Back to School Time: Some Tips for Conservative Students

It’s back to school season and with it, often comes many challenges for conservative students and their families. From ultra-liberal public school brainwashing, to the elitist liberal colleges, conservative students and their families too, can feel ostracized, left out and silenced. However, there are ways to fight back big and small depending on your comfort level. Some are brave and come out boldly in their conservative views. Others feel it would jeopardize their futures too much and choose more covert methods to stick to their principles. Whatever you’re comfortable with, you must do what’s right for you. I judge no fellow patriot for going 100% out, or keeping it 100% in or choosing a middle ground like myself. After all, the ballot box is where we really get to be heard 😉 Here are some tips though to get you through another school year whether in public school or college:

Choose Your Battles in Voicing Your Opinion

Sometimes, you just have to pick your battles as the old saying goes! You don’t need to out yourself as a conservative on every social or political issue brought up in class. I had a professor who literally ranted about President Trump for 15 minutes in a class totally unrelated to politics! What did I do? Kept my mouth shut as that was not a battle I needed! However, in other cases I was irritated enough I did decide to at least partially share my views. You have to decide carefully when it’s worth the risk of sharing a conservative viewpoint openly in a highly liberal atmosphere. A middle ground is healthy.

Couch it Diplomatically

This is a huge point! It’s not just about being civil, as we always should be, but also about keeping a greater chance of not being ostracized by peers or teachers/professors! If you couch it more diplomatically, and refrain from being super blunt about it, you an have the best of both worlds: Staying true to your beliefs and standing up for them, without potentially alienating yourself from your classmates 🙂 They can also then see that conservatives aren’t so “evil” as they thought! The way I often approach it is to sympathize with at least one part of their argument before debunking it or couch it in terms of it furthering their ultimate goal but from a conservative perspective. Let them know you care as deeply as they do about the issue at hand, but have a different perspective on how to solve it, as many liberals think conservatives are coming from a lack of empathy and callousness.

Always Think “Does This Make Sense?” and Consider the Source

Go with your gut! If it sounds fishy or not making sense, it probably isn’t! Teachers and professors are often very educated and competent, but keep in mind they too were brainwashed by the Left and it can show. They genuinely believe they are teaching the factual thing, but it may not be the actual reality! If they provide sources for their information, consider the source. One professor only cited articles from CNN and other highly liberal news sites, and I’m not kidding, EVERY article was only from ONE perspective in a two sided issue! School should be about learning to think, not learning what to think! Learning for yourself is a lifelong skill you NEED. Sometimes, you are your own best teacher…

It’s Often for the Best Friendship and Politics Don’t Mix

A very important one! Just because you’re a conservative who has integrity and principles doesn’t mean you can’t be social with liberal classmates. I was good friends with several who had politics opposite of mine, but we shared other interests and hobbies and the same core values of kindness and integrity. Politics does not define you 100%. You are a multidimensional person and your political views are one part of who you are. In addition, unlike the radical Left, we don’t hate and demonize and dehumanize people solely for having different opinions! It’s good also to be exposed to opposing viewpoints other than your own as it strengthens your arguments, and may even change your perspective. Understanding does not always mean justifying, so don’t be afraid to understand where a liberal peer is coming from. You can share other sides of yourself with others. Of course, if you are lucky enough to connect with other fellow patriots through campus clubs or simply socializing then go right ahead and embrace your political side!

Always Stay True to Your Beliefs, but Find Clever Ways to Blend in When Needed 😉

This is huge for me! I have integrity and principles in my core beliefs as a conservative and would feel dishonest in falsely expressing leftist views just to blend in. However, sadly, until we gain more power back, the Left has become powerful enough to jeopardize our futures if we get too outspoken. I can’t put myself into a position where I would be blackballed and ostracized socially and professionally. However I also can’t change my core values as a person and a conservative an be a “sellout”. When the two objectives clash, I found some clever ways to do both:

For example, I wrote a liberal sounding essay thesis on a test I did, but I couched it as a presentation of a viewpoint on the subject, but not my viewpoint! You can write papers that sound more leftist, but be careful not to write it in a way that it comes off as your personal view, but present it as a viewpoint that is out there, or better yet, write others have this view then explain what it is while keeping it distant and impersonal. Avoid the first person or stating it as an indisputable fact such as instead of saying “I think”, or even “It is known…”, say “some students/people/(whoever you’re writing about)  think/feel…” for example. That way, you can blend into the ideas of your school, but not lie about your personal opinions or out yourself. After all, accurately presenting the other side’s argument is a valuable skill too!

For Parents: Always Talk to Your Kids About The Big Issues from Your Perspective and Why

If it weren’t for my parents keeping that line of open dialogue about these issues, I may have been yet another brainwashed lefty! I credit them and other conservative role models for shaping my conservative mind and principles. When they talk about the liberal biases they learn in class, counter with your side and make them think about both sides of the issue. Point out censorship and political correctness and impart a message of an open exchange of ideas. And sometimes, you just have to contradict what the teacher says in issues you feel are morally important, (such as your personal values on abortion for one example) and say, “I know you’re being taught this, but it’s flat out wrong…”. However, and this is hard, let your kid explore and form their own opinions even if they are on the other side of yours. They can change their mind later and they need your openness to not be shut out from you and dismiss you as “pale and stale” or ignorant. They need to see that conservatives are levelheaded everyday people and learn that you can love and respect someone you disagree with. We win hearts and minds through common sense and reason, not censorship and “correct” opinions.

Also know while it’s painful sometimes, don’t take it personally. The school system is powerful, from k through 12 to college and many are somewhat a product of their brainwashing over our whole school lives. A family friend’s daughter told her dad he had “white privilege”, dismissing all the adversity he faced, yet it wasn’t her fault and she meant no malice. She was simply brainwashed to believe it was true from school and society and thought it was a plain fact. Hopefully when she gets older, and had adversity and a family of her own, she’ll see reason. Many young people see reason and become more conservative as issues like the economy, immigration, healthcare, safety etc… become more personal to them when they own their own business, have a job, have a family to provide for and protect. Just wait 🙂 Until then though, always share your views and why you believe them!

What are some of your tips on surviving another liberal school year? 

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(Another) White Man’s Burden: The White Savior Complex

Many have probably heard at least vaguely about what is called the “white savior complex”. White people who out of the goodness of their hearts decide to volunteer to do charity work for minority communities or 3rd world countries, or even Western organizations who do charity work are accused of being “white saviors” by the Left. Many on the Left now find fault with their benevolence and personal growth into better human beings due to the perceived paternalistic attitude and history of Western colonialism. Confusing? Here’s one definition:

“The term white savior, sometimes combined with savior complex to write white savior complex, refers to a white person who acts to help non-white people, with the help in some contexts perceived to be self-serving” (Wikipedia).

If that’s a bit too vague, and I tried hard to find a clearer definition but couldn’t, it’s basically the attitude that altruism and benevolent actions such as charity and aid from white people or the West is a form of colonialist paternalism where it implies white people are needed to solve the issues of minorities versus minorities having the independence to solve their own issues on their terms. In essence, white people merely swoop in to “save” minorities and come out the hero and take all the credit in real life and in movies and literature ignoring the perspective of minorities. However, upon further research into the theory, I find their reasoning to have many deep flaws of its own!

On its face it sounds okay. We shouldn’t be paternalistic busy bodies dictating to outsiders they need our help when they in fact, are fine as they are, or can solve their own issues. Nor do I argue in the least we should just show up uninvited and “help” people without their consent and act en loco parentis for the world!

That said, it’s absurd to assume just because charitable people are white, or organizations happen to be from the West, helping minorities and the 3rd world is damaging and racist/colonialist. Perhaps my strongest point is well don’t they need the resources and aid they’re being given? And apparently, it’s not being provided by their own people or country. Proponents of the white savior complex theory argue that by stepping up to help them, it’s an imperialist imposition and strips the people of their dignity and autonomy. An exercise in cultural superiority. Their argument falls apart however, when it is pointed out that food, water, shelter and medical care are basic needs for every human being, and are not culturally biased towards one society!

The cold hard truth is the 3rd world and poverty stricken areas lack all such basic needs to varying levels, leading to higher infant mortality rates, succumbing to easily treatable and preventable diseases, living in squalid housing or none at all, no infrastructure, no clean drinking water, food shortages, famine, corrupt government, tyranny etc…etc… While the West is not perfect, we have what they can only dream of in terms of standards of living. If those countries want better lives for their people, they should accept that help, even if from outsiders.

Of course it’s hard to humble yourself to accept charity, but sometimes, when push comes to shove and your family’s lives are on the line, the bigger person must swallow their ego and accept help in a time of need. What’s more important, food, water, shelter, or your inflated ego? Get back to me when you’re starving, have no home and live in a squalid dangerous place along with your family. The saddest thing is that these countries can’t provide for their own people what we have to step in and provide for them. In that the white savior proponents do have a great point: Why CAN’T these people provide the aid they need for themselves? Why is it being left up to the West?

“But… but what if they don’t want our help? What if they want to be left alone and not have paternalistic meddlers in their village trying to “save” them?” The anti-white savior enforcers ask. Well guess what my answer is: Then we won’t!!! 

You don’t have to accept vaccines that prevent children from dying.

You don’t have to accept hospitals better able to treat you and your loved ones from dying by easily preventable diseases and treatable injuries.

You don’t have to accept clean drinking water.

You don’t have to accept nutritious food.

You don’t have to accept sturdy housing, better infrastructure, education, and a democratic government.

You don’t have to embrace values such as equality for women, children and minorities and live in a democratic society where everyone is at peace, not at war steeped in violence and turmoil.

They are autonomous nations and deserve to make their own choices. We’re not their colonialist babysitters anymore. However, look at where they end up with such attitudes and where Western nations are. If people want to extend the hand of friendship and benevolence in sharing our resources and privilege, why is that such a bad, flawed and racist thing? How is it racist to literally save the lives of millions of people of color? We could just turn our backs and say “Who cares? They’re just brown people in inconsequential countries.” but countless people from the West, including white people, say instead, “They’re humans just like me and I want to give them what all people should deserve to have”. I think plenty of people in such dire straights are deeply grateful that we’re helping their families and communities. Some people would like to be saved from their abusive husbands, families, and governments. If not, don’t forget all the Americans who could use and be grateful for those limited resources! If our help is “too white” for them they don’t have to have it. That simple.

This attitude of it’s racist to help people of color in non Western countries because of imperialism or some lack of autonomy or dignity, or even accusing white people of being self serving in helping others I argue is actually a reflection of how blinded the proponents of the theory of the white savior complex are by their own privilege! How many of these people have lived and experienced the deprivation of the 3rd world first hand? How many have actually taken their assumptions beyond the theoretical framework into how people actually feel when subjected to lack of medical care, starvation, corruption and tyranny?

Pragmatically, which takes precedence? Food, water, shelter and healthcare from anyone who will give it, or some abstract notions of egos and pride? For those absentminded academics who endorse such ideas without ever experiencing or seeing people in such dire circumstances, try researching Maslow’s hierarchy of needs! Then see in which tier self inflated egos go and where food, water and shelter go… It’s simply illogical to think that desperate people wouldn’t accept anything beneficial to help themselves and their families. We are GIVING them the resources as charity out of benevolence!

Not to mention, is it not racist to limit a charitable person from helping those in need because of their skin color? White people are incapable of charity without wanting an ego trip or some self serving purpose? I for one know plenty who would take nothing in return for their altruism including my own family. Is it impossible a white person may want to empower a people to become more autonomous and self sufficient? Is it out of the question a white person could embrace a society and want to help them even at their own deep personal risk and have genuine respect for those they are serving?

Another point to consider is when people are being oppressed, the oppressors won’t listen to them, but might eventually have to if enough people in power speak out. I thought speaking up for those who can’t was a virtue, not a vice. If white people really do have white privilege as it’s often accused by the Left, then wouldn’t it be commendable if more white people used their privilege to help those who don’t have that privilege in society? What about every white abolitionist in our history for one example? Were they being “white saviors”, and if so, was that bad considering the outcome? White people who use their privilege, whether racial or socio-economic to help those in need are using that force for good instead of oppression which could more easily have been done.

Overall, I’d say if you are white, and want to help the less fortunate who happen to not be white, the last thing you should feel is guilt! Go ahead and serve who want your help knowing you’re a better person for it. Kindness doesn’t have a skin color. 

We don’t need this, especially if they don’t want it!

You Do Have a Point, But….

It’s no surprise to many conservatives that the Left likes to attack us with ad hominems, smear us, attack our character, ruin our reputations and chalk us up to being closed minded bigots. Standing by our convictions and being apart from what’s the popular attitude of the moment has cost us friends, networking, even jobs and family connections! Despite being the silent majority, we certainly don’t feel like it! I of course, have had my fair share of observing this too, as I am putting my views out there online in an open forum. And contrary to what many on the Left believe about fellow conservatives and myself, we can attest to not being simply “closed minded bigots” in our motivations for taking a seemingly harsher view on certain issues.

See, what may surprise many liberals who automatically dismiss everything I have to say simply because I support Trump as president, or consider myself a conservative is that my views are actually more nuanced than your cherry picking of them are. Why would that be? Well here’s the surprise:

I think you have valid points too in many of your positions which I do have to acknowlege and take into consideration when I argue my own viewpoint. 

It’s not always a cake walk rebutting every point you make, albeit I will say many are easily refutable too! The reason why we end up on opposite sides of the debate though is because while I do think your basic premise sounds valid on its face, there are nuances that I add that lead me to the conclusion that premise does not extend that far, or there are caveats you need to understand, or maybe, there’s a middle ground between either extreme, and guess what? I DO make these caveats in my articles about various issues, but thus far, I’ve observed very few of my critics directly address them, instead choosing to ignore those for my more extreme views only as if I never made a nuance in my argument. So here are some examples of places where I can see your point too, but why I end up disagreeing with your overall position and the nuances you overlooked when you rebutted me:

I understand the need to keep our leaders accountable and within the law, including Trump. However, making baseless accusations not backed up by facts then never admitting what he does right reflects far more on you than him. Also, why turn a blind eye to accountability within your own party leaders?

I understand the idea of being able to step out of an uncomfortable situation that would bringing up uncomfortable feelings and past trauma. I’ve done it too. However, safe spaces in college for example, only hinder your own personal growth as I realized as I matured, I needed to challenge myself to feel uncomfortable at times to grow intellectually.

I understand that we are a nation of immigrants and others should get the chance our ancestors did too. However I also know that we need to put our current citizens’ needs first before we can extend the hand to others.

On a related note, I really don’t mind immigrants keeping their own cultural heritage, traditions, language, dress, food, music, faith, holidays, etc… in America anymore than I mind Germans hosting Oktoberfest, or the Italian community having Fiesta. However, there’s a difference between being proud of your heritage and keeping cultural traditions alive, and imposing them on others and demanding to be accommodated instead of adapting also to our culture too such as also learning our language and embracing our values of hard work, democracy and equality. It’s NOT an either or choice! You can do BOTH.

I understand the world is not perfect and not every child can be wanted or born into a good situation financially, emotionally and physically. I realize part of respecting the sanctity of life also means the quality of that life matters more than simply being biologically alive. I also realize the mother has rights too including her own right to live. However, the idea that the child has no rights at all and abortion is simply a healthcare choice for the mother’s convenience instead of the weighty ethical decision involving the  termination of a human life is not something I will accept.

I understand we cannot live in fear and paranoia just because of some bad apples out there and forget to be kind and accepting and see the good in people, but we also cannot let our guard down and let a bad apple hurt our country and its citizens.

I understand some have more “privilege” than others they were lucky to be born with, but they cannot control their gender or skin color anymore than you can control your race or gender that may disadvantage you. Making people feel guilty and putting the onus on them to solve your problems is as unfair as asking you to change something you cannot simply because you were born a certain way. Also note, race and gender are not the only things that make someone have “privilege”. A good socioeconomic status and strong support network work wonders…

I understand many transgender people are not bad people, nor do they want to go out and victimize others, but simply want to live how they wish. However, my issue is not with legitimate trans women but those who will use that as an excuse to prey on women in women’s spaces and dominate women’s sports unfairly due to physical strength and endurance exceeding women’s, or my issue is with trans men who insist they are capable of the physical strength of a man but are biological women weakening our defenses such as the armed forces. I don’t wish ill will on those who suffer greatly in a body they feel is not their own, but I also cannot accept that their needs outweigh the other 99%’s needs.

I understand we need to treat everyone of all colors fairly and equally, and make sure they are not being discriminated against. However that also extends to the majority too as true equality is not what you take away from someone who already is on top, and giving it to the bottom, but giving the bottom what the top already has so EVERYONE has the same rights and privileges. Shutting down white people’s opinions or not hiring someone because they’re white citing past inequality only creates reverse discrimination.

I understand that we should be aware of what we say so we don’t hurt someone, but they should be aware not everything people say that sounds hurtful was meant to be and that maybe it was you who misinterpreted what they really meant. Also, I understand we should not be going out of our way to be “offensive” and rude, but not everything needs to be taken so gravely nor is it meant to genuinely offend. Also, sometimes, the truth hurts but needs to be acknowledged despite offending people.

As a woman, I understand that women have not always had ideal treatment by society. However, women have more power and greater freedom than countless other places in the world here in America. Whining about a tampon tax or pink razors for women or the fact a guy told you to smile once does not compare to having acid thrown in your face for not hiding it and being sold as a “wife”, (a.k.a sex slave) by your father to a man at age 12. Nor do we need to be like men and take on traditional men’s roles to be “empowered” and autonomous human beings.

Among other examples!

And to make one final important point, why can’t we just talk? Why can’t instead of dismissing me as a closed minded bigot who is all wrong, actually tell me why I’m wrong and give me specific examples? Now, I do acknowlege the few who do make more nuanced arguments against my arguments and I commend them. I’m talking to those who just want to endlessly rant about me being wrong and a bigot without giving any substantive counter arguments of their own, or simply showing me where I messed up. I’m not allergic to facts and figures. I’m not dismissive if someone makes the effort to try and educate me on a topic in a scholarly manner coming from a desire to help. What I do shut down though, are the ranters and ravers who only want to be a troll. I honestly would love to know why you didn’t vote Trump without going into an unhinged tirade of accusations without telling me why you think they’re true. Or more specifically why you might feel it’s unjustified to say Western Culture is beneficial compared to the 3rd world, or why you want more illegals in the country, or more gun control, or less strict abortion laws, why you believe white privilege is a thing, or why you think we need safe spaces etc…etc…

One critic of mine claimed they were a cultural anthropologist. Well guess what? I’m very interested in anyone who’s an academic in a scientific field and what they have to say and why. Instead of ranting and raving about me being wrong based off you being a cultural anthropologist, why not actually take the time to educate me, one lover of anthropology to another and not righteous SJW to some bigot, why my arguments about Western Culture are wrong beyond simply crying “past oppression!” Side note to all the scholars out there who disagree with me, I want to learn from your expertise and find out why you think I’m wrong. However I learn nothing from you just flaunting your credentials at me then proceeding to simply state I’m wrong. Unlike your stereotypes of conservatives, I do not embrace pseudo-scientific bunk and hate intellectuals! You may be shocked to find out I have a deep passion for topics such as the natural and social sciences.

Overall, if you simply critique my views from a desire to educate me and help, I’m not offended nor dismissive of you. I will listen, even if we end up not agreeing after the fact. I can respect a well made argument against me and maybe even modify my own views. Just stop the ranting, raving and personal attacks. And next time you criticize my position, please take the time to read the caveats and acknowlege them!

But It’s Their Reality…

This has been an observation I’ve had for a long time now observing my Leftist friends, classmates and coworkers: Apparently, we DON’T attend the same school, work at the same job, nor live in the same society even! Yes, we see each other on a regular basis in the same settings, but our perceptions of our reality couldn’t be more black and white! As if somehow I have a completely alien experience compared to everyone else! Why? To be honest, I’m not quite sure…

Let’s start with my most startling observation… My college experience. When I was in college, I thought I picked an amazing school. A beautiful campus. Nice housing. Great food. Warm and welcoming people who welcome you with open arms into the school community and reach out to make everyone feel welcome. An administration that cares about its students, good security, faculty who are excellent in their fields and deliver a high caliber education. What more can you ask for? However, all I heard from many of my peers was “This school has nothing to offer academically”, “The campus police are incompetent and ignore real issues”, “The administration keeps secrets and isn’t transparent enough in addressing student concerns”, and even more shockingly:

There are too many white students and they’re rude and racist toward students of color…

Women are afraid to even go out of their dorms in broad daylight going to class because of men harassing and cat calling them and that there are “several known rapists on campus!”

Now I know for a fact both statements were false when I went to school. All I’ve ever known was a warm, welcoming, inclusive community who opened their arms to all students.  I never once say any white students being openly rude to a student of color, refusing to be near them, to be friends, much less being blatantly racist! Not once have I ever seen outright bullying, or even as much as a “microaggression”. As for the allegations of harassment, I also have never experienced anything even remotely close to the sort as a woman myself. Not even walking back from a late night dance at 12:00 am! Much less in broad daylight going to a class on a random Tuesday for example, walking to a class nor were there ever hoards of  predatory men just waiting to harass women. Yet some of my fellow female classmates said they were harassed daily simply going to lunch by men whereas I was never even spoken to by a guy unless it was to say “hi” or “excuse me” to get past me. Now, I’m not saying there were never instances of racism or sexism on campus that I simply wasn’t privy to, of course there are always isolated incidents. But as a pattern and a campus culture as a whole? Nope! I lived on campus as much as they did yet never once witnessed a blatant act of racism or harassment, or even a remotely rude one… My experience at college was amazing at a great school with great support for those who are serious about studying and not just goofing off. They wouldn’t tolerate such antics and issues such as blatant harassment.

So where on Earth was all of this coming from? I really don’t know for sure, but my best guess is that they are simply looking for something to virtue signal over and be a group. The people in question making such allegations were all far Left, and in that light, perhaps it’s not too surprising they seemed to have an alternate reality! See, if they can whine collectively about something in their reality, they feel much more satisfied. In their reality, they lived in a racist cesspit of “white privilege” for four years of college. In their reality, they were harassed by men on a day to day basis and knew several rapists prowling around campus. But keep in mind, in the Left’s reality, EVERYTHING is either racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic etc…etc…

Of course, this is not confined to whiny entitled college kids who learn far Left. Leftists in general seem to have a separate reality in society at large! A country of opportunity, freedom and some of the best standards of living in their perception is one of inescapable poverty, racism, sexism, intolerance, xenophobia, one devoid of opportunities except for the top 1% to name a few! The party who deems itself the most accepting and tolerant, to everyone else, cannot tolerate anyone who thinks differently without labeling them as a bad person. The party of anti-racism only sees racist perspectives in regards to white people scapegoating them for everyone else’s issues. A party that thinks women are 3rd class in America where women in 3rd world countries are treated like dirt and even killed outright. The party who thinks the West is the worst culture on Earth despite higher standards of living and technology as well as progressive social values such as democracy and equality.

A party that lets in illegals in record numbers saying they aren’t a threat despite thousands on welfare, in jails and hiking up the violent crime rates. A party that sees legal gun owners as the enemy while criminals with no regard for gun laws are free to shoot as they please unhindered by law abiding citizens. A party that sees Trump as a fascist, racist tyrant akin to Adolph Hitler when we now have a better economy, trade deals, healthcare and a president who puts America first. A party that purports to stand for social “justice” creates ideologies that uphold double standards, inequalities and injustice. To the Left, they ARE the answer for society, but to everyone else, are creating more inequality, divisiveness and seem to be living on a different planet! Then again, it’s their reality!

No matter what you can never please them either! You do one thing to be more inclusive, it’s not inclusive enough to the next group! Or it’s too inclusive and one group wants another excluded from their little clique. Take for example the “Vagina Monologues” written to “empower” radical feminist women. Once lauded, now are deemed not inclusive enough because and I quote, “not all women have vaginas!” One progressive idea this week becomes un PC the next week. The Left’s problems in addition to being formed from an entirely different perception of the world, also cannot be solved in a reasonable way now either as what is “woke” today is forbidden tomorrow!

Well guess what Lefties? I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again! Your reality is not THE reality! In the absence of actual observations, evidence, statistics, etc… then most likely, your assertions that in an attentive warm and friendly school there are swarms of racists and predators, illegals are harmless when countless people have been murdered by them, legally owned guns the the issue when criminals use theirs without the law, women are treated like dirt in America when women in the 3rd world are killed, maimed and abused by men who see them as nothing, America is a land of tyranny when other countries like Venezuela are on the brink of a coup by starving citizens, and our current president is Adolph Hitler when he has made far more progress than 8 years of the previous guy, society is racist when they elected a president of color for 2 terms in a row etc…etc… Maybe, just maybe, you might want to reassess “your reality”…

(Oh, and  P.S. , please stop moving the goal posts whenever you’ve been out-debated by more reasoned logic than your own. But that’s for a whole other post 😉 )

Your Choice, Their Body…

I’m sure you all have heard of the recent laws being passed in several states restricting women’s abilities to get abortions. For many, it’s a victory in the fight to recognize the human right to life for the unborn, but for others, it comes as a severe blow for women’s rights to her bodily autonomy. Abortion is an incredibly heated topic, perhaps more so than all the others I’ve covered on this blog! Regardless of where you personally stand on the issue, I think much of the controversy rests in the fact that many pro-choice people miss the points the pro-life side is trying to make. The pro-choice side sees it as a struggle against the “patriarchy” over obsessive control over women’s bodies and has decided that men have no say in the matter, and argue that person hood and the rights that come with it don’t start until birth. However, the pro-life arguments I have heard have nothing to do with obsessively controlling what women do with their bodies, and all about protecting any ethical concerns regarding the person hood and right to life of the developing fetus. To many pro-life people, they define those rights beginning at conception. Some define it after a heart beat begins at around 6 weeks. Some factor in the when ability for pain and suffering would be present in the equation.

As to my own personal views on the matter, I will only say this right now: The issue is not all black and white, but ANY viewpoint or decision on the matter has to be about the child’s interests, NOT what’s merely convenient for mom! I’m honestly enraged by the blasé attitude of “my body my choice”, because the child growing inside of you is its own entity despite needing your body for survival for the first 9 months. Yes, bearing a child to term is a drain on your body, but just because your already born kids are a drain on your bank account doesn’t give you the moral right to terminate your parenthood over them, now does it?… Why not a “my bank account, my rules” clause too that relives parents of the legal obligation to feed and clothe their kids as well? A fetus depends on your body but is NOT part of your body and regardless if you are pro-choice or pro-life that’s just biology. It is not your cells. It is not your DNA. It often is not your blood type, and what many women find out the hard way, nor your Rh factor. The REAL crux of the issue is not about whether or not it’s biologically part of your own body, but the point at which it gains its own moral person hood and human rights in its own interests apart from yours, which is a nuanced and contentiously debated issue!

And nuanced and high stakes ethical issues require all sides be on the same page as to what’s being argued. I can respect arguments about the quality of life for the child after it’s born, as part of honoring life is understanding that all life is sacred, but the quality of that life matters just as much as being biologically alive. I can understand arguments about the mother’s health and safety in extreme cases other than mere inconvenience or some discomfort. What I cannot and will not consider though, is the total disregard for the fact that there even is a separate life to consider in the equation! 

The radical Leftist pro-choice side has lost more and more credibility with me the more they deny there are any rights to be considered for the child and couch their arguments in terms of convenience and argue strawmans about some mythical right-wing fundamentalist “patriarchy” in a mass conspiracy to get women pregnant and keep them that way. Really? The guys would have to pay child support for the next 18 years then! If they were being selfish and callous, they would encourage MORE abortions! He wants to cover up his mistake too… Oh, and the idea terminating a life is merely a “medical procedure” sounds chilling to both sides in any other context… Conversely, I have only gained more respect for pro-life arguments which do consider the interests of the unborn child above all else, because that’s what a parent does, and I agree parenthood morally begins once you know you’re pregnant, (and many on either side agree in terms of drinking and drugs while pregnant…) and parents put their children first above all else. Do I think the mother has zero rights herself? No, but while every life is sacred and person deserving of their human rights including mom, a mother puts her children first.

However, we could avoid this entire issue and the ugly realities it brings out for both sides of the debate if people could have the self control to not pop out unwanted kids then feel the need to clean up the mess! In that I agree with the pro-choice side: Your body, your choice, but also your consequences! With freedom, comes responsibility ladies. If you expect a man to step up to the plate if you choose to keep your baby, then why can’t you hold yourself to that same standard? Sex is NOT a right, and it’s certainly not a right to bring a child into this world you can’t care for and won’t want to! Prevention is the best cure!

Oh, and to the women on sex strike not raising future kids they will resent or turn into soy boys or radical man haters, thank you for this wonderful gift to humanity! 😉

(Oh, and P.S., all the conservative men said “NO!” first 😉 )

Ladies, Be Empowered!

This is addressed to my fellow women out there. I’ve covered much of the flaws of feminist thinking, especially along #MeToo lines in sexual assault prevention, which is basically zero. I’ve also covered in several articles my argument for more personal accountability to lessen one’s risks of assault as well as holding the perpetrator accountable too. Look, I know this topic isn’t all that pleasant, and very serious, but it must be addressed head on. I agree with the Left that misconceptions are a roadblock to empowering women to fight back against sexual assault, but I argue that it is in fact their side, that is fostering dangerous misconceptions about sexual assault.

Their basic premise is that too often, we shift the blame on the victim rather than the perpetrator and even go so far as to say we created a “rape culture” where rape is not only tolerated, but thought of as a man’s “right”. They say that the only thing that causes rape is the rapist, and nothing else. Therefore, one cannot talk about how alcohol or drugs play a role. Nor other poor risky choices such as becoming isolated or suggestive behavior/dress. Now, I will say that they are correct that one does indeed, need a rapist, to commit rape. Alcohol, sexy clothes, drugs, partying, does not literally cause a rape to happen, just as gun violence can only happen if someone pulls the trigger. However, the above factors do indeed create an increased risk of victimization, and are correlated with incidents of sexual assault.

Rapists are going to rape no matter what, because if you are at the point where you feel entitled to rape someone, you don’t care one bit about how it will impact your victim. You may not even care what they are wearing either, as many argue rape is more about power than sexuality. However, barring any empathy for your victim, you still have to choose one! So, which girl, if you would put yourself in the mindset of a callous rapist, but doesn’t want to get caught, would you choose? The girl who’s sober, more modestly dressed surrounded by 5 other girlfriends, (a.k.a. witnesses) at the party, or the one who’s almost blackout drunk, isolated, and in suggestive clothing that can be used as an excuse later in court in your favor? Who do you think would be noticed more if missing? Who do you think would put up less of a fight?

Now, does either girl deserve to get raped? Absolutely not! No one ever “deserves” rape, and nothing ever “justifies” rape. However, the cold, hard ugly truth of the matter is, one girl is more at risk than the other to be chosen as the next victim. Rapists will indeed rape no matter what whenever they find the chance, but it’s on us, ladies, to make sure he has the least amount of chances possible to target us. Causation for increasing your risk is not justification for the crime! Is it fair that we must go out of our way to look out for creeps? NO! But that’s reality. We shouldn’t need to watch out for each other at parties, or a girls’ night out. We shouldn’t have to worry about trusting the guy to take us home safely. Or buy us that drink and worry if he drugged it. We should be able to dress as sexy as we want without any unwanted advances. However, what we should be able to do and what we are able to do without putting ourselves more at risk aren’t identical.

And yes, sometimes, rape will happen when we do everything right to lessen our chances. Rapists will rape, we get it… But isn’t that true for any crime? A burglar can still smash in your window even when you lock your door every night, but does that mean you shouldn’t bother to lock your doors? We talk about more emphasis on teaching boys not to rape and assault women, instead of teaching girls how to empower themselves and lessen their risks in the logic that the solution is solely on telling men not to rape.

However, look at it this way: We teach our children not to steal, yet there are still thieves. Should the solution for burglary be simply to teach people to not steal and call any attempt at advising people to lock their doors or hide their valuables victim blaming? After all, no one has the right to steal your stuff no matter where you leave it! Similarly, there are still rapists despite teaching boys not to rape. The crime is not going away in both cases sadly. So what are we to do? Just sit around on our hands and complain about the obvious injustice, or do something to protect ourselves from becoming a victim, even if it means making inconvenient and yes, unfair, lifestyle adjustments?

Ladies, we need to live in the world as it is, not live in the world that we want it to be. Even if that world demands a “sexist” or un-PC answer to lessening our risk. We ARE judged by how we dress, whether we like it or not. Wearing sexy, provocative clothing, while never justifying any unwanted advances, sends off the signal that you want a consensual interaction and if the wrong guy who’s a complete callous jerk feels you “led him on”, yes, some will cross that line into assault. It’s ugly and unfair, wildly unfair and unjust, but ladies, this is the reality we live in. It’s not about simple morality, or saying that the girl in the sexy dress is morally “lesser” or “bad” and deserves assault, but it is about the fact that as unfair as it is, you ARE judged by how you choose to present yourself, and a real rapist can use it as an excuse in his sick twisted mind to justify harming you.

Drinking until you’re black out drunk, going off alone with a strange guy at the party, taking a drink that could be roofied easily etc… increases your chances of victimization and puts you in a vulnerable position. No, alcohol doesn’t cause rape to happen, but it does increase your risk the rapist will target you because you can’t physically resist or even say “no”. Going off alone with no witnesses and no one to step in to protect you is the perfect way to be victimized. Is this fair? Is it fair that women need to be careful instead of just being carefree when out for the night? Of course not! But as said before, this is the cold hard reality of the world we live in.

Saying all this is bound to draw the ire of many screaming “victim blaming!”, but this is no more victim blaming than suggesting one lock their doors or hide valuables to lessen chances of a burglary. Rapes can happen even after every base is covered. But so can burglaries. So can any crime. NO set of precautions has a 100% guarantee or covers every situation. That however, doesn’t mean we don’t take those precautions. Yes, the rapist could be someone you know and trust. Yes it can happen elsewhere than parties. Yes, more subtle coercion could be involved. Yes, I know all those things! That however does not belittle the merits of precautions against rapes that do happen with strangers, or in parties for instance. You may not be able to avoid one scenario, but does that mean “Why bother learning how to avoid the other”? Sure, the burglar can just smash in my window, but he sure won’t come through my door if I can help it! 😉

Ladies, it’s also not black and white. I’m not saying you can never party, you can never go out, you can never wear that “cute little number” to the club on girls’ night, you can never have a drink or hang out with a guy. We don’t have to dress like nuns and never leave our homes! All I’m proposing is to be aware. Awareness is half the battle, and with a good dose of awareness and common sense, you can have that night out of fun and be as safe as you can. Empowerment is liberating, not constraining. The awareness to know what the risk factors are, and how to avoid them is liberating, as you can live your life, just be aware and vigilant. When we drive, we learn the rules of the road. When we choose where to live, we look into crime rates. We have fire drills. We have emergency drills. We look over our shoulder in that sketchy area. We hide our valuables. We do all these things AND live a normal life full of excitement and fun. Can we do everything we want, (drink to excess, dress like we’re turning tricks, go off with every guy in the bar etc… etc..)? No. But in moderation, and with awareness of the risks, we can weigh our chances and act accordingly.

When it’s Not Just “A Matter of Opinion”…

I sincerely believe that many issues can be debated in a mindful and nuanced way, and that many topics are multidimensional and complex in that there truly is no one simple solution that can be solved by one side or the other 100%. I also argue that it’s wrong and misguided to demonize people over an opposing view, disregarding how they got to their opinion and what motivated them to feel as they do. The vast majority of issues are not all black and white, even ones people are strongly polarized over and strongly feel theirs is the only moral opinion. There are always mitigating circumstances, unique cases, exceptions to rules, gray areas to be seen etc… that make each issue very much a case by case basis. There is room for open mindedness and still staying strong in your own convictions. The two are not mutually exclusive! It is possible to hear the other side out, while sticking to your guns, so to speak. It is also not a weakness to change your opinion, or modify it in light of new information. I have done that over my journey too…

However, that said, I do also feel that certain issues are more ethically and morally salient than others, and therefore, must be more strongly debated. Yes, some issues cannot simply be written off as “Let’s agree to disagree”. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to make an arch enemy out of your friends, family, classmates, coworkers, etc… who hold the opposing view, but I’m talking on a societal level and a policy-making level. It is true one cannot easily “legislate morality”, but our laws reflect the moral code we embrace as a society. Not stealing. Not murdering. Not cheating people. Yes, I also realize there is a fine line between “public safety” and “nanny state”. We do need autonomy and individual choice in society as well. Society serves us, and while we must work together to keep it running smoothly, we’re not its slaves. However, without morality, there is social anarchy. As for the things we really can’t legislate per se, our de facto rules and attitudes in society can do just as much or even more harm than what is written into our laws and policies. After all, society really doesn’t change until we agree it should, no matter what any law says.

If you were to ask me about one area I’d advocate taking a more firm stance on in terms of fighting harder to get my way, I’d say it would be in matters of safety and risk of lasting harm. It’s one thing to argue the subtle nuances of fairness, what’s fair or not, and that’s important too. But there is more moral wiggle room. When policies and attitudes harm people, a clear line is drawn. We’ve all heard the phrase “Your rights end where another’s begins…” 🙂 When real harm is done, physically, and yes, emotionally in certain cases, or real danger is present, then yes, the debate just got more high stakes. So to me at least, while I can and will listen openly to other arguments for why something may not be so high stakes and such a big deal, I will speak out to stop policies and ideologies that are doing real and lasting harm. It’s not just “a matter of opinion” when:

Illegals and refugees are bringing in crime and 3rd world values of oppression and inequality and case after case of murder victims murdered by an illegal.

Biological men can go into a bathroom or locker room with women and girls under the guise of being transgender putting them at risk for sexual assaults.

Children aren’t safe in school from the thugs bused in from the rough neighborhoods to support some social agenda or when no one is safe in their once safe neighborhood due to policies bringing in thugs and a culture of crime.

A generation is raised in broken families, where live in boyfriend replaced dad, and mom resents the kids from her marriage with her ex. Where children are now primed for an increased chance of mental illness, depression, and risky behaviors.

Parents feel entitled to make decisions “consequence free” that will do deep and lasting harm to their children emotionally, scarring them for life for the sake of an adult’s convenience or happiness, over a child’s need for stability and love.

A society where young women are told that they need to be promiscuous to be empowered, risking STD’s, sexual assault, and a damaged self-image/esteem leading to vulnerability and abuse.

The attitude of it’s “blaming the victim” to tell young women how to empower themselves to decrease their risk for assault creates a false sense of security and opens them up to fall right into the predator’s trap.

The men in our lives can be accused and have their lives destroyed on a whim by #MeToo witch hunts with no other evidence than a Y chromosome and a stereotype.

Our country is defended by a weaker less able military in the name of “gender equality”.

A human life is considered an inconvenience easily disposed of and honoring its human rights is a “choice”.

Anti-Gun policies enable the mass shooter bent on destruction of human life to come in to your child’s school and shoot without hindrance or the shooter at the movie theater, or the mall, at work, or anywhere you go since no one is armed but him!

Terrorism reins free here and abroad, creating a world of distrust, suspicion, and obviously, lost lives and property. A world where going for a vacation is your last choice on this Earth, going to work and never coming home, going on a trip to see a beautiful attraction in a country just like our own is now too dangerous, a car veering off the road is more than just an accident, an unknown package requires the bomb squad, etc… etc…

A country that turns a blind eye to crime rates by demographic, calls for abolishing border protection, schools that cover up instances of sexual assault due to transgender policies from the parents of the victims, news reports that don’t give the description of a wanted suspect due to race or other minority status etc… etc…

Science and academia is suppressed from publishing research studies that conflict with the party line that would help people suffering and provide better solutions to many social issues.

A country where starving citizens, homeless veterans, needy children and families, hardworking people who just need that extra leg up, are brushed aside for outsiders or fellow citizens able to support themselves coming to take our resources for themselves without giving back. The detrimental effects are real: Homelessness, hunger, poor health, etc…

The media reports false information to support an agenda that takes our focus off the real dangers to look out for and be aware of.

And so many others. These are all tangible dangers that affect our society greatly, due to societal attitudes and policies. Our policies enable these injustices to go on and endanger ourselves, our family, our friends and our fellow citizens. So do our de facto attitudes that pressure people to turn a blind eye and just shut up. Well, someone has to speak up, and it needs to be all of us together. Someone to advocate for our families, our communities, our country. Someone to say, NO, it’s NOT up for debate when people’s lives are literally on the line. Someone to say that a person’s right to safety and freedom from harm matters more than any agenda or social experiment. Someone who is brave enough to say:

The safety of our families, communities, and country is NOT “a matter of opinion”!!!