My Womanhood is NOT Your Costume…

Transgenderism is a hot and contentious topic for the Left, with many angles at play! The part I want to focus on in all this lunacy though, is on the premise the Left has put out in that since gender is a mere social construct, it justifies the legitimacy of recognizing transgender people, especially women, as being entitled to be treated as if they were actual biological women (or men, but I’ll focus on women for the scope of this article)! Their argument is that gender is a social construct, something society raises you to be, rather than an innate quality. They further add the confusion that the undeniable biological aspect is now written off as its own separate thing as one’s “sex”, but “gender” is the purely social aspect, such as wearing certain clothing, or liking certain things over others. In essence, it really comes down to a nature vs. nurture debate, and how fluid these concepts really are.

Now, I will say up front, I don’t think that many people who label themselves transgender are being insincere or that they just want to be say, a woman on a superficial whim. I think many truly do feel they were born in the wrong body, and have sympathy for how much that must hurt and how utterly confusing that must be. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone! However, society deciding that this is normal for a person to feel about themselves is absurd, not just a normal biological variation! I also argue that the idea of “gender as a social construct” brings with it many detrimental and frankly insulting implications that many take for granted and completely overlook!

First off though, what are we really saying when we say that? It’s not just a neutral statement of a proposed fact. No! It’s the logical flaw that by implying it’s not a natural trait, and it’s not innate, it doesn’t matter at all. The real idea behind this is that gender should be obsolete, and because it’s not something we consider natural anymore, it’s completely outdated and irrelevant! What we really mean by “gender is a social construct” is that “gender is something artificially imposed and needs to be gotten rid of”.  That statement is loaded, and carries a very heavy value judgement! If it were natural, in Left’s mind, they couldn’t undermine and de-legitimize it as easily..

But, you know what also is a “social construct”? Race! That’s right, the Left now says race too is not grounded in biology, but in society’s whims! However, can we be trans-racial??? Heck no! Just ask that woman who was ousted for being biologically white, but identified as black! If a white person tries to do so, they are automatically being racist, and appropriating someone’s race! One may argue, “but racial differences are very obvious, so you’d know someone cannot be another race…” but don’t men and women look different? And not just clothes, make up and hair! Men grow beards, women don’t. Men’s bodies are bigger, stockier, stronger, differently shaped. Not to mention what’s down below! 😉 Humans after all, are a sexually dimorphic species! The argument against racial appropriation by the Left, that especially if white, you can’t just wear say, a black person’s styles, appropriate their music, their traditions, their food, their heritage and claim you’re one of them, is based on the idea that you haven’t been through their struggles. You want the “fun” aspects of being them, but you haven’t faced their hardships. Haven’t faced their struggles, their obstacles, and to add insult to injury, you’re part of why they have those struggles. Yet, you want to claim their unique heritage as your own??? The nerve!

Well, guess what? This should apply to gender too! If what the Left says is true, about women being disadvantaged, then what gives a man the right to appropriate what belongs to women? If women are living in fear of being assaulted by men, raped by men, paid less than men, devalued as lesser, then why on Earth should a man get to appropriate their unique heritage, in other words, as women? If it is true, as many Leftists believe, that men have male privilege, just like whites have white privilege, then isn’t it privilege to be able to just pick and choose to express one’s self as the female gender but have the option of going back to being a man when convenient? It’s just like a white person wearing blackface! They can take off the color at the end of the day. A person of color has to live with it, and the stigma it allegedly brings. Well same for gender! A guy can take off the dress, the heels, the make up, shave his head again. A woman, however, cannot just transform into a man and all her troubles will go away! She cannot take off her “costume” so she won’t be assaulted, raped, paid less, devalued. She has to live with the struggles too, not just the perks. The man in the dress can punch the attacker, throw off the rapist, while she is helpless to throw off someone twice her strength! Even if he decides to never live as a man again, he still can get the upper hand with his physically stronger body! Also, in line with the Left’s concept of privilege, isn’t it a form of privilege to be able to just throw away your privilege??? A man choosing to be a woman gives up his “male privilege” and swapping it for vulnerability and scorn. However, as “oppressed” as he then makes himself, he chose to take on that. A real woman didn’t. She was born with the fact she would have far greater chances of being assaulted, raped, devalued. She does not have the luxury to throw away privilege wantonly, nor gain it by becoming a man!

No. It’s NOT a two way street. Transgender men are not just “one of the guys”. They do not have extra “privilege”. However, a transgender woman now must be treated as a full woman by Leftist decree! Even if he genuinely feels like he wants to live his life as a woman and never go back, he can. That’s the thing. And that he had the choice to give up his “privilege” of being a man in the Left’s allegedly “patriarchal” society. Real women never have those luxuries. Just like a white person can impersonate, and maybe even genuinely feel like a black person, but has the choice to go back to being white and on top, to take off the “costume”. If a guy wanting to be a girl wants to wear the pretty dresses, the heels, curl his hair, go to the girl’s nights as one of the girls, hang at the mall, do all the fun things women like to do, he should also have had to face her struggles. To be afraid to walk alone at night. To carry pepper spray. To know the fear of being harassed on the street. To be held back on the job. Underestimated, viewed as weak, a victim. Why should someone get to reap in the rewards, without having to go through the struggles? Do I believe the world is really so bleak for women? Not as much as the Left certainly does! But by the Left’s own logic and views on women being oppressed, this is a logical argument…

Also, and less obvious, is a quite insulting implication inherent in this argument: That womanhood, as a social construct, is merely just a superficial costume that anyone can put on… The idea that all womanhood really is, is putting on a dress and heels and make up, styling your hair, and doing “girly things”. As long as you do those, you’re a woman! However, I and many other women would disagree! There’s so much more than superficial looks or going through the motions involved in the intangible parts of womanhood.  The sisterhood all women share together in their deep experiences, and very natures runs far deeper than our make up, our heels, or dresses and hair. Liking shopping and fashion and traditional womanly things is not all there is to our very essence, our unique humanity as women. See, also like one’s race, one’s sex does indeed affect how you perceive the world, and how the world perceives you. Women do not have the same upbringing, the same experiences as men, not because there’s a mass conspiracy that half of humanity wants to oppress us, but because of the simple fact we are NOT men!

Our trillion or so cells speak the plain and simple truth: we are different in our very core. Study after study shows girls consistently play in a more nurturing way than boys. We evolved to nurture, to be more gentle, to be social. We evolved to be the child bearers, and experience the wonders of motherhood, which no man will ever experience. Even the Left acknowledges this in its anti-man “you can never have an opinion on women’s issues because you aren’t a woman!”. See? Even they know, deep down men and women are innately different! That our experiences differ. Our challenges differ. Our womanhood runs far deeper than any costume, any “social construct”, yet, the Left argues implicitly in the idea that a man can put on a dress, heels, inject some hormones, that he can be a woman through superficial behaviors alone, that womanhood is just an actor’s role to play and our feminine style a mere “costume” that can be taken on and off. Oh, and by the way, doesn’t the use of hormones help point to our biological differences too??? 😉  One can’t say hormones our bodies we’re genetically programmed to release upon puberty that make us different are a “social construct”!

Ladies, we are NOT just a costume that anyone can just put on and pretend to be! Our womanhood, our shared experiences, our challenges, the deep bond rooted in womanhood we share with our mothers from day 1 cannot be replicated in someone who is biologically, and socially, raised as a man! Even those who were raised to be men from infancy, but were biological women always felt “different” and not like just another “guy”… Same for girls who were guys inside… To say that womanhood is something anyone can be on a whim, on a feeling, is gravely belittling and insulting to women everywhere! It’s like a woman saying she can just experience every aspect of manhood, without his struggles, his upbringing, his innate nature.

Yes, I know people literally feel they were born in the wrong body, a woman’s soul/mind in a man’s body, but if you were raised as a man, are biologically a man, then no you can’t truly feel like a true woman, know what it is to be one, anymore than one can truly, intrinsically perceive the world like someone who’s a native speaker of a language can versus someone who happens to speak it fluently but was not raised from day 1, in the culture of the speaker! Yes, you can learn a language quite well, but you can never truly perceive the world and be a native speaker within their cultural matrix and have their exact perception of the world though their native tongue. That’s my analogy for experiencing the opposite sex’s world… You can play the part well, but you cannot truly be the real deal unless you are!

Look, I don’t demonize transgender people for wanting to be the other sex. What I do heavily criticize though, is the idea that they can be the exact same, and be entitled to the exact same treatment as a real woman in this case, because they never truly can be. And they know that themselves! Indeed! No matter how much they “transition”, they know in their heart of hearts they are not a woman in the same way as real biological women! They can come mighty close, even look like a woman, sound like one, like in the case of Jazz Jennings, maybe you can’t even tell just by looking. But do you honestly feel “women” like “her” truly, honestly, and 100% believe they are indeed women in every single sense of the word??? I’m not out to say she needs to switch back, or she’s out to hurt anyone personally. She’s probably just trying to genuinely live out “her” life as a woman.

However, she and the others set a precedent where society devalues our essence, our very humanity as women that only a real, biological woman can ever truly know. The inherent sexism in the idea that men can just be women upon their choice devalues our womanhood into a superficial acting job! If a person’s race is not your costume, a person’s culture is not your costume, why should a person’s gender or sex be someone else’s to appropriate? This is heresy for the Left to say, but I will say it loud and clear guys, : My womanhood is NOT your costume! 

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An Open Letter to The Every Day Liberal…

*The original term used to address the Left wasn’t as neutral as I wanted it to be for the tone of my letter, so I changed it. Thanks Doug in the comments and a few fellow conservative followers for pointing that out. (Yes, I will admit to and fix what I believe to be my mistakes…) In the spirit of what I’m trying to say, I hope this edit helps a bit. Mea culpa 😉 If you are reading it for the first time, never mind…

Dear every day Liberal,

Yes you. The average Joe or Jane on the street. My fellow classmates, co-workers, professors, friends, family members. The ones I eat lunch with, work with on projects, hang out after work with, are at my dinner table during the holidays, at my birthday party, who taught me new things in class and who I shared ideas with outside of class. This isn’t addressed to the corrupt hypocritical Lefty politicians in Washington, or Soros, or the multitude of the insane Lefties on the news every night. This isn’t addressed to you, Obama, or Clinton, or Warren, or Cortez or any of the other nutcases! This is addressed to the average guy and girl I see everyday on the street, and are a part of my life:

You’re quite a paradox in my mind. The Left is the party of much intolerance and hypocrisy. Black and white thinking, doing what feels good over what is good, living in “your reality” versus the reality. Crying #MeToo wearing pussy hats, or climbing statues in protest. Hating the guns or the walls which protect us, and the country and culture that made us so great, and the dream of the world. Denying the reality of a generation of broken homes, or applauding promiscuity while denigrating marriage. Attacking a man who provides and protects the weak, calling it “toxic” while saying you’re against sexism while telling women they have to be like men to be worth anything as a human being. Demanding the world owes you handouts for victimization done generations ago, to dictating what words we can use in case we offend someone. And so on and so on…

That said, many of my Liberal peers and professors have been truly kind and accepting people in real life. Far from the raging protester at the rallies on the news, they’ve been the ones to say “hi” to me and let me hang out with them. You’re the one who sat with me at lunch that day in high school when you saw me alone and built a friendship with me. You’re the one who comforted me when I went through some personal troubles. You’re the one who lets me take pictures with you and your friend group at events. You’re the one I could talk to after class on a multitude of academic topics, and appreciated my insights in the classroom. You’re the one that “got” that reference I hinted at in a joke because like me, you know the science or history I was referring to. You’re the one who listened at least partially with an open mind to my challenge of your view in class. You’re the one at the table during the holidays, or the one who spends time with me, as your niece, cousin, grandchild, and such, and loves me unconditionally as family. You’re genuinely a kind, loving person who can make an awesome loyal friend, wonderful teacher or devoted family member.

However, you still believe, at least moderately, in the #MeToo movement, social justice, reparations for victimhood, the idea that white privilege is a thing, guns are bad, walls are bad, our president is a racist, sexist, and should be impeached, illegals are our responsibility to look after, “acceptance” means no criticism or critique of any group (unless of course, they’re conservative), manhood is “toxic”, and to believe in “your truth”. So, how can what seemingly sounds like a Jekyll and Hyde situation be compatible in one person? Seemingly intolerant and radical on one hand, yet a good friend, kind person, good professor or loving family member on the other? I think I found one possible answer:

You are on the Left because of your kindness… Now, with all the before mentioned, how on Earth is that possible, when the Left so far has been far from kind! Thing is, I think you see your Left leaning views as an extension of your kindness. I know you to be a kind, genuinely accepting person. Someone who wants to treat everyone according to the Golden Rule. Who doesn’t want to be an exclusionary bully. Make people feel bad. Turn people in need away. Who is selfless and gives yourself to others at every opportunity. And most importantly, have been taught for years the Left is the party of kindness, tolerance, acceptance and open mindedness. To you, the Left is the way forward out of the dark days of racism, sexism and discrimination. You’re not the politicians in Washington who know they’re gaming the system and are being selfish, or the true radicalized Lefty with a genuine hatred for anyone except people like you. You earnestly feel most likely, that the Left’s politicians are making true change for the better. You’re just an average person, trying to do the right thing, and the Left has told you if you’re a kind accepting person, they’re the party for you!

Trouble is, despite this, I’m still afraid if you knew I was conservative you’d shun me. No, you don’t know my politics in real life. I deliberately stay away from talking about it openly in fear of ostracism and discrimination. Now, I know my readers are thinking, “Well some friends! They’re not so tolerant after all!” But hold on a moment! Consider why some might react so strongly. It may not be due to their conscious desire to discriminate, but because they were taught from day 1 conservatives stand for everything that they don’t like and are the bullies, and who wants to be friends with a nasty old bully? Certainly not me! No one wants to be friends with someone they feel is bigoted, intolerant, closed minded and makes others feel bad! I sure wouldn’t if I thought that about someone. In fact, most kind people would shun that person out of their values of kindness!

Thing is, I and other conservatives are not the “bullies” the Left programmed you to believe! Like you, the average conservative is just a plain old person, who is as kind as you are. We want equality for all too, just not special treatment. We want to solve society’s issues and fight for what’s fair and just, but we want to follow the facts, even if unflattering or undesirable. We are proud of our country and our culture, but not deluded by it. We want to give you the voice that was once stolen from you, but also keep ours too without being accused of silencing you yet again. We treat everyone who comes in our doors and in our country with the respect and dignity entitled to human beings. We will fight by your side for any denied rights, but we don’t want to take responsibility for justices we never personally committed against you either. We value both men and women, but understand equal does not have to mean identical. We joke around, sometimes off color jokes too, and don’t say “PC” words, but that doesn’t mean we truly believe in hurtful messages and would feel awful if we truly hurt someone we cared about. We want to help others less fortunate with our kindness, but we also want to determine who is worthy of such kindness, and our limited resources. Yes, some people do mistake kindness for weakness and will take advantage! If you give kindness, you should also get kindness back.

We too will be your friends, co-workers, teachers, loving family members, and include you too. Think of it: If I were so “intolerant” as you might think if you were to know my true political opinions, why would I still hang out with you? Be your friend? Or enjoy your knowledge and what you can teach me in class instead of dismissing you as a “snowflake” with nothing to offer me academically? Or why would I be open to bonding with you when you come to visit during family gatherings if I truly were the “bully” the Left brainwashed you to believe!

Instead of only seeing our political affiliations when we hang out the next time, why don’t we see each other as multi dimensional people and our politics only one side of our many sides? Let’s talk about our goals and dreams. Maybe even our ideas about the world and society with open minds to our differences as well as our agreements. Maybe one day, we can have a hearty debate then shake hands after 🙂 I hope one day I can come out of my own “conservative closet” and you’d give me the same open mindedness and acceptance you give others. One day, I hope you see me as the nuanced multidimensional person I am, just as I am trying harder to see you as too. We have our politics, but they don’t define all we are as people. I don’t want to be a puppet on a string, or a sheeple for some higher ups pushing an agenda telling me to revile those who think differently than I, do you? So dear every day Liberals, let’s forget the labels and just be friends.


—A Lady of Reason, and fellow human being…

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Saving Yourself for Marriage: It’s Not Just for the Ladies…

I advocate for waiting until marriage to have sex and practicing abstinence as it is about the only 100% effective birth control 😉 The dangers of promiscuity are rife, and include STD’s unwanted pregnancies and not to mention, a damaged reputation! Sleeping around has real and lasting consequences. It’s not just theoretical fluff made to scare you in middle school health class! From seedy people, to getting into a mess of who gave whom that nasty rash, to “who’s its daddy?”, the dangers of promiscuous sex are rife! It makes sense that sex has been linked to morality throughout history, as the consequences are steep if not done carefully and with great consideration of who you choose and when you choose to. However, a large criticism of the topic of the heavy risks of promiscuity is that it’s mainly, unfairly that is, geared towards women but not men. The feminists say that men get a free pass often times, and can be “players” and use promiscuity as a status symbol, while women are expected to reign in her sexuality and not be promiscuous like men can. While there is truth in this allegation, I argued before that women should be more guarded and cautious about their sexual appetite as women do in fact, have a lot more to lose such as an unwanted pregnancy! Never the less, my main point now is, it’s not just the ladies who need to be careful and avoid promiscuity!

Yes, men face less risks that women do in regards to unbridled sex. Less stigma, danger of meeting the wrong people who could hurt them, and no unwanted pregnancy! However guys, the coin has two sides 😉 You can get a girl pregnant and have to pay child support for the next 18 years! She can say you’re the dad and smear your reputation along with hers. You may avoid being raped forcibly or beaten up by a bad guy, but beware the wrath of an angry father who thinks you corrupted “his little girl”! STD’s don’t discriminate between sexes at all. She has it, you got it! Being a “player” may sound cool to your buddies, but no respectable girl worthy of a stable marriage and family life will want to marry a guy who plays around! To get a lady, you must be a gentleman. Players attract cheap girls who will do it with anyone, not suitable wives and mothers of your future children! The “fun gal” wears off by the next morning. Better to wait for your forever wife 🙂

If none of this persuades you, consider the immense legal risks of playing the field with every girl you see! Let’s say you’re in college… You go to a party, want to have a little fun tonight, meet some hot girls. Ooh! That girl across the room is a 10! Your buddies encourage you to make a move. She likes you, and pretty soon, we all know where this is going next… Fast forward to the next morning. She’s gone. You get an angry text from your parents. What’s going on? Turns out her parents contacted yours and threatened to press charges in court for statutory rape! What??? But how? She basically jumped on me! Turns out she wasn’t 18 yet. She was the 16 year old sister on the college tour staying for the weekend with her older sister in college. But, she looks like she’s 20! She didn’t act like she was only 16 years old… She sounded like a fellow college girl! But here you are, facing potential charges in court for statutory rape because her daddy thinks you corrupted his “sweet 16” naive, innocent little angel!

Yes guys, this scenario plays out all the time! You could be the guy who would never dream of taking advantage of an underage girl, but easily mistake a well developed and mature sounding 16 year old for an 18 year old! I mean, honestly, let’s all take off our PC hats and say it out right: 16 and 18 are NOT that different! Two years. That’s all it can be between consensual sex and a criminal act with the law set at that arbitrary number. Even 17 a few months shy of 18 is still considered a minor, incapable of consent! And yes, girls do lie…. Take this example! Is this fair? Not really when you think of it. Are honest, moral guys just looking for a good time with an appropriately aged consenting partner supposed to demand ID now? How can you ever be 100% sure that young lady is of age or that other girl isn’t! Looks CAN be deceiving. I personally looked younger than my real age, so a guy could have passed me up at 18 but taken the other 16 year old who looked like she was 20! (Thankfully, I was raised to be wiser than to ever be in such a scenario!)

The only 100% “safe” solution is to A: Never choose young looking women as sex partners and only stick to those over 30… (Yes, many older teenagers, 16,17, even 15 in some cases look like they’re in their 20’s) or B: Don’t be a player and want to score every girl you don’t even know and only choose a well known intimate partner who has no secrets from you, a.k.a. a girlfriend or preferably wife! If you play around, it can be like Russian roulette, not only for unwanted pregnancies you have to pay for, angry fathers, STD’s, and decent women not wanting to come within a mile of you, but you could end up in jail, and on a sex offender registry. Trust me. That will ruin your life. Period! NO ONE wants to live near or hire an alleged “sex offender”! Oh, and last point on this topic, even with a steady girlfriend it can be statutory rape!  It happened to a 19 year old who dated a girl only 2 or 3 years younger! Wait until you meet a girl, get to know her and tie the knot!

And another major point and for men of every age! #MeToo hysteria. If you sleep around, it may haunt you even decades later if the girl wants to get back at you for something, be famous, get money or some other gain. Just look at Kavanaugh! He probably didn’t even have sex, but that didn’t stop Christine Ford from smearing him for a month or more! One word from any woman, one who regretted the foolish drunken sex you both had, wants to get out of her daddy being mad at her for getting pregnant even though she freely consented even if you’re both minors, wants to spite you on the job, anything really. Good, decent, honest boys and men who would never even think to take a woman against her will, never say lewd things, never touch her inappropriately, can be smeared in the blink of an eye! Being a private act, it’s just your word vs. hers, and in this society, hers often wins. I hate to say it, but in this society, you are a predator, and she is the victim. Doesn’t matter if you never touched her. Even were in 100 feet of her. In a society now where a little 5 year old is labeled a predator for hugging a teacher, it’s easy to see how every man is seen as a rape waiting to happen by the #MeToo crowd!

While even men who never had sex with a lot of women or were promiscuous are being smeared, not having sex with women you don’t know well even an acquaintance, lessens your risk of being framed and accused. Mike Pence, though being smeared now as misogynist for staying away from being alone with women, has an excellent point. By never putting himself in a position were a woman can say anything unsubstantiated, he drastically lessened his risk for false allegations! Being more guarded around women, and not putting yourself in potentially risky situations such as alone, behind closed doors, and of course, being intimate with women you aren’t intimately close to such as a long term steady girlfriend or wife, is not just about arbitrary morality and prudishness. It can save your butt from being thrown in the slammer 😉 A sad world I know, but this is the reality for men in the era of radical feminism, #MeToo hysteria… Nothing is ever innocent to the left!

Gentlemen: Please wait for just that perfect girl. Wait to be with your wife. Wait to be with the woman you can fully trust, be vulnerable around and still feel safe in that there isn’t a risk of her smearing you later, the woman with whom you shared all your secrets, the woman who is faithful to you alone, the woman who will spend the rest of her life with you, the one woman you want to call “wife”. Girlfriends can come and go, but a woman who honors her vows in marriage to you, and entrusts her body to you in the form of deepest intimacy is about the only truly “safe” woman to be intimate with. Don’t settle for skanks, and “good time gals”. Don’t choose instant gratification and a mountain of risks and liabilities over a lifetime of intimacy with just the perfect girl for you. True love, (and satisfaction 😉 ) waits!

And on a last, but certainly not insignificant note, is think about the girl. Think about the girl who should save herself too for just the right guy. You dally with her, and she too is deprived of giving her future husband one of her greatest gifts. You helped turn her milestone as a woman into a cheap handshake. Be the bigger man. The foolish, naive young girl who thinks a fling would be fun needs guidance, not instant gratification for her curiosity! A real man tells her “no” and that she’s worth more than to give herself away to any guy who asks! Treat her like how you would want your daughter to be treated by a gentleman! A real man waits for a woman ready to give herself to him for life, and honors and protects the integrity of young ladies who have yet to find their one and only 🙂

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Equally Treated : Equally Criticized

Criticism: Everyone gives it, everyone gets it! This has been known to all who have ever had an opinion about anything! Even more benign topics than politics or morality, such as pineapple on pizza, is it gross or tasty? Chocolate or vanilla? Dog lover or cat lover? The list goes on and on in our everyday lives we don’t even think of, nor truly care about if someone happens to have a different idea of what they like. Of course though, when the stakes are a little higher than “what’s for lunch?” disagreements get more heated! From gay rights, to religion, to racial issues, gender issues, foreign policy, etc…etc… issues that will affect countless people other than yourself, disputes on how to handle them provoke far more conflict.

Issues that both sides of the aisle can agree needed change, such as blatant racism, segregation, the oppression of women, intolerance for different lifestyles, religions, etc… that led to violence, threats and out and out bigotry, have been addressed and still are. I think we can all agree it was a good thing to stop segregation, lynch mobs, slavery etc… or stop treating wives and children as property, or letting women reap the rights and duties as citizens of this country too. Or to be more open minded to a changing society and learning about those who are different from ourselves. We’ve come along way from a century ago and many things I’ll admit I’m glad we can leave behind in the history books.

However, there comes a new issue with this newfound freedom many groups now enjoy alongside us: The pendulum swinging too far the other way! See, I don’t mean that in the sense they are too equal and should be put back in a state of disadvantage and inequality again, but in their right and just equality with the traditional “majority”, they feel in order to be our equal, they must become our superior! How is this?

Well, take the issue of criticism. It is true many minority groups feel that if a member of the majority group criticizes any aspect about them, this must mean that the criticizer wants to revoke their equality in this country and set them back a century! Now, in a way, I can get an understanding of why some may feel this way. If you genuinely feel that the group who gave you your equality is bitter and resentful and wants any excuse to find a way to revoke it, then yeah, I can understand that. Or if historically, that group had a voice and you didn’t, you might feel that when today, your former “oppressors” speak up and critique something, it can bring flash backs of that earlier time where you didn’t have a voice to respond.

Trouble is of course, just because you feel a certain way, doesn’t make it true! Just because something “feels” like past oppression, doesn’t mean it is. For one example, a brutally honest critique of a minority group doesn’t always mean that the person making the criticism does it out of hatred or bigotry for that race. It may sound very harsh and uncharitable to hear, but that person may have a valid point. If one says that for example, the Black community is disproportionately affected by crime and has a 75% illegitimacy rate, and this should change to build better communities and families, unless these assertions came out of thin air and are false, it is a valid criticism that needs to be addressed. Just because, say, the person noting this was White, doesn’t mean they say this out of ill will, bigotry and hatred for the black community, anymore than when fellow Black leaders such as Walter Williams and Thomas Sowell say it. No more “racist” than when someone in the Black community wishes to offer a criticism of White people and ask them to address something that they feel needs fixing, such as racial bias…

Or look at Native Americans. Reservations often have similar issues with crime and gangs. Child abuse and alcoholism are rife. So is poverty, and no, it’s not solely “the white man’s fault!”. Does bringing this up beyond blaming white people mean that person hates Indians? Not necessarily! You don’t need to be Native American to see the devastation alcoholism and poverty had affected many of their communities! Perhaps maybe, just maybe, the outsider who raised the issue genuinely wants to help and to do so, must bring it out into the open?

Every society has things that are good, and things that need to be looked at with a critical eye and addressed. Hiding one’s need for change behind labels such as “racist” and making excuses that only your group can ever critique your society when the issues at hand are plain for all to see, lets a blind eye be turned to pressing issues as of course no one likes being criticized and told they need change! If the only people who can criticize you are you, then how honest will you really be with yourself??? Outside 3rd parties help eliminate some internal bias or even just shortsightedness for things an insider may take for granted. An obvious fabrication and lie told about a group is not the same as a proven fact that happens to be unflattering being called out in the open by others. A criticism is not the same as slander!

A slightly different circumstance but related to the idea of being immune from any outside criticism is happening to the gay community. It’s now the law of the land gays have the same civil rights, including a legal marriage here in the United States. In fact, being gay is becoming more and more accepted and less stigmatized. I know plenty of gay people, who are just like you and me, have jobs, go to school, like the same things, and are probably among your friends, classmates, coworkers, your favorite celebrity, etc…  From even a few decades ago, the LGBT community has made immense strides in being socially accepted and are being represented exponentially in the media and in society.

However, this apparently is not enough. Despite all the acceptance as well as gaining the clear legal right they wanted to see happen nationwide, they now demand that no one can ever criticize or disagree with their lifestyle. Look, some people have religious objections to the gay lifestyle. Some find it distasteful in their personal opinion. There is still opposition to gay marriage. And yes, instances of threats and violence and bullying have affected the gay community. Thing is though, there is a vast difference between those who do actual violence and threats towards gay people, and those who in their private opinion, don’t embrace the idea of being gay for religious reasons or otherwise. Many of these people would never threaten a gay family, or do violence against them. Those that do are a very small minority who we can all agree are in the wrong regardless of their opinions!

No one is entitled to force people to like and embrace your choices in life. You have the right under federal law to be gay and to be free from threats and violence as much as any other citizen in this country. What you don’t have the right to however, is to make everyone embrace your choices or else be labeled a “bigot!” and demonized. I personally don’t mind gay people and nor does my family who would love me just as much if I were gay myself. What I do mind though, is the idea that any valid criticism of the gay community, or someone’s personal distaste for the gay lifestyle must be stamped out and compelled to agree with it in the name of “acceptance”. No, not everyone has to “accept” your choices in their personal opinions!

Still don’t understand? Take my own personal example. I’m an atheist, and a “minority” within the conservative community. Some of my fellow religious conservative peers say things about atheism and non-believers I can find too harsh and un-nuanced, such as the idea that my non-belief means I don’t have any real moral code based in anything real. Or that my life is unfulfilled and I must be angry and bitter. Now, I will argue against these assertions about my non-belief, but I will never demand religious people stop criticizing atheists to spare my “delicate feelings”! They have just as much right to their own opinion and criticisms about my lifestyle choice to be an atheist as a fellow atheist. Many religious people may find atheism distasteful, and that’s okay. The beauty of this country is we can all have our own opinions! Now, it crosses a line if they were to threaten me or openly discriminate against me, but again, criticism alone does NOT equal discrimination! I can be a non-believer in this country just as you can be gay, and we both have the legal right to be what we are. What more should we demand??? Anything beyond that to me smacks of entitlement!

To sum all this up in general for everyone, no one is immune from criticism, nor is entitled to be! As a conservative as well, don’t I and many of my fellow patriots know it! 😉 We don’t demand the Left never criticize us. Just don’t threaten us and our families, bar us from jobs, and ostracize us from society. Nor do we seek to stifle the voices of minorities, women, gays, etc… as in the past. We just want to still let our voices be heard alongside yours now. We do want equality for all in this country. But equality means we all can be equally criticized as well as equally heard! And don’t forget of course, of you want to be free from criticism, then don’t feel entitled to hurl it at others, like straight, white cisgendered males for instance! 🙂

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My #WalkAway Story Series: Verna

My #WalkAway Story Series is a bigger and more long term project for A Lady of Reason, and it’s all about YOU! This is your big chance at getting your voice heard and your own story out there! For many closeted conservatives, afraid for our livelihood, social networks, family connections, even physical safety now, being stuck in the closet can be extremely isolating and it’s easy to feel like it’s you against the world sometimes! I certainly feel that way! By sharing our stories collectively, I hope to give a voice to you, my dear readers and followers here on WordPress and Social Media, to show each other camaraderie and that in fact, we’re NOT alone, just in the shadows. Well folks, it’s time to come out of the shadows and into the light! The “silent majority” is at least half of our nation, so you’re not truly alone. Come and hear others, and add your own voice, your own story to the mix, of what it’s like being a conservative in an increasingly Leftist country! Send me an e-mail at or direct message me at @aladyofreason1 on Twitter to add YOUR story!!! 🙂 I’ll send you the standard question list, or you can just write it free form as a narrative…

Tell me about yourself briefly:

I am 52 and married. I am disabled and worked in the insurance industry as an accountant. My husband is a Army vet, who is also disabled. I grew up military, my father was career Army until his forced “disabled retirement” I had 1 sibling who committed suicide at a young age, Drugs got him☹ My mother was 100% Aztec Indian, her mother legally immigrated to the U.S. from Mexico, Mexico City to be exact. My grandfather was White and worked in the Railroads until his retirement. My father was white, and from Kansas city Missouri. None of my grandparents on either side are living and both of my parents have passed, both at the age of 59 😦 . I love my Cats and am your typical “cat lady” I love to crochet, draw, make crafts of all kinds. I love reading and puzzles. I love all animals but I am just partial to cats. I have no other type of animals. I live in rural Texas, east Texas. I do have 2 step daughters that we hardly ever hear from.

When did you become conservative? If you were ever liberal, what made you walk away?

I have always been conservative, but voted Democrat 1 time in the 80’s by mistake. I thought I was voting Republican and didn’t realize I had voted democrat until it was to late 🙂 I think I was brought up conservative, but wasn’t forced to think that way. I don’t even think my parents voted. I loved politics since high school.

Do you feel at all afraid to be openly conservative? If so, how do you cope with being closeted?

I don’t feel I have to hide that I am conservative because of where I live, but we don’t bring attention to ourselves, because some people have homes, cars etc. vandalized

What advice to you have for other conservatives afraid to speak out?

Advice I have for others is to be “true to one’s self” don’t fear who you are… 🙂

Thanks so much Verna! It was great to hear your story, and as always, you’re welcome to write for my blog anytime! We need voices like yours to speak out so the silent majority is no longer silent 😉

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You’re Not Alone: Guest Post by The Re-Farmer

The Re-Farmer is a loyal ally and follower of mine who gave me the honor of writing in her advice for my new “You’re Not Alone” page, where conservatives write a piece of advice to help out their fellow allies! She however, wrote enough deserving its own guest post and is the perfect way for me to proudly present my new page of “You’re Not Alone” words of wisdom and encouragement by many of my loyal followers and fellow conservative allies! Thank you so so much Re-Farmer! 🙂

I’ve enjoyed following Lady of Reason’s blog for a while, now, and have really enjoyed all her posts. It’s so great to encounter this level of intellectual discourse and sober thought – something that is increasingly rare, I’m afraid. So it was quite an honour to be asked if I could give some words of encouragement to closeted conservatives. I know that my own experiences are quite different than others – I’m Canadian, for starters, and grew up on a farm two sticks ahead of the stone ages – but I hope that what I’ve learned in my own life can be helpful to others.

I’m not really a closeted conservative, and have been fortunate enough live in areas where being a conservative was pretty normal. My own views used to be far more to the “left” than they are now, which is odd, considering my own experiences and those of my family should have made the flaws of those views obvious. I guess the words attributed to Churchill are true; if you’re not a liberal at 20, you have no heart. If you’re not a conservative at 40, you have no brain. Plus, I was definitely a product of the school system, even though it wasn’t particularly liberal back then – at least not compared to now.

We have had so much happen to us, especially within the last 5-6 years, that something like a lefty getting upset over my conservative views can’t bother me anymore. They just aren’t at the same level of what we’ve already lived through, and I’ve reached a point in my life where I can no longer be threatened or intimidated into submission. Age has its benefits! In the process, I discovered that the people who are the most threatening and bully-ish in their behaviour are often the most cowardly. They expect you to be cowed into submission, and when you’re not, they can’t handle it. However, instead of backing down, I have found that more and more, they instead become more devious and try to bring you down through whatever system is available to them. It could be the law, or it could be company rules and regulations, or even housing bylaws.

Here are some of the things I’ve found to be the most useful in defending myself.

First and foremost, truth, accuracy, transparency and honesty. This is the strongest foundation to stand on.

Second, constantly educate yourself in what you need to defend and protect yourself. What that is depends on your situation. In my case, for several years, the thing that protected me most was a set of bylaws for where we lived. I learned to love those bylaws! Study relevant laws, company policies – even the dictionary! – etc. They will be used against you, so know what they really say! More than that, use this self-education to know what you are and why you are that thing. If you are a conservative, what does that mean? Why did you become one? Leftists will rewrite definitions to suit their needs (as well as laws, regulations, etc.) and project motivations onto you. Do not let them define what you are. Oh, and make sure to learn Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals. They WILL be used against you.

Third, document everything. Have your phone ready to record things. Have witnesses. Be in public. Take photos and video. Have a dashboard cam. Keep emails. Take screen captures. Journal. As much as possible, make sure the time and date is included. Just as leftists will make up their own definitions, they will make up their own reality. You will be accused of all sorts of things, and having that documentation to prove the truth and defend yourself becomes essential. I started documenting things because we lived so far from family, and I wanted to share our new life with them. That habit ended up saving our butts more than a few times.

And finally, be prepared to defend yourself physically, too. It’s a sad reality, but that is increasingly the world we live in. Take self defense classes, if you can. See what options there are in your area. Maintain situational awareness. Even reading helps; I recommend The Gift of Fear, by Gavin DeBecker, which will help assess real dangers from artificial ones.

I struggle with the idea of people having to hide that they are conservatives. You are not alone! I understand the why of it, and when your career or safety is on the line, I get it. I really do. Sometimes, saying and doing nothing is the best choice. However, in my experience, saying something or standing up against something, as painful as it may be, is the only thing that will stop the problem. Not saying or doing anything serves to validate and strengthen the behaviour, and it will just keep getting worse. I think this is part of why leftism is such a big threat to our society right now. So few have stood up to challenge them for so long, it allowed them to gain power over our lives in a way that is now becoming dangerous. Conservatives tend to have a live-and-let-live attitude, and that has been taken advantage of by leftists. That can only stop if conservatives challenge them. In that, the internet can be a beautiful thing, because it does allow conservatives to stand up to the leftists – shine a light on the harm the are doing, yet still be able to protect themselves and their loved ones through anonymity.

When it comes down to it, we are at war right now. Not so much a physical war, but most definitely a psychological war. A war over to control our very thoughts and feelings. The leftists have significant control over our culture, our media, our legal systems, our education systems, and our work environment. This is a concept Christians should understand well, as we are taught, “For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world-rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places .” (ASV, Ephesians 6:12) As conservatives, sometimes our greatest enemy is our own apathy. We all have our strengths. As much as possible, we need to use them to fight back. If you can write, get your words out there; send letters to editors, politicians, start a blog, write a book, a script, poetry (a young Karol Wojtyla was an underground actor and poet before he became Pope John Paul II and helped bring down communism). Anonymity can be a significant shield, but if you are in a position to act openly, do it! If you can speak, speak boldly. If you are a sword, learn to cut. If you are a shield, shield those who are being targeted.

Leftists have weaponized social media, the arts, education, and even art and entertainment. These are, however, just tools, and tools can be used for good as well as evil. Conservatives can use the same tools. It isn’t easy, to be sure, but there is one thing to remember. You are NOT alone.

Thanks Re-Farmer for your amazing words! You are absolutely right that we must speak for those who cannot, and the silent majority must no longer be silent! I’m deeply honored you chose to write for me, and appreciate your loyal support of my blog, and as a fellow patriot 🙂

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