The Flaws of #MeToo

I’ve written any times through out my blog on issues such as the hypocrisy of the #MeToo movement by the Left! How, while a noble premise, to give women voices against powerful abusers in authority, it does the exact opposite of what it’s supposed to do: empower women and bring justice and fairness. The problem is, while #MeToo sounds great in theory, in practice, it has some very detrimental implications and unintended consequences.

#MeToo Casts Women as Helpless Victims and Little Children

#MeToo implies women are merely helpless little victims, damsels in distress if you will, little children who are naive to what sexual coercion is. The narrative of “always believe” because alleged victims don’t lie, or at a minuscule chance of it, is flawed for the application to grown women! Even teenagers! Look, a small child does not know much at all about sexual coercion, or the slimy tactics and red flags of grooming and exploitation. Nor would be familiar enough with such concepts to lie about them. However, this is certainly NOT the case for a grown woman, even an older teenager! Yes, some may be uninformed and naive, but must learn in order to protect themselves. Forewarned is forearmed. My parents always talked to me about such dangers, and even from the tender age of 12, I knew the concept of rape and sexual assault! Thing is, while extremely unpleasant to have such conversations with young children, it must happen to empower them! Even the Left can agree and does encourage parents to teach very young children how to spot sexual abuse and inappropriate situations and most importantly, tell someone immediately! Point is, a grown woman is not a mere helpless child: she is aware of sexual dangers and should be empowered to put safeguards in place for her protection before hand too! It seems to me, incredibly misogynistic, and condescending to view women in any other way than empowered and capable of spotting and putting a stop to unethical coercion!

Not Telling Has Endangered Countless Other Women Over These Decades of Silence

Another point: If you don’t tell, and wait decades, like many have, it only endangers other women, countless others who then say “me too” later on! Think of it. If it stopped at woman #1, if the allegations are true, then women numbers 3,4,5….100 don’t have to! While being victimized is not ever deserved, not speaking out so other women won’t be makes you have a part to play by your silence letting the perpetrator get away with more crimes. Think of it this way: Not reporting a burglary makes it easier for more of the neighborhood to get robbed when they can get away with it! You may have been a victim, but your silence is letting others just like you become victims too!

It Also Casts Women as Being Easily Mentally Overpowered by Men

Not quite the feminist idea #MeToo wants to go for! 😉 While I think we can all unanimously agree many men are physically stronger than women, and can force and hold one down to assault them, and have the upper hand, many instances of #MeToo was about sexual coercion. A man in a position of authority pressuring women to submit to him to get ahead or avoid some consequence. Unless that consequence was threat of harm or death to herself/family, a woman can still say “no”. “No” may come at a greater cost, but is a job promotion, or benefits, or such worth your integrity? Giving away one of your most precious gifts and your personal dignity for some career? Look, I get some women may feel forced financially, but many #MeToo cases were from women in high powered careers making loads of money! Not to mention, we can all agree it is a vile thing to abuse authority to coerce women or anyone for that matter! That is NEVER in doubt here! Accordingly , there are more and more things in place, such as human resources and steep penalties in the workplace for sexual harassment. Giving in only lets the perpetrator win, instead if saying “no” and reporting those unethical slimy acts to the proper authorities! Coercion is a slimy, sleazy, unethical thing to do, and authority figures must be held accountable for it! Saying “no” to their demands, and speaking up immediately to proper authorities helps fight that, and “no” is always on the table unless he’s physically forcing you down or making violent threats! “No” may come at the greater cost, yes, but sometimes doing the right thing comes at the greater cost. Ladies, we are strong, empowered and capable. We should not believe our fellow women are so weak to be mentally overpowered by a man doing unethical things!

#MeToo is Hurting due Process and “Innocent Until Proven Guilty”

The noble aspect of the #MeToo movement, to give a voice to the once voiceless against unethical men in power, has now swung too far the other way: never believing the alleged perpetrator could be innocent also. The law of the land says “innocent until proven guilty in a court of law”, yet, in the court of popular opinion, a man smeared with such vile allegations as raping and assaulting women will forever be guilty regardless of proof! The fear of “but what if he really did do it?” is understandable. Admit it: Even I feel that way sometimes when I hear the stories… However, we must rise above that and think: What if he were me? What if were the one being smeared unfairly? Would I want a fair trial, and if innocent, a full pardon and clearing of my name? What about for our fathers, husbands, brothers, male friends? Those we care about? The guilty should be punished under the fullest extent of the law, but the innocent found out and spared! Indeed, if the wrong man is punished, three, not just one injustice was done. An innocent man is punished, the victim gets no real closure, and a guilty man walks free! Defending the innocent for itself is a higher principle: if innocence does not matter, no one is safe from unjust punishment! Vile cases of women being hurt in the worst possible way gets everyone hot under the collar and emotional, myself included, but facts MUST trump feelings to get to the bottom of every allegation!

It is Also Casting Unnecessary Suspicion on Men

#MeToo on a very related note, is also causing more and more women to fear men. Now, every man is eyed as a potential rapist! The innocent elementary school boy crush and kiss is now “sexual assault” because the girl said “Eew! cooties!” The male coworker who complimented your blouse is now lecherous. The boss who called you into his office and shut the door is now at great risk for any false allegation. The family man and devoted husband and father is now an abuser and potential pedophile! Even consensual sex is viewed as “he must have pushed her to do it”! In some cases, when the “victim” said she said YES!!! The narrative of the damsel in distress must be believed at all costs, even when she said she said “yes”! Any woman can derail a man for his entire life, ruin his career, ostracize him from society, even imprison him on a dubious claim! This, ladies, should concern you for every man you know and love in your life. Your father, brother, husband, son, etc… As the men in your life should be concerned for you, their wife, daughter, sister, mother etc… about potential sexual assault. As any woman could be hurt, any man now can be falsely accused of doing the hurting. One does not negate the validity of the other. BOTH sexes can look out and protect one another! We need to stand by our men, and defend them too from a false allegation, as they would give their lives for you heaven forbid you be hurt!

Any Valid Critique is Considered “Victim Blaming” and Justifying Sexual Assault Against Women

This one is the biggest misconception and flaw! Criticizing #MeToo and bringing valid scrutiny on sexual assault allegations is perceived as victim blaming and shaming. However, is is not true! Getting to the bottom of an allegation, and thoroughly investigating and cross examining both sides is just standard procedure! The real implication in this is that women are never lying, or are always correct in the who, what where etc… In reality though, it has been proven eye witness testimonies are often flawed, memories are foggy and incomplete, especially from decades ago! The assault may have indeed happened, but it was a blur, and you misidentified the suspect! That happens all the time too in many cases, not just sexual assault! Who robbed your house? This person or that one who looks very similar? How tall was he or she? Build? Eye color? Hair color? Hair style? Distinctive facial features? etc… See what I mean! Now remember it from 30 plus years ago…. Where there other witnesses with a more solid memory or proof? Police reports? Forensic evidence collected? A lot of factors go into a fair investigation of any crime, more importantly in ones such as these! Even assertions such as saying the woman had some personal responsibility in preventing it or preventing others from being victimized too does not justify what was done to her if it was proven it was done to her! Causation is NOT justification!

For example: Being drunk at a party and someone taking advantage is wrong for the person who took advantage. Period. However why did you get so drunk you made yourself vulnerable to such victimization? We can say we need to teach boys and men to treat women with respect and never harm them. That is valid and I totally agree. However, there will still always be those who don’t. Same with robbers. We teach our children not to steal, yet there have been thieves since humanity found the concept of private property. One could argue you’re blaming the victim of a robbery too by asking them why they didn’t lock their doors, hide valuables and walk in dark secluded alleys,that and yet, it’s not some horrible victim shaming thing to ask such valid inquiries! No one has the right to steal your stuff because you made a foolish choice, ever. No one is justified in mugging you because you walked down the wrong street and had valuables on you. However, is it wrong to say you should have been more careful? Taken more precautions? No! Look, it’s not fair women have to watch out for creeps and predators. It’s not just that women can’t go to a party and get a little buzzed or wear skimpy outfits without being at greater risk. But that’s the cold hard reality, ladies! We have to take precautions to be proactive in protecting ourselves. If something happens despite all that, it happens. But don’t cry “poor me” if you literally walked into the lion’s den! We protect ourselves by doing proactive things, like locking doors, being alert to our surroundings, self defense etc… to help reduce our chance of being victimized by criminals. If a crime happens despite all that, it’s NOT your fault, but if you were careless, a part is on you for putting yourself in such a compromised position, in any crime, not just #MeToo matters!

Overall, #MeToo has too many flaws for a reasonable woman to hop on board with. I appreciate the good intentions and its noble premise, but we must judge things on effectiveness, not solely intention. The consequences of adopting this view is a lose-lose for BOTH men and women! We are empowered, capable, human beings, ladies! We are not helpless victims, little children or damsels in distress! We are accountable for our actions, and should be held to a fair standard in our integrity and honesty like anyone else. #MeToo should be for vulnerable women who in earnest, want justice for themselves and due punishment for those who would be so vile as to abuse their power and a woman in such a way! However it’s been used as a political smear tactic that makes #MeToo crying wolf, hurting REAL victims of assault with all these dubious claims in recent months and years! Look, I want what everyone wants: Justice for women who have been abused. However, we need something more objective than #MeToo. I say #NotMe! 

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“Everybody’s A Critic”: What to Do When They Come for You

It’s been a fact of life for every person who ever had an opinion: some people will disagree with you! Taking criticism is a hard feat for most people, me included! However, if you put yourself out there for people to hear you, they will respond back, and you won’t like every response. Since making A Lady of Reason, I have gotten a fair amount of critiques valid and vitriolic. Praise and condemnation. I knew by speaking out on hot button and very controversial loaded topics as frankly as I do, I’m bound to get backlash 😉 And now that I’ve popularized my blog even further by using social media such as Facebook and Twitter, more people come to see what I have to say. The pros are of course, more publicity and more awareness of conservative view points. The cons of course, with more people, come more critics, and more radical liberals just waiting to have it out with me! They have called me all the common ad-hominem insults now: “racist”, “misogynist”, even “vile nut-job” and “an ignorant, shitty human waste of space” by one vitriolic snowflake! Geez, the heat was turned up high in that kitchen 😉 Criticism, and especially vile attacks on your character are hard to hear, even for the most thick skinned of us. However, when we put our voices out there, we take on the fact we will get such vitriol from the radical left who can’t stand reasoned discourse. So what do you do when you are criticized? I thought of some tips , but please let me know some of yours too!

Some advice in the meantime:

Be Confident in What You Wrote

You have the evidence? You have truth on your side in what you wrote? You backed up your claims with facts? Then be confident you are in the right, and the others are simply in denial! If you need to revise some things, or word things differently, owe up to it and do. If their criticism has a valid point, address it. If you need to revise your thesis, do so, as the bigger person will consider valid points and adjust accordingly. They may say they “won”, but you look like the fair minded one if you do make a valid change. But if you feel you covered all your bases, be proud and let the readers judge for themselves 🙂

Know Many DO Agree With You

We are a “silent majority” here in America. While the radical left is very vocal, and dominates the mainstream media, that doesn’t mean they reflect the views of the average Joe! The fair and balanced reasonable person will consider what you have to say and make up their own mind. There is a growing backlash for the radical liberal intolerance, vitriol and denial out there! If you sound level headed and articulate, you will gain the respect of many reasonable people, even if they don’t agree with you in the end…

You Shook Them Up As Much as They Did You! 

If they’re spewing ad-hominem attacks know they have no real argument, they’re just puffing up their chests in anger! If they had a valid point, they would make it instead of calling you a petty name and slandering your character just to make you upset. They lost it because they know you spoke the truth, and had valid points they couldn’t find counter points for. You may have been shaken up and upset by their attack, but believe me, they only reacted so strongly because they felt threatened themselves by your articulate logic and facts!

Keep Your Online Identity Separate From Your Personal One

Another important point, if you blog under a pseudonym, or anonymously they’re attacking that, not you personally! You still have the luxury of walking away and taking a break from your online identity to just be you. Go about you day, live your life, and be comforted in the fact they’re attacking your fake internet persona, not who you really are in real life! You can always come back later into your internet persona when you regained your energy to fight some more, and take comfort in the fact the haters aren’t hating on the real you 🙂

Speak Out For Others Too!

If you find a fellow ally being attacked, be an ally and stand up for them! You don’t need to get into a fight, but a comment in their favor can sway others to have the courage to speak for that person too, and it means the world to that person! Private message them if you have the time 😉 You’d want someone to speak up for you in your time of need, do the same for others too!

Don’t Forget to Leave Positive Feedback To Others You Agree With

Praise goes a long way! Complimenting a comment or post well written means the world to the author. We’re quick to criticize, but often slow to give people their due credit in life in general. Thanking someone for a job well done makes the world a better place and a little nicer, and keeps spirits up when there is a lot of vitriol being thrown around! I love getting positive comments and likes on my posts, it’s so encouraging! I try to do the same for posts I like by others too 🙂 A little positivity can outweigh buckets of negativity and give someone that little push of encouragement to keep going!

Well, that covers a lot! What are YOUR personal tips for handling intense backlash and coping with vitriol? Comment below!

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“Lights, Camera…Liberals!”

I thought this topic is relevant since the new seasons of many TV shows premiere around this time… And now the insults hurled at the Emmy Awards recently 😉 

Unless you’ve been living under a rock or are a total Luddite, it’s pretty obvious that radical liberalism is promoted as the norm throughout most of society today in our schools, our major news outlets, respected institutions in science and academia, even search engines and social media platforms now such as Google, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube to name a few! All were caught censoring conservative leaning material on their sites. News outlets like CNN and MSNBC are very liberal leaning and leave no doubt as to their anti-Trump stance. Magazines such as Time, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, and countless others all have made literal pledges on their pages to “keep Trump accountable” and to expose the President for what he is! All of these news outlets keep a constant drumbeat of Trump hysteria! Psychology Today, once a respected scholarly journal for the field of psychology has published articles on “Post-Election Trauma” and how President Trump has “traumatized” many individuals, even claiming in their professional opinions that Trump is mentally unfit, and passes that off as legitimate scholarship instead of unethical bigotry. Today, one can’t openly express conservative leanings without major backlash from peers, coworkers, teachers, professors, bosses, authority figures, professional colleagues, etc, etc… People have lost friendships, network connections, colleagues, even jobs over conservative views!

It would come no surprise then, that another outlet for radical liberal domination is the film industry. Hollywood is smack in liberal California after all, and caters to a platform of strident liberals! Many TV shows currently on or are new to the market, movies too, often contain liberal themes, either overtly or subtly. The issue is not however, with any liberal leaning themes in a TV show for instance, but that conservative positions are often demonized and stereotyped as backwards and intolerant. The liberals have made waves trying to get more diversity into film and TV so various groups such racial minorities, LGBT individuals, transgender individuals, even people with unconventional families such as single parents, gay parents, guardians, stepparents etc… all to support the idea that people are able to “see themselves” positively in movies and TV with characters like them. But what about conservatives? When do we get to be portrayed as something other than a backwards stereotype?

Many movies and TV shows, such as Grey’s Anatomy, written by Shonda Rhimes, radical liberal black woman, or The Fosters, another very liberal leaning show, portray all sorts of characters. Grey’s Anatomy has a lot of racial diversity, but has also branched out into openly gay characters, and newly introduced a transgender man who used to be a woman! The Fosters have tackled many issues in family politics such as divorce, kids at risk, gay parent households, and issues facing foster kids like crime, deadbeat parents, a broken system and such all with liberal twist! However, in both cases, conservative leaning people are treated as religious bigots, racists, xenophobes, misogynists, homophobes and others. They are the “bad guy” or else the “ignoramus” who needs to be “re-educated” in the right way to look at the situation through liberal eyes!  It’s unacceptable to portray any disadvantaged group as their stereotype, yet conservatives are portrayed as bigoted and backwards for standing up for conservative issues. When do we get our chance to shine in the spotlight? See ourselves in the hero? Have our values be center stage for once?

It’s not only the choice of diversity in characters that leans liberal, such as adding token gays, minorities, women or transgender people, or promoting the “any family is a real family” propaganda as normal. Many individual episodes and story arcs cover wider topics from a radical liberal view such as sexism, racism, immigration, gay rights, and transgender issues now for some examples. Grey’s Anatomy serves are one prominent example for being used as a liberal political platform in many of its recent episodes.

For example, in the latest season, there was an episode covering the BLM movement where a black kid got shot by police for climbing in his own window when he was locked out. The episode could have been useful in portraying it as a moral and ethical dilemma by making it more ambiguous who was at fault, such as the police honestly misinterpreting the boy’s actions, but it set out to clearly make the police the bad guys, just short of overtly racist and full of malice. The Grey’s Anatomy doctors then go on to berate the police present for being racist and intolerant! The boy eventually dies garnering more outrage over the incident. However, the episode didn’t accurately portray the truth of the BLM movement, as the real life “victims” were often in the middle of crimes and charged at police not as kids, but as strapping young men!

Another episode tackled the #metoo hysteria by defaming Dr. Harper Avery, a prominent surgeon whose foundation owns the fictional hospital Grey’s Anatomy is set in and gives prestigious grants and awards for surgeons. They make a story arc where he has assaulted countless women who left the medical field, thus destroying his good name and the Avery Foundation. They of course, portray all women as helpless victims, without even a hint that some could have done it willingly to get ahead and knew the terms and conditions. Shocking, for a melodrama that always plays up any gossip or scandal and the “true story” is always in doubt! But of course, this was yet another cause to pander to to get more liberal viewers!

My last, but certainly not the last example covered on Grey’s Anatomy recently was on the DACA dreamers and immigration. A new intern who was “undocumented” from El Salvador but who lived in the US all her life was threatened with deportation for running a red light. The hospital staff, like Chief Bailey and others literally hid her from and stalled the immigration officials looking to investigate. While the official investigating was portrayed as professional and impartial, he was demonized by all the characters on the show as the bad guy. Also, Grey’s Anatomy endorsed the clearly illegal act, as the official mentioned in the show as illegal, of deliberately hindering the investigation as an act of heroism! Then, everyone went into puddles of tears over how unfair US immigration policies are. There was no room for debate, or anyone portraying the other side of he argument. Just, immigration control is bad, hiding illegals like the underground railroad hid slaves is good!  These episodes, also to note, aired literally in succession of each other during the last season! It’s clear to see then, they were trying to grasp at any issue at all then to get more liberal views by stoking the flames on hot topics the liberals whine about…

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The Fosters, a TV show centered around two gay mothers and their adopted and foster children and their foster friends also has a very liberal slant! They tackle topics like sexism, such as one character telling off another for “mansplaining” to her, and sexual assault from a #metoo perspective, to immigration and protesting ice and school shootings. In one episode, they protest ice coming to town to round up illegal immigrants, and even warn others about and interfere with an ICE raid at their school! Issues brought up too revolve around the “any family is a real family” propaganda, with the two gay mothers and the many broken homes the foster children come from. Everyone is encouraged to forgive and forget the dysfunction of their former families even though their former parents were ravaged by addiction, hut them and let them down. Addiction is just a “disease”, divorce is “normal” and you’re the one being intolerant if you felt let down and broken by it as a child. The two gay foster mothers portray an involved and loving home by trying to keep themselves open in communicating with their kid, but they go too far by smothering them and infantalizing their teenagers especially as uber liberal parents! Also, they portray two same sex parents the same way as a regular two parent household, while in truth, both sexes of parents give a better perspective than just one sex alone can. But we can’t admit that now can we?… One of the main characters too, the eldest daughter who was adopted later in the series goes on to study law but is an extremely liberal SJW who is morally conflicted about working for a conservative politician. There are no conservatives on that show at all, and if there are, are bigoted bad guys!

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These are just two examples out there of the many left-leaning shows than demonize conservatives and conservative view points. On a more positive note, there are a few shows that still are neutral or are more conservative! The remake of Rosanne portrayed a conservative middle class Trump supporting woman that many said got conservative women to “come out of the closet”. She was a positive portrayal for conservatives in being a person like them, middle class and hard working and multidimensional instead of just the stock character of the conservative fundamentalist bigot! Unfortunately, she said some “unwise” un-PC comments that got her show cancelled. In my mind though, they were just looking for any excuse they could find to silence her for speaking out against the radical left! Image result for roseanneAnother more neutral show is the Big Bang Theory. They do have some left leaning views, such as the hook up culture among the characters, but then again, sex sells, so it could just be the obligatory smut. However, they still poke jokes involving taboo topics like race and religion and make un-PC jokes 🙂 many are afraid to still make. Some characters, like Sheldon’s mom are conservative and southern, and not politically correct, but it’s meant to be a funny joke, as they make fun of everyone, not a serious portrayal to be taken seriously!

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Overall, liberalism is rampant on TV and in Hollywood! Like other venues for liberal propaganda, the film industry is full of it! This doesn’t mean you have to boycott every TV show and movie known to man, I still watch shows like Grey’s Anatomy for elements I do like, such as the actual medical cases (not the melodrama), but I know how to spot the liberal bias. I like many others, just wish for once, the liberals weren’t such hypocrites, and let everyone see themselves in the characters they enjoy and their values on the big screen, not just the other side’s.