Your Choice, Their Body…

I’m sure you all have heard of the recent laws being passed in several states restricting women’s abilities to get abortions. For many, it’s a victory in the fight to recognize the human right to life for the unborn, but for others, it comes as a severe blow for women’s rights to her bodily autonomy. Abortion is an incredibly heated topic, perhaps more so than all the others I’ve covered on this blog! Regardless of where you personally stand on the issue, I think much of the controversy rests in the fact that many pro-choice people miss the points the pro-life side is trying to make. The pro-choice side sees it as a struggle against the “patriarchy” over obsessive control over women’s bodies and has decided that men have no say in the matter, and argue that person hood and the rights that come with it don’t start until birth. However, the pro-life arguments I have heard have nothing to do with obsessively controlling what women do with their bodies, and all about protecting any ethical concerns regarding the person hood and right to life of the developing fetus. To many pro-life people, they define those rights beginning at conception. Some define it after a heart beat begins at around 6 weeks. Some factor in the when ability for pain and suffering would be present in the equation.

As to my own personal views on the matter, I will only say this right now: The issue is not all black and white, but ANY viewpoint or decision on the matter has to be about the child’s interests, NOT what’s merely convenient for mom! I’m honestly enraged by the blasé attitude of “my body my choice”, because the child growing inside of you is its own entity despite needing your body for survival for the first 9 months. Yes, bearing a child to term is a drain on your body, but just because your already born kids are a drain on your bank account doesn’t give you the moral right to terminate your parenthood over them, now does it?… Why not a “my bank account, my rules” clause too that relives parents of the legal obligation to feed and clothe their kids as well? A fetus depends on your body but is NOT part of your body and regardless if you are pro-choice or pro-life that’s just biology. It is not your cells. It is not your DNA. It often is not your blood type, and what many women find out the hard way, nor your Rh factor. The REAL crux of the issue is not about whether or not it’s biologically part of your own body, but the point at which it gains its own moral person hood and human rights in its own interests apart from yours, which is a nuanced and contentiously debated issue!

And nuanced and high stakes ethical issues require all sides be on the same page as to what’s being argued. I can respect arguments about the quality of life for the child after it’s born, as part of honoring life is understanding that all life is sacred, but the quality of that life matters just as much as being biologically alive. I can understand arguments about the mother’s health and safety in extreme cases other than mere inconvenience or some discomfort. What I cannot and will not consider though, is the total disregard for the fact that there even is a separate life to consider in the equation! 

The radical Leftist pro-choice side has lost more and more credibility with me the more they deny there are any rights to be considered for the child and couch their arguments in terms of convenience and argue strawmans about some mythical right-wing fundamentalist “patriarchy” in a mass conspiracy to get women pregnant and keep them that way. Really? The guys would have to pay child support for the next 18 years then! If they were being selfish and callous, they would encourage MORE abortions! He wants to cover up his mistake too… Oh, and the idea terminating a life is merely a “medical procedure” sounds chilling to both sides in any other context… Conversely, I have only gained more respect for pro-life arguments which do consider the interests of the unborn child above all else, because that’s what a parent does, and I agree parenthood morally begins once you know you’re pregnant, (and many on either side agree in terms of drinking and drugs while pregnant…) and parents put their children first above all else. Do I think the mother has zero rights herself? No, but while every life is sacred and person deserving of their human rights including mom, a mother puts her children first.

However, we could avoid this entire issue and the ugly realities it brings out for both sides of the debate if people could have the self control to not pop out unwanted kids then feel the need to clean up the mess! In that I agree with the pro-choice side: Your body, your choice, but also your consequences! With freedom, comes responsibility ladies. If you expect a man to step up to the plate if you choose to keep your baby, then why can’t you hold yourself to that same standard? Sex is NOT a right, and it’s certainly not a right to bring a child into this world you can’t care for and won’t want to! Prevention is the best cure!

Oh, and to the women on sex strike not raising future kids they will resent or turn into soy boys or radical man haters, thank you for this wonderful gift to humanity! 😉

Image result for branco radical feminist

(Oh, and P.S., all the conservative men said “NO!” first 😉 )

Advertisements

Ladies, Be Empowered!

This is addressed to my fellow women out there. I’ve covered much of the flaws of feminist thinking, especially along #MeToo lines in sexual assault prevention, which is basically zero. I’ve also covered in several articles my argument for more personal accountability to lessen one’s risks of assault as well as holding the perpetrator accountable too. Look, I know this topic isn’t all that pleasant, and very serious, but it must be addressed head on. I agree with the Left that misconceptions are a roadblock to empowering women to fight back against sexual assault, but I argue that it is in fact their side, that is fostering dangerous misconceptions about sexual assault.

Their basic premise is that too often, we shift the blame on the victim rather than the perpetrator and even go so far as to say we created a “rape culture” where rape is not only tolerated, but thought of as a man’s “right”. They say that the only thing that causes rape is the rapist, and nothing else. Therefore, one cannot talk about how alcohol or drugs play a role. Nor other poor risky choices such as becoming isolated or suggestive behavior/dress. Now, I will say that they are correct that one does indeed, need a rapist, to commit rape. Alcohol, sexy clothes, drugs, partying, does not literally cause a rape to happen, just as gun violence can only happen if someone pulls the trigger. However, the above factors do indeed create an increased risk of victimization, and are correlated with incidents of sexual assault.

Rapists are going to rape no matter what, because if you are at the point where you feel entitled to rape someone, you don’t care one bit about how it will impact your victim. You may not even care what they are wearing either, as many argue rape is more about power than sexuality. However, barring any empathy for your victim, you still have to choose one! So, which girl, if you would put yourself in the mindset of a callous rapist, but doesn’t want to get caught, would you choose? The girl who’s sober, more modestly dressed surrounded by 5 other girlfriends, (a.k.a. witnesses) at the party, or the one who’s almost blackout drunk, isolated, and in suggestive clothing that can be used as an excuse later in court in your favor? Who do you think would be noticed more if missing? Who do you think would put up less of a fight?

Now, does either girl deserve to get raped? Absolutely not! No one ever “deserves” rape, and nothing ever “justifies” rape. However, the cold, hard ugly truth of the matter is, one girl is more at risk than the other to be chosen as the next victim. Rapists will indeed rape no matter what whenever they find the chance, but it’s on us, ladies, to make sure he has the least amount of chances possible to target us. Causation for increasing your risk is not justification for the crime! Is it fair that we must go out of our way to look out for creeps? NO! But that’s reality. We shouldn’t need to watch out for each other at parties, or a girls’ night out. We shouldn’t have to worry about trusting the guy to take us home safely. Or buy us that drink and worry if he drugged it. We should be able to dress as sexy as we want without any unwanted advances. However, what we should be able to do and what we are able to do without putting ourselves more at risk aren’t identical.

And yes, sometimes, rape will happen when we do everything right to lessen our chances. Rapists will rape, we get it… But isn’t that true for any crime? A burglar can still smash in your window even when you lock your door every night, but does that mean you shouldn’t bother to lock your doors? We talk about more emphasis on teaching boys not to rape and assault women, instead of teaching girls how to empower themselves and lessen their risks in the logic that the solution is solely on telling men not to rape.

However, look at it this way: We teach our children not to steal, yet there are still thieves. Should the solution for burglary be simply to teach people to not steal and call any attempt at advising people to lock their doors or hide their valuables victim blaming? After all, no one has the right to steal your stuff no matter where you leave it! Similarly, there are still rapists despite teaching boys not to rape. The crime is not going away in both cases sadly. So what are we to do? Just sit around on our hands and complain about the obvious injustice, or do something to protect ourselves from becoming a victim, even if it means making inconvenient and yes, unfair, lifestyle adjustments?

Ladies, we need to live in the world as it is, not live in the world that we want it to be. Even if that world demands a “sexist” or un-PC answer to lessening our risk. We ARE judged by how we dress, whether we like it or not. Wearing sexy, provocative clothing, while never justifying any unwanted advances, sends off the signal that you want a consensual interaction and if the wrong guy who’s a complete callous jerk feels you “led him on”, yes, some will cross that line into assault. It’s ugly and unfair, wildly unfair and unjust, but ladies, this is the reality we live in. It’s not about simple morality, or saying that the girl in the sexy dress is morally “lesser” or “bad” and deserves assault, but it is about the fact that as unfair as it is, you ARE judged by how you choose to present yourself, and a real rapist can use it as an excuse in his sick twisted mind to justify harming you.

Drinking until you’re black out drunk, going off alone with a strange guy at the party, taking a drink that could be roofied easily etc… increases your chances of victimization and puts you in a vulnerable position. No, alcohol doesn’t cause rape to happen, but it does increase your risk the rapist will target you because you can’t physically resist or even say “no”. Going off alone with no witnesses and no one to step in to protect you is the perfect way to be victimized. Is this fair? Is it fair that women need to be careful instead of just being carefree when out for the night? Of course not! But as said before, this is the cold hard reality of the world we live in.

Saying all this is bound to draw the ire of many screaming “victim blaming!”, but this is no more victim blaming than suggesting one lock their doors or hide valuables to lessen chances of a burglary. Rapes can happen even after every base is covered. But so can burglaries. So can any crime. NO set of precautions has a 100% guarantee or covers every situation. That however, doesn’t mean we don’t take those precautions. Yes, the rapist could be someone you know and trust. Yes it can happen elsewhere than parties. Yes, more subtle coercion could be involved. Yes, I know all those things! That however does not belittle the merits of precautions against rapes that do happen with strangers, or in parties for instance. You may not be able to avoid one scenario, but does that mean “Why bother learning how to avoid the other”? Sure, the burglar can just smash in my window, but he sure won’t come through my door if I can help it! 😉

Ladies, it’s also not black and white. I’m not saying you can never party, you can never go out, you can never wear that “cute little number” to the club on girls’ night, you can never have a drink or hang out with a guy. We don’t have to dress like nuns and never leave our homes! All I’m proposing is to be aware. Awareness is half the battle, and with a good dose of awareness and common sense, you can have that night out of fun and be as safe as you can. Empowerment is liberating, not constraining. The awareness to know what the risk factors are, and how to avoid them is liberating, as you can live your life, just be aware and vigilant. When we drive, we learn the rules of the road. When we choose where to live, we look into crime rates. We have fire drills. We have emergency drills. We look over our shoulder in that sketchy area. We hide our valuables. We do all these things AND live a normal life full of excitement and fun. Can we do everything we want, (drink to excess, dress like we’re turning tricks, go off with every guy in the bar etc… etc..)? No. But in moderation, and with awareness of the risks, we can weigh our chances and act accordingly.

Related image

When it’s Not Just “A Matter of Opinion”…

I sincerely believe that many issues can be debated in a mindful and nuanced way, and that many topics are multidimensional and complex in that there truly is no one simple solution that can be solved by one side or the other 100%. I also argue that it’s wrong and misguided to demonize people over an opposing view, disregarding how they got to their opinion and what motivated them to feel as they do. The vast majority of issues are not all black and white, even ones people are strongly polarized over and strongly feel theirs is the only moral opinion. There are always mitigating circumstances, unique cases, exceptions to rules, gray areas to be seen etc… that make each issue very much a case by case basis. There is room for open mindedness and still staying strong in your own convictions. The two are not mutually exclusive! It is possible to hear the other side out, while sticking to your guns, so to speak. It is also not a weakness to change your opinion, or modify it in light of new information. I have done that over my journey too…

However, that said, I do also feel that certain issues are more ethically and morally salient than others, and therefore, must be more strongly debated. Yes, some issues cannot simply be written off as “Let’s agree to disagree”. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to make an arch enemy out of your friends, family, classmates, coworkers, etc… who hold the opposing view, but I’m talking on a societal level and a policy-making level. It is true one cannot easily “legislate morality”, but our laws reflect the moral code we embrace as a society. Not stealing. Not murdering. Not cheating people. Yes, I also realize there is a fine line between “public safety” and “nanny state”. We do need autonomy and individual choice in society as well. Society serves us, and while we must work together to keep it running smoothly, we’re not its slaves. However, without morality, there is social anarchy. As for the things we really can’t legislate per se, our de facto rules and attitudes in society can do just as much or even more harm than what is written into our laws and policies. After all, society really doesn’t change until we agree it should, no matter what any law says.

If you were to ask me about one area I’d advocate taking a more firm stance on in terms of fighting harder to get my way, I’d say it would be in matters of safety and risk of lasting harm. It’s one thing to argue the subtle nuances of fairness, what’s fair or not, and that’s important too. But there is more moral wiggle room. When policies and attitudes harm people, a clear line is drawn. We’ve all heard the phrase “Your rights end where another’s begins…” 🙂 When real harm is done, physically, and yes, emotionally in certain cases, or real danger is present, then yes, the debate just got more high stakes. So to me at least, while I can and will listen openly to other arguments for why something may not be so high stakes and such a big deal, I will speak out to stop policies and ideologies that are doing real and lasting harm. It’s not just “a matter of opinion” when:

Illegals and refugees are bringing in crime and 3rd world values of oppression and inequality and case after case of murder victims murdered by an illegal.

Biological men can go into a bathroom or locker room with women and girls under the guise of being transgender putting them at risk for sexual assaults.

Children aren’t safe in school from the thugs bused in from the rough neighborhoods to support some social agenda or when no one is safe in their once safe neighborhood due to policies bringing in thugs and a culture of crime.

A generation is raised in broken families, where live in boyfriend replaced dad, and mom resents the kids from her marriage with her ex. Where children are now primed for an increased chance of mental illness, depression, and risky behaviors.

Parents feel entitled to make decisions “consequence free” that will do deep and lasting harm to their children emotionally, scarring them for life for the sake of an adult’s convenience or happiness, over a child’s need for stability and love.

A society where young women are told that they need to be promiscuous to be empowered, risking STD’s, sexual assault, and a damaged self-image/esteem leading to vulnerability and abuse.

The attitude of it’s “blaming the victim” to tell young women how to empower themselves to decrease their risk for assault creates a false sense of security and opens them up to fall right into the predator’s trap.

The men in our lives can be accused and have their lives destroyed on a whim by #MeToo witch hunts with no other evidence than a Y chromosome and a stereotype.

Our country is defended by a weaker less able military in the name of “gender equality”.

A human life is considered an inconvenience easily disposed of and honoring its human rights is a “choice”.

Anti-Gun policies enable the mass shooter bent on destruction of human life to come in to your child’s school and shoot without hindrance or the shooter at the movie theater, or the mall, at work, or anywhere you go since no one is armed but him!

Terrorism reins free here and abroad, creating a world of distrust, suspicion, and obviously, lost lives and property. A world where going for a vacation is your last choice on this Earth, going to work and never coming home, going on a trip to see a beautiful attraction in a country just like our own is now too dangerous, a car veering off the road is more than just an accident, an unknown package requires the bomb squad, etc… etc…

A country that turns a blind eye to crime rates by demographic, calls for abolishing border protection, schools that cover up instances of sexual assault due to transgender policies from the parents of the victims, news reports that don’t give the description of a wanted suspect due to race or other minority status etc… etc…

Science and academia is suppressed from publishing research studies that conflict with the party line that would help people suffering and provide better solutions to many social issues.

A country where starving citizens, homeless veterans, needy children and families, hardworking people who just need that extra leg up, are brushed aside for outsiders or fellow citizens able to support themselves coming to take our resources for themselves without giving back. The detrimental effects are real: Homelessness, hunger, poor health, etc…

The media reports false information to support an agenda that takes our focus off the real dangers to look out for and be aware of.

And so many others. These are all tangible dangers that affect our society greatly, due to societal attitudes and policies. Our policies enable these injustices to go on and endanger ourselves, our family, our friends and our fellow citizens. So do our de facto attitudes that pressure people to turn a blind eye and just shut up. Well, someone has to speak up, and it needs to be all of us together. Someone to advocate for our families, our communities, our country. Someone to say, NO, it’s NOT up for debate when people’s lives are literally on the line. Someone to say that a person’s right to safety and freedom from harm matters more than any agenda or social experiment. Someone who is brave enough to say:

The safety of our families, communities, and country is NOT “a matter of opinion”!!!

Related image

A PSA to The Left: You Don’t Have to Like Trump, Just Don’t Go Nuts…

Dear Liberals,

It’s me again… Another conservative out of many in this country. I’ve seen the way you’ve handled losing the 2016 election: With uncontrollable outrage and vitriol that hasn’t died down since the second you found out he got in. I’m impressed, honestly! I thought your tantrum would be old news and you would have simmered down within a month or so, but no! Two years and counting and coming up on the next election and all I can hear is “Racist!”, “Sexist!”, “Fascist!” etc… and of course, your favorite new slogan, “Impeach!!!” 

Now you say Trump deserves it, Trump is special, he’s done so much harm… And in light of any substantial evidence, I too want my president and other authority figures held accountable for their actions. However, I fail to see any substantial evidence he has done something gravely wrong enough to impeach him for! Some locker room talk? You better shun every male friend and relative if you hold to the idea that no decent man ever bantered some off color comments with the boys in private! His ex wives and personal flings? Oh, yeah, because Trump is the first politician or rich celebrity to ever think of not being the perfect little angel! Shall we bring up the laundry list of politicians on the Left who have done wrong in their personal lives? Bill anyone? 😉 More importantly, how does that affect him carrying out his duties at President of The United States? We can argue Trump and other politicians too aren’t the greatest family men. Not 100% moral blemish free. Yes, some things can make me lose some measure of respect for people in their personal lives over flings and affairs. However, what really matters to me, what will affect me and the rest of the country is if the person in office honors his role in office and carries out all their duties they swore to do.

I know some of the more intricate political controversies over Trump have been extensively covered, and thus won’t go in to too much depth over what would require its own separate post! However, I will say that in light of the recent news about Muller’s report being released, the whole Russian collusion allegation concluded predictably 😉 Not much to see here, folks! In addition, countless other allegations have been brought up, then when proven false, silently gone out in the news cycle by Left leaning media, to be replaced with others, in what appears to be an attempt at grasping at straws.

If you were to ask me personally, and probably other conservatives too why they voted Trump, reasons given would be one, he’s making real change for the better. Our country was not in good shape, a bad economy, cheated in foreign policies, terrorism running rampant among others. The way we’ve been going under the past 8 years before hasn’t been working out… Nothing was being changed. We needed a new strategy, new ideas, and Trump had them. Knowing business from his past career, he knows how to negotiate, how to compromise, and also when to hold firm, like in his recent summit with North Korea. He knows the economy, and has improve it greatly. My family, as a few are self employed or commissioned, have not seen as much job opportunities in years until Trump got in. Just recently, he pushed back ISIS and about wiped them out. He made better deals with other nations to ensure we be treated fairly. He’s standing up for our national security and protecting our borders and our resources. He’s given people a second chance even as part of the so called “tough on crime” party… Is Trump the most diplomatic? Not really… I will admit many of his tweets can be quite frank and pointed! But sometimes, the smooth talker isn’t always the best leader despite that polished appearance. Sometimes, you need to call a spade a spade even if it’s not flattering and hard to hear. I challenge you to find one conservative who’s not “alt-right” in some fringe extremist group, to say they voted Trump because they want to subjugate women and set back race relations 100 years… As for the assertions Trump is sexist or racist, I only ask, have you known him for being such things before he ran for office?

However, all this said, wait for it…. You have the right not to like Trump. Yes, I am accepting of others forming their own opinions on Trump or any other candidate. I don’t feel like people must be required to drool over Trump’s feet more than any other politician. Trump should be open to fair criticism and intense scrutiny as any other president should be. Not all of Trump’s ideas will fall through to the fullest extent. He can’t do it all more than any other man. But then again, name one president who fulfilled 100% of his campaign promises! If you feel Trump isn’t up to your standards, fine. Fine by me. The entire country doesn’t have to like whatever current president is in office or else there wouldn’t be a need to vote! 😉 If you feel the evidence is not sufficient enough to vote Trump in 2020, that’s your right in a democracy.

Here’s my problem though: Going absolutely insane over not liking Trump! See, not voting for Trump and threatening those who do are in two radically different ball parks! Saying Trump should be treated like a man, not a demi-god above the law is fair. What isn’t fair is spewing vitriolic allegations without actual proof, and doctoring “evidence” to suit your conclusions! Calling a man a “rapist”, a “racist”, a “fascist” demands heavy proof as those are very ugly accusations not to take lightly. Investigating voting fraud and cheating such as collusion with foreign powers if suspected is one thing, but keeping up the charade for two years going no where with any proof to actually impeach reflects far more on you than him. Coming up with wild conspiracy theories and failing to accept that maybe, just maybe, it was possible the nation voted him in like any other president in US history… Why is it so hard to just accept you didn’t get your way for once? How is he so radically different from any other past president you didn’t vote for? Other conservative presidents?

Know what I think? Your insane vitriol over Trump has actually drove me to like him more and has convinced me to vote him in in 2020. Believe it or not, in 2016 I wasn’t sure of Trump either. I voted for a 3rd party. I had reservations about his ability to lead this country and saw him more as the superficial celebrity. However, seeing what he accomplished in office proved himself to me. See? I can change my mind based on actual evidence! The other major factor too as mentioned, was seeing the absolute meltdown over him where he and anyone who did vote for him were branded “deplorable” and immoral people… Threats, violence, ostracism, etc…etc… all from the Left to try to drive us into silence over our current president has only further convinced me not to vote for your party! Before politics became a bigger part of my identity overall, if people reacted with such vitriol towards Obama, there is a good chance I might have voted for him in 2012! Not because I was a huge Obama fan at all, (I’m certainly not now!) but because any party who would react with such insanity and utter immaturity is not one I respect nor would take seriously to run my country. What pushed me away from the Left, other than strictly policy-wise, is indeed this outlandish behavior and lack of decorum!

By all means don’t vote for Trump if you feel he’s not up for the job. Just don’t go into a paroxysm of late stage TDS and foam at the mouth at the mere mention of Trump. Criticize Trump just like any other politician, but be big enough to admit when he does something right. Hold Trump accountable for his actions, but also defend him when he is being unfairly accused. Realize he will make mistakes, he won’t be able to fulfill all his campaign promises, but also realize that no other president was mistake free or achieved 100% of his goals. Donald Trump is human too, and he deserves to be allowed an honest mistake or an un-reached goal like any other president and human being. I’d love to talk more in detail over why the Left believes as it does about Trump, but thus far, I cant find any who are willing to talk in a clear headed rational manner without throwing ad-hominems at Trump supporters like me, or Trump…

So in summary, you don’t have to like Trump to make me listen to you. You don’t have to be in love with how he handles his presidency. I wasn’t with Obama the past 8 years he was in office. However, I never spewed vitriol, threatened, harassed and ostracized those who did like Obama. Nor did I believe every unsubstantiated conspiracy theory people brought up, blinded by my hatred. I can admit it if Obama did anything good for the country as well as see his flaws. I never screamed “Impeach!!!” just because I didn’t get my way for a few years. Put it in perspective: Trump is not dictator for life! You will get your way eventually, and we will again too. That’s just how a fair democracy works. No one gets their way all the time! I learned that in preschool. So Dear Liberals, you didn’t lose my vote or my respect because you don’t like Trump. You lost it when you lost your decorum, civility and outright moral conduct over not getting your way…

(PS. I know my tone is harsh in this letter, but consider how harsh you sound if you imagine all you say about us and Trump, only replacing us with you, and Trump with your candidate! I also note that if you want to be addressed in a more gentle manner, please extend the courtesy to us also in the future 😉 …)

— A Lady of Reason

Image result for the swearing in ceremony ben garrison

How The Left is Driving A Wedge…

The Left’s derisive rhetoric and ideology has driven a wedge in much of society. From race wars, to gender wars. Gay versus straight, cis versus transgender. Black versus white. Christian versus Non-Christian. Etc…etc… Seeing the worst of intentions in innocuous comments. “Microaggressions” so microscopic yet so massive to the “victim”. Scapegoating, blaming, finger pointing, you name it! The Left fosters it. And what does all this un-nuanced black and white division do to society? You guessed it! Divided society at every level and among every group! Families are literally feuding over how one voted in 2016. Ostracism, insults, ultimatums are becoming more and more prominent in friendships, relationships, and families all over politics and social issues. An opposing opinion is no longer grounds for “disagreeing to disagree” then changing the subject. No! now it has to mean the other person is evil, bigoted, immoral, and even perverted in some cases!

Take this scenario, based off this article. A mom whose daughters are 13 and 15 wrote in to a columnist that she is upset that her husband and her father in law are telling jokes that all dads with daughters know about, such as “Dad better buy a shotgun for when they start dating!” Or “lock your doors!”. She claims it made her daughters uncomfortable as well as herself. The columnist wrote back in agreement saying that such jokes rob daughters of their agency, and make light of gun violence. Now, I agree with one thing: If the daughters don’t like it, they should stop out of respect for their daughters’ and granddaughters’ wishes.

However, lets dive deeper into what I argue this portrayal of this common family scenario has been seen through a lens of extreme projection and misguided conclusions. Jokes like those told by men one, are NOT taken literally (just like 99.9% of jokes!) and really meant to reflect a man’s sense of duty and honor towards his daughters, and more widely, protecting the women in his life. Quite frankly, a woman such as a mother, does not have the full sense of the dynamic between man-to-man interactions and how men express sentiments is not the same often as how a woman might express it. The “protect your daughters” jokes are an example of that. Grandpa was simply giving dad a man-to-man pat on the back so to speak, for the challenges of raising daughters and making sure their best interests are respected by any suitor.

The jokes are hyperbolic: Barring out and out abuse, a sane and reasonable man would not literally pull out a gun and terrorize a suitor! The point is that the jokes are meant to show how far a man would go to protect his daughter from mistreatment, exploitation, coercion or abuse if it were to occur, not that hell go out like a man man waving a gun at every teenage boy in town! While of course, mothers also are deeply invested in protecting their daughters from predatory or toxic men, the special role of an honorable man has always been to guard his daughters until he knows her chosen one is worthy of her, beyond what a woman is expected to do.

Grandpa, who’s “guilty” of said jokes, is not being a perv, or a chauvinist who believes that his granddaughters should literally be locked up like in some 3rd world culture, but a man who in his wisdom, is supporting the dad in his role as protector. As to the other argument about agency and autonomy, one, what other areas of major life choices would you argue a young teenager should have complete and total autonomy over? And two, why not complain more about cultures who literally KILL their daughters over an unapproved suitor and force her into marriage at the age these girls are? Where’s the feminist outrage over that??? You can argue all you want you don’t want men to occupy that traditional role guarding his daughter’s hearts, but what would you say of a man who’s just like, “Whatever… What do I care about my daughter’s dating habits…” As for the daughters themselves, perhaps they were conditioned from day one to look at men as potential perverts and misogynists and were primed to read disgusting undertones in grandpa’s well meaning comments.  Just look at the Girl Scouts of America telling parents young girls hugging grandpa leads to sexual coercion at work 20 years later! Just because mom, not socialized to have the honor code of a man, doesn’t quite understand the subtle nuances of the dynamic between Dad and Grandpa, doesn’t mean they have nefarious intentions or sexist attitudes! My case rests… 😉

The next scenario, related to family matters, is the case of a mother on an online forum freaking out over her 7 year old daughter’s kitten heels she bought for some special event, like a daddy daughter dance, let’s say. I’ve also covered this topic before too, but what shocked me was the mothers reaction to what Dad said: She said she was fearful and troubled because Dad said, guess what? “Wow! You look so grown up!” to his daughter when he saw her in those shoes. Mom believes that Dad’s comment was perverted in the worst possible way, and that yes, implied it meant Dad was lusting over his little girl comparing her to a grown woman! Even more shockingly, multiple women agreed with her!

Now, to a sane person, it sounds just like a dad amazed, as any parent is, of how fast is child is growing up. Seeing his daughter, in her fancy dress, her hair done up, some light makeup, and in those cute little shoes for her special dance with daddy, it is not out of the question that as a parent, he could see in her in that moment, some of the woman she will grow into very soon. A beautiful woman he will one day dance with again at her wedding. Or send off to her prom. What only the sickest most vile pervert would see in a little girl in kitten heels is a sex object to lust over!!! In the fight to stop oversexualizing girls, the  women’s rights movement has ironically, sexualized them to the extreme by seeing everything that was once innocent, as now sexual, sick and perverted! I can only think of two scenarios. Number one, mom is wildly and wrongly projecting the most vile thoughts on her husband for being a sentimental dad, or she married a complete monster and doesn’t deserve to raise a child if she allows him to be near her daughter. I strongly suspect the former case is more probable…

Lastly but certainly not least of all, another example of how a family can be utterly divided by Leftist ideology is the common case of that relative who says something un-PC at the family gathering. Now, instead of just chalking it up to an older generation who were raised with different norms, or an innocuous comment that just came off as “insensitive” as opposed to a targeted insult, many Left learning parents are struggling with whether or not to let the kids see Grandma, or Aunt Sally, or Uncle Joe over “sexist” or “racist” sentiments that most reasonable people outside of the radical Left wouldn’t interpret as openly racist or sexist for instance. apparently, it’s not enough to say to your kids, “I disagree with what Grandma says sometimes, and here’s why, but we still love her even though we differ on certain subjects…”

Now, it’s all or nothing. If Grandma’s not “woke” enough, she doesn’t make the cut! Or maybe just be open and honest and tell Grandma, or Uncle Joe or Aunt Susie not to bring those topics up in front of your kids when they come to visit. Many, even if they differ from your perspective will honor your request. After all, 5 year olds care more about Grandma’s cookies than Grandma’s political ideologies! 😉 However, why can’t we just be brave enough to expose our kids to differing views then let them know they can make up their own mind in their own time without pressure from either side? We can’t grow as people without thinking deeply and thinking for oneself after all.

In all three examples, we see families utterly divided by the Left. Granddaughters that see grandpa and their own father as sexist creeps for wanting to protect them. A wife who sees her husband and father in law as misogynistic and not having their children’s and grandchildren’s best interests at heart. A mother who implicitly views her own husband as a sick pedophile lusting over his daughter on the grounds of saying as every parent says, “You look so grown up!”. Parents across the nation alienating their kids from their grandparents, aunts and uncles over politics, ideas the children don’t even know about or care about yet. Teaching the kids that an opposing opinion is immoral, and the person holding it is bad and to be written off without hearing why they have that “offending” opinion. If that isn’t division, then what is??? I have liberals and conservatives in my family, and among my friends. If I alienated everyone who doesn’t think exactly like me, I’d be one lonely person! 😉

Image result for divided over politics cartoon

My Womanhood is NOT Your Costume…

Transgenderism is a hot and contentious topic for the Left, with many angles at play! The part I want to focus on in all this lunacy though, is on the premise the Left has put out in that since gender is a mere social construct, it justifies the legitimacy of recognizing transgender people, especially women, as being entitled to be treated as if they were actual biological women (or men, but I’ll focus on women for the scope of this article)! Their argument is that gender is a social construct, something society raises you to be, rather than an innate quality. They further add the confusion that the undeniable biological aspect is now written off as its own separate thing as one’s “sex”, but “gender” is the purely social aspect, such as wearing certain clothing, or liking certain things over others. In essence, it really comes down to a nature vs. nurture debate, and how fluid these concepts really are.

Now, I will say up front, I don’t think that many people who label themselves transgender are being insincere or that they just want to be say, a woman on a superficial whim. I think many truly do feel they were born in the wrong body, and have sympathy for how much that must hurt and how utterly confusing that must be. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone! However, society deciding that this is normal for a person to feel about themselves is absurd, not just a normal biological variation! I also argue that the idea of “gender as a social construct” brings with it many detrimental and frankly insulting implications that many take for granted and completely overlook!

First off though, what are we really saying when we say that? It’s not just a neutral statement of a proposed fact. No! It’s the logical flaw that by implying it’s not a natural trait, and it’s not innate, it doesn’t matter at all. The real idea behind this is that gender should be obsolete, and because it’s not something we consider natural anymore, it’s completely outdated and irrelevant! What we really mean by “gender is a social construct” is that “gender is something artificially imposed and needs to be gotten rid of”.  That statement is loaded, and carries a very heavy value judgement! If it were natural, in Left’s mind, they couldn’t undermine and de-legitimize it as easily..

But, you know what also is a “social construct”? Race! That’s right, the Left now says race too is not grounded in biology, but in society’s whims! However, can we be trans-racial??? Heck no! Just ask that woman who was ousted for being biologically white, but identified as black! If a white person tries to do so, they are automatically being racist, and appropriating someone’s race! One may argue, “but racial differences are very obvious, so you’d know someone cannot be another race…” but don’t men and women look different? And not just clothes, make up and hair! Men grow beards, women don’t. Men’s bodies are bigger, stockier, stronger, differently shaped. Not to mention what’s down below! 😉 Humans after all, are a sexually dimorphic species! The argument against racial appropriation by the Left, that especially if white, you can’t just wear say, a black person’s styles, appropriate their music, their traditions, their food, their heritage and claim you’re one of them, is based on the idea that you haven’t been through their struggles. You want the “fun” aspects of being them, but you haven’t faced their hardships. Haven’t faced their struggles, their obstacles, and to add insult to injury, you’re part of why they have those struggles. Yet, you want to claim their unique heritage as your own??? The nerve!

Well, guess what? This should apply to gender too! If what the Left says is true, about women being disadvantaged, then what gives a man the right to appropriate what belongs to women? If women are living in fear of being assaulted by men, raped by men, paid less than men, devalued as lesser, then why on Earth should a man get to appropriate their unique heritage, in other words, as women? If it is true, as many Leftists believe, that men have male privilege, just like whites have white privilege, then isn’t it privilege to be able to just pick and choose to express one’s self as the female gender but have the option of going back to being a man when convenient? It’s just like a white person wearing blackface! They can take off the color at the end of the day. A person of color has to live with it, and the stigma it allegedly brings. Well same for gender! A guy can take off the dress, the heels, the make up, shave his head again. A woman, however, cannot just transform into a man and all her troubles will go away! She cannot take off her “costume” so she won’t be assaulted, raped, paid less, devalued. She has to live with the struggles too, not just the perks. The man in the dress can punch the attacker, throw off the rapist, while she is helpless to throw off someone twice her strength! Even if he decides to never live as a man again, he still can get the upper hand with his physically stronger body! Also, in line with the Left’s concept of privilege, isn’t it a form of privilege to be able to just throw away your privilege??? A man choosing to be a woman gives up his “male privilege” and swapping it for vulnerability and scorn. However, as “oppressed” as he then makes himself, he chose to take on that. A real woman didn’t. She was born with the fact she would have far greater chances of being assaulted, raped, devalued. She does not have the luxury to throw away privilege wantonly, nor gain it by becoming a man!

No. It’s NOT a two way street. Transgender men are not just “one of the guys”. They do not have extra “privilege”. However, a transgender woman now must be treated as a full woman by Leftist decree! Even if he genuinely feels like he wants to live his life as a woman and never go back, he can. That’s the thing. And that he had the choice to give up his “privilege” of being a man in the Left’s allegedly “patriarchal” society. Real women never have those luxuries. Just like a white person can impersonate, and maybe even genuinely feel like a black person, but has the choice to go back to being white and on top, to take off the “costume”. If a guy wanting to be a girl wants to wear the pretty dresses, the heels, curl his hair, go to the girl’s nights as one of the girls, hang at the mall, do all the fun things women like to do, he should also have had to face her struggles. To be afraid to walk alone at night. To carry pepper spray. To know the fear of being harassed on the street. To be held back on the job. Underestimated, viewed as weak, a victim. Why should someone get to reap in the rewards, without having to go through the struggles? Do I believe the world is really so bleak for women? Not as much as the Left certainly does! But by the Left’s own logic and views on women being oppressed, this is a logical argument…

Also, and less obvious, is a quite insulting implication inherent in this argument: That womanhood, as a social construct, is merely just a superficial costume that anyone can put on… The idea that all womanhood really is, is putting on a dress and heels and make up, styling your hair, and doing “girly things”. As long as you do those, you’re a woman! However, I and many other women would disagree! There’s so much more than superficial looks or going through the motions involved in the intangible parts of womanhood.  The sisterhood all women share together in their deep experiences, and very natures runs far deeper than our make up, our heels, or dresses and hair. Liking shopping and fashion and traditional womanly things is not all there is to our very essence, our unique humanity as women. See, also like one’s race, one’s sex does indeed affect how you perceive the world, and how the world perceives you. Women do not have the same upbringing, the same experiences as men, not because there’s a mass conspiracy that half of humanity wants to oppress us, but because of the simple fact we are NOT men!

Our trillion or so cells speak the plain and simple truth: we are different in our very core. Study after study shows girls consistently play in a more nurturing way than boys. We evolved to nurture, to be more gentle, to be social. We evolved to be the child bearers, and experience the wonders of motherhood, which no man will ever experience. Even the Left acknowledges this in its anti-man “you can never have an opinion on women’s issues because you aren’t a woman!”. See? Even they know, deep down men and women are innately different! That our experiences differ. Our challenges differ. Our womanhood runs far deeper than any costume, any “social construct”, yet, the Left argues implicitly in the idea that a man can put on a dress, heels, inject some hormones, that he can be a woman through superficial behaviors alone, that womanhood is just an actor’s role to play and our feminine style a mere “costume” that can be taken on and off. Oh, and by the way, doesn’t the use of hormones help point to our biological differences too??? 😉  One can’t say hormones our bodies we’re genetically programmed to release upon puberty that make us different are a “social construct”!

Ladies, we are NOT just a costume that anyone can just put on and pretend to be! Our womanhood, our shared experiences, our challenges, the deep bond rooted in womanhood we share with our mothers from day 1 cannot be replicated in someone who is biologically, and socially, raised as a man! Even those who were raised to be men from infancy, but were biological women always felt “different” and not like just another “guy”… Same for girls who were guys inside… To say that womanhood is something anyone can be on a whim, on a feeling, is gravely belittling and insulting to women everywhere! It’s like a woman saying she can just experience every aspect of manhood, without his struggles, his upbringing, his innate nature.

Yes, I know people literally feel they were born in the wrong body, a woman’s soul/mind in a man’s body, but if you were raised as a man, are biologically a man, then no you can’t truly feel like a true woman, know what it is to be one, anymore than one can truly, intrinsically perceive the world like someone who’s a native speaker of a language can versus someone who happens to speak it fluently but was not raised from day 1, in the culture of the speaker! Yes, you can learn a language quite well, but you can never truly perceive the world and be a native speaker within their cultural matrix and have their exact perception of the world though their native tongue. That’s my analogy for experiencing the opposite sex’s world… You can play the part well, but you cannot truly be the real deal unless you are!

Look, I don’t demonize transgender people for wanting to be the other sex. What I do heavily criticize though, is the idea that they can be the exact same, and be entitled to the exact same treatment as a real woman in this case, because they never truly can be. And they know that themselves! Indeed! No matter how much they “transition”, they know in their heart of hearts they are not a woman in the same way as real biological women! They can come mighty close, even look like a woman, sound like one, like in the case of Jazz Jennings, maybe you can’t even tell just by looking. But do you honestly feel “women” like “her” truly, honestly, and 100% believe they are indeed women in every single sense of the word??? I’m not out to say she needs to switch back, or she’s out to hurt anyone personally. She’s probably just trying to genuinely live out “her” life as a woman.

However, she and the others set a precedent where society devalues our essence, our very humanity as women that only a real, biological woman can ever truly know. The inherent sexism in the idea that men can just be women upon their choice devalues our womanhood into a superficial acting job! If a person’s race is not your costume, a person’s culture is not your costume, why should a person’s gender or sex be someone else’s to appropriate? This is heresy for the Left to say, but I will say it loud and clear guys, : My womanhood is NOT your costume! 

Image result for transgender political cartoons but i say I'm a woman

He Had a Dream…

Perhaps one of the most iconic speeches of the past century was the “I Have a Dream” speech by Martin Luther King Jr. A civil rights activist, he truly was on the front line fighting the prejudices of his day. Prejudices that included segregation in schools and businesses, a world where a black person could be refused service, black children denied entrance at attractions, couldn’t even drink from the same water fountain, and yes, even lynched… His activism inspired others after him to mark a day in his honor for people to reflect on what his dream was and where we are today with it.

Now, most think that this topic resides more in Leftist discourse than conservative discourse, but I disagree! Yes, the Left has pushed the narrative of black oppression, and more widely, people of all races but white, and use MLK to prove their points. However, this is flawed. First of all, since when did the Left own the dream MLK gave the black community? Where in his speech does it say “I have a dream for black democrats…” I thought that dream was for everyone… The Left however, seeks to control the narrative of black oppression and of course, blames the white race.

Problem is, and I’ve covered this in far greater detail before in my “Breaking the Cycle” post, not all issues within the black community today are caused directly by white people and past oppression, such as the Jim Crow discrimination MLK did fight against! In a pop culture that embraces music with themes of gangsters, drugs, prostitutes and objectifying women, clothes that signal “I’m a gangster”, rundown neighborhoods condoning crime where promising young people are gunned down in their prime, anyone who wants better labeled uncle Toms and such, is not a society that breeds independence and respect! One honestly can’t blame one other race for injustices long past, for the current poverty and crime in a society that perpetuates it through their clothes, music, language, trashes their neighborhoods, bullies their best and brightest, objectifies women and where 75% or so are without a father figure, and has welfare cradle to grave rather than just to get back on their feet. Yes, you can be poor, and your past can disadvantage you greatly, but the past is gone now. Sounds brutal and cruel to say this so frankly, but change cannot happen until the truth is spelled out. MLK knew that when he called out the issues plaguing his generation!

Now, in the present day, and with a blank slate as a future, why not rewrite your story? Black people, who have been enslaved a century ago have broken the bonds of that servitude and created their own identity in America. Black people who were’t even allowed to be in the presence of white people now are able to go where they please, be friends with, even marry white people, things never dreamed of in the Jim Crow era not so long ago! Do people of color still face prejudice and injustices? Of course they do! But so does everybody else… Prejudice is as old as humanity, and far older than the modern notions of race! It’s how you fight back and overcome that prejudice that determines your strength, not your victimhood status like the Left wants to believe! See, being a victor and not a victim, as another inspiring conservative black leader Candace Owens says, does not mean you were never victimized and treated unjustly. It means you fought back and empowered yourself instead of capitalizing on your helplessness… The black community has risen out of Jim Crow and was once thriving in this country. However now, much of it is sinking back into the “hood”, a life of crime and welfare as a lifestyle…

Now do all black people embrace such a detrimental culture??? Absolutely not!!! Countless people of color are appalled, embarrassed, and saddened they are painted with that awful stereotype! Don’t take my word for it! Black conservatives like Thomas Sowell and Walter Williams say it outright: their community needs a huge change! They, and other rising black leaders, such as Candace Owens who formed the current #Blexit Movement for people of color to leave the Leftist narrative of dependency and victimhood, and CJ Pearson, another rising young black conservative on Twitter, want more for their neighborhoods, their race, and their society. To them, skin color does not define who they are, what their destiny will be and what they have to think.

Race does not define a person’s character, actions do. That is the core message of MLK’s activism. The segregation, discrimination, poverty and such of his time was fueled by this notion that the black race was inherently inferior, subhuman and less deserving due to their skin color, their genetics, and a flawed view that their inherent natures were inferior to the white race. Luckily this attitude is being destroyed more and more in the present day. Black people have achieved greatness. Proven themselves just as much of value as anyone else. One was our president (albeit not a great one!) for two terms. Point is, do you honestly imagine that happening in 1960??? If people of color can achieve the presidency for two terms in a row, then why are so so many disproportionately in prisons and poverty? The Left has an easy answer: racism. However, the truth is far more nuanced, including of course, internal societal attitudes about crime and education…

I admire conservatives of color and think they too, have their own dream. I can’t speak for them with 100% certainty, but I do believe they would likely have these dreams:

A dream where their race is defined by their merit, not their skin color via affirmative action…

A dream where their communities want more than just gangs and poverty…

A dream where a generation graduates high school and goes onto college and beyond in record numbers, not in prisons disproportionately to the rest of the US population!

A dream where all little boys and girls are raised with loving involved fathers and intact families…

A dream where their race represents the top CEO’s, business men and women, professors, academics, doctors, lawyers, in people’s minds, not a welfare or victimhood stereotype!

A dream where every young aspiring student is applauded for getting great grades and scholarships to fine institutions, celebrate as the best and brightest, not derided as an uncle Tom or beaten if caught with a book…

A dream where their leaders challenge them into action, not lull them into complacency with dependence and victimhood to gain more votes…

A dream ultimately, where they’re seen as people, period. Not defined by traits merely skin deep by anyone!

Yes, they too, have their own dream! Dreams of being just like everyone else, who is successful, driven, determined, bright and passionate to make a real and lasting change! That is MLK’s legacy. Not something dated from the 60’s, but the message that change can, and must be made continuously as new challenges arise. He truly was a victor, NOT a victim! To all conservatives of color: I admire your perseverance, your strength, and determination in the face of prejudice of not just those who shun conservatives and the frank truths in our world, but from your own communities, your own people, a party who thinks they own you and your goals, dreams and aspirations! Always remember, YOU define you, NOT your skin color!

Happy MLK day 🙂

Image result for black conservative cartoons ben garrison

Oh, and for those who will cry “racist!” at me and think I’m pulling this all out of my butt, take a look at these:

Black student rejects victimhood status: ‘I am going to break stereotypes’

Civil Suit Filed As Gifted Black Girl Bullied For “Acting White,” Principal Refused To Act

Walter William’s Insights…

Thomas Sowell’s Wisdom

And more and more are walking away!…