Yes, We Need Strong Men!

In light of recent events with Gillette’s anti-traditional man commercial, people are speaking out and speaking up for the traditional man! I wanted to cover this topic before, but now seems like the prime time to do so. See, the idea of the traditional man, like the traditional woman, is under attack. The gender neutral movement of radical feminism is not truly about making things fair for women, but an attempt to eliminate any natural differences between men and women in society! They say gender is a social construct, which implies it is theirs to manipulate, and engineer in whatever Leftist direction they choose.

This has created a monster: One where little boys are now forbidden to play soldier, roughhouse, or pursue a mate later in life. All gender roles are now un PC, and boys must be taught to play with dolls, wear pink, and mothers encourage their sons to “let out their feelings” and be “vulnerable”. A boy’s natural energy is pathologized in schools as a special ed issue or a video game a gateway to being the next shooter. A little boy hugging a teacher is an assault, or pursing a playground crush if she says “eew!”. Boys creating harmless mischief and antics, or a no girls allowed tree house or club is not “sexist”. A man who wants his wife to raise his children, and vows to protect her, or puts women first in his life is now “patronizing”. A father who guards his daughter’s heart is accused of treating her like a slave. A military that wants strong men, not weaker women is now “discriminatory”… And so on and so on.

Now, the Left says gender roles are too restrictive, and enforce a “patriarchy”, but did they ever think why those roles were there in the first place? Like it or not, men are women are different. Different physically, and yes, in aptitude and emotionally as well. Humans are a sexually dimorphic species after all, if you just look down below 😉 Our traditional evolved roles suited our unique traits, thus, men being the protector and provider and doing more physical labor, while women doing the child rearing, and keeping the home, foraging, making materials needed back at camp, while the men went out to hunt and such. Many un-industrialized cultures still do this. However, as the Left points out, we’re in the 21st century, not the stone age! Our roles can become more fluid than man hunt, woman gather! And to an extent, I agree. Women and men can overlap more in today’s society in roles such as work and childcare. However, some things have not changed…

We still need our men to protect and provide for society. The cold hard truth is, women are weaker physically than men. Think of why it’s so appalling for a man to hit a woman. It’s appalling to be violent towards anyone, but the key here, as many would agree, is the woman is at an unfair disadvantage, just like it would be unfair to pair wrestlers of vastly different weight classes together for a match! Women are still more vulnerable to violence and assault, due to their weaker physicality. Men have more ways to fight back than women. Why are more women raped than men? Assaulted? It’s not the “patriarchy”, as men are also raped, but at a far less number. Now, one could argue male temperaments towards sexual aggression are higher, but doesn’t that, Lefties, imply that men and women are innately different??? Part of it, a large part I think is women simply are often too weak to fight a man pinning them down versus another guy. Try that on a guy, and take your life in your hands! Point is, women still need protection.

So does society at large. Think of who made up soldiers and armies throughout history. Only recently were women allowed in combat roles! Another sad state of affairs in gender neutral lunacy… Who defended the campsite from the rival tribe, or the predator? Who is there to defend the country in times of war? Who is strong enough to fight hand to hand with an enemy, or kick in a door or take down a thief? Who will defend a woman’s or a child’s life in times of need? Who was it helping women get out during mass shootings across the country? Who shielded their girlfriends in the movie theater and sacrificed their lives for the women they loved? Do we want all that to go away in the name of gender neutrality? Is this what toxic masculinity is about? Why do you think the marines’ tests of endurance wind the majority of women, and even men?! Do you honestly think that women in intense combat roles is just as good for our defense as the strongest men?

What’s so wrong with men being the leader and provider either? The feminists say women can look after themselves, and have the same providing role as men, but then who’s looking after the next generation? Just as men for eons have been the protectors and providers, women have been the child rearers and nurturers in the home. There is something about a mother’s love and care a father cannot replicate. Nor vice versa. “Mr. mom” will never replace REAL mom as much as the radical feminists wish to delude themselves. Mommy’s work is not more important than being there for the children, who need her at home the most, no matter what is deemed “empowering” to women at the expense of the next generation. Nor will a single mom replace the guidance and leadership a father can give his sons as future men, or his daughter in matters of the heart. As told before, the war on fatherhood is real, with dads being told to step down in their role as their children’s leader, especially in the lives of daughters. Now, it’s “toxic” to screen a daughter’s boyfriends, or tell her to wait and be chaste until the time is right. A man can’t show his daughter the men he chooses to trust her with without accusations of treating her like chattel! A woman can’t entrust her heart to her father anymore, or be given away at the altar without the Left whining about it! A man who is the rock of his family, the leader and provider is not outdated, just deemed “toxic” by the Left.

Toxic masculinity is NOT about saying “boys will be boys”, letting boys roughhouse, young men talking crudely in a private locker room, or a young man pursuing a date. It’s not the husband who will be the rock of his family, provide, honor and protect his wife. It’s not the man who feels women should be treated like ladies, let in first, given a seat, holding a door for them, paying for their date night. Nor is it the father who guards his daughter’s heart until marriage, or encourages her to know her worth and makes sure any suitor knows it too 😉 Or the brother who protects his sister’s honor when the bully called her a slut. Or the good Samaritan who stood up for a woman in need. Or the man who answers the call to defend his country or his community as a solider or policeman.

Boys talking crudely is NOT about justifying raping women! A man who provides for his wife is not controlling her finances. A father who guards the heart of his daughter is not treating her like his personal property, but his personal responsibility. A young man in pursuit of a girl is not forcing himself on her, nor forcing her to date him. A man who believes “women and children first” or that violence against women is a special type of evil is not being patronizing, but honoring the fact his strength was meant to serve the weaker and more vulnerable among us. No! REAL toxic masculinity is the wife beater. The abuser. The drunkard who won’t provide. The cheating husband. The rapist. The pedophile. The criminal. The enemy. The terrorist. The harasser that won’t stop. The bully who calls your sister that vile name.

I’m so grateful I was raised by a strong man. A man who can be sentimental, but never carried away in emotion and hysteria! A man who is the rock in his family, whom his wife and children are his priority. Who always wants to provide and jumps at every opportunity to do so. Who guards my heart until I find the right man to take his place one day once he is gone. Who shows me what a real man is, what he does and what he expects of a lady in return. Who would lay down his life for my mother and I. Who believes that every woman deserves to be protected and honored by men in society. Who can laugh with the guys over a lewd joke or “locker room talk” yet views a real rapist or assaulter of women as more vile than a murderer! And can be tough without being a bully. Who can like guy things like monster trucks, sports cars, guns, etc… yet also appreciate the beauty of art and color, or music. Who can appreciate a good looking woman, without ever one thought of being unfaithful to his wife.

He believes in gender equality, and always treated the women in his life accordingly, yet also recognized that equal does not have to mean identical and that women have strengths where men don’t and men have strengths where women don’t. Nor in guarding my heart, views me as his personal property that he is entitled to do as he sees fit. In fact, he often tells me “It’s your decision” 😉 He wants me to have my own mind, my own path in life, my own career, but also, to open my heart to a man like himself. A protector and provider who will honor, protect, cherish, and lead me. He has real feelings, but is not weak. Is tough but not a bully. Appreciates a good looking woman, but not a slime bag. Can banter with the boys but never once mistreated a woman. Knows the worth of women in his life, but is not afraid to assert his own worth as a traditional masculine man!

Toxic masculinity is NOT the idea of the traditional man as provider, protector and leader of his family and his community! The man who can put up a good wresting match, or holds his emotions back to be there when his family needs him in times of crisis. The man who likes monster trucks and guns instead of soap operas, and knitting sweaters! The man who would rather avoid pink in his wardrobe. The man who tells his wife “I’ll provide for you and our children” or his daughter “he’s not good for you”. The man who answers the call of duty here and abroad. And it’s certainly not men who are man enough to have to shave each morning 😉

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“War of The Words”

I apologize if this post sounds too technical or is too lengthy, but I hope it’s worth the patience to read! I highly recommend clicking some of the links as they provide more background info, or are really fascinating reads! I love scholarly works and hope my post reflects this 🙂

How powerful are the words we use? Do they control us, or do we have more control over words than we think? These are questions that social scientists such as anthropologists, linguists, and more pertinent to us, politicians (Think how to best convince us to vote for them!) want to answer. As many of my more frequent readers may know, I’m big into science and history! And my passion extends its influence into my thoughts, opinions and reasoning on the issues I address often in A Lady of Reason. Recently, I read some articles on the power of words and how language shapes our perceptions of the world around us from an anthropological and linguistic point of view. While some were great and insightful reads for all, others were disappointingly partisan and a jab at conservatives. I wanted to explore some ideas I thought of in light of reading some of these articles, but first, a key premise:

In linguistic studies and anthropology, a revolutionary theory was proposed by several scholars, most famously Edward Sapir and Benjamin Lee Whorf. Well known in the scholarly community as “Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis” (That being a misnomer as they never actually collaborated together on such an idea), it is basically the idea that the structure and words of a language have a profound influence on how you perceive the world and how you think. See, ideas, concepts and ways of looking at the world you think are just a part of reality, such as color perceptions, how we categorize things, numbers, and even the concept of time, can vary culture to culture! How do we know they don’t think like we might? The evidence is in the grammar and vocabulary of their languages. Now, critics have said that perhaps Whorf especially went a bit too far in his theory and edged into a sort of linguistic determinism, that is, language dictates what we are capable of thinking, but a more moderate interpretation still holds sway. After all, who can deny that words have great power over our minds?

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This shows an example of how a different culture can think differently about the same thing than we may think of it…  From the article “Science and Linguistics”, originally published in the MIT Technology Review, 1940. (Wikipedia)

And every propagandist knows that! Every great orator, politician, journalist and others know that words matter a great deal in how we perceive what they want to get across. “Actions speak louder than words”, but so does tone, as the other saying goes, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it” 😉 How is all this relevant to us one might ask? The short answer: Political correctness and the idea of “hate speech” as an exception to the 1st amendment.

Controlling and regulating our language is not a new thing. Every tyrannical regime has censored what people could say, and by extension, dare to think. Hitler did it, Communist Russia did it, Mao did it, and every dictator in between since antiquity! Orwell’s 1984 called it out in his concept of “news speak” in the dystopian novel where certain words were forbidden or more flattering euphemisms to steer your mind to different perceptions of the concepts encoded replaced other words. While we’re not in such a stark dystopia, there’s no doubt that certain words are, ahem, “undesirable”…

You must not say “illegal”, now it’s “undocumented”.

You must not say “retarded”, now it’s “intellectual disability”

You must not say “Muslim terrorist”, it’s now “extremist” or “terrorist” alone…

These are only some of many other examples I welcome you to share with us in the comments! The reasons behind these prohibitions are that the words are argued to be pejorative, or inaccurate. However, they do reflect the truth, or a valid usage of the word. “Illegal” refers to one’s illegal status in the country and is accurate, but is decried as dehumanizing, when in reality, it’s not about one’s humanity, but one’s immigration status! Saying “undocumented” has connotations and implies that the person is justifiably in the country, but is merely not officially recorded as a legitimate member. The political implications are profound for immigration debates.

The word “retarded”, not the insult, but the term used in medicine, was a legitimate usage of the word and was not pejorative. Nor were the terms idiot, imbecile and moron respectively until they too became out of fashion and “retarded” the new enlightened word! One can argue it is outdated and has taken on and pejorative meaning, but aren’t we just on a big euphemism treadmill, just replacing one term after another in a never ending cycle? No, saying someone is less intelligent or “not all there in the head” is not a nice thing, but the truth hurts sometimes… When do we stop trying to replace word after word after word for it?

In my last example, related to my first, if one refers to terrorists who are Muslim and did it out of religious (or Islamic, to put it frankly) extremism, then isn’t “Muslim” a pertinent modifier? Of course, the omission has more to do with politics than accuracy again… Charged terms in other debates too, such as “pro-choice” and “pro life” as opposed to pro- or anti- abortion, can bring on more of a squabble about terminology than the ideas themselves being debated. Words in summary, do greatly affect how we are swayed in these issues, more than we admit to think.

Another issue too in the Left’s “war of the words” revolves around more benign terminology, such as names for groups of people not meant to be pejorative, but were deemed so by the PC police! “Indian” is now “Native American”. You cant say “tribe” anymore to describe a more simple society of people then a nation or civilization. “Oriental” is also now un PC… Also common phrases and sayings, such as:

“Boys will be boys”

“America is a land of opportunity”

“That’s retarded”

“Like a girl”

“That’s so gay”

Among many others! Now deemed pejorative, sexist, racist, ablest, homophobic etc… they were once not thought of as any of those things, and used by all in society. Only after the Left deemed them un PC were they whined about and given much more negative meanings. Yes, language does change, and evolves, but the natural evolution of a language versus a social agenda are two very different things, and the Left by actively prohibiting such words seems to be doing the latter!

Words also hold great sway when they truly are meant to be pejorative, too! These words, the Left says, are soul crushing and demoralizing agents that oppress minorities, women, gays and many others! However, why is this? Apparently it’s now deemed false and un PC to say “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt you…”, but I still think there is truth to this.

Going back to linguistics, there is solid evidence words have power over how we perceive our world and things within it, but they also point out that words are merely sounds; morphemes, phonemes, syllables, strung together to make sense of our world. Those gibberish noises coming from our vocal cords are only given any meaning whatsoever by us humans who speak such sounds! To put it bluntly: Words are what we say they mean, including their connotations good or bad. It’s a key rule in fighting those school bullies, you let their insults get to you, they win as you give them power!

YOU decide how hurtful a word is to you. So does your community. If you let a slur, which is basically just another silly insult hurled by bullies, just bigger ones, crush your soul and intimidate and demoralize you, they win! The Left’s idea that a slur can hurt you like a knife or a bullet, is merely another control tactic to make one identify as a passive victim, rather than a victor. Take the linguists’ view to heart: Words are merely sounds assigned to concepts to talk about our world. That includes slurs. Something is only powerful when others give it power! Words only mean what we let them! Why let the bullies win, on the playground, or in the wider world?

Overall, this presents sort of a linguistic contradiction: Words shape our perception of the world greatly, yet we are in complete control of what they mean. Seems illogical, but I argue they are not mutually exclusive. Not when you think of it in terms that by determining what we let words mean, we control how we will then think! Your language does color your perception of the world, but unlike linguistic determinism, we are not the passive recipients of such control, but can be active choosers in what we will think by controlling the language that controls us! 🙂 In essence, we control how we look at the issues pressing to us, through the terms we use, what we value in society, the worldview we want to create for our society and so on.

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It’s like its own feedback loop…

In the right minds with the right words, shaping language is an amazing tool for progress, while in the wrong minds, leads to dictatorships, tyranny and disarray. The Left is in a battle to control what we can say, and by extension think. Using words as weapons, are working to socially engineer our minds and those after us! Now, both sides of course, can do it to each other, but the key is to let both sides use the words they feel are needed and not censor one side as this then smites that view of the world.

The Left wants to do just that, smite our view of the world. To make sure our side is presented in harsh terms while theirs is glossed over by flowery euphemisms hiding unpleasant truths, or an agenda is pushed by omitting a phrase they deem against it to be racist, sexist etc….  Just like how a lost language is also a lost culture, an entire worldview lost to oblivion, so will be our view if censored through terminology and language. More to the point, as some cultures deemed other languages and cultures not worthy of being part of the richness of humanity, and wiped out, isn’t it the same when our language, terminology, and ideas by extension, are also deemed not worthy of being spoken and thought of?

Never underestimate the power of your voice fellow patriots, and how you can through your words, help shape your world! 

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No, Actually, The World Doesn’t Owe You…

It’s a common issue for the Left: Whom to give reparations to? Or welfare, or affirmative action etc.. etc… Many groups clamor for their chance at getting their “due justice” from “histories of oppression”, marginalization and even violence! Even on a smaller less dramatic scale, we see this idea of those that have more, are obligated in some fashion to give to those who have less. Now, this all sounds well and good. After all, isn’t it just to give back what was wrongfully stolen, or to give to those more in need than yourself? The simple answer would be yes, of course it is and we should! However, like anything in this world, the answer is not so black and white…

These cases can be broadly broken up into a few basic scenarios. One, is the case of the marginalized group, mostly a minority ethnic or racial group claiming reparations for past historic injustices such as discrimination, conquest, even violence. Closely related is the affirmative action debate as historic discrimination happened in schools and the workplace for some groups, but also branches out to include other categories such as gender/sex and sexual orientation. Another case is the people who are at a socio-economic disadvantage and claim that those with more ought to give some of it to them so the balance is more even and the gap between rich and poor must be shrunken as far as possible. Also, on a much bigger scale, international claims to rights or moral obligations that the United States must or should honor in giving people asylum or citizenship to flee persecution, poverty or other events worldwide.

My stance on this? The world doesn’t owe you, we don’t owe you… Now, how on Earth could anyone think so callously or without empathy? Am I not aware that I could have been in their shoes too just as easily had fate turned out different? Of course I am! I get it, and do in fact, have a sense of altruism like the rest of us. In a perfect world, or close to perfect as it can be while still containing the same issues, the simple answer would be of course, I have more, so there’s enough to give to you, too! Problem is, it’s not a black and white cut and dried world, with easy solutions that work. Nor is everything on the surface the whole truth for the claimants to our help… Let’s break down the examples with a few:

Let’s start with the first scenario: The historically conquered then marginalized group. They say that since we took their lands long ago, subjected them to most inhumane brutalities, stamped out their culture and claim we continue to marginalize them, we owe them big time! On its face it seems a fair claim. After all, there’s no way around the truth that horrible things were done through out history to them. The group I’m thinking of is the many tribes of Native Americans. We have done many inhumane, horrible things that should be addressed in some form or another, mainly, to never do it again! Trouble is, the magnitude of their demands.

Many want their original lands repatriated back to them lost through our conquests of their people. However, this is not so easy to fulfill, for one thing, countless Americans now live on those lands, major cities built, neighborhoods grew… We’re not talking about the vast open wilderness of the 15th to 19th centuries here! And what about the generations of new inhabitants who never hurt one single Indian nor have even their grandparents? It was wrong early settlers took land through genocide and violence, but the current inhabitants of said land are as innocent as the natives who lived on it two centuries earlier! Which brings up another point in this not so clear cut moral dilemma…

They did it, too! Yes the Native Americans were not some “noble savage” stereotype of a peaceful nature-loving hippie! They were human just as much as anyone else and had the bad side of humanity just as much as we did. They burned, plundered, conquered and killed other fellow tribes in their areas. They may have not had the “guns, germs and steel”, but as far as morality goes, which we’re judging here, was just as barbaric as any European.

Had they an edge over another tribe, they would use it in a heartbeat and would have loved to have wiped out their enemies. So the question is then, what do they owe those people? I’m cool with giving over the land we took from them, as soon as they give back every little thing they ever took since they crossed the Bering Strait into North America from their enemies they marginalized, conquered, subjugated and oppressed…  In this case, maybe they could make a solid case we owe them something of some sort, but they can’t hide from the fact by their own logic then, they also owe someone the same things, too! Of course, they are not the only group that falls under similar situations, but this is one major example.

Another major example is more generic and socioeconomic in nature. The Left claims that people with more wealth and social status owe people who have less and they only got it through oppressing the people who have less. For example, if you live in a fancy neighborhood and send your kids to the finest schools, you are also obligated to help lift a kid from the ghetto out of poverty by placing them with your child, or your tax dollars have to go to a welfare system. Or you owe them a job at your company because they were “marginalized”. Or a school has to create scholarships for certain special interest groups. The moral issue here lies in the concept of “privilege” and who has it. The argument is that some people are more privileged and need to combat their privilege and the onus is on them to help fight the inequality of those without it. However things are not so cut and dried here either!

Trouble here is well, how did they get said privilege? Yes, they live in a good neighborhood, have a well paying job and are able to easily provide for their family. But how did they get into such good luck? Yes, some could have had it handed to them, or cheated their way up, but for many, it was hard work like everyone else, through the sweat and tears of their family who aspired for the next generation to have more. Point is, that “privilege” was earned. The rich CEO whose grandpa fled Nazi Germany and built the company from nothing, the high powered mom who worked her way into a middle class life out of a broken home by her work and hers alone and now is giving her kids a chance at a new life to give their kids and so on.

A (white) man like my dad whose grandparents fled the Armenian genocide, and lived a borderline poverty blue collar childhood yet is labeled privileged and the onus put on him to solve racial injustice. Why do these people owe someone with less, but can work their way up, too? And what about those simply born into “privilege” the same way someone else was born into disadvantage? We don’t blame the victim of uncontrolled circumstance, such as a marginalized minority for simply being born a minority! Why is it okay then to put the onus of change on the person born white, or male, and in a middle class family, things he couldn’t control either!

My last but certainly not least example is the “right” to asylum in the US and immigration. I’ve written about it in much detail before, so I’ll get straight to the point: We don’t owe anyone citizenship in this country, or asylum morally that is, simply because we have more resources. We’re not the world’s crash pad, nor babysitter. Nor do we want people who are ungrateful and bring their 3rd world injustices into this country, and demand welfare and resources that we do have the legal and moral obligation to give to our own citizens first! If the roles were reversed, the Left would argue that they don’t have to prioritize us over their people… Also, on an important side note, the asylum law says the first safe country, not the cushiest! 😉

Point is overall, there will always be people with more than you. There will always be those with less than you. Why is it automatically assumed that you owe someone who had less simply because you have more through your own hard work, or your lucky circumstance? The onus for change is not on someone simply because they have more fortunate circumstances. The onus is on YOU to work hard to change your life! You to study harder. Work harder. Grasp at more opportunities instead of waiting for them to be given to you, because for many who made it to the top: it wasn’t either. Conquest and historic injustices did happen, racism and sexism and other prejudices did have effects on the world. However, why is one group more responsible for reparations when the group claiming it also has skeletons in their closet? Or the REAL perpetrators have died generations ago? Or you claim asylum yet continue to perpetuate your injustices here?

Is this to say we should never reach out and lend a helping hand or try to make inequalities go away? Not at all! That’s not my point! Giving out of the kindness of one’s heart, altruism, empathy, charity, all have a place in this world. The problem starts when people think the generosity and giving has to be compulsory and others are entitled to it simply because we have more… We should all have generous hearts, which are open to give to those worthy of it. To lift a promising student out of poverty with a scholarship. To have charities to help the needy and break the cycle and give them the change to work their way to the top. To advocate to make sure minorities are not still marginalized or discriminated against for real. To help internationally without draining our resources we need for our own people. My family opens its doors to less fortunate friends. My dad is big on donating to charities as that’s how he was raised to give and serve others.

The key difference is that is true altruism. Given freely as a choice from the heart. What the Left demands is not altruism or goodwill towards fellow man, but forced social engineering! That Robin Hood socialist mentality that is forced and guilt tripped rather than given freely out of altruism and empathy from within. So in conclusion, no, the world doesn’t owe you anything simply for being disadvantaged in some way, because aren’t we all? No one is obligated to have the onus placed on them for your problems if they weren’t the direct cause of them. No one has everything they need or want. We just make do with what we have and work for what we don’t. Why can’t you?

Serving others does not mean enslaving yourself!

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Who is a Conservative?

Stereotypes: Everyone’s got them, and conservatives are no different! What do you imagine when you picture the standard conservative? For me, it’s a white, straight, middle class, Christian man who lives somewhere down south or in the middle of the country on some rural farmland or a small town with not much diversity. Guided by his deep faith, he wants America to become more traditional again, like in the days of his grandparents or his boyhood. He’s a blue collar salt of the Earth guy who works with his hands and provides for his wife and children. He may not be college educated, but has a wisdom that goes far beyond any formal “education”, lessons shaped by living life and wisdom only gained through years of experience. He doesn’t have much material wise, not many comforts, but his family is rich in love and devotion and his faith fulfills him….

Now, I’ll say right off the bat, despite this image being mostly positive, it can also come off as patronizing and condescending for some, casting the conservative into some sort of romanticized version of some ignorant hillbilly! To put this in less flattering terms, as the Left believes we are:

He is utterly ignorant, barely passing high school and if he were college educated, would be on the Left. His rural settings have not exposed him to other sorts of people, causing his bigotry and xenophobia, or his southern heritage made him come from generations of racists. His religion preaches hatred towards gays and anyone who isn’t white and just like him. His family are oppressed by his patriarchal attitude and his wife nothing more than good breeding stock, like his cattle. His children mere property, especially daughters, with which he does as he sees fit. His only “wisdom” is how to be a complete ignoramus and fear all differences. He votes with his emotion, not his mind at the polls. He’s have a better job, but shuns education as elitist and prefers to make barely above minimum wage. He idolizes and venerates his poverty in mind and material as a virtue…

If you’re not steaming out of both ears by now, kudos to you 😉 This is not in fact, a wild exaggeration of a conservative stereotype, but true, insinuated by much of the radical Left! The Left has indeed openly mocked the faith of many conservatives, mocked many for their blue collar background and yes, implied that they are utterly ignorant and embrace an anti-intellectual stance! To the Left, we are mainly some Bible Thumping fundies who seek to impose our faith on the universe through guilt trips and hell fire, or some deep south hillbilly, or some high school drop out who with more education, would vote Left! We’re little more than knee jerk bigots who recoil at anyone who’s different than ourselves. We hate gays, minorities, oppress our women, and refuse to listen to science! Our blue collar backgrounds are derided and mocked from their ivory towers. In essence, to the Left, we’re the party of ignorance and embrace it!

However, like any stereotype, some fit the mold, others don’t… See, being a conservative myself, I can attest that I fall out of several of their stereotypical categories! For one, I’m an atheist! I don’t look to any god to tell me what my morals are or what society should be like. I have non-religious reasons for condemning things like promiscuity, broken homes, immodest dress, and such that often are criticized by religious groups. Many of my values line up with conservative Christians, and several have made amazing allies and fellow conservative friends and comprise of many of my loyal followers. They, in fact, unlike the bigoted “hell fire and brimstone” stereotype of them, are amazingly open minded and accept me as a fellow ally too despite knowing I’m non-religious. It’s funny when Lefties online try to attack me from a religious angle and are thrown in for a loop when I tell them I’m an not religious! (No, I don’t care about what a 1st century Jewish rabbi from Roman Palestine might have thought about immigration in 21st century America! 😉 )

Another thing, I’m a woman (hence a “Lady” of Reason 😉 ). Indeed, not all women subscribe to the pulls of radical feminism! I don’t respect those who screech profanities, wear vulgar vagina hats and hold signs with toilet jokes! I prefer the lady of generations past over the “Nasty Woman” of today. I don’t agree that men are in a world wide mass conspiracy to oppress the other half of humanity, or that they succeeded as much as the Left think they did. Men and women are equal in dignity as human beings, but not identical in their aptitudes, natures, and abilities. Men are not “sexist” for voicing an opinion contrary to radical feminism, nor are women like me “gender traitors” for voting Republican or for Trump! Women like me and many others who are conservative think their chromosomes don’t determine what they must think, their brains do 🙂

In addition, there are plenty of other things too that make me and others exceptions to the rule: Many conservatives do live on the East Coast or out in California. We just don’t voice it as openly in a sea of rabid liberals. Many conservatives are in white collar jobs, and we know this by how many got forced out by the Left once exposed! Many have gone to college and graduate school, and make up our scientists, teachers, scholars, etc… Indeed, some even created their own journal to publish controversial ideas the Left won’t let them publish in mainstream Left-leaning journals! I myself treasure education, and have always had a life long passion for science and history. Many conservatives are not straight. I know several gay conservatives, and they are well known on social media platforms such as Twitter. Many of us embrace them as we share similar values, and don’t just write them off because they’re gay! Speaking of gay conservatives, they don’t use their sexuality as a political platform or victimhood status…

Many conservatives are also minorities too. Conservatives such as Michelle Malkin, Candace Owens, Thomas Sowell, Walter Williams, etc..etc… They don’t let their race define their opinions, and decry the hypocrisy of white Leftists condescending their race as victims in need of saving! And, not all conservatives are Christian. I know several who are loyal allies and followers on my blog who are Jewish, despite claims that conservatives embrace or condone antisemitism. There even is a Muslim conservative (despite being very rare since the Left aligns with the Muslim community heavily, even radical Muslims) I know about on Twitter who runs The Washington Pundit! Then of course, there’s me having no religion 😉

However, even if a conservative fits the stereotypical mold, it that necessarily negative or bad? It’s true that many who aren’t college educated have more wisdom than 20 college kids put together! People who are down to Earth, and work with their hands are some of the most honest, hardworking people with integrity to a fault! Being blue collar or middle class should not be a sin… Living in the South or in the Midwest does not mean you’re a caveman, and is demeaning and condescending to those who live there and in rural areas to cast them as ignorant hicks! CA and New England aren’t the only places in the country worth noting… A person who is conservative as part of their deep and sincere faith deserves no more mockery, disrespect and derision than you do for your deep heartfelt beliefs. Nor should be forced to violate their deep moral tenets in the name of “inclusion”. People who are poor in possessions aren’t necessarily poor in morals and the love of their family and the fulfillment of their faith or other life philosophy, nor does it mean they should be targets for patronizing scorn for not being as materialistic or as fortunate as you! Plenty of conservative men, such as my father would never oppress a woman or think to treat his wife and daughters as property! Nor turn to white supremacy. Being a white male and conservative is not an indicator of racism and bigotry.

So who is a conservative? A conservative is like anybody else! We’re your neighbors, friends, and family. We’re the ones you invite to the barbecue, over for the holidays, the ones you comfort during the hard times, and laugh with during the fun ones. The ones who you feel you can confide your deepest fears, joys, aspirations, secrets. You may not even have a clue what our politics are, but you do know that when we’re with you, we light up the room and embrace you wholeheartedly with no regards to your skin color, gender, sexuality etc… We’re your coworker. Your colleague. The ones you see in church, or synagogue, or even in your mosque perhaps! Your cashier, waiter, bank teller, realtor, mechanic, lawyer, doctor, teacher, and a multitude of people you will see every day.  And yes, I can’t help but also mention, your president! 😉

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The Political is Personal…

“The political is personal!”…

I’m sure you’ve all heard that phrase thrown around a lot! The strident activist for whatever issue says it to urge others to join their cause. It’s thrown out there when others decide not to be politically active or join causes. To be honest, I think the phrase is too often overused and turns more people off than motivates them to take action. I myself have never really been interested in politics and was ever politically active until I started this blog. I also think that not everyone has to be or is obligated to be politically active! Many do have a tendency to over politicize every little issue and make it into a derisive thing that divides, not unities us in our society.

However, there is more than a grain of truth in that statement. Many issues I write about on A Lady of Reason are social issues. Racial tensions, culture clashes, hypocrisy and inequalities, gender relations, morality, and the like. Politics does impact our lives in various ways. The policies made in Washington do trickle down to the average citizen at some point! Our tax dollars fund their agendas. Attitudes about race “color” (pun intended 😉 ) how people may interact and view each other.  Gender issues affect the dynamic between how men and women relate to one another. Our foreign policies and defense determine who’s our friends and enemies. Immigration policies determine who will be your neighbor, your classmates, your coworkers, what sort of society you will live in. Special interest groups’ agendas do have ramifications for others that affect far beyond just themselves. Who you become friends with, who you trust, how safe you feel, how financially secure you are, what your neighborhood becomes, your children’s schools, all of it is affected by political and social policies and agendas. And that’s the thing: Much of the Left who are young and brainwashed by public school, will get a wake up call that their idealism doesn’t work in the real world once they grow up and take on more responsibilities, jobs, homes, families to raise etc…

My dad, who never wanted to vote and was never political became so after 2016, because of what he saw, and what he’s been through. A man who never voted, voted for the first time in over half his life in our last election. Why? Because the policies over there, affected him and his family and community. Many on both sides of the political spectrum have had similar stories. See, I became outspoken on these issues here once I grew older and saw more of the issues I bring up regularly, and why I argue for the Conservative viewpoint socially and politically. I’ve seen the Left’s policies at work, and have the evidence that they simply aren’t working! So what’s “personal” about politics?

It’s personal when your children’s school is being filled with 3rd world children who have only ever known dog eat dog brutality, or the neglected children from broken, unstable, and even criminal homes who disrupt the learning environment in more ways than one!

It’s personal when your wife, mother, daughter, sister etc… has to share a bathroom with a biological man who masquerades as a “woman”…

It’s personal when the shooting happens in your high school or college and no one was allowed to fight back or even take precautions such as security beforehand…

It’s personal when you have to look your children in the eye and say “Daddy lost his job” because of illegals being hired.

It’s personal when your husband, son, brother, father, etc… is on the receiving end of a baseless allegation from some woman…

It’s personal when you’ve worked with a generation affected by the devastation and insecurity of a broken home, glossed over in “any family is a real family” politically correct propaganda…

It’s personal when you’re told that your skin color or gender confers guilt for deeds you never did and supremacy you never upheld through any actions of your own, or why you didn’t get that job or into that school…

It’s personal when your neighborhood is turning into an unsafe ghetto and you fear for your safety every time you step outside your home..

It’s personal when you worry about the messages your daughter is absorbing about sex being a handshake to give away to anyone who asks guilt free…

Or the message your son receives encouraging him to revile his manhood and his masculinity…

It’s personal when the fear becomes real, that a foreign enemy is knocking on your door due to a weak military, and some who have come here know that exact fear…

It was and still is, personal for the countless lives lost and their families to terrorism due to denial and political correctness avoiding the REAL reasons for terrorism. And for all of us, as it can happen anywhere, to anyone at any time…

It’s personal when your own children are taught in school to see you and other family members as misguided, wrong, and even, immoral for the politics you hold…

It’s personal when your pay check is stretched thinner and thinner due to incompetent economic policies…

It’s personal when you realize countries just like ours have degraded into chaos, terrorism and crime! Countries you may have enjoyed on a trip not so long ago that are no longer safe, and realize that they could be us. They were just like us…

It’s personal when you are defined as a “victim” because you’re a woman, or your skin is darker when you know you are far more empowered than they say you are but are shut down and labeled a “traitor” when you dare to speak the truth by your own kind!  

And last but certainly not the last point in existence on the subject:

It’s personal when you can’t voice your views without ostracism, censorship, demonization, ad hominem attacks, lost jobs, friendships and family!

So yes, the political is personal in many cases, which is why we must not be silent on what is affecting our lives! The silent majority can’t stay silent forever…. 🙂

So, what made politics personal to you?…

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“Baby, It’s Triggering Outside”…

A new holiday tradition around the Christmas season is the Left getting triggered over the most benign things! From “Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer” being offensive for sending messages of people only accepting differences for what they can get out of you, to even getting in a huff over making fun winter holiday themed activities in school, even candy canes, the Left has become the Christmas, or more broadly, the Holiday Grinch!

Look, I’ve written before that I take a more moderate, reserved view about the whole “war on Christmas” business, even from a conservative view. As a secular person, I honestly don’t mind “Happy Holidays” over “Merry Christmas” and understand why businesses and employers want to use the broader term to not alienate potential customers or employees, or why government and municipal buildings/public spaces would not allude specifically to one holiday, or one religion in a country of religious freedom. In the grand scheme of culture wars, this particular one is one that takes a backseat in my opinion to far more negatively impactful issues, such as 3rd world values creeping in for instance. Saying “Happy holidays” is not the gateway to Sharia law or the persecution of those who do celebrate Christmas, including myself! That being said upfront, there IS a middle ground between “Christian theocracy”and PC “no-mention of any holiday allowed” dictatorship in its own right!

Having candy canes, red and green decorations, a Christmas tree generically decorated (which I’ll note is NOT a Christian symbol but comes from older Pagan traditions), wreaths, and non-religious songs playing do not cross the line into “Christians only” territory! It is possible to have generic winter themes stuff, and holiday things that don’t exclude anyone, even if they are traditionally associated with Christmas. Having an allergic, knee jerk reaction to an innocent wreath, candy canes, or even the colors red and green in the name of religious pluralism is outlandish, as you’re really stretching the scope of  “religious symbolism” into imaginary extremes! A “holiday party” at work is not the same as a church service! “Jingle Bells” is not the same as “Silent Night” in terms of specific religious content in a school holiday program for instance!

I also want to make it very clear, private businesses, property, citizens and such have just as much right to choose a specific holiday, and openly display overtly religious symbols of their choosing! I will fight for anyone’s right to say “Merry Christmas”, display nativity scenes, choose to openly celebrate Christmas as a religious holy day as these rights come with being a country that has freedom of religion. I support a private business emphasizing Christmas over a generic holiday season if they so choose to. Everyone has the right to display all the nativity scenes they want on their own property! Every citizen has the right to worship in the way they choose, just the government can’t favor or impose one on everyone which is why this opinion does not extend into the government/municipal sphere… Unfortunately, the Left can’t understand this nuance, and out of a knee jerk fear of offending or excluding, seek to ban anything even remotely related to the holidays for everyone…

To the Left nothing is safe, not even fun holiday/winter themed songs! “Baby it’s Cold Outside” is now anathema to the #MeToo hysterics who say it supports rape culture and the woman is being unethically coerced. “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”, a classic since 1964 is now told to have detrimental messages such as people only accepting differences if they can use you! A principal banished any Christmas or holiday activities whatsoever, even going so far as to ban candy canes on an urban legend it stands for “J” for Jesus and the red is Christ’s blood that would be proven false with a bit of research on her part! Even winter/holiday themed Starbucks cups that have winter/holiday designs and red and green, but no religious symbols whatsoever are making triggered snowflakes get in a tizzy over them excluding people!

If you follow and read my blog closely, many of these instances of utter hysteria are reminiscent of my earlier Halloween post where the Left also makes the innocent and innocuous into something perverted or offensive! I mean, come on! “Baby it’s cold outside” is nothing more than a fun song about a man and woman flirting playfully together. Its clear she is in no distress whatsoever nor is upset to be with the guy! She wants to stay and is coyly telling him to persuade her to over practical reasons why she should go home. Its more of “I really should go back, but I’m enjoying it so much, I need an excuse to stay”, NOT “I feel coerced and he’s trying to exert power over me to force me to stay with him”… Not to mention the glaringly obvious: What about all the vulgar rap songs and pop music our youth listens to that objectify and degrade women, and have lyrics that if #MeToo were applied fairly, would counts as rape and sexual assault/harassment! Women are called vile names, Sl—t, B—Ch, H—es, etc… etc.. and lyrics speak of smacking their booties, oogling their breasts, speaking of strippers and having unbridled sex and overall treating women as nothing more than a “score” for a player, yet a song like “Baby it’s Cold Outside” with zero of the above is labeled as promoting rape culture??? The hypocrisy is maddening!

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is just what it was always interpreted as: Someone who is different who was discriminated against, proves everyone wrong by having his special talent, and being an asset to everyone else, not a detriment! That should be a very Left leaning SJW message, as they argue that many groups who are discriminated against do have that “special talent” to add to the country, or community. Rudolph’s red nose saved the day and proved his worth to everyone who thought he was useless. To argue that it’s a bad message in that it means people only care abut what they can get out of you in a selfish manner is highly pessimistic and the worst possible interpretation! That was not the case in the story, they genuinely accepted him for who he was in the end, his nose became secondary after they were all proven wrong! Our special talents make us assets to our communities, our friends and families. To be able to give something great to the people we care about is a blessing not a curse that can be taken advantage of and leeched off of by others! Rudolph had his special talent, the message to the viewer is then, what is your gift to the world? Telling isn’t it, how the Left just loves to make everyone into an oppressed victim!

People, candy canes are just candy canes. Red and green does not scream “Christian theocracy”. Holiday music is not setting the tune of “If you’re not a Christian, you’re not included”. “Baby it’s Cold Outside” is NOT about coercing a woman to rape her, nor does “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” have anything to do with race! Generic (historically pagan) Christmas trees, wreathes, and mistletoe are not shoving Jesus down everyone’s throat. Coffee cups that have holly, green, red, and snowy scenes on them are not denominational whatsoever. A school holiday musical is cute, not discriminatory. Making ornaments, wreathes, snowmen in school are fun memories to look back on, not painful ones to retell in therapy. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is about acceptance, not exploitation. The holiday season is a magical time that everyone can make fun and lasting memories of, no matter what you celebrate! The “reason for the season” is yours to decide what is most meaningful to you, religious or otherwise! For me, it’s about the warmth of family and friends, and making more great memories with the ones I love and cherish! Whatever your personal reasons are though, being triggered by every innocent and innocuous thing is NOT a good reason for the season! 😉

(Oh, wait, I said “family”, I hope you’re not too triggered as this is the era of the broken home and divorce 😉 Oh well, Happy whatever-you-celebrate!…)

Agreeing to Disagree: A Lost Art Part II

In the second half, I propose some ideas and strategies to help facilitate a more peaceful way to debate, and to get along over the holidays, and honestly, any time of the year 😉

Really Listen to What The Other Person is Saying

As said in the part I, really make the effort to see why they hold the views they doIt’s not because they want to sound like an ignoramus and don’t care if their idea is immoral or foolish! People often have heartfelt reasons, aside from the virtue signalers, for their opinions and beliefs. Maybe they had a bad (or good) experience related to the issue (ex. “My brother was mistaken for a criminal….”, “I’ve known many awesome Syrian refugees through my charity work…”). This doesn’t mean their views are correct, but one can appreciate better where they’re coming from and why they hold them.

Criticize the Ideas, Not The Person Holding Them

Ad-hominem attacks get you nowhere! They prove nothing, and only create more tension, division, and a resolve to not listen to your points! Screaming “Well, you’re a racist bigot!” will not convince Uncle Steve to change his mind about welfare policies… Supplying statistics to the contrary, or citing sources for your side of the argument however, will get you much farther. You can pummel an idea into the ground all you want, but the person holding them still deserves common courtesy and respect.

Consider Their Points, Don’t Just React

A knee jerk reaction does nothing for you either! Letting emotion cloud your rational mind weakens you tenfold in any debate! Don’t virtue signal some superficial slogan, actually consider what they’re really saying, not just your automatic straw-man of what they’re saying… 😉 (Ex. Shouting “No one is illegal!!!” When the person meant one’s immigration status, NOT one’s humanity!)….

Never Cross The Line Into Insults or Threats!

This one is a must! Ad hominem attacks, again, get you no where and will only get you an enemy! In addition however, actually threatening people crosses so many lines! People should not be afraid to voice their opinion due to fears of violence, ostracism, lost jobs, etc..etc… People don’t deserve to have their families terrified, their reputations smeared, or vile insults hurled at them or again, their families due to disagreements! And yes, even their children attacked! How would YOU feel if it were you and your family??? If you don’t stand up for others being attacked, then who will stand up for you when your opinions are targeted?…

Pick Your Battles

Sometimes, it’s okay to agree to disagree… Not every issue is worth getting into a deep debate about and drain your energy! Not every comment at dinner you want to refute has to be 😉 Save the debate for issues that really matter to you, comments that really get to you, not just irk you a little. Don’t be a snowflake offended perpetually and having to start a fight to “correct” those who “trigger” you with their “microaggressions”! Save the righteous indignation for a better time, a better occasion than Grandma’s dinner, or your friends’ hangout, hold your tongue at the work New Year’s party etc…etc… Just let the loonies rant away, while you remain classy and diplomatic!

Don’t Bring It Up!!!

There’s a time and place for politics and religion! A mixed gathering often isn’t the time! The debate team, a blog, activism, in the classroom on the subject, around like minded people, and such can be 🙂 Work, that party, the holidays and other family events… not so much! No matter what sides we’re on ideologically, I hope it’s a non partisan thing to say we should try to find common ground with people and learn to get along and allow many viewpoints! The real “diversity” we need to advocate for, is diversity of thought!

I hope this list helps, and please, add your own ideas, experiences etc… in the comments! 🙂

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(Finding common ground is a pro tip!!!)