“Whatever Happened To My Party?”: An Interview With The Common Man

The Common Man is a regular reader and commenter here on A Lady of Reason. I have enjoyed much of his sensible and insightful comments he’s made on the blog. He’s graciously taken the time and given me the honor of giving me an interview with him over the subject of how he used to be a Democrat, but ultimately turned away from the party. This is his perspective as a fellow conservative.

So, tell me a little about yourself first:

I’ve been a teacher for 41 years at New England schools and colleges. My family members were moderate Democrats. From a young age, I’ve been a part of the workforce and both my upbringing and my present status is that of a middle class working individual. I am married, have a daughter and am a home owner.

In your correspondence with me, you said you used to be a Democrat. Could you tell me a little more about that?

The Democratic Party has changed substantially from the 1960’s to the present. Since that time there have been many changes in the party for the negative. I’ll list some of the major points in no specific order. The continued support of a welfare system initially intended to assist persons and families who were at risk evolved into a lifestyle in poorer communities where we see individuals and families accepting welfare as a substitute for education, training, and employment which would contribute to their towns, cities, and ultimately, the country. The civic leaders of these poorer communities became part of the problem, but furthering programs that allow them to prosper, while creating a dependency in their consistency on the welfare checks, child support checks, food stamps, Section 8 housing, free medical services on and on… All of it being supported by US citizens who actually work and contribute to our society. That imputes the system, and the civic leaders. When my family members immigrated to this country, they were required to have a job waiting for them here in America. They came, they worked, and became American citizens paying taxes, and helping to build their communities as productive people. This was the American Dream. The liberal concept of uncontrolled, wide open borders with an unlimited amount of drain resulting on our schools, medical facilities, police forces, and of course, the taxpayers who pay for it all was not a reality in past years. The Democratic concept of building a voting constituency based upon people entering the country illegally, became a reality. I like all fair minded people became disenchanted with the party.

What were the first inklings of discontent for your support of the party and when did they start to happen?

It started with the Clintons. I began to recognize that Washington was operating above the law and although busy with raising a family and working two jobs, I kept my eyes and ears open for changes within the party. As I saw in more recent times that enemies of the United States, such as Al-Qaeda, became emboldened with a more far left liberal series of changes within the laws. I realized the the obvious that we were providing these types of groups with free reign to come here and make their violent statements. Global powers who seeked to benefit from the willingness of our government to make trade deals that favored them, and weakened America’s economy. When President Obama took office, I had hoped he, being a man of color, we would see a re-imagining of how America assists people of color in impoverished urban settings. In fact, he campaigned to people of color strongly indicating that he would reform their educational systems, they way that they are dealt with in criminal situations, and in general their entire socio-economic challenges. This did not happen. The facts are that he clearly emboldened through direct action, a number of countries while weakening our position militarily, and economically, resulting in huge advantages for them and putting the United States last. This is a globalist, far-left, Marxist series of actions delivered to the American people by a well dressed, well spoken, smooth talking gentleman president.

In brief, what was the eventual tipping point in leaving the Democratic party?

All of this came to a head in the Clinton vs. Trump election for the presidency. When the truth outed that the Clintons had long engaged in elitist, highly questionable practices regarding the law, their finances, fundraising, and use of what can only be termed as underhanded manipulation of the former, I started to have doubts about her as our president. On the other side, Trump, who I’ve always seen as kind of a brute, seemed to be less able to hide his past and who he was as a high powered millionaire businessman, a person who had many women and affairs, and spent time as a celebrity with men’s programming such as the Spike Channel on cable TV, etc. These weaknesses and events seemed to be while troubling, were somehow less so than the Obama-Clinton union. Let me add also that, I grew up in a household with strong women, with a father and grandfather who taught me no prejudices against women, but to admire how strong a woman can be.

The Nation has been polarized greatly since the 2016 Presidential Election. Have you been all that politically active before then? And if not, what made you now?

Here before like many working family men, I was not overly involved in politics. The culmination of all that I have stated above coming to light drew me to become involved on a level a level I had not before.

Much of the Conservative side has been unpopular and greatly censored since. I know I have struggles being a closeted conservative, yet speaking out here on A Lady of Reason. How do you deal with the backlash and vitriol of the radical liberals?

The Democratic party has enjoyed control of the greater majority of all of our media here in America for at least 25 years. Now that real opposition has taken place in the form of the election of a Republican president, the voice of the Democratic party has become increasingly far-left, radical, desperate and divisive. When I fact check what I’m seeing in magazines, newspapers, online and in 95% of the media, I find that the majority of it is untrue. Like most Americans, I will listen to the truth, regardless of what your party is. However, when I am lied to by powers who call themselves quote “news”, I am then compelled to label these entities unreliable and on the payroll of the far-left. This problem is pervasive and as a full time teacher teaching ages four though adult I have observed firsthand the teachers’ union including college professors indoctrinating young people toward an ideology that is politically Left. In essence, quote “growing” a huge constituency of future Democratic voters. It is the mandate of a teacher to instruct their students to learn both sides of any debate, ideology, or faith and then having researched these topics, make their own decisions. This has not happened! These are some of the key points to why I reached the turning point leading me away from the Democratic party and coming to the sad reality that this can no longer be my party.

Have you ever had a negative experience in person with a radical liberal?

I am smart enough and I’m old enough to know that the type of discussion that you have fostered with your important blog will when discussed face to face with this group will ultimately not lead to fair discourse. I have no desire to be accused of being a racist, homophobe, misogynist, and any other number of devices used to shout down any person that presents factual evidence contrary to this growing far left liberal ideology, and as seen in more recent times, beyond that, many if these groups have resorted to physical violence which I will not engage in unless my back is against the wall and a matter of life and death. Therefore I do not put myself in that position. May we hope it never comes to that.

Thank you for your time thus far, but I want to end with one last question: What is your advice for fellow closeted conservatives that want to speak out?

You need to invest time in researching the truth and since you will find overwhelmingly, that your magazines, newspapers, internet and TV is 95% controlled by the Left, you will have a hard time fining the facts. It takes a lot of work to shift through and filter out what is really taking place. Remember that Fascism as seen by Italy’s Mussolini and the 3rd Reich started as a controlling of all that people see and heard in their media. What we’re seeing now is a mass blanketing of all that we see and hear with a far left agenda. If a person is not willing to do the digging, they will be kept in the dark, and worse than that, likely to simply follow in lockstep with what others are doing. In conclusion I’d like to say to you, Lady of Reason, what you have provided us giving voice to topics with factual accounting is crucial. I for one know this is what all of our citizens need in order to make rational decisions for our country’s well-being.

—The Common Man

Thank you Common Man! It was an honor getting to see your perspective! If anyone else wants to have a guest post or an interview, please contact me at aladyofreason@outlook.com and write the topic you want to talk about!

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Reflections on Current Events: PragerU vs. Censorship by The Liberal Media

Reflections on current events is a new segment of A Lady of Reason. A history teacher in my sophomore year of high school would make the class write reflections on current events in the news, with the view it made us more well rounded, engaged citizens to think about what we see and hear about, and reflect on it, not just absorb it like mindless sponges! While he was much more liberal than I, I found common ground in that sentiment, as how can one make change without knowing what’s being changed? Inspired by the spirit of that assignment, I take some time to reflect on a major event going on involving the conservative community, or some liberal lunacy that has gained prominence! Part of the job of speaking out and advocating is being informed of what’s going on in the world around us. “Forewarned is forearmed!” 

The recent flurry of news over censorship of conservative voices online and on social media platforms has captured more national attention in recent days since it has come out PragerU has been censored by Facebook. However, this issue is not new and has been going on for years! The rampant culture of radical liberalism has pervaded our country, from blatant lies in politics, to propaganda and brainwashing in our schools and higher education, to most major organizations,  news outlets, TV, movies, and yes, the internet! Conservatives must fight twice or more as hard to be heard, and when they do, face intense backlash, ad-hominem attacks, and vitriol. We are reduced to backwards stereotypes such as racists, misogynists, homophobes, transphobes, etc…etc… who are privileged white males! Not to mention anti-intellectual cavemen who want to set our country back to the stone age in terms of social progress and equality!

The liberals make all sorts of excuses, for example saying that conservative viewpoints are “hate speech”. But, has anyone actually thought about what actually is hate speech? I’ll give you liberals a hint; it’s NOT simply an unflattering truth or unpopular opinion! You see, even a more bigoted opinion is not against the law. I’m not justifying making unsubstantiated claims just to incite anger and provoke outrage, nor spreading nasty lies about any group. The key difference between where it ought to cross the line is inciting violence, and threatening individuals or groups with actual credible threats (i.e. bomb threats, shootings, assault etc…). Saying an unflattering, harsh and blunt opinion or criticism of someone or some group is not the same, and if censored, will go down a very slippery slope! When did a frank but honest critique become racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic etc…? When was it decided criticizing a politician’s flaws and scandals is tantamount to hurling a racial slur? The fact is, there are many many opinions I strongly disagree with that I wish were never said in the open. However, I’d never dream of limiting their right to speak freely in this country, a democracy where the people can speak their minds about their government and anything else! I demand my rights to speak my mind, therefore, also fight for the rights of others to speak theirs, even in conflict with my own opinions. Quite a foreign concept, huh? 😉 After all, the true reason for needing a right to free speech is for just the occasion that speech is unpopular. The Nazis never came after those saying “Heil Hitler!”, now did they? Many opinions will get your goat, even anger you. They certainly do for me on occasion, but I will still uphold their right to voice them in this country.

Speaking of speech that can skirt the line between unpopular and illegal, what about some things the liberals have said? Madonna wants to “blow up the White House”! and yet, no one ever came after her for making a blatant threat against the president and the government! What about all the people who have made death threats against Trump, our president, yet let off the hook with a slap on the wrist, or less! The incidents of “stab a Trumpkin” in a college, or a grave that said “Don Trump” at an elementary school Halloween party! Not to mention YouTube videos joking about assassinating Trump, or what about Antifa inciting violence with provocative statements against their opposition? The liberals get to say all the petty slurs they want, comparing the NRA to baby killers, or criticizing Trump’s appearance, yet decrying any one else doing it to liberal politicians, like Hilary Clinton, or Michelle Obama. What about sacking conservatives for saying something unpopular and cancelling their TV show, or blackballing them, yet letting liberal actors and celebrities slander conservatives scott free? I won’t say all conservatives air their views in the most polite, professional and articulate manner, but to say we’re the hateful ones, while spewing out blatant lies, slander and hate for conservatives is complete and utter hypocrisy!

It’s scary that here in America, major corporations such as Google and affiliated social media platforms like YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and others can censor conservatives and almost no one bats an eye or speaks up! The liberal bias is rampant online, as in every major news outlet, magazine, and media in general. They say all groups need to see themselves in the spotlight in a positive way to feel valued in our society, yet don’t bat an eye at stereotyping conservatives as backwards, ignorant hicks and bigots! When do we get our turn in the media? When do our voices get to be heard on supposedly free speech sites like Facebook, YouTube and Twitter? The recent incident with PragerU and Facebook and YouTube censoring, where 3 million or so viewers couldn’t access his most recent videos all overnight it seemed, really brought to light to many the extent the blatant censorship of conservatives goes! And this isn’t the first time PragerU was censored either! Countless others, many much smaller and less prominent are censored every day by these liberal corporations online, and in the media, and who’s going to speak up for them? PragerU was lucky since they are so prominent, but what about the little guy, such as my little platform to speak out? Who will protect me? The fact that this happens is an outrage, and if it were to happen to a prominent liberal organization, there would be international outrage on every major news network! Telling too how Facebook decided it was all an “accident”, but who honestly believes the fact 3 million people couldn’t reach PragerU’s videos when PragerU got thousands of views on his others? You may not agree with everything PragerU has to say, you may oppose it strongly, but you know the saying…

First they came for the — and I didn’t speak up,

Now they came for me and there was no one left to speak for me…

There will be more stories to come of censorship until we hold them accountable! It’s only a matter of time until they come for you too unless we speak up together and fight to get our voices heard! Who will be there when they come for you if you let others be shut down?

Trouble in Paradise: Hidden Dangers on Vacation

The summer is winding down, but there’s still time for that last minute summer vacation! Your bags are almost packed, plate tickets are bought, hotels are booked. You’re almost ready to go out the door – but wait! Did you forget something? Car keys? Check. Plane Tickets? Check. Underwear? Check. Toiletries? Check. ID? Check… There is one thing I fear, many leave behind on most trips, something extremely important, but you can’t pack it in your bags, or take it on carry on, or even see: Common sense.

The issue is, many seem to be more “carefree” when away on vacation. Of course, vacations are supposed to be fun leisurely getaways from the grind of daily life, but we’ve all heard the stories of people getting killed and mysteriously disappearing here and abroad. While out enjoying the nice sights, hotels, resorts etc… many forget and let their guard down. In such a blissful paradise, could there be trouble? Unfortunately in many places that answer is “yes”. People traveling to risky places, like 3rd world countries are being kidnapped, and killed by groups like ISIS for instance. Young naive Americans who think nothing of frolicking off in “enemy territory” of the Middle East and Africa are being kidnapped killed and tortured. Many, although it is being downplayed and covered up, are also being sold into human trafficking, in labor and the sex trade for young women.

What do you expect though going to places like that? Recently, a young couple cycling in the Middle East got killed by ISIS! Refugees are actively fleeing such war-torn hellholes, and yet, naive American and European tourists are going there for thrills! The amount of denial of many is incredible when it comes to the real dangers around the world. Militant groups, terrorists, and common criminals are all to eager to exploit and victimize some naive foreign tourists with no clue as to the culture, language or dangers abroad. Going into a war torn area with primitive living conditions in a dog-eat-dog society will not bode well for the well off Western tourist, who compared to the natives, has everything while they have nothing. Imagine if you were starving and desperate, robbing a few tourists, or holding them for ransom doesn’t seem as unfeasible. I mean, why should they care about you? You’re just some well off Westerner they were taught brought them into this poverty by their own country. Not to mention, many militant and terrorist groups needing to instill terror in the US and Europe by targeting their citizens. Seeing videos of tourists’ heads cut off understandably gives people the chills! For another case, a woman was arrested with her young daughter and sent to an Arabian prison for drinking alcohol on the plane over, before she even set foot in the country! Which brings up yet another point, is many tourists go in blind also not knowing the laws, such as zero tolerance for drugs and alchohol in many Arab and other Muslim countries. So much could go wrong in 3rd world countries between crime, trafficking and terrorism. Let’s not forget South and Central America and Mexico too! Drug cartels, gangs like MS-13 and more trafficking await you!

Even if the people don’t get you, there’s also the diseases. Ebola is in parts of Africa and they had an epidemic of it just a few years ago. That could have been brought back here due to international travel now. It’s scary! With today’s technology, a disease from over there could be here in a matter of hours! Dysentery plagues 3rd world countries with little sanitation like the Middle East, Mexico, Africa, South America and such. Not to mention parasites as well! Nothing like picking up a bot fly from Belize, or foot worm from Africa! Yes, there are vaccines for things, and anti-malarial drugs, but they don’t over everything! Also, what about the quality of medical care? A village clinic with no sanitation and never heard of Germ Theory isn’t the most ideal place if you come down with something! Going to seedy countries, and you may come back with more “souvenirs” than you ever wanted!

You think, “Well, duh! I won’t make those mistakes!” but it is so, so easy to when your guard is down when you’re relaxing or taking in the sights. In my own experience, I visited Europe on a school trip in high school. It was my first time, and even though I knew a bit of the language, and they warned us about pick pockets and such, we still didn’t know the area at all. The amount of risk taking on that trip by my classmates was jaw dropping to say the least. Imagine you’re in a city like Madrid, or Lisbon. You know nothing of the city, never seen it in your life, don’t speak the language well or know the culture. Don’t know which streets and areas are safe or not, yet, the minute your tour guide says “we’ll meet back in 2 hours”, you zoom off into oblivion not even looking back to see where you came from! You could be lost down many ally ways, bump into all sorts of seedy characters, yet be none the wiser until it’s too late. People have disappeared on vacations, think of Natalee Holloway in Aruba. It shocked me that each group didn’t have a chaperone accompanying them, as they all stayed with other chaperones. I wisely stayed with them too rather than zoom off with my naive classmates. The one time I did go with the other kids was when a college aged girl approached us and asked if we wanted to go to a “party” at 1 am! Alarm bells rang like crazy in my mind and after the girl left, I voiced my concerns to my group. What if she was luring us to be trafficked? What if it was a set up to rob us? Why would a complete stranger invite us to a party, not for some charity or event, but with seemingly no strings attached? It was too good to be true, and quite suspicious. My classmate’s response? “Well, we can dream…”! The naivety of those kids and chaperones for that matter, not looking after us more closely was astonishing!

Don’t think even 1st world Europe is safe anymore either! Many countries there are more poor, and have just as much if not more crime than any US city. In addition, now there is terrorism in many places in Europe especially by ISIS. London, Madrid, Brussels, Nice, Manchester etc… Their liberal “inclusive” policies are letting terrorists and criminals flourish in these countries! Many neighborhoods are being turned into 3rd world ghettos full of 3rd world culture, the same brutal culture back home. Turn down the wrong street, be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you’re a goner!

Don’t think you’re safe with only travel in the US too! While our county is your best bet for now, every major city has crime and gangs and trafficking. Do you want to walk through Harlem at night? NY is a great city, but it has it’s danger zones like any other. Boston is great sightseeing, but gangs and crime happen still in seedy areas and at night. Seattle is cool, but now it’s plagued by a rampant homeless population, driving crime up, and business away. Visit cities near Mexico? Think about MS-13 and other gangs and drug trafficking and illegal immigration coming in.

This is not to say you can never travel again, all places here and abroad come with risks, but you can still have fun, and be safe. That means though, you have to be vigilant. Not keep valuables on your person or visible. Go with a group. Friends, a tour group etc… especially if you’re a young woman. Don’t wear offensive clothing with provocative slogans, political or other wise, don’t wear risque immodest outfits for women, as many cultures take it to mean you’re available or a prostitute. It can be explicitly forbidden in many parts of Muslim Countries! Know more about the city you’re staying in, the culture, the language, the crime rates. Find out how safe a place is and at what hours it’s not. Always tell people your plans and where you’ll be going and when you’ll get back. Give your family back home your itinerary. Know where the US embassies are in case of the worst like detainment for instance. Know your rights and the laws in the country your going in. Keep ID and passports in a place you can’t lose them. Get pepper spray. Bring first aid and medicine. Watch out for symptoms. Be careful what you eat and drink. Take bottled water. Be aware of your surroundings. And much more!

If you decide to travel to risky places, know the risks, basically. Forewarned is forearmed. This whole liberal “tolerance” propaganda, thinking everywhere is as tolerant as we are, and safe is delusional. Facts are, more Western places are safer, and minority inhabited places are not. Not the most flattering revelation, but the cold hard truth. Not every culture vibes with ours. Not every country welcomes Americans with open arms. Not every city even here welcomes you. And never forget, any place you go, even safer ones carry risks. I’m not religious by any means, but I can’t help but say even the Garden of Eden had its snake 😉 No place is crime free! Don’t be a victim, and pack your common sense with you too 🙂

“Be The Change You Want to See in The World…”

“Be the change you want to see in the world”

That’s what one of my college professors told me when I challenged the idea that all these inconsequential protests wearing pussy hats, making snarky picket signs, staging “die ins” and generally disrupting other’s lives with silly immature stunts actually helped anyone’s causes, as well as complaining about it 24/7 yet doing no real work to change laws or pass legislation made any drastic impact. People may argue about how previous protests have made changes, or even enter a debate on the merits or detriments on civil disobedience in general. Proponents say that these stunts and such, kneeling, wearing pussy hats, defying rules, laying siege to various buildings, shouting down speakers and threatening people so events get cancelled, school walkouts and such, brings attention to their causes and gets the conversation going. That I will concede, is true, the more disruptive the stunt, the more attention to the issue, but for most who simply wish to carry on with their lives, is it the right kind of attention?  Negative attention certainly draws attention to the issue, but it only alienates people who would be on the fence, or even have changed their minds if whatever was done was done in a more reasoned, levelheaded manner. Making oneself look like a complete lunatic with some vendetta stigmatizes any rational debate on the topic, as now it’s associated with the lunatic fringe who went too far! Many of the liberal movements are getting push back due to these inconsequential protests, whining and disruptions.

The women’s movement saying Trump is a sexist misogynist assaulter of women staged the major protest in Washington DC and elsewhere thought it would be a good idea to fight Trump by creating “pussy hats” and calling themselves “Nasty Women” based off things Trump allegedly said and did, in an attempt to “reclaim” his insults. The slogans on many of the picket signs contain vulgar swear words, images of the middle finger and other lewd gestures, and plenty of personal attacks on Trump. A few stood out as defining a more coherent cause, but many were simply petty comebacks and wisecracks any child could have come up with! Many of the protesters wore the bright pink “pussy hats”, there to stand in for the female vagina that they accuse Trump of “grabbing”. Some women even went all the way and dressed up in a giant vagina costume, complete with pubic hair (gross)! Also let’s not forget the speeches, such as the unhinged rant that goes off on multiple tangents by Ashley Judd, complaining about tampons and affirming she’s a “nasty woman”, or Madonna’s comment that she wanted to “blow up the White House”! I mean, who should say things like what Ashley Judd did and be taken seriously, or why is it even legal for Madonna to get away with threatening the President? Mainstream conservative women, and many moderates do not feel that those radical “nasty women” stand for women like them, or for women’s equality in a civilized and ladylike manner. Women like myself feel insulted and alienated by women’s rights being represented through people like those at the Women’s March.

Or what about the BLM movement? While kneeling in itself as I’ve posted about before does not bother me as much as other conservatives, and it is much quieter and peaceful than some other things, like the race riots brought on by the BLM movement in places like Ferguson, one cannot deny the fact it has polarized much of the country in the matter. The issue with their little stunt is that it has offended many Americans who feel it disrespects the country, and the people who served it, such as the military, police and first responders. People who would have been more on the fence about BLM now feel alienated from it, as they are offended by the BLM movement disrespecting what they feel is more important than partisan issues. The issue I argue about it is the protest is inconsequential in it’s too broad and vague. Kneeling before the flag at The Anthem does not directly address the issue of racial profiling and discrimination by the police. Their reasoning was that this country is racist and we can’t honor the flag of an unjust nation. However, many feel they insult the military and other first responders as well, not just police, with whom their main issue lies. Another thing is too, these are privileged rich football players earning millions each season! They don’t face any of the struggles of the poor black community! All of this hypocrisy and vague whining without any real concise target have pressured the NFL and other prominent figures such as our president and other politicians to denounce them and prohibit the take a knee movement.

Also, what about the school walkouts? Of course, where everyone on all sides wants school shootings and other gun violence to stop, but is walking out in the middle of the day with picket signs for 17 minutes really accomplishing anything? I believe students should be proactive and take a stand to make positive change in the world as much as they are able, but was disrupting the school day really doing much? They may have raised awareness, but what about doing more than just whining? Why not call their local legislators, write letters, write petitions etc… to pass laws? Look, I don’t personally believe that 17 minutes out of class for one day will derail their entire academic careers, but the issue with it goes beyond 17 minutes outside class time. First of all, is the idea of the immense pressure for the students to participate. Many schools have officially endorsed these protests and peers, teachers and administration are all in board, making it immensely hard for any student to think for themselves without great backlash. Imagine everyone in your school is going to do this thing, but you don’t want to and fear you will be labeled as callous and condoning school shootings and gun violence! The adults are goading the young people to do this. They provided the funding and organizing these events, and were able to get schools on board. They are the ones telling our youth this is the right thing to do. The students have little opportunity to think for themselves, and are getting swept up in the liberal anti-gun movement. You see, this is far from a bipartisan movement: the overarching tone is anti-Trump, anti-conservative and anti-gun and NRA. Opponents are painted as bad as “baby killers” and value guns over human life, which I know for plenty of gun owners is a complete falsehood! Sure, 17 minutes is pretty inconsequential in damaging academic performance at school, as some opponents said, but the reasons to oppose it are far stronger: brainwashing our kids into the liberal agenda. Perhaps if they were more neutral and bipartisan, more would join, as no one wants gun violence, but conservatives are barred from the cause, painted as gun toting “baby killers”.

One last example, more briefly, is now the immigration issues with children being taken at the boarder. Despite the picture of a sadistic president ripping families apart for no good reason, many of the children could be being trafficked, mules for drugs, or human shields for gangs. For their own safety, they ought to prove the adults they come with illegally are really their parents. Opponents though, have gone to some pretty crazy extremes to “protest” this! Sitting in tiny cages as propaganda, and showing pictures from (Guess who? The Obama administration!) of children in poor cramped conditions in uninviting warehouses and saying this is the current situation. Even some more moderate liberals have corrected their radical brethren pointing out the error! Many have even declared all over social media that they are no longer friends with those who point out the truth, as it’s a moral, not a political issue, demonizing their critics. However, the wackiest thing happened this past 4th of July when a woman climbed the Statue of Liberty to protest ICE and immigration policies! The stunt forced the evacuation of the island of everyone on it, and police had to make a daring rescue from incredibly dangerous heights, putting their own lives on the line for this “protest”! Sure it drew attention, but hopefully now people on the fence can see the lunacy of that movement!

The point of all these examples and countless others across college campuses, schools and work places, is that this immature inconsequential protesting does nothing but mar the reputation of their respective causes! There is nothing wrong with wanting to take a proactive stance, as my former professor said, to help make positive change in your community and country by speaking out, but doing petty stunts, demonizing your opponents and whining does nothing good. Why don’t the privileged athletes kneeling donate some of their millions to help impoverished black communities get better living standards, schools, infrastructure, jobs, etc… and support mentoring programs to fight the cycle of crime and poverty and welfare? Why not spend some to train police to better protect at risk neighborhoods? Why don’t the March for Our Lives students and teachers support more rational gun legislation, such as gun use for self defense and more security in school? Why not fundraise for that? Why not learn about the issue and have deep rational discussions about gun violence and gun legislation in an objective light as part of school, instead of spending 17 minutes in silence doing nothing?! Why not find more eloquent ways of expressing women’s issues beyond vulgar dirty words and sex talk? Aren’t you as culpable of talking dirty as Trump by constantly referencing vaginas? Why not help change policies that are traumatic for children and more organized boarder control? A way for promising immigrants and refugees to come into the country who can be assets and weed out the ones who would do crimes and leech off the system? Sure is better than spreading blatantly false propaganda photos taken years before Trump!

“Be the change you want to see in the world” to me ought to mean the exact opposite of what I was told by that liberal professor; it should mean walking the walk, not just talking the talk, or better put, “crying the cry” 😉 It means actually doing something to make a change, not just complaining about some injustice and trying to draw attention through silly stunts! If something’s that important to you, find a way to be taken seriously and reach those who have the power to make the change you want to see. A protest is one thing to draw some attention, but you’re leaving it to others to do the dirty work! Write a letter, write a petition, call your news outlets, call your legislators, help someone in need, donate to a charity, volunteer, vote for laws that would benefit your cause, aspire and work towards becoming a person who can make change, such as an elected official, administrator, leadership role etc… Whatever you decide to do though, please don’t climb The Statue of Liberty 😉

Inspiration in Conservative Dress: Beautiful Pleated Skirts!

Inspiration in Conservative Dress is a reoccurring series of posts of various modest and feminine outfits to inspire other women to dress modestly and resist society’s pressure to dress provocatively and subscribe to “hook up” culture. Through conservative dress, A Lady of Reason sends a message of resistance to the “sexual revolution” and radical liberal feminism, and the upholding of feminine virtue. Arguably, this could also extend to the support for social conservatism in general. How we dress signals who we are in society. I also want to state that this idea is not mine originally, but done on another religious blog called The Catholic Lady. I was inspired by hers to make a secular version for A Lady of Reason. 

A favorite fashion of mine is the pleated skirt: its flowy fabric, especially chiffon fabrics look really feminine and graceful! I’m glad they’re in style now in many stores such as H and M and Forever 21 to name some. Burlington Coat Factory also has a great selection of pleated chiffon skirts too at times. The style is great for being more modest as it is not too clingy to your form, and many come in midi and maxi lengths. The only con is in most cases, you need to find a shirt you can tuck into the skirt, as it looks more frumpy or odd to have the shirt tucked in an A line pleated skirt, or a shorter shirt. Also, be very careful washing pleated skirts, or any pleated thing in general in the dryer! I’ve learned the hard way that the pleats can come out and somewhat ruin a nice pleated outfit 😦  Overall though, a chiffon pleated skirt is a great feminine and modest edition to your wardrobe! When we can embrace ourselves as feminine women, and dress the part, it can show the world we stand for traditional femininity and are not afraid to be women in a society that pressures women to become radical feminists and emulate men all the time.

Here are some gorgeous midi-styles!

   

   

   

And here are some fun and elegant maxi styles!

  

  

  

When Did Sub-Par Parenting Become The Norm?

Let’s admit it: kids are very hard work! They cry all night, get sick all the time, and demand every moment of your attention! Babies cry all night and are 100% dependent. Toddlers and young children must be supervised almost every minute as they will get into everything they’re not supposed to. Teenagers are trying to find themselves and often make poor choices or rebel if not properly guided. Kids are a 24/7 job 365 days a week. There’s no denying parenthood is one of the hardest jobs there is! No parent can be there 24/7 either. Kids get into stuff, walls get drawn on, they will have some trips to the E.R. That’s just part of having kids. Parents are human and make mistakes, they get too loud, lose their temper sometimes, forget things etc…

The issue is however, our society has gone too far the other way. While there is no perfect parent, many now refuse to admit their mistakes and feel any guilt over what they know to have done wrong. Instead of improving on their mistakes, and vowing to do better in the future, such as yelling less, or using kinder words, they will go onto parenting forums and read articles all about not feeling “guilty” and “taking it one day at a time” and being “good enough”. This is done under the guise of the obvious: no parent is perfect, and not getting too worked up on the small mistakes. However, what is really being said is “Feeling guilt over a valid mistake is to be avoided as it’s inconvenient, and being just good enough as a parent is okay. Don’t bother with any personal growth or effort to strive to be the best parent you can be. Just settle for mediocrity.” While no parent will ever be perfect, in my family, I was taught to be the best person you can be. To do your best. Parents should strive to be the best parent they can be. If they mess up then admit it and apologize and commit to growing as a parent and doing better next time.

Mistakes such as yelling when you shouldn’t, giving in to anger, and saying hurtful words should not be excused! We don’t excuse that behavior from our children, who are younger and (hopefully) less mature, yet we give ourselves tons of excuses through parenting article after parenting article on why we shouldn’t feel guilt over having done wrong. Why are we in a society as parents where we can hold our children to a standard of behavioral and emotional perfection “or else”, yet excuse every mistake we make? When you yell, you ought to apologize and owe up to it with your kids, or else they learn yelling and disrespect is how to solve conflict, especially towards people younger and less powerful than themselves. Trying to buy off the “mommy guilt” shows just how small a person you are! Being “just good enough” is a slippery slope into skirting the line of abusive behavior when “just good enough” turns into yelling “you stupid brats!” instead of “I wish you were never born!”… The temptation to lower the bar every time a harder challenge arises with it’s “just good enough” as an excuse is too strong. My parents never yelled at me. They may have spoken sternly at times, yes, or raised their voice slightly, but never actually YELLED AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS!!! I was taught that behavior is dysfunctional and was not done in our family. If we could do it, and my family is not any more “perfect” than yours, why can’t you strive to stop yelling too?

Another appalling example of this attitude of “just good enough” are all the numerous articles out there about not feeling guilty for spending less time with the kids, or spending money on luxuries for yourself versus your kids such as mommy’s spa day vs. your child’s field trip. In my family, the kids came first. Always. While my parents didn’t spend literally every waking moment devoted solely to me, both my mom and dad always made time for me even if it was inconvenient for them. Because that’s what you do when you bring a child into this world. My dad’s dad came home from working a 12+ hour day in a factory but instead of going straight to bed, he would stay up and spend time with my dad and talk to show he was in his children’s lives. Now however, I read article after article on not feeling guilty when you shove your kid off on nannies and babysitters and daycare for the majority of the day not only so you can work to support the household mind you, but so mommy can go to her spa trip, or daddy out golfing all week! Or even just being home but not focusing on your own children! While a healthy balance can be reached between parenthood and hobbies and time with your spouse, the kids should come first. That doesn’t mean you can never have a moment to yourself, or go out on a date night, or have a hobby. My parents did all of the above! What putting your kids first means in this case is if there’s no one to properly care for your children, or they need you for some reason, emotionally, physically, etc. are sick, or truly scared, as an example, then you stay even if it means missing your date night, or hobby.

There will be more date nights and time for you as your kids grow older and more independent too. What many parents forget is that it’s all temporary. Your kids won’t be clingy toddlers forever that whine for everything under the sun and get into everything! Soon, they will be in school, after school programs, clubs, make their own friends and want time to themselves as well! Soon, they will be teens and want nothing to do with you and want to be out with friends all the time! Just because you have to sacrifice some initial years towards them being in greater need, doesn’t mean it will be that way for the next 18 years of your life as parents! Shirking your responsibility to be a present parent in your children’s lives in their formative years is devastating to your innocent helpless, dependent children who truly need you, and also, it won’t last forever. Even with teens, they will be out of the nest in a few short years, then you’ll have time to do more things outside parenting. But then again, patience seems to not be a virtue in today’s entitled “I want what I want RIGHT NOW…” culture!

Also, the excuse of “we have to be a couple” and put marriage over children is appalling! You are two grown adults who can spare to not be the center of attention! Your marriage will always be there if it’s a good one. Your children’s childhood won’t be. Childhood is just one stage of a family’s life, they will be grown and flown before you know it. To deprive innocent children, who are dependent on you for their care, safety and development as functional adults of the attention they need from you to grow up healthy and happy is unbelievably selfish and cruel! If your kids are a third wheel and a drag on your marriage in your mind, then you shouldn’t have had them! Not to mention, is your marriage so weak that you feel that a helpless child is “competition” for your spouse’s love and affection towards you? If you wanted to “just be a couple”, then why did you dive right into having kids??? Let me reiterate: marriage is for life, your children’s childhood is for 18 years. I think you can have the maturity to deal with being parents first, “just a couple” later for a temporary period of time in a life long partnership. You’re both the adults: act like it, and step up to put the more vulnerable little people in need ahead of your own wants and desires. Also, what if your spouse does something wrong? Would you choose them then over your own children if they were abused by the one you love? If you don’t say a resounding “No!”, you frankly don’t deserve the children in your so-called “care”! But that’s what it would mean to prioritize your adult relationship over your kids…

Overall, I’ve read countless “parenting” articles espousing the views of buying off “mommy guilt” and settling for mediocrity at best, and borderline abuse and neglect at worst. The message today’s parents are getting is “how many corners can I cut, but feel the least amount of guilt?”. It’s a sad state of affairs when parenthood has been reduced to an inconvenience getting in the way of “me time”. People have even written in articles admitting to not loving and resenting their own progeny, and appallingly, even one anonymous parent who admitted to putting on their toddler’s PJ’s as roughly as possible to vent her anger out on her innocent son! When did it become okay to just avoid guilt when we know we’re doing wrong? When did “me time” or “couple time” become priority #1, and vulnerable innocent children who didn’t choose to be brought into your life priority #5253 ??? There are plenty of outrageous examples of entitlement and lack of accountability out there, as I’ve mentioned before, but when it comes to parenting, it’s just plain evil!

And who cares about if I’m “judging” them??? Somehow that accusation is used to shut up anyone who calls out their sub-par parenting! Well guess what folks: I am judging your lack of accountability, responsibility and moral obligations towards your own defenseless vulnerable children! Deal with it and maybe actually feel enough guilt to motivate you to be a better parent… Many issues boil down to selfishness, immaturity and taking on too much, like popping out five kids you can’t possibly keep up with. If you’re not ready to give up “me time”, and put your kids first and wear the label of “parent” above all else for the next 18 years, then the solution is simple: don’t have kids…

Where are the virtuous mothers and fathers of generations past, like my grandfather who came home after working overtime to spend time with my dad as a boy? Or the mothers who were content to let motherhood be their greatest achievement in life? Where are the parents who say “just good enough” is not enough? No parent is perfect, but that’s no excuse for sub-par parenting! Yelling at, verbally abusing, grabbing, slapping, hitting, not spending time with and resenting your kids is not “just good enough” because others haven’t called CPS on you already or your kids hide the emotional trauma and lack of affection impacting their lives under your shallow self-centered radar, it’s abuse and neglect. My parents, and their parents are not and were never the “perfect parent”. They just had the morals and human decency to say “I can do better” instead of “just good enough”.

I hesitate to share these since it only brings more publicity to things I find morally repugnant, but I share them for you to get a sense of the appalling selfishness out there in the majority of parenting articles:

Why Mothers Should Not Feel Guilty About Spending No Time With Their Children (Yes, that’s the actual title of the article!)

Why I ALWAYS Put My Husband Before My Child (Because who cares if he ever abused them? He’s your #1! Or that as two grown adults, how you could ever even think of surviving not being the center of each other’s universes for a few years when your infant son needs his mommy and daddy…)

Here’s another even harsher article on the subject: Why I’ll Always Put My Husband Before My Kids (Yes, or else your kids will become self-entitled narcissists that demand mommy and daddy actually care for their kids’ welfare more than their adult relationship… All I can say is I pity the children in their home…)

Yelling At Kids: Why It’s A Necessary Parenting Tool  (Sure, make excuses for how you are too lazy to find a less dysfunctional communication style, and as to why your teens took after “mommy dearest”…)

The Right to Life, Liberty and Doing Whatever I Want…

I have written many times before on A Lady of Reason about the frankly “unreasonable” amount of entitlement in our society! From snowflake millennials needing trigger warnings and safe spaces, to wanting to cancel classes for the day because their opponent’s candidate assumed the presidency and many other wild requests, to people demanding we go out of our way to change the words we use to accommodate their own personal baggage, political correctness, ad-hominem accusations, “ownership” over cultural expression, inconsequential protesting etc… it’s safe to say today’s society feels very entitled in demands to have the world adapt to us, rather than us to the world.

Well, there’s another thing that goes hand in hand with a culture of entitlement: lack of any sense of accountability for one’s choices and avoidance of accepting any consequences. You see, when people decide they’re entitled to have the world cater to them and not have to bend to go with how things are, I’ve observed they often don’t feel the need to accept any consequences of poor choices they feel “entitled” to make. There are countless examples of this sad phenomena all throughout our culture now, and I argue this attitude of entitlement and lack of accountability is one of the root causes of other issues I’ve written about.

The first major example I’ve got much to say on revolves around the radical liberal and feminist views on sexuality. Our “hook-up culture” has much to do with the sense of entitlement to just pursue what makes us feel good, regardless of foolish choices and outcomes. “Sex feels good, why not just do it with anyone any time we feel like it?” is the order of the day, and traditional values of waiting for the right person, being faithful to one partner, and accepting the consequences, such as STD’s and pregnancies are all labeled as too outdated and “prudish”. The radical feminist movement has been teaching young women and girls to be “liberated” and have bodily autonomy not to guard their sexuality and simply go and be promiscuous like men. “It’s all relative, and a subjective opinion” they say about the traditional view of waiting until marriage, and treating sex as a milestone and not a handshake. In fact, we are entitled to fling ourselves at any one, regardless of the dangers, then not take any blame for a mishap like sexual assault or “bad sex” you regret the morning after. No! Just accuse the man of rape after the fact to absolve any responsibility for your foolish choice. Speaking of, now, you don’t have to be responsible for sending out signals that you actually wanted sexual attention such as dressing provocatively and flirting. That’s “blaming the victim” and “slut shaming”! People can tell you to lock your doors or you’ll get robbed, but heaven forbid they tell you to carry pepper spray, not go alone in seedy areas, and cover up! Bottom line: one is entitled to fling themselves at whoever they want consequence free and play victim then it doesn’t go their way…

On a related note, another example revolves around family choices and planning. People feel entitled to just hook up, then pop out kids regardless of ability to provide for them. Even some conservatives feel this way, that families are entitled to have kids they aren’t able to provide for properly and reproduction is a “human right”. Now, I’m not saying there should be an actual government law on people’s reproduction, I mean, I’m no fan of “Big Brother” and how would one honestly enforce it before the “deed is done” so to speak?, but this issue is a more of “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” variety. People will cry “eugenics!” if we say we ought to control how many people we bring into this world, and if those people ought to be healthy and fit for our next generation, but honestly, why shouldn’t we?

It’s amazing to me how families with multiple kids already decide they can’t afford a pet, but don’t think twice about popping out yet another mouth to feed! If you can’t afford the care of a pet, why on earth do you think a child is any less to care for financially and emotionally??? So many parents, or “parent” as many are single moms now, pop out kids they can’t afford, derail their prospects of getting a future like higher education or a better paying job,  then ask us for our pity. Now, while my heart goes out to the children, the parents? No way! They chose to get knocked up, regardless of the pregnancy being planned! So many are on welfare and public assistance, draining our tax money and using the children as sympathy bait. Popping out kids who will grow up in poverty and a lack of attention they need in my book can never be morally justified as a “human right”. However, just as many feel entitled to consequence free sex, they don’t want to owe up to needing the self-control to plan better as a family! Don’t cry to me saying you need pity and charity because you got yourself in a no-future situation because you popped out kids and the baby daddy took off! Just passively giving into your baser urges then saying you and your partner(s) “can’t help it” and pop out kids, is the pinnacle of entitlement and lack of accountability! A disgusting one at that considering the real victims: your children! Not to mention all the resentment many seem to feel towards their kids, like in many parenting articles on how to cut corners without feeling guilty, and condemning any “judgement” calling out their sub-par parenting. In fact, many parenting articles embrace mediocrity and bare-minimum effort!

Speaking of children, what about the poor relationship choices you made and now the kids are in the middle? Many adults care more for their own egos in spiting their ex, than the trauma the kids feel. They feel they can make whatever choice they want, becuase they’re the adult, and it’s their life, despite the deep emotional scars of powerless vulnerable children. They can just up and move the family and pull out all the roots and security their children build in their home for no good reason other than they want to, then expect the kids to be happy and never feel any emotion other than what’s convenient for the parents. They expect the kids to treat the new boyfriend or girlfriend like their “new” mom or dad, giving no respect to a child’s bond with a parent. No, it’s all about their life, children are just the third wheel being dragged along! Heaven forbid the children actually question that, as we aren’t “accountable to them”, as the therapists say. If you go to family therapy, many will indulge the parents’ poor choices and apathy towards their own children’s feelings. These so called “therapists” tell lies that help make no accountability for the dissolution of the nuclear family, and help made it permissable to believe the “any family is a real family” lie, and are little better than dog trainers in helping the kids cope. The kids are brainwashed to be content in the parents’ selfishness or else they’re “bad kids” or “damaged” and need to change, as if they have zero right to their own feelings! No one ever says, “you made a poor choice, and now your kids are suffering.” It’s always “They’ll bounce back, and you just put them in their place.”.

Some lesser yet still very telling examples are what many feel adulthood entitles them. Adult privileges such as drinking, gambling, smoking and more freedom to make stupid choices, many actually feel are blind and should be arbitrary simply on the fact they surpassed the magical age of 18 or 21. In essence, they feel entitled to do all of those poor choices simply because they can! Many adults such as parents and teachers, will preach until their face turns blue all of the detriments of drinking, smoking and such for youth underage and cite all the relevant statistics and studies saying it’s stupid and will hinder one;s growth and futures. However, at age 18 or 21, somehow this magic coin flips and now it’s all “a-okay” because “adults get to make stupid choices becuase they’re older, or have more responsibility”. It’s just an arbitrary privilege of adulthood. But at what cost??? Smoking can give you all sorts of cancers, lung cancer, emphysema, heart failure, etc… drinking leads to addiction and liver problems, horrible ones where you die in pain and discomfort just as much as smoking.

And what about the people around you? I think, by the logic of adults have more responsibilities towards others, they are in a worse position to make any poor choices! The family that you will need to care for, your own parents, children for instance, will be affected by your poor choices. If you go to jail, who will be there for your elderly parents, spouse, or kids? What about your kids getting second hand smoke, then watching you die a premature death down the road for a horrible affliction? What about your poor parents, spouse, and kids seeing alcohol consume your life and who you were? When people depend on you, my family taught me you look out for them, and that means making wise choices for yourself because it will affect the people you love and depend on you. Why aren’t we telling our youth certain choices are bad for one’s development and future, period? Why when they reach the arbitrary legal age, does society give them free rein to make poor decisions without other’s judgement and condemnation? Sure, laws are in place to impose consequences, but we too often excuse others and ourselves of the consequences we are morally accountable for, not just legally.

The whole “addiction is a disease” movement is a prime example of this! I do not deny the biological changes in the brain that make addiction a physical thing. However, the word “disease” carries the connotation of something beyond one’s immediate control. The vice itself is not an illness like diabetes or heart disease! Addiction may be biochemically carved in the brain at a certain point, making quitting more than will power alone, but it started with the choice to take drugs or dink in the first place! The rhetoric of the disease based model takes away any personal accountability and blame and casts the addict as the “victim”. Devastated families write in obituaries how their loved one “succumbed” and “lost their fight” and make excuse after excuse as to why they’re still a decent human being after hurting their family and friend in countless ways. All the let downs and broken promises are all excused away under the guise of this “disease”.

Overall, there are countless examples not listed too, but these are major ones I’ve observed. The common denominator in all though, is the attitude that we’re entitled to make poor choices consequence free and not be held morally accountable by society when we do slip up. The person who made poor choices like getting in debt, being broke, having no-future or barely scraping by to pay college tuition then decides to have a fling, get knocked up then cry out for pity and charity when the baby daddy leaves and they’re stuck with a child. The “victim” who dressed like a hooker, went down an ally way and didn’t say “no” is to be given sympathy and condemnation of anyone who points out her part in the situation. The divorcee who has scarred her children for life and made them jaded towards men and family but whose therapist says “do what makes you happy”. The addict who overdosed is remembered as a “great family person” when they left their son or daughter behind because they chose drugs over their own children. And yet, our society will make excuse after excuse and demonize anyone who doesn’t join the pity party! It’s a sad state of affairs when crying victim is in, and responsibility and accountability are out and considered “old fashioned”. When will we have had enough, and push ourselves and our society to higher moral standards?