You Do Have a Point, But….

It’s no surprise to many conservatives that the Left likes to attack us with ad hominems, smear us, attack our character, ruin our reputations and chalk us up to being closed minded bigots. Standing by our convictions and being apart from what’s the popular attitude of the moment has cost us friends, networking, even jobs and family connections! Despite being the silent majority, we certainly don’t feel like it! I of course, have had my fair share of observing this too, as I am putting my views out there online in an open forum. And contrary to what many on the Left believe about fellow conservatives and myself, we can attest to not being simply “closed minded bigots” in our motivations for taking a seemingly harsher view on certain issues.

See, what may surprise many liberals who automatically dismiss everything I have to say simply because I support Trump as president, or consider myself a conservative is that my views are actually more nuanced than your cherry picking of them are. Why would that be? Well here’s the surprise:

I think you have valid points too in many of your positions which I do have to acknowlege and take into consideration when I argue my own viewpoint. 

It’s not always a cake walk rebutting every point you make, albeit I will say many are easily refutable too! The reason why we end up on opposite sides of the debate though is because while I do think your basic premise sounds valid on its face, there are nuances that I add that lead me to the conclusion that premise does not extend that far, or there are caveats you need to understand, or maybe, there’s a middle ground between either extreme, and guess what? I DO make these caveats in my articles about various issues, but thus far, I’ve observed very few of my critics directly address them, instead choosing to ignore those for my more extreme views only as if I never made a nuance in my argument. So here are some examples of places where I can see your point too, but why I end up disagreeing with your overall position and the nuances you overlooked when you rebutted me:

I understand the need to keep our leaders accountable and within the law, including Trump. However, making baseless accusations not backed up by facts then never admitting what he does right reflects far more on you than him. Also, why turn a blind eye to accountability within your own party leaders?

I understand the idea of being able to step out of an uncomfortable situation that would bringing up uncomfortable feelings and past trauma. I’ve done it too. However, safe spaces in college for example, only hinder your own personal growth as I realized as I matured, I needed to challenge myself to feel uncomfortable at times to grow intellectually.

I understand that we are a nation of immigrants and others should get the chance our ancestors did too. However I also know that we need to put our current citizens’ needs first before we can extend the hand to others.

On a related note, I really don’t mind immigrants keeping their own cultural heritage, traditions, language, dress, food, music, faith, holidays, etc… in America anymore than I mind Germans hosting Oktoberfest, or the Italian community having Fiesta. However, there’s a difference between being proud of your heritage and keeping cultural traditions alive, and imposing them on others and demanding to be accommodated instead of adapting also to our culture too such as also learning our language and embracing our values of hard work, democracy and equality. It’s NOT an either or choice! You can do BOTH.

I understand the world is not perfect and not every child can be wanted or born into a good situation financially, emotionally and physically. I realize part of respecting the sanctity of life also means the quality of that life matters more than simply being biologically alive. I also realize the mother has rights too including her own right to live. However, the idea that the child has no rights at all and abortion is simply a healthcare choice for the mother’s convenience instead of the weighty ethical decision involving the  termination of a human life is not something I will accept.

I understand we cannot live in fear and paranoia just because of some bad apples out there and forget to be kind and accepting and see the good in people, but we also cannot let our guard down and let a bad apple hurt our country and its citizens.

I understand some have more “privilege” than others they were lucky to be born with, but they cannot control their gender or skin color anymore than you can control your race or gender that may disadvantage you. Making people feel guilty and putting the onus on them to solve your problems is as unfair as asking you to change something you cannot simply because you were born a certain way. Also note, race and gender are not the only things that make someone have “privilege”. A good socioeconomic status and strong support network work wonders…

I understand many transgender people are not bad people, nor do they want to go out and victimize others, but simply want to live how they wish. However, my issue is not with legitimate trans women but those who will use that as an excuse to prey on women in women’s spaces and dominate women’s sports unfairly due to physical strength and endurance exceeding women’s, or my issue is with trans men who insist they are capable of the physical strength of a man but are biological women weakening our defenses such as the armed forces. I don’t wish ill will on those who suffer greatly in a body they feel is not their own, but I also cannot accept that their needs outweigh the other 99%’s needs.

I understand we need to treat everyone of all colors fairly and equally, and make sure they are not being discriminated against. However that also extends to the majority too as true equality is not what you take away from someone who already is on top, and giving it to the bottom, but giving the bottom what the top already has so EVERYONE has the same rights and privileges. Shutting down white people’s opinions or not hiring someone because they’re white citing past inequality only creates reverse discrimination.

I understand that we should be aware of what we say so we don’t hurt someone, but they should be aware not everything people say that sounds hurtful was meant to be and that maybe it was you who misinterpreted what they really meant. Also, I understand we should not be going out of our way to be “offensive” and rude, but not everything needs to be taken so gravely nor is it meant to genuinely offend. Also, sometimes, the truth hurts but needs to be acknowledged despite offending people.

As a woman, I understand that women have not always had ideal treatment by society. However, women have more power and greater freedom than countless other places in the world here in America. Whining about a tampon tax or pink razors for women or the fact a guy told you to smile once does not compare to having acid thrown in your face for not hiding it and being sold as a “wife”, (a.k.a sex slave) by your father to a man at age 12. Nor do we need to be like men and take on traditional men’s roles to be “empowered” and autonomous human beings.

Among other examples!

And to make one final important point, why can’t we just talk? Why can’t instead of dismissing me as a closed minded bigot who is all wrong, actually tell me why I’m wrong and give me specific examples? Now, I do acknowlege the few who do make more nuanced arguments against my arguments and I commend them. I’m talking to those who just want to endlessly rant about me being wrong and a bigot without giving any substantive counter arguments of their own, or simply showing me where I messed up. I’m not allergic to facts and figures. I’m not dismissive if someone makes the effort to try and educate me on a topic in a scholarly manner coming from a desire to help. What I do shut down though, are the ranters and ravers who only want to be a troll. I honestly would love to know why you didn’t vote Trump without going into an unhinged tirade of accusations without telling me why you think they’re true. Or more specifically why you might feel it’s unjustified to say Western Culture is beneficial compared to the 3rd world, or why you want more illegals in the country, or more gun control, or less strict abortion laws, why you believe white privilege is a thing, or why you think we need safe spaces etc…etc…

One critic of mine claimed they were a cultural anthropologist. Well guess what? I’m very interested in anyone who’s an academic in a scientific field and what they have to say and why. Instead of ranting and raving about me being wrong based off you being a cultural anthropologist, why not actually take the time to educate me, one lover of anthropology to another and not righteous SJW to some bigot, why my arguments about Western Culture are wrong beyond simply crying “past oppression!” Side note to all the scholars out there who disagree with me, I want to learn from your expertise and find out why you think I’m wrong. However I learn nothing from you just flaunting your credentials at me then proceeding to simply state I’m wrong. Unlike your stereotypes of conservatives, I do not embrace pseudo-scientific bunk and hate intellectuals! You may be shocked to find out I have a deep passion for topics such as the natural and social sciences.

Overall, if you simply critique my views from a desire to educate me and help, I’m not offended nor dismissive of you. I will listen, even if we end up not agreeing after the fact. I can respect a well made argument against me and maybe even modify my own views. Just stop the ranting, raving and personal attacks. And next time you criticize my position, please take the time to read the caveats and acknowlege them!

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But It’s Their Reality…

This has been an observation I’ve had for a long time now observing my Leftist friends, classmates and coworkers: Apparently, we DON’T attend the same school, work at the same job, nor live in the same society even! Yes, we see each other on a regular basis in the same settings, but our perceptions of our reality couldn’t be more black and white! As if somehow I have a completely alien experience compared to everyone else! Why? To be honest, I’m not quite sure…

Let’s start with my most startling observation… My college experience. When I was in college, I thought I picked an amazing school. A beautiful campus. Nice housing. Great food. Warm and welcoming people who welcome you with open arms into the school community and reach out to make everyone feel welcome. An administration that cares about its students, good security, faculty who are excellent in their fields and deliver a high caliber education. What more can you ask for? However, all I heard from many of my peers was “This school has nothing to offer academically”, “The campus police are incompetent and ignore real issues”, “The administration keeps secrets and isn’t transparent enough in addressing student concerns”, and even more shockingly:

There are too many white students and they’re rude and racist toward students of color…

Women are afraid to even go out of their dorms in broad daylight going to class because of men harassing and cat calling them and that there are “several known rapists on campus!”

Now I know for a fact both statements were false when I went to school. All I’ve ever known was a warm, welcoming, inclusive community who opened their arms to all students.  I never once say any white students being openly rude to a student of color, refusing to be near them, to be friends, much less being blatantly racist! Not once have I ever seen outright bullying, or even as much as a “microaggression”. As for the allegations of harassment, I also have never experienced anything even remotely close to the sort as a woman myself. Not even walking back from a late night dance at 12:00 am! Much less in broad daylight going to a class on a random Tuesday for example, walking to a class nor were there ever hoards of  predatory men just waiting to harass women. Yet some of my fellow female classmates said they were harassed daily simply going to lunch by men whereas I was never even spoken to by a guy unless it was to say “hi” or “excuse me” to get past me. Now, I’m not saying there were never instances of racism or sexism on campus that I simply wasn’t privy to, of course there are always isolated incidents. But as a pattern and a campus culture as a whole? Nope! I lived on campus as much as they did yet never once witnessed a blatant act of racism or harassment, or even a remotely rude one… My experience at college was amazing at a great school with great support for those who are serious about studying and not just goofing off. They wouldn’t tolerate such antics and issues such as blatant harassment.

So where on Earth was all of this coming from? I really don’t know for sure, but my best guess is that they are simply looking for something to virtue signal over and be a group. The people in question making such allegations were all far Left, and in that light, perhaps it’s not too surprising they seemed to have an alternate reality! See, if they can whine collectively about something in their reality, they feel much more satisfied. In their reality, they lived in a racist cesspit of “white privilege” for four years of college. In their reality, they were harassed by men on a day to day basis and knew several rapists prowling around campus. But keep in mind, in the Left’s reality, EVERYTHING is either racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic etc…etc…

Of course, this is not confined to whiny entitled college kids who learn far Left. Leftists in general seem to have a separate reality in society at large! A country of opportunity, freedom and some of the best standards of living in their perception is one of inescapable poverty, racism, sexism, intolerance, xenophobia, one devoid of opportunities except for the top 1% to name a few! The party who deems itself the most accepting and tolerant, to everyone else, cannot tolerate anyone who thinks differently without labeling them as a bad person. The party of anti-racism only sees racist perspectives in regards to white people scapegoating them for everyone else’s issues. A party that thinks women are 3rd class in America where women in 3rd world countries are treated like dirt and even killed outright. The party who thinks the West is the worst culture on Earth despite higher standards of living and technology as well as progressive social values such as democracy and equality.

A party that lets in illegals in record numbers saying they aren’t a threat despite thousands on welfare, in jails and hiking up the violent crime rates. A party that sees legal gun owners as the enemy while criminals with no regard for gun laws are free to shoot as they please unhindered by law abiding citizens. A party that sees Trump as a fascist, racist tyrant akin to Adolph Hitler when we now have a better economy, trade deals, healthcare and a president who puts America first. A party that purports to stand for social “justice” creates ideologies that uphold double standards, inequalities and injustice. To the Left, they ARE the answer for society, but to everyone else, are creating more inequality, divisiveness and seem to be living on a different planet! Then again, it’s their reality!

No matter what you can never please them either! You do one thing to be more inclusive, it’s not inclusive enough to the next group! Or it’s too inclusive and one group wants another excluded from their little clique. Take for example the “Vagina Monologues” written to “empower” radical feminist women. Once lauded, now are deemed not inclusive enough because and I quote, “not all women have vaginas!” One progressive idea this week becomes un PC the next week. The Left’s problems in addition to being formed from an entirely different perception of the world, also cannot be solved in a reasonable way now either as what is “woke” today is forbidden tomorrow!

Well guess what Lefties? I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again! Your reality is not THE reality! In the absence of actual observations, evidence, statistics, etc… then most likely, your assertions that in an attentive warm and friendly school there are swarms of racists and predators, illegals are harmless when countless people have been murdered by them, legally owned guns the the issue when criminals use theirs without the law, women are treated like dirt in America when women in the 3rd world are killed, maimed and abused by men who see them as nothing, America is a land of tyranny when other countries like Venezuela are on the brink of a coup by starving citizens, and our current president is Adolph Hitler when he has made far more progress than 8 years of the previous guy, society is racist when they elected a president of color for 2 terms in a row etc…etc… Maybe, just maybe, you might want to reassess “your reality”…

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(Oh, and  P.S. , please stop moving the goal posts whenever you’ve been out-debated by more reasoned logic than your own. But that’s for a whole other post 😉 )

Your Choice, Their Body…

I’m sure you all have heard of the recent laws being passed in several states restricting women’s abilities to get abortions. For many, it’s a victory in the fight to recognize the human right to life for the unborn, but for others, it comes as a severe blow for women’s rights to her bodily autonomy. Abortion is an incredibly heated topic, perhaps more so than all the others I’ve covered on this blog! Regardless of where you personally stand on the issue, I think much of the controversy rests in the fact that many pro-choice people miss the points the pro-life side is trying to make. The pro-choice side sees it as a struggle against the “patriarchy” over obsessive control over women’s bodies and has decided that men have no say in the matter, and argue that person hood and the rights that come with it don’t start until birth. However, the pro-life arguments I have heard have nothing to do with obsessively controlling what women do with their bodies, and all about protecting any ethical concerns regarding the person hood and right to life of the developing fetus. To many pro-life people, they define those rights beginning at conception. Some define it after a heart beat begins at around 6 weeks. Some factor in the when ability for pain and suffering would be present in the equation.

As to my own personal views on the matter, I will only say this right now: The issue is not all black and white, but ANY viewpoint or decision on the matter has to be about the child’s interests, NOT what’s merely convenient for mom! I’m honestly enraged by the blasé attitude of “my body my choice”, because the child growing inside of you is its own entity despite needing your body for survival for the first 9 months. Yes, bearing a child to term is a drain on your body, but just because your already born kids are a drain on your bank account doesn’t give you the moral right to terminate your parenthood over them, now does it?… Why not a “my bank account, my rules” clause too that relives parents of the legal obligation to feed and clothe their kids as well? A fetus depends on your body but is NOT part of your body and regardless if you are pro-choice or pro-life that’s just biology. It is not your cells. It is not your DNA. It often is not your blood type, and what many women find out the hard way, nor your Rh factor. The REAL crux of the issue is not about whether or not it’s biologically part of your own body, but the point at which it gains its own moral person hood and human rights in its own interests apart from yours, which is a nuanced and contentiously debated issue!

And nuanced and high stakes ethical issues require all sides be on the same page as to what’s being argued. I can respect arguments about the quality of life for the child after it’s born, as part of honoring life is understanding that all life is sacred, but the quality of that life matters just as much as being biologically alive. I can understand arguments about the mother’s health and safety in extreme cases other than mere inconvenience or some discomfort. What I cannot and will not consider though, is the total disregard for the fact that there even is a separate life to consider in the equation! 

The radical Leftist pro-choice side has lost more and more credibility with me the more they deny there are any rights to be considered for the child and couch their arguments in terms of convenience and argue strawmans about some mythical right-wing fundamentalist “patriarchy” in a mass conspiracy to get women pregnant and keep them that way. Really? The guys would have to pay child support for the next 18 years then! If they were being selfish and callous, they would encourage MORE abortions! He wants to cover up his mistake too… Oh, and the idea terminating a life is merely a “medical procedure” sounds chilling to both sides in any other context… Conversely, I have only gained more respect for pro-life arguments which do consider the interests of the unborn child above all else, because that’s what a parent does, and I agree parenthood morally begins once you know you’re pregnant, (and many on either side agree in terms of drinking and drugs while pregnant…) and parents put their children first above all else. Do I think the mother has zero rights herself? No, but while every life is sacred and person deserving of their human rights including mom, a mother puts her children first.

However, we could avoid this entire issue and the ugly realities it brings out for both sides of the debate if people could have the self control to not pop out unwanted kids then feel the need to clean up the mess! In that I agree with the pro-choice side: Your body, your choice, but also your consequences! With freedom, comes responsibility ladies. If you expect a man to step up to the plate if you choose to keep your baby, then why can’t you hold yourself to that same standard? Sex is NOT a right, and it’s certainly not a right to bring a child into this world you can’t care for and won’t want to! Prevention is the best cure!

Oh, and to the women on sex strike not raising future kids they will resent or turn into soy boys or radical man haters, thank you for this wonderful gift to humanity! 😉

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(Oh, and P.S., all the conservative men said “NO!” first 😉 )

Ladies, Be Empowered!

This is addressed to my fellow women out there. I’ve covered much of the flaws of feminist thinking, especially along #MeToo lines in sexual assault prevention, which is basically zero. I’ve also covered in several articles my argument for more personal accountability to lessen one’s risks of assault as well as holding the perpetrator accountable too. Look, I know this topic isn’t all that pleasant, and very serious, but it must be addressed head on. I agree with the Left that misconceptions are a roadblock to empowering women to fight back against sexual assault, but I argue that it is in fact their side, that is fostering dangerous misconceptions about sexual assault.

Their basic premise is that too often, we shift the blame on the victim rather than the perpetrator and even go so far as to say we created a “rape culture” where rape is not only tolerated, but thought of as a man’s “right”. They say that the only thing that causes rape is the rapist, and nothing else. Therefore, one cannot talk about how alcohol or drugs play a role. Nor other poor risky choices such as becoming isolated or suggestive behavior/dress. Now, I will say that they are correct that one does indeed, need a rapist, to commit rape. Alcohol, sexy clothes, drugs, partying, does not literally cause a rape to happen, just as gun violence can only happen if someone pulls the trigger. However, the above factors do indeed create an increased risk of victimization, and are correlated with incidents of sexual assault.

Rapists are going to rape no matter what, because if you are at the point where you feel entitled to rape someone, you don’t care one bit about how it will impact your victim. You may not even care what they are wearing either, as many argue rape is more about power than sexuality. However, barring any empathy for your victim, you still have to choose one! So, which girl, if you would put yourself in the mindset of a callous rapist, but doesn’t want to get caught, would you choose? The girl who’s sober, more modestly dressed surrounded by 5 other girlfriends, (a.k.a. witnesses) at the party, or the one who’s almost blackout drunk, isolated, and in suggestive clothing that can be used as an excuse later in court in your favor? Who do you think would be noticed more if missing? Who do you think would put up less of a fight?

Now, does either girl deserve to get raped? Absolutely not! No one ever “deserves” rape, and nothing ever “justifies” rape. However, the cold, hard ugly truth of the matter is, one girl is more at risk than the other to be chosen as the next victim. Rapists will indeed rape no matter what whenever they find the chance, but it’s on us, ladies, to make sure he has the least amount of chances possible to target us. Causation for increasing your risk is not justification for the crime! Is it fair that we must go out of our way to look out for creeps? NO! But that’s reality. We shouldn’t need to watch out for each other at parties, or a girls’ night out. We shouldn’t have to worry about trusting the guy to take us home safely. Or buy us that drink and worry if he drugged it. We should be able to dress as sexy as we want without any unwanted advances. However, what we should be able to do and what we are able to do without putting ourselves more at risk aren’t identical.

And yes, sometimes, rape will happen when we do everything right to lessen our chances. Rapists will rape, we get it… But isn’t that true for any crime? A burglar can still smash in your window even when you lock your door every night, but does that mean you shouldn’t bother to lock your doors? We talk about more emphasis on teaching boys not to rape and assault women, instead of teaching girls how to empower themselves and lessen their risks in the logic that the solution is solely on telling men not to rape.

However, look at it this way: We teach our children not to steal, yet there are still thieves. Should the solution for burglary be simply to teach people to not steal and call any attempt at advising people to lock their doors or hide their valuables victim blaming? After all, no one has the right to steal your stuff no matter where you leave it! Similarly, there are still rapists despite teaching boys not to rape. The crime is not going away in both cases sadly. So what are we to do? Just sit around on our hands and complain about the obvious injustice, or do something to protect ourselves from becoming a victim, even if it means making inconvenient and yes, unfair, lifestyle adjustments?

Ladies, we need to live in the world as it is, not live in the world that we want it to be. Even if that world demands a “sexist” or un-PC answer to lessening our risk. We ARE judged by how we dress, whether we like it or not. Wearing sexy, provocative clothing, while never justifying any unwanted advances, sends off the signal that you want a consensual interaction and if the wrong guy who’s a complete callous jerk feels you “led him on”, yes, some will cross that line into assault. It’s ugly and unfair, wildly unfair and unjust, but ladies, this is the reality we live in. It’s not about simple morality, or saying that the girl in the sexy dress is morally “lesser” or “bad” and deserves assault, but it is about the fact that as unfair as it is, you ARE judged by how you choose to present yourself, and a real rapist can use it as an excuse in his sick twisted mind to justify harming you.

Drinking until you’re black out drunk, going off alone with a strange guy at the party, taking a drink that could be roofied easily etc… increases your chances of victimization and puts you in a vulnerable position. No, alcohol doesn’t cause rape to happen, but it does increase your risk the rapist will target you because you can’t physically resist or even say “no”. Going off alone with no witnesses and no one to step in to protect you is the perfect way to be victimized. Is this fair? Is it fair that women need to be careful instead of just being carefree when out for the night? Of course not! But as said before, this is the cold hard reality of the world we live in.

Saying all this is bound to draw the ire of many screaming “victim blaming!”, but this is no more victim blaming than suggesting one lock their doors or hide valuables to lessen chances of a burglary. Rapes can happen even after every base is covered. But so can burglaries. So can any crime. NO set of precautions has a 100% guarantee or covers every situation. That however, doesn’t mean we don’t take those precautions. Yes, the rapist could be someone you know and trust. Yes it can happen elsewhere than parties. Yes, more subtle coercion could be involved. Yes, I know all those things! That however does not belittle the merits of precautions against rapes that do happen with strangers, or in parties for instance. You may not be able to avoid one scenario, but does that mean “Why bother learning how to avoid the other”? Sure, the burglar can just smash in my window, but he sure won’t come through my door if I can help it! 😉

Ladies, it’s also not black and white. I’m not saying you can never party, you can never go out, you can never wear that “cute little number” to the club on girls’ night, you can never have a drink or hang out with a guy. We don’t have to dress like nuns and never leave our homes! All I’m proposing is to be aware. Awareness is half the battle, and with a good dose of awareness and common sense, you can have that night out of fun and be as safe as you can. Empowerment is liberating, not constraining. The awareness to know what the risk factors are, and how to avoid them is liberating, as you can live your life, just be aware and vigilant. When we drive, we learn the rules of the road. When we choose where to live, we look into crime rates. We have fire drills. We have emergency drills. We look over our shoulder in that sketchy area. We hide our valuables. We do all these things AND live a normal life full of excitement and fun. Can we do everything we want, (drink to excess, dress like we’re turning tricks, go off with every guy in the bar etc… etc..)? No. But in moderation, and with awareness of the risks, we can weigh our chances and act accordingly.

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When it’s Not Just “A Matter of Opinion”…

I sincerely believe that many issues can be debated in a mindful and nuanced way, and that many topics are multidimensional and complex in that there truly is no one simple solution that can be solved by one side or the other 100%. I also argue that it’s wrong and misguided to demonize people over an opposing view, disregarding how they got to their opinion and what motivated them to feel as they do. The vast majority of issues are not all black and white, even ones people are strongly polarized over and strongly feel theirs is the only moral opinion. There are always mitigating circumstances, unique cases, exceptions to rules, gray areas to be seen etc… that make each issue very much a case by case basis. There is room for open mindedness and still staying strong in your own convictions. The two are not mutually exclusive! It is possible to hear the other side out, while sticking to your guns, so to speak. It is also not a weakness to change your opinion, or modify it in light of new information. I have done that over my journey too…

However, that said, I do also feel that certain issues are more ethically and morally salient than others, and therefore, must be more strongly debated. Yes, some issues cannot simply be written off as “Let’s agree to disagree”. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to make an arch enemy out of your friends, family, classmates, coworkers, etc… who hold the opposing view, but I’m talking on a societal level and a policy-making level. It is true one cannot easily “legislate morality”, but our laws reflect the moral code we embrace as a society. Not stealing. Not murdering. Not cheating people. Yes, I also realize there is a fine line between “public safety” and “nanny state”. We do need autonomy and individual choice in society as well. Society serves us, and while we must work together to keep it running smoothly, we’re not its slaves. However, without morality, there is social anarchy. As for the things we really can’t legislate per se, our de facto rules and attitudes in society can do just as much or even more harm than what is written into our laws and policies. After all, society really doesn’t change until we agree it should, no matter what any law says.

If you were to ask me about one area I’d advocate taking a more firm stance on in terms of fighting harder to get my way, I’d say it would be in matters of safety and risk of lasting harm. It’s one thing to argue the subtle nuances of fairness, what’s fair or not, and that’s important too. But there is more moral wiggle room. When policies and attitudes harm people, a clear line is drawn. We’ve all heard the phrase “Your rights end where another’s begins…” 🙂 When real harm is done, physically, and yes, emotionally in certain cases, or real danger is present, then yes, the debate just got more high stakes. So to me at least, while I can and will listen openly to other arguments for why something may not be so high stakes and such a big deal, I will speak out to stop policies and ideologies that are doing real and lasting harm. It’s not just “a matter of opinion” when:

Illegals and refugees are bringing in crime and 3rd world values of oppression and inequality and case after case of murder victims murdered by an illegal.

Biological men can go into a bathroom or locker room with women and girls under the guise of being transgender putting them at risk for sexual assaults.

Children aren’t safe in school from the thugs bused in from the rough neighborhoods to support some social agenda or when no one is safe in their once safe neighborhood due to policies bringing in thugs and a culture of crime.

A generation is raised in broken families, where live in boyfriend replaced dad, and mom resents the kids from her marriage with her ex. Where children are now primed for an increased chance of mental illness, depression, and risky behaviors.

Parents feel entitled to make decisions “consequence free” that will do deep and lasting harm to their children emotionally, scarring them for life for the sake of an adult’s convenience or happiness, over a child’s need for stability and love.

A society where young women are told that they need to be promiscuous to be empowered, risking STD’s, sexual assault, and a damaged self-image/esteem leading to vulnerability and abuse.

The attitude of it’s “blaming the victim” to tell young women how to empower themselves to decrease their risk for assault creates a false sense of security and opens them up to fall right into the predator’s trap.

The men in our lives can be accused and have their lives destroyed on a whim by #MeToo witch hunts with no other evidence than a Y chromosome and a stereotype.

Our country is defended by a weaker less able military in the name of “gender equality”.

A human life is considered an inconvenience easily disposed of and honoring its human rights is a “choice”.

Anti-Gun policies enable the mass shooter bent on destruction of human life to come in to your child’s school and shoot without hindrance or the shooter at the movie theater, or the mall, at work, or anywhere you go since no one is armed but him!

Terrorism reins free here and abroad, creating a world of distrust, suspicion, and obviously, lost lives and property. A world where going for a vacation is your last choice on this Earth, going to work and never coming home, going on a trip to see a beautiful attraction in a country just like our own is now too dangerous, a car veering off the road is more than just an accident, an unknown package requires the bomb squad, etc… etc…

A country that turns a blind eye to crime rates by demographic, calls for abolishing border protection, schools that cover up instances of sexual assault due to transgender policies from the parents of the victims, news reports that don’t give the description of a wanted suspect due to race or other minority status etc… etc…

Science and academia is suppressed from publishing research studies that conflict with the party line that would help people suffering and provide better solutions to many social issues.

A country where starving citizens, homeless veterans, needy children and families, hardworking people who just need that extra leg up, are brushed aside for outsiders or fellow citizens able to support themselves coming to take our resources for themselves without giving back. The detrimental effects are real: Homelessness, hunger, poor health, etc…

The media reports false information to support an agenda that takes our focus off the real dangers to look out for and be aware of.

And so many others. These are all tangible dangers that affect our society greatly, due to societal attitudes and policies. Our policies enable these injustices to go on and endanger ourselves, our family, our friends and our fellow citizens. So do our de facto attitudes that pressure people to turn a blind eye and just shut up. Well, someone has to speak up, and it needs to be all of us together. Someone to advocate for our families, our communities, our country. Someone to say, NO, it’s NOT up for debate when people’s lives are literally on the line. Someone to say that a person’s right to safety and freedom from harm matters more than any agenda or social experiment. Someone who is brave enough to say:

The safety of our families, communities, and country is NOT “a matter of opinion”!!!

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A PSA to The Left: You Don’t Have to Like Trump, Just Don’t Go Nuts…

Dear Liberals,

It’s me again… Another conservative out of many in this country. I’ve seen the way you’ve handled losing the 2016 election: With uncontrollable outrage and vitriol that hasn’t died down since the second you found out he got in. I’m impressed, honestly! I thought your tantrum would be old news and you would have simmered down within a month or so, but no! Two years and counting and coming up on the next election and all I can hear is “Racist!”, “Sexist!”, “Fascist!” etc… and of course, your favorite new slogan, “Impeach!!!” 

Now you say Trump deserves it, Trump is special, he’s done so much harm… And in light of any substantial evidence, I too want my president and other authority figures held accountable for their actions. However, I fail to see any substantial evidence he has done something gravely wrong enough to impeach him for! Some locker room talk? You better shun every male friend and relative if you hold to the idea that no decent man ever bantered some off color comments with the boys in private! His ex wives and personal flings? Oh, yeah, because Trump is the first politician or rich celebrity to ever think of not being the perfect little angel! Shall we bring up the laundry list of politicians on the Left who have done wrong in their personal lives? Bill anyone? 😉 More importantly, how does that affect him carrying out his duties at President of The United States? We can argue Trump and other politicians too aren’t the greatest family men. Not 100% moral blemish free. Yes, some things can make me lose some measure of respect for people in their personal lives over flings and affairs. However, what really matters to me, what will affect me and the rest of the country is if the person in office honors his role in office and carries out all their duties they swore to do.

I know some of the more intricate political controversies over Trump have been extensively covered, and thus won’t go in to too much depth over what would require its own separate post! However, I will say that in light of the recent news about Muller’s report being released, the whole Russian collusion allegation concluded predictably 😉 Not much to see here, folks! In addition, countless other allegations have been brought up, then when proven false, silently gone out in the news cycle by Left leaning media, to be replaced with others, in what appears to be an attempt at grasping at straws.

If you were to ask me personally, and probably other conservatives too why they voted Trump, reasons given would be one, he’s making real change for the better. Our country was not in good shape, a bad economy, cheated in foreign policies, terrorism running rampant among others. The way we’ve been going under the past 8 years before hasn’t been working out… Nothing was being changed. We needed a new strategy, new ideas, and Trump had them. Knowing business from his past career, he knows how to negotiate, how to compromise, and also when to hold firm, like in his recent summit with North Korea. He knows the economy, and has improve it greatly. My family, as a few are self employed or commissioned, have not seen as much job opportunities in years until Trump got in. Just recently, he pushed back ISIS and about wiped them out. He made better deals with other nations to ensure we be treated fairly. He’s standing up for our national security and protecting our borders and our resources. He’s given people a second chance even as part of the so called “tough on crime” party… Is Trump the most diplomatic? Not really… I will admit many of his tweets can be quite frank and pointed! But sometimes, the smooth talker isn’t always the best leader despite that polished appearance. Sometimes, you need to call a spade a spade even if it’s not flattering and hard to hear. I challenge you to find one conservative who’s not “alt-right” in some fringe extremist group, to say they voted Trump because they want to subjugate women and set back race relations 100 years… As for the assertions Trump is sexist or racist, I only ask, have you known him for being such things before he ran for office?

However, all this said, wait for it…. You have the right not to like Trump. Yes, I am accepting of others forming their own opinions on Trump or any other candidate. I don’t feel like people must be required to drool over Trump’s feet more than any other politician. Trump should be open to fair criticism and intense scrutiny as any other president should be. Not all of Trump’s ideas will fall through to the fullest extent. He can’t do it all more than any other man. But then again, name one president who fulfilled 100% of his campaign promises! If you feel Trump isn’t up to your standards, fine. Fine by me. The entire country doesn’t have to like whatever current president is in office or else there wouldn’t be a need to vote! 😉 If you feel the evidence is not sufficient enough to vote Trump in 2020, that’s your right in a democracy.

Here’s my problem though: Going absolutely insane over not liking Trump! See, not voting for Trump and threatening those who do are in two radically different ball parks! Saying Trump should be treated like a man, not a demi-god above the law is fair. What isn’t fair is spewing vitriolic allegations without actual proof, and doctoring “evidence” to suit your conclusions! Calling a man a “rapist”, a “racist”, a “fascist” demands heavy proof as those are very ugly accusations not to take lightly. Investigating voting fraud and cheating such as collusion with foreign powers if suspected is one thing, but keeping up the charade for two years going no where with any proof to actually impeach reflects far more on you than him. Coming up with wild conspiracy theories and failing to accept that maybe, just maybe, it was possible the nation voted him in like any other president in US history… Why is it so hard to just accept you didn’t get your way for once? How is he so radically different from any other past president you didn’t vote for? Other conservative presidents?

Know what I think? Your insane vitriol over Trump has actually drove me to like him more and has convinced me to vote him in in 2020. Believe it or not, in 2016 I wasn’t sure of Trump either. I voted for a 3rd party. I had reservations about his ability to lead this country and saw him more as the superficial celebrity. However, seeing what he accomplished in office proved himself to me. See? I can change my mind based on actual evidence! The other major factor too as mentioned, was seeing the absolute meltdown over him where he and anyone who did vote for him were branded “deplorable” and immoral people… Threats, violence, ostracism, etc…etc… all from the Left to try to drive us into silence over our current president has only further convinced me not to vote for your party! Before politics became a bigger part of my identity overall, if people reacted with such vitriol towards Obama, there is a good chance I might have voted for him in 2012! Not because I was a huge Obama fan at all, (I’m certainly not now!) but because any party who would react with such insanity and utter immaturity is not one I respect nor would take seriously to run my country. What pushed me away from the Left, other than strictly policy-wise, is indeed this outlandish behavior and lack of decorum!

By all means don’t vote for Trump if you feel he’s not up for the job. Just don’t go into a paroxysm of late stage TDS and foam at the mouth at the mere mention of Trump. Criticize Trump just like any other politician, but be big enough to admit when he does something right. Hold Trump accountable for his actions, but also defend him when he is being unfairly accused. Realize he will make mistakes, he won’t be able to fulfill all his campaign promises, but also realize that no other president was mistake free or achieved 100% of his goals. Donald Trump is human too, and he deserves to be allowed an honest mistake or an un-reached goal like any other president and human being. I’d love to talk more in detail over why the Left believes as it does about Trump, but thus far, I cant find any who are willing to talk in a clear headed rational manner without throwing ad-hominems at Trump supporters like me, or Trump…

So in summary, you don’t have to like Trump to make me listen to you. You don’t have to be in love with how he handles his presidency. I wasn’t with Obama the past 8 years he was in office. However, I never spewed vitriol, threatened, harassed and ostracized those who did like Obama. Nor did I believe every unsubstantiated conspiracy theory people brought up, blinded by my hatred. I can admit it if Obama did anything good for the country as well as see his flaws. I never screamed “Impeach!!!” just because I didn’t get my way for a few years. Put it in perspective: Trump is not dictator for life! You will get your way eventually, and we will again too. That’s just how a fair democracy works. No one gets their way all the time! I learned that in preschool. So Dear Liberals, you didn’t lose my vote or my respect because you don’t like Trump. You lost it when you lost your decorum, civility and outright moral conduct over not getting your way…

(PS. I know my tone is harsh in this letter, but consider how harsh you sound if you imagine all you say about us and Trump, only replacing us with you, and Trump with your candidate! I also note that if you want to be addressed in a more gentle manner, please extend the courtesy to us also in the future 😉 …)

— A Lady of Reason

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How The Left is Driving A Wedge…

The Left’s derisive rhetoric and ideology has driven a wedge in much of society. From race wars, to gender wars. Gay versus straight, cis versus transgender. Black versus white. Christian versus Non-Christian. Etc…etc… Seeing the worst of intentions in innocuous comments. “Microaggressions” so microscopic yet so massive to the “victim”. Scapegoating, blaming, finger pointing, you name it! The Left fosters it. And what does all this un-nuanced black and white division do to society? You guessed it! Divided society at every level and among every group! Families are literally feuding over how one voted in 2016. Ostracism, insults, ultimatums are becoming more and more prominent in friendships, relationships, and families all over politics and social issues. An opposing opinion is no longer grounds for “disagreeing to disagree” then changing the subject. No! now it has to mean the other person is evil, bigoted, immoral, and even perverted in some cases!

Take this scenario, based off this article. A mom whose daughters are 13 and 15 wrote in to a columnist that she is upset that her husband and her father in law are telling jokes that all dads with daughters know about, such as “Dad better buy a shotgun for when they start dating!” Or “lock your doors!”. She claims it made her daughters uncomfortable as well as herself. The columnist wrote back in agreement saying that such jokes rob daughters of their agency, and make light of gun violence. Now, I agree with one thing: If the daughters don’t like it, they should stop out of respect for their daughters’ and granddaughters’ wishes.

However, lets dive deeper into what I argue this portrayal of this common family scenario has been seen through a lens of extreme projection and misguided conclusions. Jokes like those told by men one, are NOT taken literally (just like 99.9% of jokes!) and really meant to reflect a man’s sense of duty and honor towards his daughters, and more widely, protecting the women in his life. Quite frankly, a woman such as a mother, does not have the full sense of the dynamic between man-to-man interactions and how men express sentiments is not the same often as how a woman might express it. The “protect your daughters” jokes are an example of that. Grandpa was simply giving dad a man-to-man pat on the back so to speak, for the challenges of raising daughters and making sure their best interests are respected by any suitor.

The jokes are hyperbolic: Barring out and out abuse, a sane and reasonable man would not literally pull out a gun and terrorize a suitor! The point is that the jokes are meant to show how far a man would go to protect his daughter from mistreatment, exploitation, coercion or abuse if it were to occur, not that he’ll go out like a maniac waving a gun at every teenage boy in town! While of course, mothers also are deeply invested in protecting their daughters from predatory or toxic men, the special role of an honorable man has always been to guard his daughters until he knows her chosen one is worthy of her, beyond what a woman is expected to do.

Grandpa, who’s “guilty” of said jokes, is not being a perv, or a chauvinist who believes that his granddaughters should literally be locked up like in some 3rd world culture, but a man who in his wisdom, is supporting the dad in his role as protector. As to the other argument about agency and autonomy, one, what other areas of major life choices would you argue a young teenager should have complete and total autonomy over? And two, why not complain more about cultures who literally KILL their daughters over an unapproved suitor and force her into marriage at the age these girls are? Where’s the feminist outrage over that??? You can argue all you want you don’t want men to occupy that traditional role guarding his daughter’s hearts, but what would you say of a man who’s just like, “Whatever… What do I care about my daughter’s dating habits…” As for the daughters themselves, perhaps they were conditioned from day one to look at men as potential perverts and misogynists and were primed to read disgusting undertones in grandpa’s well meaning comments.  Just look at the Girl Scouts of America telling parents young girls hugging grandpa leads to sexual coercion at work 20 years later! Just because mom, not socialized to have the honor code of a man, doesn’t quite understand the subtle nuances of the dynamic between Dad and Grandpa, doesn’t mean they have nefarious intentions or sexist attitudes! My case rests… 😉

The next scenario, related to family matters, is the case of a mother on an online forum freaking out over her 7 year old daughter’s kitten heels she bought for some special event, like a daddy daughter dance, let’s say. I’ve also covered this topic before too, but what shocked me was the mothers reaction to what Dad said: She said she was fearful and troubled because Dad said, guess what? “Wow! You look so grown up!” to his daughter when he saw her in those shoes. Mom believes that Dad’s comment was perverted in the worst possible way, and that yes, implied it meant Dad was lusting over his little girl comparing her to a grown woman! Even more shockingly, multiple women agreed with her!

Now, to a sane person, it sounds just like a dad amazed, as any parent is, of how fast is child is growing up. Seeing his daughter, in her fancy dress, her hair done up, some light makeup, and in those cute little shoes for her special dance with daddy, it is not out of the question that as a parent, he could see in her in that moment, some of the woman she will grow into very soon. A beautiful woman he will one day dance with again at her wedding. Or send off to her prom. What only the sickest most vile pervert would see in a little girl in kitten heels is a sex object to lust over!!! In the fight to stop oversexualizing girls, the  women’s rights movement has ironically, sexualized them to the extreme by seeing everything that was once innocent, as now sexual, sick and perverted! I can only think of two scenarios. Number one, mom is wildly and wrongly projecting the most vile thoughts on her husband for being a sentimental dad, or she married a complete monster and doesn’t deserve to raise a child if she allows him to be near her daughter. I strongly suspect the former case is more probable…

Lastly but certainly not least of all, another example of how a family can be utterly divided by Leftist ideology is the common case of that relative who says something un-PC at the family gathering. Now, instead of just chalking it up to an older generation who were raised with different norms, or an innocuous comment that just came off as “insensitive” as opposed to a targeted insult, many Left learning parents are struggling with whether or not to let the kids see Grandma, or Aunt Sally, or Uncle Joe over “sexist” or “racist” sentiments that most reasonable people outside of the radical Left wouldn’t interpret as openly racist or sexist for instance. apparently, it’s not enough to say to your kids, “I disagree with what Grandma says sometimes, and here’s why, but we still love her even though we differ on certain subjects…”

Now, it’s all or nothing. If Grandma’s not “woke” enough, she doesn’t make the cut! Or maybe just be open and honest and tell Grandma, or Uncle Joe or Aunt Susie not to bring those topics up in front of your kids when they come to visit. Many, even if they differ from your perspective will honor your request. After all, 5 year olds care more about Grandma’s cookies than Grandma’s political ideologies! 😉 However, why can’t we just be brave enough to expose our kids to differing views then let them know they can make up their own mind in their own time without pressure from either side? We can’t grow as people without thinking deeply and thinking for oneself after all.

In all three examples, we see families utterly divided by the Left. Granddaughters that see grandpa and their own father as sexist creeps for wanting to protect them. A wife who sees her husband and father in law as misogynistic and not having their children’s and grandchildren’s best interests at heart. A mother who implicitly views her own husband as a sick pedophile lusting over his daughter on the grounds of saying as every parent says, “You look so grown up!”. Parents across the nation alienating their kids from their grandparents, aunts and uncles over politics, ideas the children don’t even know about or care about yet. Teaching the kids that an opposing opinion is immoral, and the person holding it is bad and to be written off without hearing why they have that “offending” opinion. If that isn’t division, then what is??? I have liberals and conservatives in my family, and among my friends. If I alienated everyone who doesn’t think exactly like me, I’d be one lonely person! 😉

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