The Flaws of #MeToo

I’ve written any times through out my blog on issues such as the hypocrisy of the #MeToo movement by the Left! How, while a noble premise, to give women voices against powerful abusers in authority, it does the exact opposite of what it’s supposed to do: empower women and bring justice and fairness. The problem is, while #MeToo sounds great in theory, in practice, it has some very detrimental implications and unintended consequences.

#MeToo Casts Women as Helpless Victims and Little Children

#MeToo implies women are merely helpless little victims, damsels in distress if you will, little children who are naive to what sexual coercion is. The narrative of “always believe” because alleged victims don’t lie, or at a minuscule chance of it, is flawed for the application to grown women! Even teenagers! Look, a small child does not know much at all about sexual coercion, or the slimy tactics and red flags of grooming and exploitation. Nor would be familiar enough with such concepts to lie about them. However, this is certainly NOT the case for a grown woman, even an older teenager! Yes, some may be uninformed and naive, but must learn in order to protect themselves. Forewarned is forearmed. My parents always talked to me about such dangers, and even from the tender age of 12, I knew the concept of rape and sexual assault! Thing is, while extremely unpleasant to have such conversations with young children, it must happen to empower them! Even the Left can agree and does encourage parents to teach very young children how to spot sexual abuse and inappropriate situations and most importantly, tell someone immediately! Point is, a grown woman is not a mere helpless child: she is aware of sexual dangers and should be empowered to put safeguards in place for her protection before hand too! It seems to me, incredibly misogynistic, and condescending to view women in any other way than empowered and capable of spotting and putting a stop to unethical coercion!

Not Telling Has Endangered Countless Other Women Over These Decades of Silence

Another point: If you don’t tell, and wait decades, like many have, it only endangers other women, countless others who then say “me too” later on! Think of it. If it stopped at woman #1, if the allegations are true, then women numbers 3,4,5….100 don’t have to! While being victimized is not ever deserved, not speaking out so other women won’t be makes you have a part to play by your silence letting the perpetrator get away with more crimes. Think of it this way: Not reporting a burglary makes it easier for more of the neighborhood to get robbed when they can get away with it! You may have been a victim, but your silence is letting others just like you become victims too!

It Also Casts Women as Being Easily Mentally Overpowered by Men

Not quite the feminist idea #MeToo wants to go for! 😉 While I think we can all unanimously agree many men are physically stronger than women, and can force and hold one down to assault them, and have the upper hand, many instances of #MeToo was about sexual coercion. A man in a position of authority pressuring women to submit to him to get ahead or avoid some consequence. Unless that consequence was threat of harm or death to herself/family, a woman can still say “no”. “No” may come at a greater cost, but is a job promotion, or benefits, or such worth your integrity? Giving away one of your most precious gifts and your personal dignity for some career? Look, I get some women may feel forced financially, but many #MeToo cases were from women in high powered careers making loads of money! Not to mention, we can all agree it is a vile thing to abuse authority to coerce women or anyone for that matter! That is NEVER in doubt here! Accordingly , there are more and more things in place, such as human resources and steep penalties in the workplace for sexual harassment. Giving in only lets the perpetrator win, instead if saying “no” and reporting those unethical slimy acts to the proper authorities! Coercion is a slimy, sleazy, unethical thing to do, and authority figures must be held accountable for it! Saying “no” to their demands, and speaking up immediately to proper authorities helps fight that, and “no” is always on the table unless he’s physically forcing you down or making violent threats! “No” may come at the greater cost, yes, but sometimes doing the right thing comes at the greater cost. Ladies, we are strong, empowered and capable. We should not believe our fellow women are so weak to be mentally overpowered by a man doing unethical things!

#MeToo is Hurting due Process and “Innocent Until Proven Guilty”

The noble aspect of the #MeToo movement, to give a voice to the once voiceless against unethical men in power, has now swung too far the other way: never believing the alleged perpetrator could be innocent also. The law of the land says “innocent until proven guilty in a court of law”, yet, in the court of popular opinion, a man smeared with such vile allegations as raping and assaulting women will forever be guilty regardless of proof! The fear of “but what if he really did do it?” is understandable. Admit it: Even I feel that way sometimes when I hear the stories… However, we must rise above that and think: What if he were me? What if I were the one being smeared unfairly? Would I want a fair trial, and if innocent, a full pardon and clearing of my name? What about for our fathers, husbands, brothers, male friends? Those we care about? The guilty should be punished under the fullest extent of the law, but the innocent found out and spared! Indeed, if the wrong man is punished, three, not just one injustice was done. An innocent man is punished, the victim gets no real closure, and a guilty man walks free! Defending the innocent for itself is a higher principle: if innocence does not matter, no one is safe from unjust punishment! Vile cases of women being hurt in the worst possible way gets everyone hot under the collar and emotional, myself included, but facts MUST trump feelings to get to the bottom of every allegation!

It is Also Casting Unnecessary Suspicion on Men

#MeToo on a very related note, is also causing more and more women to fear men. Now, every man is eyed as a potential rapist! The innocent elementary school boy crush and kiss is now “sexual assault” because the girl said “Eew! cooties!” The male coworker who complimented your blouse is now lecherous. The boss who called you into his office and shut the door is now at great risk for any false allegation. The family man and devoted husband and father is now an abuser and potential pedophile! Even consensual sex is viewed as “he must have pushed her to do it”! In some cases, when the “victim” said she said YES!!! The narrative of the damsel in distress must be believed at all costs, even when she said she said “yes”! Any woman can derail a man for his entire life, ruin his career, ostracize him from society, even imprison him on a dubious claim! This, ladies, should concern you for every man you know and love in your life. Your father, brother, husband, son, etc… As the men in your life should be concerned for you, their wife, daughter, sister, mother etc… about potential sexual assault. As any woman could be hurt, any man now can be falsely accused of doing the hurting. One does not negate the validity of the other. BOTH sexes can look out and protect one another! We need to stand by our men, and defend them too from a false allegation, as they would give their lives for you heaven forbid you be hurt!

Any Valid Critique is Considered “Victim Blaming” and Justifying Sexual Assault Against Women

This one is the biggest misconception and flaw! Criticizing #MeToo and bringing valid scrutiny on sexual assault allegations is perceived as victim blaming and shaming. However, is is not true! Getting to the bottom of an allegation, and thoroughly investigating and cross examining both sides is just standard procedure! The real implication in this is that women are never lying, or are always correct in the who, what where etc… In reality though, it has been proven eye witness testimonies are often flawed, memories are foggy and incomplete, especially from decades ago! The assault may have indeed happened, but it was a blur, and you misidentified the suspect! That happens all the time too in many cases, not just sexual assault! Who robbed your house? This person or that one who looks very similar? How tall was he or she? Build? Eye color? Hair color? Hair style? Distinctive facial features? etc… See what I mean! Now remember it from 30 plus years ago…. Where there other witnesses with a more solid memory or proof? Police reports? Forensic evidence collected? A lot of factors go into a fair investigation of any crime, more importantly in ones such as these! Even assertions such as saying the woman had some personal responsibility in preventing it or preventing others from being victimized too does not justify what was done to her if it was proven it was done to her! Causation is NOT justification!

For example: Being drunk at a party and someone taking advantage is wrong for the person who took advantage. Period. However why did you get so drunk you made yourself vulnerable to such victimization? We can say we need to teach boys and men to treat women with respect and never harm them. That is valid and I totally agree. However, there will still always be those who don’t. Same with robbers. We teach our children not to steal, yet there have been thieves since humanity found the concept of private property. One could argue you’re blaming the victim of a robbery too by asking them why they didn’t lock their doors, hide valuables and walk in dark secluded alleys,that and yet, it’s not some horrible victim shaming thing to ask such valid inquiries! No one has the right to steal your stuff because you made a foolish choice, ever. No one is justified in mugging you because you walked down the wrong street and had valuables on you. However, is it wrong to say you should have been more careful? Taken more precautions? No! Look, it’s not fair women have to watch out for creeps and predators. It’s not just that women can’t go to a party and get a little buzzed or wear skimpy outfits without being at greater risk. But that’s the cold hard reality, ladies! We have to take precautions to be proactive in protecting ourselves. If something happens despite all that, it happens. But don’t cry “poor me” if you literally walked into the lion’s den! We protect ourselves by doing proactive things, like locking doors, being alert to our surroundings, self defense etc… to help reduce our chance of being victimized by criminals. If a crime happens despite all that, it’s NOT your fault, but if you were careless, a part is on you for putting yourself in such a compromised position, in any crime, not just #MeToo matters!

Overall, #MeToo has too many flaws for a reasonable woman to hop on board with. I appreciate the good intentions and its noble premise, but we must judge things on effectiveness, not solely intention. The consequences of adopting this view is a lose-lose for BOTH men and women! We are empowered, capable, human beings, ladies! We are not helpless victims, little children or damsels in distress! We are accountable for our actions, and should be held to a fair standard in our integrity and honesty like anyone else. #MeToo should be for vulnerable women who in earnest, want justice for themselves and due punishment for those who would be so vile as to abuse their power and a woman in such a way! However it’s been used as a political smear tactic that makes #MeToo crying wolf, hurting REAL victims of assault with all these dubious claims in recent months and years! Look, I want what everyone wants: Justice for women who have been abused. However, we need something more objective than #MeToo. I say #NotMe!