Inspiration in Conservative Dress: Problems with Prom

Inspiration in Conservative Dress is a reoccurring series of posts of various modest and feminine outfits to inspire other women to dress modestly and resist society’s pressure to dress provocatively and subscribe to “hook up” culture. Through conservative dress, A Lady of Reason sends a message of resistance to the “sexual revolution” and radical liberal feminism, and the upholding of feminine virtue. Arguably, this could also extend to the support for social conservatism in general. How we dress signals who we are in society. I also want to state that this idea is not mine originally, but done on another religious blog called The Catholic Lady. I was inspired by hers to make a secular version for A Lady of Reason. 

Prom season is coming up for many young women around the country going into May and June! I remember my prom vividly. I didn’t go with any date, but it was a special occasion to get all dressed to the nines and do my hair just so and wear a dress that made me feel like a princess! Prom is a special time where you can celebrate the end of High school and look forward to a night of fun and having fun dressing up. Unfortunately for many young women though, prom is an excuse to go crazy and throw away one’s values in doing things like underage drinking, drugs and hook ups. The innocence of what prom is supposed to be is often subverted for more nefarious activities and worry many parents. Some families even go as far as forbidding their children from going due to those reasons, however, one does not need to go to such extremes!

Of course, the whole popular hook up culture associations with prom night doesn’t help much. The expectation of spending the night with your date and “doing it” and losing your virginity on prom night than your wedding night is obviously detrimental, but you don’t have to succumb to the pressure to “do it”. nor do you have to succumb to the pressure to drink so much you’ll forget the entire evening, or go to wild after parties and get in trouble. Many of my classmates during my prom drank and got busted, and had to be picked up early by their parents and missed the whole rest of the night! As with most peer pressure, peer pressure on prom night can be resisted in favor of your true values. One night is not worth the feeling of knowing you weren’t true to yourself and your values.

Another major pressure point for young women is the dress. Many prom dresses are very immodest and skanky, more appropriate for a Vegas showgirl than a high school prom or other classy event! Excessive cutouts, too high slits, plunging necklines and sheer fabrics are just asking for a wardrobe malfunction! There’s nothing wrong with

Illusion Floor Length Sleeveless JVN by Jovani Prom Dress at PromGirl.com
This dress looks more appropriate for a Vegas showgirl or a stripper! Doesn’t leave much to the imagination! I’d be surprised if most schools would even let it in the door!

showing a few curves or a little skin for a formal gown, but there’s a point where it’s too much! A formal event should be classy, not trashy, and the atmosphere of a strip club! Young women being told that they must wear provocative dresses at prom is just another part of hook up culture, and the whole radical feminist movement trying to “liberate” young women with promiscuity! Why not accentuate your beauty with the gown itself, not how much of your body is peeking out if it! The stunning gowns of the Victorian and Edwardian eras, as well as many historical prom dresses are ornate and modest, and focus the attention on a woman’s beauty, not her sexuality. They convey more of a sense of innocence and purity, reflective of a more wholesome society where sex and intimacy are expressed in committed relationships, and not vulgarly flaunted for the viewing public! Ladies of elegance and grace should dress tastefully and modestly, even during formal events. Formality is not an excuse to wear plunging necklines with boobs hanging out and excessive cutouts and up one’s butt mini skirts. Young women at prom should feel like princesses and ladies of elegance and grace in their gowns, not hookers tying to turn out tricks!

Now, many women say that it is extremely hard to find modest prom dresses, except at special stores and online for exorbitant prices. However, many mainstream retailers, like Kohl’s Burlington Coat Factory, JC Penny and Macy’s, for examples do sell modest formal dresses! The trick, to to expand your search. The Juniors department as well as prom stores for teens are often is the main culprit for the immodest prom gowns. If you look in the Women’s section in these stores, you will often find beautiful, yet modest gowns. Many of them, in my experience, are not frumpy, and look stunning! An added plus too, is that many are under $100 on sale, in places like JC Penny and Burlington Coat Factory. Many teen boutiques have dresses ranging in prices from $200 and up to near $1000! Just because all of the other girls are getting those $500 dresses, doesn’t mean you have to succumb to the pressure to buy the most expensive one just to fit in. Try to find the look, without the hefty price. You can get the same style, more modestly, from common retailers for fractions of those prices! Of course too, not all dresses for Juniors are immodest either, you just have to be patient and look around. The prom dress I got for my own prom was from a website for teens called Prom Girl, which has several options for modest prom dresses and great sales! Just because some dresses might be too immodest for your standards, don’t close your mind to the store or website and look some more. They often carry a variety of looks for all different people. Here are some ideas of modest prom dresses from various common retailers:

JC Penny:

One By Eight Short Sleeve Evening Gown Blu Sage 3/4 Sleeve Evening Gown

  Blue Sage Long-Sleeve Lace Formal Gown

Macy’s:

 

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Kohl’s:

My Michelle® Open-Back Lace Long Dress  found at @JCPenney Trixxi Juniors' Sleeveless Beaded Dress

Image result for kohl's women's gowns

Burlington Coat Factory:

Juniors+Embellished+Ball+Gown Jeweled Lace Gown - Jr.

Prom Girl:

A-Line Tulle High Neck Long Prom Dress Long Blush Pink Sleeveless Prom Dress with Jewels at PromGirl.com

High Neck Teal A-Line Dress with Beaded Top at PromGirl.com Long Mermaid Style Dress with Sequin Accents at PromGirl.com

Other Retailers:

Primavera Couture - REGAL SEQUINED LONG SLEEVES BATEAU SHEATH GOWN 1747 Maci

Related image Colette CLM18333 Modest Prom

Bonus: My own prom dress!

You don’t need to splurge a lot of money on an elegant, modest prom dress, nor do you have to compromise your standards! There are plenty of elegant, tasteful gowns out there that show you are a lady of elegance and grace!

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When it Comes to School Shootings, Why Must Conservative Voices be “Shot Down”?

The Parkland shooting and many others that came before it has been on everyone’s minds lately. School and workplace shootings have become a sad reality in today’s society, and everyone is on edge. Was that just a balloon popping, or a gunshot? A car backfiring, a pane of glass falling, an unfamiliar face? We don’t think to look twice now just in case the our worst nightmare comes true. Now, people going out to eat, to the movies, to a concert, to church, to school, are all aware that could be their last outing. Safety is not a guarantee, never was, but certainly not now. Names like Columbine, Virginia Tech, Sandy Hook, to name some big ones, and now Parkland and Maryland now live in infamy and in the shadow of their tragic day. The obvious question is “what can we do to stop these tragedies?”. The Parkland shooting has become historical in that it spurred a new movement with more vigor and more attention with the nationwide school walkouts and the March for Our Lives rally in Washington DC. Their rallying cry was to do more than “thoughts and prayers”, then repeat when the next tragedy inevitably hits, but “policy and change” in hopes of preventing the next one.

On the surface, their goal is amicable. Why just sit around praying for some “divine” intervention or whatnot from Washington when one can help be the change and take action with our nation’s leaders to address the issue of school shootings. Why not draw more attention to school shootings than be complicit in the blasé  attitude of “oh, just another tragedy, ho hum…” It is a shame we have become so desensitized to mass violence, because it seems to happen every week! One would also think it is a very good thing the nation’s youth are a huge force in the movement, as it shows that it’s not just old middle aged policy makers who have a voice in our country. However, everything is not as simple as it seems.

If the March for Our Lives movement and that nation wide walkout were simply about raising awareness of school shootings and bringing to light the deep and complex conversations needed to think clearly on preventing the next one, then I wouldn’t have any qualms about joining in too. However, there is a huge part of the movement I cannot go behind and join in: the rampant Liberalism. I’m not saying just because liberals created the movement it automatically makes it invalid and that I must only listen to conservatives 100% and be in an ideological vacuum! No, the problem with the movement is that it is extremely one sided, and is anti-gun and demonizes the NRA. Their only solution is to place heavy restrictions and bans on firearms, affecting many responsible gun owners who use their guns for hobbies or self defense. Anyone saying differently is branded as a redneck ignoramus, or insensitive to gun violence and therefore demonized! The March for Our Lives movement is not a bipartisan organization, it’s not simply to honor the memory of the seventeen victims of the Parkland shooting. What it really is, is extremely liberal propaganda against any firearms and the NRA.

The issue of gun violence should transcend petty political feuds. School shootings affect conservatives and their children just as much as the liberals! We need to come together as a nation to address real solutions, not bicker in petty power struggles over who’s on the “right” side! The movement spurred by Parkland only succeeded so far in dividing the nation further, with its anti-Trump, anti-gun and anti-NRA rhetoric as the only solution to gun violence! Conservatives like myself who also wish to end gun violence feel alienated and cast out from the movement, as our solutions are portrayed as foolish and ignorant to the real solutions, the liberal solutions! Conservatives say arming teachers to protect students from the next shooter is a way to deter more shootings, but of course, the liberals think it’s ridiculous and ignorant. It’s an opinion that could only be held by die-hard NRA propagandists and rednecks! All they see is chaos and disorder, as if trained people who are taught properly how to handle guns and have had vast experience would somehow act like a buffoon once in school! That idea got “shot down” so to speak, so we proposed having security in school that are armed and even more trained in firearm usage. The reasoned response: get hysterical and accuse conservatives of draining funds away from education and putting schools under martial law!

Then not long after Parkland, there was a shooting in Maryland. Another horrific day, another school full of innocent people. However, there as a twist in this tale! Unlike the Parkland shooting, where the security guard stood outside as seventeen students got massacred, the security guard in Maryland responded within minutes and shot the shooter dead. Two victims died. Two. Not seventeen. Within minutes, the situation was contained. If I had doubts about the March for Our Lives movement before, they solidified then. You see, now there was concrete evidence a conservative solution worked. The security guard with the (gasp!) gun, contained the situation within minutes and there were drastically less fatalities. Two is still too many, but one must admit, better than seventeen. Even the extremely liberal media had to acknowledge the heroism of that brave security guard who did his duty and protected the school. Of course, CNN still did a pitiful attempt at twisting the story around to be consistent with the liberal agenda:

Gaskill’s actions were praised, rightly, across social media. But some — most notably, the NRA — held him up as an example of the “good guy with a gun” theory. The theory goes, that bad guys will always find a way to circumvent whatever gun laws are in place. And “to stop a bad guy with a gun,” as NRA head Wayne Lapierre said, “it takes a good guy with a gun.” (Lone Resource Officer’s Quick Action Stopped the Maryland School Shooter Within Seconds) CNN

So, they take a story that was supposed to commend the heroism of that brave guard, and twist it into an anti-NRA message that the NRA is pushing a false “good guy with a gun” agenda. But, wait a minute! Isn’t that what happened? A good guy with a gun saved the day! CNN and other liberal news sites couldn’t ignore the glaring evidence against their anti-gun thesis, so they are now grasping at straws to undermine a solution of ours that worked! All I can say is perhaps if there was a “good guy with a gun” beforehand, students across the nation would have walked out for two minutes, not seventeen.

It is quite clear, the March for Our Lives movement does not welcome conservative voices in the discussion to end school shootings and other gun violence. If you are pro-second amendment, an NRA member or supporter, or simply disagree with their virulent anti-Trump, anti-gun rhetoric of denial instead of defense, the Parkland movement is not for you. Of course I want to end school shootings as much as any liberal, why do you think other conservatives are speaking out too? We all want our children safe in school, for it to be safe to go out in the word without the ever present fear of mass violence. We as much as the liberals do, want a safer, happier, more just world. People like my family and I just think that we also need to face reality. As distasteful as it is, often might does make right. The person with the gun will not be stopped with a stern voice. If you don’t fight back, he will mow everyone down like lambs to slaughter. Why do you think the Parkland shooter managed to kill seventeen people, while the Maryland shooter only got as far as two? Here’s a hint: which one used a gun? Armed teachers and extra security are not ideal for what our schools should look like, but it is the sad reality we must all face until we can come together to make changes and address issues together as a nation, not on one side of the political aisle or the other.

Another point as well goes beyond guns. The March for Our Lives movement is not solely the creation of the millennial generation! Militant liberal groups have funded them behind the scenes, just like the Women’s March who want to push their own agenda aside from gun control. The March for Our Lives movement, I argue, is not so innocent. They exploited the Parkland tragedy and the seventeen lives lost, and the survivors, using them as propaganda tools for their own liberal anti-gun, anti-NRA and anti-Trump agenda. The national school wide walkout was more about grooming the next generation of snowflake liberals who will be mindless pacifists than honoring the seventeen victims. I think of the irony that they had those seventeen minutes to waste that day on liberal propaganda because no one came to those victims’ defense, unlike in Maryland where we could all have been waiting two minutes, not seventeen had there been another gun involved. The most disturbing thing was, it wasn’t just the student’s choice either to walk out. School administrators jumped on the fad and literally goaded students to do it, and of course, everyone fell into group think. I commend any student who stayed inside and followed their own convictions despite the backlash I’m sure they got. This wasn’t simply an exercise in learning about school violence, but one of telling the nation’s students to hate guns, the NRA and Trump. I don’t know about you, but such blatant partisan politics shouldn’t be allowed in school!

All I have to say about the whole fiasco is I weep at the state of society for these rampant school shootings, and want them to stop as much as anyone else. However, solutions conservatives offer are “shot down” ironically, by the anti-gun lobbyists! We have a voice too. We have ideas to help protect innocent lives before more are lost. Do we want more Marylands, or more Parklands in the next inevitable shootings yet to come? Why don’t the liberals let us have a voice too? Deny reality, and it will be more than just ideas getting “shot down” in the near future of our country. Change can start when people open their minds and see the reality of the situation. Awareness is half the battle!

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The Many Faces of Who We Are: On Intersectionality

The radical left has come up with all sorts of esoteric PC liberal jargon that points at the pure lunacy these people have, and the eerie seriousness they take their ideology to be! Words like “transgender”, “cisgender”, “internalized misogyny” ( For women who disagree with the feminist movement, because only a victim of the patriarchy would have a different opinion, right 😉 ), “patriarchy”, “microaggression”, “safe-space”, “triggered”, “bias incident” and many, many more! Most of these terms are laughable, some even barely comprehensible without detailed explanation and context for the more sane generations among us! However, there is one word in which I feel we can acknowledge and apply to ourselves and our identity as conservatives: intersectionality.

The word intersectionality came about in the context of some liberals feeling that they weren’t just oppressed by one facet of their identity, like race for example, but many. For example, a black woman feeling oppressed due to racial discrimination and fighting against it, only to have her male peers of color shun her and devalue her voice solely because she is a woman. In that instance, she is in a way “double oppressed”, by her race, but also her gender, even by members of her same group. Therefore, she would feel that women of color must face prejudice in not one, but two areas of her life and fight both. Add sexuality, religion, disability, gender expression, and so on to make a whole amalgam of oppression! Now, I’m not saying everything liberals with multifaceted identities say is valid in claiming they are “oppressed”, or that it still isn’t laughable when someone asks for a “safe space” or that they were “microagressed”. My point is though, to take away the liberal “I’m oppressed! Give me special privileges!” context of the word and strip it down to a more generic definition. That is, for our purposes, intersectionality means having a multifaceted identity.

The deal is, conservatives face issues of intersectionality as well, not just liberals, and do in fact, face discrimination because of parts of their identity. For example, the main image many conjure up as the stereotypical conservative is the standard white, Christian, straight, Republican, able bodied, cisgendered male in his 50’s and over. However, many conservatives including myself do not fit into that neat little mold, yet nevertheless choose to identify as conservative. There are black conservatives like Walter Williams, a brilliant and insightful man. There are indeed gay conservatives, who prove not all conservatives are “anti-gay” and believe that their sexuality should have nothing to do with their politics. Not all conservatives are Republican. Some, like my Uncle are independent, some are Libertarian, for instance. Some conservatives do have disabilities. Others come from other faiths than Evangelical Christianity, or no faith at all. Not everyone is conservative because their god told them to be! Many conservatives are our millennial generation, who see through the liberal brainwashing, just as many radical liberals are in their 50’s and over. There are plenty of women who voted for Trump, and do not buy into the radical feminist agenda and wear pussy hats and call themselves “Nasty Women”. The point is, there is truly no one size fits all mold for what makes a conservative.

However, the liberals like to think conservatives are all just one type of human being to fit their narrative of the “other” while they cry for more recognition of the many dimensions of who they are as people. Just another liberal hypocrisy… When we don’t fit into their little preconceived prejudiced notions, they fight back and declare us “inconsequential” as they feel one part of ourselves means we ought to be liberal! Oh yes, the liberals can be anyone, but apparently not the conservatives! The point is when others outside the stereotypical conservative are known to exist, it contradicts the liberal’s thesis that anyone but white males are oppressed! How do men like Walter Williams, who is black, get to be conservative and call out imperfections and flaws in the black community when he is so oppressed by white privilege? Certainly an intelligent man would realize when he is being discriminated against arbitrarily! How do women, who are oppressed under the patriarchy, vote for Trump, the “sexual predator”, or gays under homophobia, become conservative, or immigrants that are Hispanic but don’t want illegals in the country come to exist? Certainly they are not all stupid, or doormats to oppression and injustice! There must be some reason they decided to take conservative stances. What is a liberal snowflake with an agenda to push to do???

This is why intersectionality matters for us too. If a conservative does have an “oppressed” identity, then liberals who are in their group too will shun them and deem them inconsequential. Race traitors, internalized misogyny, in the case of conservative women, doormats to oppression, etc… These conservatives face more challenges than others to speak out in their own communities as many are overwhelmingly liberal and do not like dissenters of their own kind, as again, it dismantles their “us vs. them” narrative they want to play on. Other identities also work the opposite way. For example, it is easier for me to come down hard and frankly on women’s issues from a conservative viewpoint since I am a woman. A man making the exact same argument would attract far more vitriol. I am considered more of a strange anomaly, but less “evil” than a man who feels the same way, for instance. A black person could criticize aspects of the black community like welfare and ghetto culture with far more leeway than a white person. Our identities intersect and affect as as a whole when we express our opinions and advocate for change. They can help or hinder us in how people perceive us. It is almost paradoxical, an identity can hinder us and make the liberals dismiss us and treat us as traitor or inconsequential, especially to other members of our identity, but conversely can make our voices heard as they are coming from an insider, and not the evil “other”.

Sometimes, our identity might also put us at odds with fellow conservatives! For example, many conservatives are people of faith, mostly Christian. I however, am an atheist and do not look to God for my moral reasoning or judgement on what is right or wrong, beneficial to society or detrimental. Some conservatives feel that being conservative means being religious and secular people are all liberal “anything goes” snowflakes. However, that’s not true in my case! We must also remind our fellow conservatives and ourselves, not to stereotype who we are! A conservative, like a liberal, can be many things, not just one image. I say, welcome all conservatives. Take an ally where you can 🙂 That said, there is far more backlash from liberals, so the rest is for them:

I am a woman, but do not buy into the hook up culture, promiscuity as empowerment, the idea men are patriarchal and oppressive for speaking their minds too and being strong and masculine. I am not a “Nasty Woman” who wears pussy hats and dresses like my nether regions to make a point. I’m not a #metoo hysteric who infantilizes women into little children and succumbs to coercion. I believe in dressing feminine and embracing womanhood, with no man forcing that choice down my throat! I want to be a lady of elegance and grace, the ones our grandparents were instead of vulgar radical feminists! I choose modesty in dress without a man forcing it on me. I choose to wait until marriage instead of hookups like a “liberated” woman. However, I am deemed an inconsequential woman, one victim to internalized misogyny and patriarchal brainwashing instead of a strong woman capable of making up her own mind!

I am an atheist, but don’t believe that traditional virtues are outdated in society. I feel that there is objective evidence for the detrimental effects of hook up culture, promiscuity, XX and XY  based sex determination for humans that correlates with gender expression as the norm, not just another “choice”, decry a society with no accountability and anything goes mentality. “Any family is a real family” propaganda, normalization of divorce and broken homes, sex as a handshake and not a milestone, the value of marriage, and other issues many religious conservatives tackle, but I don’t need God to tell me these things are absurd and wrong. I can just look and see how far our society has fallen.

I am not of European descent, yet have experienced the same “privilege” as my white parents who adopted me as a baby. I have never faced the racial discrimination other races including mine purport is rampant. Just because I have white parents, if I’m living independently or going somewhere on my own, no one knows that fact about me! Why wasn’t I then “oppressed” like others of my kind? I have no “white privilege” on my own all by myself, yet have reaped all the opportunities and benefits of being white! I can also see the lunacy of other minority groups who vie for special privileges saying white people have kept them down, yet I have had all the same privilege as my white family and friends! Sure, I might have had advantages and opportunities others have not in life but I think we can rule out whiteness being one of them! So, there’s no contradiction in me agreeing with my fellow white conservatives. Just because I’m not the same ethnicity, doesn’t mean I have to have a different opinion based on facts and observation! I have seen the struggles whites face against liberal snowflakes in being conservative, and the liberal regime on them, such as giving their money to welfare, and being silenced by liberals based on race, which in my book, is racial discrimination! Just as I am privileged in some ways in my family, I am also oppressed in others the same way they are for being conservative.

I was adopted, but advocate for the nuclear family. My parents were happily married, coming from generations of stable loving marriages and two parent homes. Adoption does not mean I have to jump on the “any family is a real family” bandwagon. Single parent homes, divorced homes, same sex parent homes, stepparents, grandma and grandpa instead of mommy and daddy, other relatives, “guardians” and caregivers, mommy and live in boyfriend, etc… none can be the standard the married two parent home is! As much as we like to delude ourselves into thinking it’s fine and dandy, kids in these homes grow up with issues often landing them in therapy. Men don’t have fathers to turn them into real men, daughters don’t have fathers to guide them to be ladies. Mom #1 and mom #2, or dad #1 and dad #2  cannot give a child what the other parent of the opposite sex could give in raising a child! Grandparents and other relatives cannot replace mom and dad. A child raised in two homes will have divided loyalties and feelings and no stability! Yes, I wasn’t conceived in the traditional way by my parents, but I grew up with all the privileges of the married two parent home and turned out much better than my neurotic, depressed, anxious, suicidal, peers in therapy and have daddy issues. Being adopted did not damage me or give me daddy issues, anxiety, depression, and neurosis. Being adopted had nothing to do with my personal growth in a loving two parent family! I’m not a hypocrite for advocating for the traditional nuclear family, as how they got me is inconsequential compared to how they raised me!

So, those are my identities that are outside the stereotypical conservative box, what are yours? A conservative can be anyone, as long as they think for themselves. Let’s embrace our many identities, without succumbing to identity politics. Identity defines who you are, not what you think! 😉

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