We All Have Our Challenges, So Why are Yours More Important?

It’s old news and stating the obvious by now: The Left loves to point out all the alleged obstacles women and minorities face unlike the “privileged” white men. They say that white men are the pinnacle of society, nothing holds them back while everyone else faces insurmountable challenges to equality and success in society. They label white men as “pale and stale” and in my assessment, label themselves as “brown and down” The Left also loves to capitalize on dwelling on past oppression, even when the pendulum has swung the other way going so far in many cases as reverse discrimination.

In the face of any backlash against these views, comes the argument that the “privileged”, those who are white, straight, conservative, men, or all of the above have no right to an opinion because they haven’t been in the so called “oppressed’s” shoes. Now, I have to admit one thing: They are right that we don’t have the same life experiences as people who are different from us. We can’t speak our opinions on their situations from our direct experiences if we’re not them. There are factors in our lives that determine how the world treats us, and our life circumstances that are beyond our control.

However, does that mean that an outsider to someone’s plight has no right to an opinion of their own or an outside assessment of the situation? Who says that the only people who are allowed to have an opinion about someone’s circumstances are the people in the middle of them? Yes, the insider knows intimately what they feel about it, but that same intimacy strips them of any impartiality about their situation in life. Someone may feel they live in an environment of rampant harassment, or discrimination and ostracism, but is one’s personal perception always 100% accurate? What if outside sources didn’t corroborate your perceptions? As I wrote about before many times, your reality is not always the reality! Of course, we should find out what makes them feel a certain way to see if there’s something we do need to change, but it needs to be done in a non-biased way by outside sources as well as insiders.

I want to propose another more unique point though to consider. Imagine some of the challenges women and minorities for the sake of argument are in fact, true as the Left says it. I’m sure some may be as society while not as dismal as the Left loves to paint it as, is also not a utopia by any means! Bias and prejudice intentional and unintentional, do exist, and I can agree that such inequality needs improvement. However, and here’s my new insight, why do your challenges matter more than mine? Why is it when the “majority”, whether it be white people, men, conservatives etc… say they have obstacles they face in life that need improvement they’re dismissed as over-privileged whiners?

Everyone has obstacles, challenges, inequality they experience in their life no matter what race, gender, sexuality, etc… they are. What you look like does affect how the world perceives you and treats you. No, I honestly can’t say I know what it feels like to face life as a black person. Men can’t know intimately what it’s like to be women in society.  However…. A black person doesn’t know what a white person faces in life either. A woman doesn’t know the social pressures men face that hurt them. A biological male (who is a trans woman) has never had to feel the fear a girl or woman does when a man enters her private spaces such as a women’s restroom. And why is it limited to just race or gender for instance as categories of challenges? What about a big overlooked factor? Socio-economic status. A poor white family faces challenges a middle class family of color may not despite racial differences.

Of course, many will ask, “What about stereotypes?” Well, what about them? Is it not a stereotype to assume all white people are privileged and snobbish due to some sense of racial superiority? Is it not a stereotype to assume men are insensitive towards women and think of women only as sex objects or property? Stereotypes do affect how we are treated, but there is a stereotype for EVERYONE, so why are the hurtful stereotypes you face more important then the hurtful stereotypes I do?

The answer to this double standard seems clear: selective outrage and virtue signaling. This has become a superficial war not about true equality and fairness, but which group can vie for the most attention in the “Oppression Olympics”. The excuse is “but we faced more struggles than you ever did!”, but isn’t any inequality and unfairness detrimental to society? Am I saying that women and minorities never faced unfair challenges? No! What I’m saying is why are some people’s obstacles deemed more important and noteworthy than others, to the point of invalidating theirs? To try to illustrate more clearly:

The family of color might face less opportunity related to racial discrimination, but does that negate the white family down the street who face lack of opportunity due to poverty?

A woman may have to be more wary of sexual assault in public than a man would, but a man has to be more wary of the accusation of such!

A white man may feel he faces his own challenges getting hired due to his gender and skin color too due to affirmative action programs and a rhetoric of “dismantling” his “privilege”…

A woman might feel constrained by unfair gender roles and expectations while men have more freedoms than her in some areas of life, but has she considered the ways in which men are expected to conform to their own set of rules?

Does it matter more having all your achievements doubted due to a “minority” race or gender than having all your achievements invalidated and deemed handed to you for the same exact reason only difference being you’re white or male?

The list could go on and on and on…. My point is, my counterpoints to consider don’t invalidate the original claims to obstacles by people of color or women or instance, but are presented to illustrate the point that no one is obstacle free, (even white men) and raise the question; why do the challenges of some matter more than the challenges of others? Why the selective outrage? And this doesn’t even begin to touch upon other factors like family upbringing and one’s health for example!

My last insight into this is everyone has their own unique set of advantages and disadvantages that can be due to things out of our control and circumstances like socio-economic status. There is no way that your life will be challenge-free no matter who you are or what you look like. So, why incessantly whine about it instead of accepting that life can be unfair and you have to find ways to work with your obstacles?

It’s a great thing when people try to change things for the better, other times though, you have to pick your battles and accept your life will be different from the next person’s whether it involves looking out for your personal safety more than others, realizing you don’t look like those around you most of the time, having to work harder than others to prove your merit, having to rise up out of poverty others don’t face, having your own crushing pressure to conform to what society expects of you as a man or woman, having to show others you’re NOT who they think you are among a myriad of other examples. Yes sometimes, you just have to suck it up and work around what holds you back…

Do I advocate for a lack of empathy for the challenges others face? Absolutely not! We should all be conscientious of how fortunate we are and how others may not be. Every one of us has their own life journey and struggles that go along with it, so why are your life challenges more important than mine?

Image result for conservative cartoon triggered SJW's

Mom: The Most Important Job…

If you have been privileged to have an amazing mom then you know that she deserves her own special day and more! Regardless of race, gender, politics, religion, culture, etc… we can all agree a loving, caring, supportive mother who is your biggest fan and loves you unconditionally is one of your greatest privileges to have in this life.

Throughout history, across all cultures, all peoples, no matter what side you’re on, the shared experience many have of the love of their mothers brings most of humanity together. Yet, why is it then in our society motherhood is looked upon as a burden, a chore, enslavement even for women? Is motherhood easy? Certainly not! But what is easy in this life that’s worth lifelong happiness? The feminist movement now treats motherhood as part of the “patriarchy”, saying men pressure women to be mothers to enslave them as domestic servants while he goes out to have all the fun! They say that women should be able to get “real jobs” in order to be empowered. Fancy degrees, high powered careers, not “depend on a man” and that kids will hold you back. They say it’s sexist to think of women as mothers first and that their kids take away their identity. However, what if your kids are a permanent part of your identity and you want it that way? Is it possible a woman can live a traditionally feminine lifestyle as a wife and mother and find the fulfillment she wants in life without worrying about what the new age feminists think of her autonomy? What does it honestly say about our society when being the CEO of some company is more important and far more valued then raising the next generation of our future leaders? Or bringing new life into the world?

Some women are now raised to worry about what sort of “impact” she’ll make if she’s stuck at home living for her children and family? She says, “But I want to be empowered! I want to save the world! I want to have bigger dreams than beyond the walls of my home! I want to be autonomous like a man and dream of achieving everything my brothers can…” Now, I get that not all women want a domestic lifestyle and guess what? That’s fine by me. My issue however, is that such attitudes often are not made from many women’s intrinsic desires, but more of a way to “one-up” the patriarchy or “be like a man” as she feels this is the only way she’ll be empowered and autonomous, or make any impact on the world. She feels that it’s “sexist” to be told that motherhood is one of her greatest callings she can pursue, but what of the inherent sexism I’ve argued about before  in sending women the message that the only way to matter in this world is to become a man and shun traditional femininity? Isn’t it silly though, to believe that mothers make no mark on the world? Anyone who has had a mother in their life has been deeply impacted by her love, care, devotion and everlasting support, or in the unfortunate case where that was not the case, they do not forget how she was absent when they needed her to be a mother.

If motherhood does not make an impact, then why do countless cultures hold a special place of honor for a mother? Why is one of the rare times a man can break down and show real raw emotions is when he loses his mother, or get sentimental over the memories he’s had with her? Why can soldiers, trained for stoic bravery and fearlessness sob in the barracks at night over missing mom, or in their most vulnerable moment, cry out to her when sick or injured and people don’t see them as less of a man? Why have many high powered women in leadership positions, who have broken barriers for women often cite their mothers as their strength and inspiration to achieve their dreams? Or all the so called powerful men of the “patriarchy” credit their moms for their success as well? What about the phrase behind every great man is a great woman?

How can anyone say that the woman whose shoulder you cry on, the woman you laugh with, who loves you unconditionally, who applauds your successes and supports you in your weakest moments, who is your biggest fan, who has raised you since day one, who has carried you in her body to her own inconvenience big and small, or has opened her heart to you and raised you as if she had carried you within her, has sacrificed more than you will ever know for you and the family, etc…etc… did not make an impact in this world? Saying she has no freedom, and is reduced to a mere slave unable to achieve anything “worthwhile” like a job in the workforce is the most sexist insult you can give a woman, and yet society reinforces that message everyday to prospective mothers.

“Oh, you have so much life ahead of you…” “Don’t you want to be something else too?” “You’re too young to decide right now!” are all phrases we take for granted, and yet perpetuate the bias that motherhood and traditional womanhood is oppressive and limiting. Imagine anyone saying these things to girls when they say they want to be in a career! Absurd when you see it that way… A job isn’t everything in life. Yes, I realize that many women can’t be stay at home moms anymore, including my own mother. However, couldn’t that be argued to have been forced on women too, as a result of this “independent woman” craze? When we stopped expecting women to be home full time with the children and out in the workforce like men, we stopped supporting women as wives and mothers, and give less opportunities for men to be breadwinners in their families. Now, a woman not working is often considered a leech by men who feel she is just freeloading off his earnings, rather than being like the men before him who saw it as their duty as a man to provide for his wife and family.

Now, my mom did work like many mothers of this day and age in a solid career and actually was the breadwinner in my family! She enjoyed her career and did in fact, earn a graduate degree and is proud of that and of her ability to provide for her family. However, she was always mom first. Something many high powered career women who subscribe to the masculine ideal of a fulfilling life aren’t. She cut back her hours to always be a stable presence in my life and if she could have, she would have stayed home full time to raise me. She could have risen up higher in her job, but chose her children over her career ambitions because she knew that the impact she would make on me, and the legacy she would leave behind as a mother was far more important than a fleeting career promotion. She knew that a career was a wonderful thing to have, but being a mom was far more important and her #1 job no matter what!

The devaluing of mothers in society is the root of many issues today with women resentful of their own kids as obstacles rather than legacies, kids stuck in daycare full time rather than being with mommy, little help for stay at home moms to stay home and make ends meet, and the constant message of under-appreciation from a society bent on women becoming more and more like men. When will the so called feminists, advocates of women as they claim to be, stand up for traditional femininity as being equal to being like men? When will more women cherish the children they brought into this world more than their next job promotion? When will the lifelong impact and legacy a mother leaves on her family be valued just as much as the next scientific breakthrough or glass ceiling shattered? How worth it is shattering that glass ceiling if your children will be stuck on the other side?

Why does the world have to know about you? Why do you need approval from the whole world? Is the legacy you leave behind on your family enough? Why is being like a man with an outside job so much more meaningful than raising the next generation? To me, it speaks more of a society obsessed with money and worldly prestige, power and fame, which all fade soon enough, than with creating a legacy spanning generations of commitment, support, and unconditional love.

Look, there’s nothing bad about having careers or wanting other identities in addition to motherhood. Motherhood may not be for every woman, and if you truly don’t want to become one, for the sake for any future children raised in your future resentment and neglect, don’t be. But don’t discount becoming a mother because of some radical feminist message that it will make you a lesser human being or strip you of your empowerment, as the most empowered women I know are mothers and proud of it. It’s time we women  show the world we are NOT lesser or oppressed because we choose to value something different than being like the pseudo-men the feminist movement brainwashes us to become. Mothers, you ARE making an impact in this world, one FAR greater than any worldly career!

Thank you, Mom!

To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world… 

—Unknown

Yes, Sometimes You Have to Work Harder Than The Next Guy…

I’ve wanted to bring up this point for a while now: Sometimes it takes more work to get where you want than for another person.

Now, as obvious as this sounds to most people, apparently this is breaking news for the Left! Their beef is the fact that not everyone has that “even chance” in life. The most commonly cited examples being racial minorities or women. The Left argues that racial bias and prejudice has held back countless qualified employees, brilliant students and hard working people from reaping the deserved rewards for their hard work. The idea that even despite the civil rights movement and a bigger push for equality, racism is still rife and people will do anything to get around anti-discrimination laws leading to the system keeping racial minorities in poverty and trapped in a downward spiral. Instead of seeing many minority communities as represented by lawyers, doctors, CEO’s etc… they are seen as welfare leeches, criminals and a drain on society.

Women too, as gender is the other huge example they argue about face similar bias in the eyes of the Left. Women are dismissed, not taken seriously, looked upon as weak, incompetent, and unsuited for many lines of work traditionally done by men. However, the trends have changed as more and more women break the barriers once faced by women historically. Never the less, the Left still argues women only are paid 3/4 of what men are and are held back from reaching higher levels in their respective careers and limited in stereotypes of more “feminine” lines of work.

In both cases of race and gender, the idea is that those who fall in to either (or both!) don’t have the same chances of a white male in particular of landing a good career or getting into a good school. In the minds of the Left, the system keeps them trapped, and the idea that in America, you can work your way up in this life is a fantasy. Now, I don’t deny that gross inequalities have existed historically, and still exist in society. I understand that not everyone does have an even chance at life and success and the wider forces of society do influence all of us and what we’re able to achieve. However, the Left misses a very crucial other piece of the puzzle to success: The individual’s determination to get what they want.

I think the Left has created their own reality about the situation. They over attribute social factors negating personal ones and other factors that may have had the outcome of being held back. I’ve argued more in detail about the whys in previous posts, but for the sake of the argument I want to make let’s assume everything the Left says about “the system” keeping women and minorities down is trueSo, to be clear here, the basic assumptions I am going off of are the ideas that racial minorities and women are kept back by society and that their race, gender or both have been the main factor in hindering their success in life.

However, who says race and gender are the only factors holding you back? Yep. Just because you weren’t hired you can automatically assume it had to be racially motivated, or because you’re a woman? What about factors such as social connections, family connections and networking? I personally have applied for many jobs where I had none of the above, and got the job. However, I’m sure I didn’t get the other 9 out of 10 I applied for because there was a shoe-in from within the company. Or the manager’s cousin needed work. Or I just didn’t know anyone who could put in a good word about me. Or in college, the professor running the research or that internship already knew another student well and liked their work while I came in as a complete stranger. College is the same! Ever heard of legacy admissions? 😉 Or the other family donated a ton of money to the school. Or the last spot was filled by the Dean’s nephew ahead of 20 other qualified students including you. You can’t rule out that factor if you have no connections for the job or the dream school you want no matter what your race or gender! You cant know for sure exactly why you didn’t make the cut, and if you lack connections of any kind, you can’t rule that out.

What about prior experience and qualifications? Yes, you might have a Master’s degree in business administration, but that company wants someone who worked in a bigger company or with a specific skill set. A college may not accept you if they want to fill some quota of different majors or clubs people are in. Maybe they wanted a more intense focus in specific types of community service. Just because you’re a female professor, or a professor of color doesn’t mean that’s the reason you didn’t get tenure. They might have wanted someone with different research concentrations. Or your class reviews went down this year. Or they have that shoe-in already no matter what you do to make yourself the most deserving. You would think jobs and schools would be transparent about such specific desires, but often times they’re not. I have applied to many opportunities without a strong history of past relevant experiences, and surprise, surprise, I wasn’t chosen. Am I entitled to jump to the conclusion it’s because I’m a woman despite my lack of relevant experience?

Now some might say, “but I did have a stellar resume, GPA, etc… and still didn’t get the job or into the school I wanted!” For that, I say see the paragraph on lack of connections, and consider the fact that as I just said, they might be looking for a specific thing you don’t have despite your experiences and qualifications. I had a strong academic record to bring to the table in my college application to my top choice school. However, I wasn’t accepted. Why? I don’t know exactly, but my guess is I didn’t have something else they wanted to bring to that next year’s class. However, a Y chromosome wasn’t my first guess! 😉 So in conclusion, there are other factors you need to consider before crying victim to racial or gender discrimination.

Even if you can eliminate those other factors in why you weren’t given the opportunity, and you can solidly conclude it was your race or gender, does that have to stop you? Maybe you do have to work twice as hard to prove yourself. Maybe you do have to put out more applications, follow up more, become more assertive in pursuing your career goals. Maybe you do need to prove to them your priority is with them, and not with what they assume it is. Is it fair you are under a microscope your colleagues or classmates are not? No! But is life fair 100% of the time for anyone? Maybe white guy down the hall isn’t getting promoted or is in danger of getting laid off because he doesn’t have connections despite being white and male, but you just don’t know his situation and assume he’s working his way up easily because of his skin color or his chromosomes when he might be under his own microscope too. Maybe you’re a minority, but have a degree, training, specific research, past relevant internships etc…the white person doesn’t giving you the edge on your resume when coming up for review.

Point is, regardless of if we get what we want or not, we all have a mixture of advantages and disadvantages that may include race and gender. I’m not saying there is no gender or racial bias out there. However, why is race and gender “extra special” and entitle you to cry victim over for example, someone who simply doesn’t have the right connections? You can argue, “but you have no control over race or gender”, but how much control do you have over whether or not you’re the manager’s cousin?

So what’s a person to do? You have to work harder than everyone else, exceed expectations, be held to a higher standard, and you can’t control your race or gender. The solution seems to be mind blowing to the Left: Instead of whining and demanding affirmative action programs and quotas, actually put in the extra work to get what you want. Yes. Outwork the next guy and if you have to work twice as hard, work twice as hard! If the world thinks you don’t look like what you want to be, don’t whine about how oppressed you are, prove them wrong by pushing hard to achieve your goals. You may need more patience. People might push back and try to limit you. Not hire you. Not admit you. You probably won’t get in as fast as a more “privileged” person. But will you let that stop you? And what if there is no one like you in your dream field? Well someone had to be the first woman/minority doctor, lawyer, researcher, PhD holder, engineer, etc…  Why can’t the next someone be you? Blaze the trail yourself if you want the path created. Our heroes we look up to in the history books all did in spite of the prejudice and bias.

If you give up, doesn’t that just let those whom you feel are keeping you down win? If you throw in the towel and don’t call back, stop applying, don’t push for what you want to do in life and say “Well, I’m a person of color/woman so I will never get where I want to be” then you gave up on yourself. Not the world. Is it fair you’re held back more than others for reasons you have no control over? No! But that’s reality. Don’t whine about wanting change, BE the change! Hurdles don’t mean a closed door. They just mean a door that’s a little harder to unlock. But there is a key. That key just means working harder than the other guy sometimes… All you need is to be given one chance for that door to open. It’s up to you to have the motivation to seek it out. You CAN go far in life, you just have to work a little harder sometimes 🙂

One final point: What about the fact that white males are passed over now due to affirmative action programs? Perhaps today being a woman or minority is now the advantage 😉 …

Image result for affirmative action cartoon

My Womanhood is NOT Your Costume…

Transgenderism is a hot and contentious topic for the Left, with many angles at play! The part I want to focus on in all this lunacy though, is on the premise the Left has put out in that since gender is a mere social construct, it justifies the legitimacy of recognizing transgender people, especially women, as being entitled to be treated as if they were actual biological women (or men, but I’ll focus on women for the scope of this article)! Their argument is that gender is a social construct, something society raises you to be, rather than an innate quality. They further add the confusion that the undeniable biological aspect is now written off as its own separate thing as one’s “sex”, but “gender” is the purely social aspect, such as wearing certain clothing, or liking certain things over others. In essence, it really comes down to a nature vs. nurture debate, and how fluid these concepts really are.

Now, I will say up front, I don’t think that many people who label themselves transgender are being insincere or that they just want to be say, a woman on a superficial whim. I think many truly do feel they were born in the wrong body, and have sympathy for how much that must hurt and how utterly confusing that must be. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone! However, society deciding that this is normal for a person to feel about themselves is absurd, not just a normal biological variation! I also argue that the idea of “gender as a social construct” brings with it many detrimental and frankly insulting implications that many take for granted and completely overlook!

First off though, what are we really saying when we say that? It’s not just a neutral statement of a proposed fact. No! It’s the logical flaw that by implying it’s not a natural trait, and it’s not innate, it doesn’t matter at all. The real idea behind this is that gender should be obsolete, and because it’s not something we consider natural anymore, it’s completely outdated and irrelevant! What we really mean by “gender is a social construct” is that “gender is something artificially imposed and needs to be gotten rid of”.  That statement is loaded, and carries a very heavy value judgement! If it were natural, in Left’s mind, they couldn’t undermine and de-legitimize it as easily..

But, you know what also is a “social construct”? Race! That’s right, the Left now says race too is not grounded in biology, but in society’s whims! However, can we be trans-racial??? Heck no! Just ask that woman who was ousted for being biologically white, but identified as black! If a white person tries to do so, they are automatically being racist, and appropriating someone’s race! One may argue, “but racial differences are very obvious, so you’d know someone cannot be another race…” but don’t men and women look different? And not just clothes, make up and hair! Men grow beards, women don’t. Men’s bodies are bigger, stockier, stronger, differently shaped. Not to mention what’s down below! 😉 Humans after all, are a sexually dimorphic species! The argument against racial appropriation by the Left, that especially if white, you can’t just wear say, a black person’s styles, appropriate their music, their traditions, their food, their heritage and claim you’re one of them, is based on the idea that you haven’t been through their struggles. You want the “fun” aspects of being them, but you haven’t faced their hardships. Haven’t faced their struggles, their obstacles, and to add insult to injury, you’re part of why they have those struggles. Yet, you want to claim their unique heritage as your own??? The nerve!

Well, guess what? This should apply to gender too! If what the Left says is true, about women being disadvantaged, then what gives a man the right to appropriate what belongs to women? If women are living in fear of being assaulted by men, raped by men, paid less than men, devalued as lesser, then why on Earth should a man get to appropriate their unique heritage, in other words, as women? If it is true, as many Leftists believe, that men have male privilege, just like whites have white privilege, then isn’t it privilege to be able to just pick and choose to express one’s self as the female gender but have the option of going back to being a man when convenient? It’s just like a white person wearing blackface! They can take off the color at the end of the day. A person of color has to live with it, and the stigma it allegedly brings. Well same for gender! A guy can take off the dress, the heels, the make up, shave his head again. A woman, however, cannot just transform into a man and all her troubles will go away! She cannot take off her “costume” so she won’t be assaulted, raped, paid less, devalued. She has to live with the struggles too, not just the perks. The man in the dress can punch the attacker, throw off the rapist, while she is helpless to throw off someone twice her strength! Even if he decides to never live as a man again, he still can get the upper hand with his physically stronger body! Also, in line with the Left’s concept of privilege, isn’t it a form of privilege to be able to just throw away your privilege??? A man choosing to be a woman gives up his “male privilege” and swapping it for vulnerability and scorn. However, as “oppressed” as he then makes himself, he chose to take on that. A real woman didn’t. She was born with the fact she would have far greater chances of being assaulted, raped, devalued. She does not have the luxury to throw away privilege wantonly, nor gain it by becoming a man!

No. It’s NOT a two way street. Transgender men are not just “one of the guys”. They do not have extra “privilege”. However, a transgender woman now must be treated as a full woman by Leftist decree! Even if he genuinely feels like he wants to live his life as a woman and never go back, he can. That’s the thing. And that he had the choice to give up his “privilege” of being a man in the Left’s allegedly “patriarchal” society. Real women never have those luxuries. Just like a white person can impersonate, and maybe even genuinely feel like a black person, but has the choice to go back to being white and on top, to take off the “costume”. If a guy wanting to be a girl wants to wear the pretty dresses, the heels, curl his hair, go to the girl’s nights as one of the girls, hang at the mall, do all the fun things women like to do, he should also have had to face her struggles. To be afraid to walk alone at night. To carry pepper spray. To know the fear of being harassed on the street. To be held back on the job. Underestimated, viewed as weak, a victim. Why should someone get to reap in the rewards, without having to go through the struggles? Do I believe the world is really so bleak for women? Not as much as the Left certainly does! But by the Left’s own logic and views on women being oppressed, this is a logical argument…

Also, and less obvious, is a quite insulting implication inherent in this argument: That womanhood, as a social construct, is merely just a superficial costume that anyone can put on… The idea that all womanhood really is, is putting on a dress and heels and make up, styling your hair, and doing “girly things”. As long as you do those, you’re a woman! However, I and many other women would disagree! There’s so much more than superficial looks or going through the motions involved in the intangible parts of womanhood.  The sisterhood all women share together in their deep experiences, and very natures runs far deeper than our make up, our heels, or dresses and hair. Liking shopping and fashion and traditional womanly things is not all there is to our very essence, our unique humanity as women. See, also like one’s race, one’s sex does indeed affect how you perceive the world, and how the world perceives you. Women do not have the same upbringing, the same experiences as men, not because there’s a mass conspiracy that half of humanity wants to oppress us, but because of the simple fact we are NOT men!

Our trillion or so cells speak the plain and simple truth: we are different in our very core. Study after study shows girls consistently play in a more nurturing way than boys. We evolved to nurture, to be more gentle, to be social. We evolved to be the child bearers, and experience the wonders of motherhood, which no man will ever experience. Even the Left acknowledges this in its anti-man “you can never have an opinion on women’s issues because you aren’t a woman!”. See? Even they know, deep down men and women are innately different! That our experiences differ. Our challenges differ. Our womanhood runs far deeper than any costume, any “social construct”, yet, the Left argues implicitly in the idea that a man can put on a dress, heels, inject some hormones, that he can be a woman through superficial behaviors alone, that womanhood is just an actor’s role to play and our feminine style a mere “costume” that can be taken on and off. Oh, and by the way, doesn’t the use of hormones help point to our biological differences too??? 😉  One can’t say hormones our bodies we’re genetically programmed to release upon puberty that make us different are a “social construct”!

Ladies, we are NOT just a costume that anyone can just put on and pretend to be! Our womanhood, our shared experiences, our challenges, the deep bond rooted in womanhood we share with our mothers from day 1 cannot be replicated in someone who is biologically, and socially, raised as a man! Even those who were raised to be men from infancy, but were biological women always felt “different” and not like just another “guy”… Same for girls who were guys inside… To say that womanhood is something anyone can be on a whim, on a feeling, is gravely belittling and insulting to women everywhere! It’s like a woman saying she can just experience every aspect of manhood, without his struggles, his upbringing, his innate nature.

Yes, I know people literally feel they were born in the wrong body, a woman’s soul/mind in a man’s body, but if you were raised as a man, are biologically a man, then no you can’t truly feel like a true woman, know what it is to be one, anymore than one can truly, intrinsically perceive the world like someone who’s a native speaker of a language can versus someone who happens to speak it fluently but was not raised from day 1, in the culture of the speaker! Yes, you can learn a language quite well, but you can never truly perceive the world and be a native speaker within their cultural matrix and have their exact perception of the world though their native tongue. That’s my analogy for experiencing the opposite sex’s world… You can play the part well, but you cannot truly be the real deal unless you are!

Look, I don’t demonize transgender people for wanting to be the other sex. What I do heavily criticize though, is the idea that they can be the exact same, and be entitled to the exact same treatment as a real woman in this case, because they never truly can be. And they know that themselves! Indeed! No matter how much they “transition”, they know in their heart of hearts they are not a woman in the same way as real biological women! They can come mighty close, even look like a woman, sound like one, like in the case of Jazz Jennings, maybe you can’t even tell just by looking. But do you honestly feel “women” like “her” truly, honestly, and 100% believe they are indeed women in every single sense of the word??? I’m not out to say she needs to switch back, or she’s out to hurt anyone personally. She’s probably just trying to genuinely live out “her” life as a woman.

However, she and the others set a precedent where society devalues our essence, our very humanity as women that only a real, biological woman can ever truly know. The inherent sexism in the idea that men can just be women upon their choice devalues our womanhood into a superficial acting job! If a person’s race is not your costume, a person’s culture is not your costume, why should a person’s gender or sex be someone else’s to appropriate? This is heresy for the Left to say, but I will say it loud and clear guys, : My womanhood is NOT your costume! 

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Saving Yourself for Marriage: It’s Not Just for the Ladies…

I advocate for waiting until marriage to have sex and practicing abstinence as it is about the only 100% effective birth control 😉 The dangers of promiscuity are rife, and include STD’s unwanted pregnancies and not to mention, a damaged reputation! Sleeping around has real and lasting consequences. It’s not just theoretical fluff made to scare you in middle school health class! From seedy people, to getting into a mess of who gave whom that nasty rash, to “who’s its daddy?”, the dangers of promiscuous sex are rife! It makes sense that sex has been linked to morality throughout history, as the consequences are steep if not done carefully and with great consideration of who you choose and when you choose to. However, a large criticism of the topic of the heavy risks of promiscuity is that it’s mainly, unfairly that is, geared towards women but not men. The feminists say that men get a free pass often times, and can be “players” and use promiscuity as a status symbol, while women are expected to reign in her sexuality and not be promiscuous like men can. While there is truth in this allegation, I argued before that women should be more guarded and cautious about their sexual appetite as women do in fact, have a lot more to lose such as an unwanted pregnancy! Never the less, my main point now is, it’s not just the ladies who need to be careful and avoid promiscuity!

Yes, men face less risks that women do in regards to unbridled sex. Less stigma, danger of meeting the wrong people who could hurt them, and no unwanted pregnancy! However guys, the coin has two sides 😉 You can get a girl pregnant and have to pay child support for the next 18 years! She can say you’re the dad and smear your reputation along with hers. You may avoid being raped forcibly or beaten up by a bad guy, but beware the wrath of an angry father who thinks you corrupted “his little girl”! STD’s don’t discriminate between sexes at all. She has it, you got it! Being a “player” may sound cool to your buddies, but no respectable girl worthy of a stable marriage and family life will want to marry a guy who plays around! To get a lady, you must be a gentleman. Players attract cheap girls who will do it with anyone, not suitable wives and mothers of your future children! The “fun gal” wears off by the next morning. Better to wait for your forever wife 🙂

If none of this persuades you, consider the immense legal risks of playing the field with every girl you see! Let’s say you’re in college… You go to a party, want to have a little fun tonight, meet some hot girls. Ooh! That girl across the room is a 10! Your buddies encourage you to make a move. She likes you, and pretty soon, we all know where this is going next… Fast forward to the next morning. She’s gone. You get an angry text from your parents. What’s going on? Turns out her parents contacted yours and threatened to press charges in court for statutory rape! What??? But how? She basically jumped on me! Turns out she wasn’t 18 yet. She was the 16 year old sister on the college tour staying for the weekend with her older sister in college. But, she looks like she’s 20! She didn’t act like she was only 16 years old… She sounded like a fellow college girl! But here you are, facing potential charges in court for statutory rape because her daddy thinks you corrupted his “sweet 16” naive, innocent little angel!

Yes guys, this scenario plays out all the time! You could be the guy who would never dream of taking advantage of an underage girl, but easily mistake a well developed and mature sounding 16 year old for an 18 year old! I mean, honestly, let’s all take off our PC hats and say it out right: 16 and 18 are NOT that different! Two years. That’s all it can be between consensual sex and a criminal act with the law set at that arbitrary number. Even 17 a few months shy of 18 is still considered a minor, incapable of consent! And yes, girls do lie…. Take this example! Is this fair? Not really when you think of it. Are honest, moral guys just looking for a good time with an appropriately aged consenting partner supposed to demand ID now? How can you ever be 100% sure that young lady is of age or that other girl isn’t! Looks CAN be deceiving. I personally looked younger than my real age, so a guy could have passed me up at 18 but taken the other 16 year old who looked like she was 20! (Thankfully, I was raised to be wiser than to ever be in such a scenario!)

The only 100% “safe” solution is to A: Never choose young looking women as sex partners and only stick to those over 30… (Yes, many older teenagers, 16,17, even 15 in some cases look like they’re in their 20’s) or B: Don’t be a player and want to score every girl you don’t even know and only choose a well known intimate partner who has no secrets from you, a.k.a. a girlfriend or preferably wife! If you play around, it can be like Russian roulette, not only for unwanted pregnancies you have to pay for, angry fathers, STD’s, and decent women not wanting to come within a mile of you, but you could end up in jail, and on a sex offender registry. Trust me. That will ruin your life. Period! NO ONE wants to live near or hire an alleged “sex offender”! Oh, and last point on this topic, even with a steady girlfriend it can be statutory rape!  It happened to a 19 year old who dated a girl only 2 or 3 years younger! Wait until you meet a girl, get to know her and tie the knot!

And another major point and for men of every age! #MeToo hysteria. If you sleep around, it may haunt you even decades later if the girl wants to get back at you for something, be famous, get money or some other gain. Just look at Kavanaugh! He probably didn’t even have sex, but that didn’t stop Christine Ford from smearing him for a month or more! One word from any woman, one who regretted the foolish drunken sex you both had, wants to get out of her daddy being mad at her for getting pregnant even though she freely consented even if you’re both minors, wants to spite you on the job, anything really. Good, decent, honest boys and men who would never even think to take a woman against her will, never say lewd things, never touch her inappropriately, can be smeared in the blink of an eye! Being a private act, it’s just your word vs. hers, and in this society, hers often wins. I hate to say it, but in this society, you are a predator, and she is the victim. Doesn’t matter if you never touched her. Even were in 100 feet of her. In a society now where a little 5 year old is labeled a predator for hugging a teacher, it’s easy to see how every man is seen as a rape waiting to happen by the #MeToo crowd!

While even men who never had sex with a lot of women or were promiscuous are being smeared, not having sex with women you don’t know well even an acquaintance, lessens your risk of being framed and accused. Mike Pence, though being smeared now as misogynist for staying away from being alone with women, has an excellent point. By never putting himself in a position were a woman can say anything unsubstantiated, he drastically lessened his risk for false allegations! Being more guarded around women, and not putting yourself in potentially risky situations such as alone, behind closed doors, and of course, being intimate with women you aren’t intimately close to such as a long term steady girlfriend or wife, is not just about arbitrary morality and prudishness. It can save your butt from being thrown in the slammer 😉 A sad world I know, but this is the reality for men in the era of radical feminism, #MeToo hysteria… Nothing is ever innocent to the left!

Gentlemen: Please wait for just that perfect girl. Wait to be with your wife. Wait to be with the woman you can fully trust, be vulnerable around and still feel safe in that there isn’t a risk of her smearing you later, the woman with whom you shared all your secrets, the woman who is faithful to you alone, the woman who will spend the rest of her life with you, the one woman you want to call “wife”. Girlfriends can come and go, but a woman who honors her vows in marriage to you, and entrusts her body to you in the form of deepest intimacy is about the only truly “safe” woman to be intimate with. Don’t settle for skanks, and “good time gals”. Don’t choose instant gratification and a mountain of risks and liabilities over a lifetime of intimacy with just the perfect girl for you. True love, (and satisfaction 😉 ) waits!

And on a last, but certainly not insignificant note, is think about the girl. Think about the girl who should save herself too for just the right guy. You dally with her, and she too is deprived of giving her future husband one of her greatest gifts. You helped turn her milestone as a woman into a cheap handshake. Be the bigger man. The foolish, naive young girl who thinks a fling would be fun needs guidance, not instant gratification for her curiosity! A real man tells her “no” and that she’s worth more than to give herself away to any guy who asks! Treat her like how you would want your daughter to be treated by a gentleman! A real man waits for a woman ready to give herself to him for life, and honors and protects the integrity of young ladies who have yet to find their one and only 🙂

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Yes, We Need Strong Men!

In light of recent events with Gillette’s anti-traditional man commercial, people are speaking out and speaking up for the traditional man! I wanted to cover this topic before, but now seems like the prime time to do so. See, the idea of the traditional man, like the traditional woman, is under attack. The gender neutral movement of radical feminism is not truly about making things fair for women, but an attempt to eliminate any natural differences between men and women in society! They say gender is a social construct, which implies it is theirs to manipulate, and engineer in whatever Leftist direction they choose.

This has created a monster: One where little boys are now forbidden to play soldier, roughhouse, or pursue a mate later in life. All gender roles are now un PC, and boys must be taught to play with dolls, wear pink, and mothers encourage their sons to “let out their feelings” and be “vulnerable”. A boy’s natural energy is pathologized in schools as a special ed issue or a video game a gateway to being the next shooter. A little boy hugging a teacher is an assault, or pursing a playground crush if she says “eew!”. Boys creating harmless mischief and antics, or a no girls allowed tree house or club is not “sexist”. A man who wants his wife to raise his children, and vows to protect her, or puts women first in his life is now “patronizing”. A father who guards his daughter’s heart is accused of treating her like a slave. A military that wants strong men, not weaker women is now “discriminatory”… And so on and so on.

Now, the Left says gender roles are too restrictive, and enforce a “patriarchy”, but did they ever think why those roles were there in the first place? Like it or not, men are women are different. Different physically, and yes, in aptitude and emotionally as well. Humans are a sexually dimorphic species after all, if you just look down below 😉 Our traditional evolved roles suited our unique traits, thus, men being the protector and provider and doing more physical labor, while women doing the child rearing, and keeping the home, foraging, making materials needed back at camp, while the men went out to hunt and such. Many un-industrialized cultures still do this. However, as the Left points out, we’re in the 21st century, not the stone age! Our roles can become more fluid than man hunt, woman gather! And to an extent, I agree. Women and men can overlap more in today’s society in roles such as work and childcare. However, some things have not changed…

We still need our men to protect and provide for society. The cold hard truth is, women are weaker physically than men. Think of why it’s so appalling for a man to hit a woman. It’s appalling to be violent towards anyone, but the key here, as many would agree, is the woman is at an unfair disadvantage, just like it would be unfair to pair wrestlers of vastly different weight classes together for a match! Women are still more vulnerable to violence and assault, due to their weaker physicality. Men have more ways to fight back than women. Why are more women raped than men? Assaulted? It’s not the “patriarchy”, as men are also raped, but at a far less number. Now, one could argue male temperaments towards sexual aggression are higher, but doesn’t that, Lefties, imply that men and women are innately different??? Part of it, a large part I think is women simply are often too weak to fight a man pinning them down versus another guy. Try that on a guy, and take your life in your hands! Point is, women still need protection.

So does society at large. Think of who made up soldiers and armies throughout history. Only recently were women allowed in combat roles! Another sad state of affairs in gender neutral lunacy… Who defended the campsite from the rival tribe, or the predator? Who is there to defend the country in times of war? Who is strong enough to fight hand to hand with an enemy, or kick in a door or take down a thief? Who will defend a woman’s or a child’s life in times of need? Who was it helping women get out during mass shootings across the country? Who shielded their girlfriends in the movie theater and sacrificed their lives for the women they loved? Do we want all that to go away in the name of gender neutrality? Is this what toxic masculinity is about? Why do you think the marines’ tests of endurance wind the majority of women, and even men?! Do you honestly think that women in intense combat roles is just as good for our defense as the strongest men?

What’s so wrong with men being the leader and provider either? The feminists say women can look after themselves, and have the same providing role as men, but then who’s looking after the next generation? Just as men for eons have been the protectors and providers, women have been the child rearers and nurturers in the home. There is something about a mother’s love and care a father cannot replicate. Nor vice versa. “Mr. mom” will never replace REAL mom as much as the radical feminists wish to delude themselves. Mommy’s work is not more important than being there for the children, who need her at home the most, no matter what is deemed “empowering” to women at the expense of the next generation. Nor will a single mom replace the guidance and leadership a father can give his sons as future men, or his daughter in matters of the heart. As told before, the war on fatherhood is real, with dads being told to step down in their role as their children’s leader, especially in the lives of daughters. Now, it’s “toxic” to screen a daughter’s boyfriends, or tell her to wait and be chaste until the time is right. A man can’t show his daughter the men he chooses to trust her with without accusations of treating her like chattel! A woman can’t entrust her heart to her father anymore, or be given away at the altar without the Left whining about it! A man who is the rock of his family, the leader and provider is not outdated, just deemed “toxic” by the Left.

Toxic masculinity is NOT about saying “boys will be boys”, letting boys roughhouse, young men talking crudely in a private locker room, or a young man pursuing a date. It’s not the husband who will be the rock of his family, provide, honor and protect his wife. It’s not the man who feels women should be treated like ladies, let in first, given a seat, holding a door for them, paying for their date night. Nor is it the father who guards his daughter’s heart until marriage, or encourages her to know her worth and makes sure any suitor knows it too 😉 Or the brother who protects his sister’s honor when the bully called her a slut. Or the good Samaritan who stood up for a woman in need. Or the man who answers the call to defend his country or his community as a solider or policeman.

Boys talking crudely is NOT about justifying raping women! A man who provides for his wife is not controlling her finances. A father who guards the heart of his daughter is not treating her like his personal property, but his personal responsibility. A young man in pursuit of a girl is not forcing himself on her, nor forcing her to date him. A man who believes “women and children first” or that violence against women is a special type of evil is not being patronizing, but honoring the fact his strength was meant to serve the weaker and more vulnerable among us. No! REAL toxic masculinity is the wife beater. The abuser. The drunkard who won’t provide. The cheating husband. The rapist. The pedophile. The criminal. The enemy. The terrorist. The harasser that won’t stop. The bully who calls your sister that vile name.

I’m so grateful I was raised by a strong man. A man who can be sentimental, but never carried away in emotion and hysteria! A man who is the rock in his family, whom his wife and children are his priority. Who always wants to provide and jumps at every opportunity to do so. Who guards my heart until I find the right man to take his place one day once he is gone. Who shows me what a real man is, what he does and what he expects of a lady in return. Who would lay down his life for my mother and I. Who believes that every woman deserves to be protected and honored by men in society. Who can laugh with the guys over a lewd joke or “locker room talk” yet views a real rapist or assaulter of women as more vile than a murderer! And can be tough without being a bully. Who can like guy things like monster trucks, sports cars, guns, etc… yet also appreciate the beauty of art and color, or music. Who can appreciate a good looking woman, without ever one thought of being unfaithful to his wife.

He believes in gender equality, and always treated the women in his life accordingly, yet also recognized that equal does not have to mean identical and that women have strengths where men don’t and men have strengths where women don’t. Nor in guarding my heart, views me as his personal property that he is entitled to do as he sees fit. In fact, he often tells me “It’s your decision” 😉 He wants me to have my own mind, my own path in life, my own career, but also, to open my heart to a man like himself. A protector and provider who will honor, protect, cherish, and lead me. He has real feelings, but is not weak. Is tough but not a bully. Appreciates a good looking woman, but not a slime bag. Can banter with the boys but never once mistreated a woman. Knows the worth of women in his life, but is not afraid to assert his own worth as a traditional masculine man!

Toxic masculinity is NOT the idea of the traditional man as provider, protector and leader of his family and his community! The man who can put up a good wresting match, or holds his emotions back to be there when his family needs him in times of crisis. The man who likes monster trucks and guns instead of soap operas, and knitting sweaters! The man who would rather avoid pink in his wardrobe. The man who tells his wife “I’ll provide for you and our children” or his daughter “he’s not good for you”. The man who answers the call of duty here and abroad. And it’s certainly not men who are man enough to have to shave each morning 😉

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The (New) Modern Woman…

The image of the “modern woman” has pervaded since the rise of all waves of feminism. She may be different depending on the era, the woman who could vote, the woman who could work, the woman who could wear pants, get dirty, own property, choose her husband, plan her family or chose not to have one, think for herself, be heard in the world, have a voice in society, etc..etc… The modern woman was one who could look to a bright future for herself, on her own terms. It’s a vision that all women like to think of themselves being able to be. However, like most idealistic visions, the reality often falls short. Am I saying that the “modern woman” ideal is necessarily bad, in the qualities listed above? No, not really. I want women to have autonomy, to get to choose her life choices, to decide who she deems worthy of marriage, to think for herself and be heard in the world, yes, all of those are not things I’m against. The problem arises though when this vision goes to extremes and becomes radicalized. The “modern woman” of today is not what our grandmothers and great grandmothers who fought for the vote pictured in their youth!!!

The “modern woman” of today is one who embraces vulgarity, loudness, and vitriol over the strength that comes from valid ideas and the feminine softness of ladies past. She is one who embraces sexual anarchy rather than sexual freedom through promiscuity and immodesty rather than tempered choices. She is one who will flaunt that sleazy vulgarity through “pussy hats”, dressing like vaginas, smearing fake blood to mimic menstruation as “girl power”, and shun all aspects of traditional femininity. To her, sex is a handshake not a milestone. A child is a burden personally and professionally to be cast aside and neglected emotionally, mentally, even physically lest it get in her way of being the “modern woman”. Motherhood is enslaving, not her highest calling as a woman. A man is the enemy, a hindrance and source of all oppression just waiting to force her back in the kitchen! Divorce is normal for the empowered woman, and marriage is merely dating 2.0. The honor and privilege of being a wife is now erased through terms like “Ms.”. Feminine dress is seen as enslaving and dis-empowering, as she must mimic a man in all aspects of her life to feel worth something as a person. She must have a career like a man does, earn like he does, dress like he does, think like he does, even talk like he does to feel worthy and empowered. A man in all but name! She must talk back, never compromise or acquiesce to her husband or father’s wishes, even partially least she be oppressed by the patriarchy! Protest male only spaces while entitled to women only spaces. Hate standards of beauty, decry make-up, bras, nail polish, beauty products, as part of the “patriarchy”. Mistakes bossiness and pushiness for healthy assertiveness and confidence. Sees perversion, injustice and oppression in girls being girls and embracing girl things such as dolls, dresses, fairy tales etc… Be the perpetual victim, damsel in distress when it suits them such as the #MeToo card, etc… etc…

That said, many reasonable women who decry the hypocrisy, inherent sexism, condescension, and vitriol of the radical feminist movement would think the notion of the “modern woman” must be thrown out! However I propose the idea can be reclaimed for the positive. There is a way, I feel to reach a healthy middle ground in this desire for more equality, while also embracing traditional feminine virtues and our womanhood as is, not feminist imposed pseudo-manhood! I propose a vision where we can be ladies of elegance and grace, like our grandmothers, while also embracing some positive aspects of the desire for increased autonomy and independence for women of today. Being a lady does not mean you have to be stuck in 1918 in 2018 😉 For example:

  • The modern woman can make her own choices, but chooses them because she should, not merely because she can!
  • The modern woman uses her freedom to enhance her life, not spite others, such as doing something specifically to “spite the patriarchy”…
  • The modern woman has sexual freedom, but not sexual anarchy! She knows with freedom comes responsibility, and embracing hook up culture only leads to danger, unhappiness, STD’s, unwanted pregnancy, etc…etc…
  • The modern woman chooses her partner freely, without being coerced or forced by her father, but honors and cherishes the man she chooses and respects his wishes…
  • The modern woman can embrace a marriage of equals in dignity and worth, with separate but complimentary roles…
  • The modern woman can give her heart and her person to one man in marriage, till death do you part, be “one flesh” with him and give yourself to him without being his “property”, as he ought to do the same for you. She knows that she is forever his, and he is forever hers… She embraces the title of wife (“Mrs.”) as an honor, not a slave-name!
  • The modern woman is not “dependent” on a man, but leans on him, looks to him in times of hardship and vulnerability for him to be her rock and protector, with the knowledge she does so freely and that she will be his rock in his time of need. She knows she can share her sorrows and joys with him, without being “dependent” and “weak”…
  • The modern woman listens to the wise counsel and guidance of her father in her younger years and as a budding woman, so that she will not be lead astray by bad people and tricked by her own naivety to the world, without feeling her father owns her and micromanages her life! She lets him give her away at the alter, in the spirit of transferring the role of his love and support to her new husband, who when he passes, will be her rock as he once was. Not in the sense it is a literal transfer of property anymore!
  • The modern woman can be a leader without leading the same way a man might go about it. She realizes that the strongest people can be the most soft spoken and gentle in nature but rise to every challenge…
  • The modern woman can embrace traditional feminine dress and styles, and live her life unhindered by that choice without the pressure to wear pants just because a man does! Her worth comes from inside her, not what’s covering her legs!
  • The modern woman can be the keeper of the home, nurturer of the family, and be worth more than anything to her family and to a wholesome society of intact families raised in love and devotion.
  • The modern woman can have a career, but values the title of M.O.M. or M.R.S. over any degree or credential or title she might earn!
  • The modern woman can speak her mind and use her voice for the betterment of her society, but does so through facts, logic and reason, not vitriol, shouting and ad-hominem attacks!
  • The modern woman defends the wronged, not as a man should through physical strength, but in her own special way, through using her voice as a woman to advocate for wrongly accused men for example in this #MeToo hysteria, or the neglected and devalued child by the ideology of radical feminism as another…
  • The modern woman can think in a deep intellectual manner, but not forget her manners as a lady in her conduct and get heated and spew vitriol at the opposition!
  • The modern woman knows assertiveness and confidence is NOT snapping orders and domineering over others, rather the persistent, quiet and reasoned assertiveness and knowledge of her skills and her worth…
  • The modern woman is responsible for her actions, and accepts the consequences with grace and understanding, not crying victim, and blaming everyone but herself for her own transgressions.
  • The modern woman is not a victim, but empowered to stand her ground in the face of injustice and unethical coercion. She has the power to choose integrity over the superficial rewards coercion has to offer her.
  • The modern woman has a voice to be heard, but conveys her ideas with elegance and grace as a lady, not a “Nasty Woman”…
  • The modern woman can be a true lady, one of elegance, refinement and grace as her fore-mothers did before her, while also embracing the modern freedoms women can have….

Overall, the “modern woman” of reason, is a lady in spirit and character, while taking the best female empowerment has to offer such as increased autonomy and independence. She is bright, driven, a victor, not a victim, a leader, a nurturer, a devoted partner, a dutiful daughter, a loving mother, a person of integrity and accountability, a deep independent thinker, a person of refinement, has strength in her quietness, embraces her traditional femininity and is above all, a LADY!

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A “Matriarchy” is NOT what I have in mind for empowering women!