You’ve Heard of Colorblind Racism, but What About Genderblind Sexism?

If you’ve been following the latest contradictory edicts of the “woke” crowd, then you’ve probably at least vaguely come across the term colorblind racism. For those unfamiliar, the idea is that while it seems anti-racist to say “I don’t see color”, it actually makes one blind to racial inequalities embedded in the system. According to this line of logic for an example, not acknowledging someone’s race (i.e. black) also makes one turn a blind eye to substantial inequalities they have to face specifically due to the exact racial identity you are “blind” to. To the Left, one is required to take race into consideration in treating others in order to not discriminate based on their race. (Yes, it’s quite the paradox!) ūüėČ In real life applications this ideology factors into affirmative action, “scaled” grading, adversity scoring, etc… You can take a guess at what my opinion on the matter is…

However, the concept brings up another idea the Left probably hasn’t thought of and certainly is doing: Genderblind sexism. Think of genderblind sexism the same way as colorblind racism only substitute gender for race. Sexism and misogyny are things the Left loves to accuse conservatives of. Conservative values oppress women, women are under a cis white male patriarchy, women are paid less for equal work, women are at the mercy of predatory men without any way to fight back, women and girls are more vulnerable to violence, being a stay at home mom is antiquated, marriage is patriarchal etc… Does sexism exist? Yes, and plenty of women face unfair circumstances in life including vulnerability to violence. However, is our country deeply entrenched in sexism against women on a systematic level? I’d argue no. Women today are more empowered than ever in this country to create their own lives and dreams. Just look at how they treat women in 3rd world countries. There are plenty of ways in which women are not the “damsels in distress” the Left loves to paint them as, needing saving from sexist microagressions!

That said, there are still ways women are not equal to men in life. Equality can come in many forms including equal opportunities and equal outcomes. Many inequalities are not socially designed or even human-made, such as physical and physiological differences between men and women. Homo sapiens is a sexually dimorphic species, which means males and females are physically and physiologically different from each other. For examples beyond “the obvious” down-below, men on average are taller, have more upper body strength, denser muscle mass and are overall stronger than women. They can run faster, farther and have more physical strength. Women on average are shorter, distribute fat differently on their bodies, don’t grow facial hair like men, have enlarged breasts for nursing offspring, a wider pelvis, and less muscle mass than men. Studies have shown women are usually more adept at subjects like reading and language comprehension from a younger age, have a higher pain tolerance in some cases (probably for enduring childbirth), better verbal fluency, and more fine motor skills. Men have been shown to do better on mathematical/scientific tasks, have greater spatial awareness, and working memory for a few examples.

Now some argue that some of these differences could be due to social influences on raising boys and girls to gravitate to certain gender roles, but it seems a stretch to imagine gender roles somehow popped out of thin air with no basis in innate characteristics. Noting these differences should not be a construed as a value judgement, or that any characteristic is more preferable. Acknowledging that men and women do have biological and physiological differences in their bodies and brains does not put one at an advantage over the other as a whole. Where one may be stronger in one area, they are weaker in another and vice versa. Nor does this mean a man or woman cannot achieve proficiency or be above average in an area usually attributed to the other sex. There are plenty of gifted male writers and gifted female scientists and mathematicians. Generally speaking though, it is foolish to deny the very real differences between men and women as a whole.

This brings us back to genderblind sexism: What happens when we choose to ignore those very real differences, such as disparities in physical strength between men and women? Many unjust inequalities that do exist between men and women are exacerbated by factors like that. Just think of the odds of the average woman fighting off the average man in a fight. What about a woman trying to get away from a male attacker? Or outrun a predator? What about a man pinning her down? Yes, weapons and self defense techniques help, but the man usually still comes with an automatic advantage from the get-go. Why are women disproportionately the victims of physical violence? The Left cites a toxic masculine patriarchal culture, but on the practical level what about the woman’s ability to fight back? Another man may easily fight back and get away whereas the average woman may literally not be able to.

The example where genderblind sexism would come in here would be in the debate on transgender access to women’s spaces where women are vulnerable such as changing rooms and restrooms. The need for separate spaces for women has been common sense up until recently. Now, a truly transgender “woman” who lives as a woman is not the main threat, but the cisgender man pretending to be a trans-woman to gain access to women’s private spaces is. If we allow anyone in who simply claims to be transgender access to women and girls in compromising circumstances like a state of undress there is a probability of some having nefarious intentions leading to potential assaults. If we ignore that unique vulnerability of women, because they are different than men, we also ignore a real threat to their safety, and their equal right to be free from danger and victimization.

For a lower-stakes but significant contributor to women’s inequality is the debate on transgender women in women’s sports. This blatantly ignores very real differences in physical strength and endurance between men and women. Male athletes outperform even the best women in many sports. A good example being a biological male up against a woman in a sprinting competition where fractions of a second mean you win or lose. Male runners outperform even the best female runners. What about women’s football and other contact sports? A biological male, even transitioning into a more female-like body after puberty still retains a higher muscle mass and physical strength. If he smashes at full speed into a woman, she’ll be the one in the hospital! The playing field with trans-women is NOT equal by any stretch of the imagination. Ignoring this reality for the sake of gender ideology ensures real women will be outcompeted by a man every time they get out and play.

Another dimension to genderblind sexism goes beyond just the physical, but also societal and cultural: The erasure of women’s unique “lived experiences” in the words of the Left. I went into this in much greater detail in my post “My Gender is Not Your Costume“, but in essence by erasing objective differences between the sexes, it erases the unique experiences of each sex/gender. A person who is male simply cannot truly know what it is like to live as a female. This is rooted in biology, but also societal experiences. There is a reason cultures have gender roles, even ones where they are less ridged. Name one human culture where men and women are treated exactly the same. Not merely in similar opportunities, or social acceptance to do what the other gender does, but a psychological blindness to men and women, boys and girls being in any way different in personalities, temperament and abilities. We learn much of our gender expression from society, but where did society learn it? It is silly to deny the nature part of the equation as well as the nurture.

I’m honestly surprised in a sense how the Left, who loves to cite all the experiences women face that men will never truly understand, like the fear of assault or violence for instance, or the pressures on women in society, say it’s okay for a man to basically appropriate the identity of a woman. Or, as some say, if gender is merely a social construct and can be dismantled, so can the voices and stories of countless women in their unique experiences as women. This cultural and societal erasure of women and their lived experience is also consequence of the newfangled gender ideology sweeping our society.

If it is sexist to deny women an equal chance at protection from violence,

If it is sexist to deny women an equal playing field in her sport,

If it is sexist to deny women their unique “lived experiences” as a valid identity rooted in biology and in our culture,

Then it is sexist to pretend gender simply a social construct and a man can choose to be a woman merely because he feels like it.

A final point to reflect on is the idea of equity vs, equality. The Left loves this one: Equality in opportunities does not always yield equality of outcome. The “equal” playfield for trans-women makes it inherently unequal to biological women because they carry physical advantages over women. However equity is giving what a person or group needs based on their actual needs, not just blindly without considering disparities in circumstance. Giving women a private space to undress away from men is equitable as women are more vulnerable to assault by men, even though it’s a form of gendered segregation. Having all gender bathrooms in the name of equality erases the very real fear women have of assault in those kinds of spaces.

Now, some may argue that since I reject the idea of colorblind racism, then why would I advocate for seeing genderblind sexism? My answer is that unlike race, where there are significantly less differences between races rooted in objective biological criteria, there is far more evidence to support the idea of innate differences between both sexes. Most importantly, unlike many racial disparities, many differences between the sexes on average, are biological and innate and cannot be changed by changing society, such as overall disparities in physical strength being my “strongest” example.

If sexism is defined as inequality and disadvantage for one sex, and privilege for the other, genderblind sexism is sexism arising due to one’s “blindness” to real disparities between genders. Contrary to popular opinion, acknowledging real differences between men and women leads to more, not less equality. Equal does not always mean identical. Seeing women as just as worthy of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” in this country as men also must mean understanding that what will make them be able to achieve that goal can and does differ from men. Women will not be equal to men in this country until gender ideologues realize the unique circumstances women face due to their gender, and not turn a blind eye to the biological and cultural differences that make it so.

Washington Post Criticized For Transphobic Mueller Report Cartoon | The  Daily Dot

What Makes a Strong Woman?

In this day and age, the cultural Zeitgeist is all about “women’s empowerment” and raising “strong women”. We think we know what these ideas should mean and have a mental picture of what they look like, but what really does¬†a strong woman look like? Many cite qualities like independence, autonomy, assertiveness, leadership, etc… Many see her in some sort of high position of power, or with fancy degrees in some high-status career like doctor, lawyer, politician, some STEM field. It’s common to think of her being able to do “anything a man can do” with slogans like “girl power” and “girls rule the world”…

However the question is raised, is that what really makes a woman “strong”? How exactly does one define “strong”? Is it in her assertiveness almost to the point of aggressiveness? Her job title or her credentials? Her assertions that she doesn’t need a man for anything? Her ability to throw off traditional gender norms and clamor for all things masculine? The irony that many qualities she strives for in herself she would now label “toxic” in a man? The fact that she has liberal “woke” politics and ideologies unlike the “gender traitors” who are conservative women? They say a strong woman can think for herself, yet labeled those who stood by Kavanaugh or Trump as “gender traitors”. Is that what strong women are expected to do? Feel threatened enough by others whose opinions you don’t like that you have to shut them up?

Thing is, while many qualities above in moderation such as independence, assertiveness or leadership are okay, I argue our current concept of what makes a woman “strong” really betrays a type of weakness and vulnerability as well as implicitly sexist. The most problematic aspect of how we think of a strong woman is rooted in the implicit idea that she must be like a man, and throw off her traditional gender roles as a woman because male=empowerment and female=oppression. To truly be “equal” in this frame of mind is to be able to be and do anything a man does, but no mention of anything uniquely “woman” in her fight for equality. Whatever a man can do is better than what women traditionally have done. She must want a career, because her “dreams” must go beyond “mere” house keeping and child raising. She needs to earn her own way, or else she’s too “dependent” on a man thus virtually enslaved! Being a wife and mother apparently is not enough to foster her “personal development”. She must literally wear the pants, because dressing as a woman is the “uniform of oppression”. She is “empowered” when she can silence any man who dares speak his mind on issues pertaining to her, cry victim anytime she wants, be pushy and rude and call it “assertiveness”, shun a more feminine identity and reduce it to a “stereotype” and declare that the world is stacked against her. Now, many women who consider themselves as strong don’t feel they support this idea of it, however their attitudes implicitly support many of these ideas.

When you tell a girl “But what else do you want to do? You’re still young…” When she says she wants to raise a family when she grows up.

When you say “You can’t comment on this issue because you’re not a woman!”

When you tell your daughters “Never depend on a man for anything.”

When you say to fight “stereotypes” of women such as being married, home making, and wearing dresses.

You are perpetuating a distorted view of what it means to be strong. To me honestly, such ideas about strength betray weakness and vulnerability. The idea that being a traditional woman is a sign of oppression and that to have any worth in society, or to be considered independent is to take on traditional masculine characteristics belittles womanhood as a whole. Also reinforcing the sexist and misogynist idea that women are second class or lesser members of society, and must imitate men to bear a semblance to anything worthy of being called empowered, equal and strong.

What does it really say about society when the clamor for prominence and power in the public eye are valued far greater than the upbringing of our future generations? Just because a role is not as visible, doesn’t mean the job is any less needed. Motherhood, while more behind the scenes, IS a job in itself. A 24/7 job for life. Standing by your man does not mean you don’t have your own identity. Pants don’t equal freedom from some oppressed role and skirts and dresses don’t mean you’re second class. Wife and mother are just as important titles as CEO or PhD. Power and prestige are not all there is in life. Equal does not always mean identical; men and women can have separate gender roles and be equal in dignity and worth to each other. Putting men’s roles on a pedestal for women to be able to climb to inherently devalues traditional women’s roles even if cried for in the name of equality. Guarding one’s sexuality is not a form of coercion by the patriarchy when women have so much more to lose if she slips up. A woman’s purity is to be honored, not mocked and derided as “old fashioned”. A strong woman and a traditional woman exist side by side and are in no way mutually exclusive!¬†

So what does it mean to be a strong woman? A strong woman is many things in my opinion:

The confidence in her identity as a traditional women as valuable and meaningful in of itself without the need to be like a man to be worth something.

The ability to value her husband and children over any job title or credential she might earn.

Seeing her privilege, not her victimhood.

A self identity that is strong enough to not feel threatened by taking her husband’s name upon marriage, being “given away” at the altar, being called “Mrs.” or the idea of marriage.

Feeling as empowered and capable in a dress or skirt with long hair as in pants and short hair.

The strength to know she can depend on others like a father, brother, husband etc… for her care and safety and still be independent and strong in her own right.

Taking pride in the fact that she has the choice to give life, not in the choice to take it.

Who can handle words like “mankind” and “man” in the general sense without feeling excluded and microaggressed.

The fortitude to hold the family together in times of trouble, but also let a man take the lead and be the rock when she is given the chance.

Being a rock in her own unique way, as a moral compass of virtue, elegance, and grace for all to see in her family and in the world.

Dressing modestly as a sign of her inner worth and dignity, and having no need to flaunt her body for all to see for her to be “liberated”.

Who is strong enough to think for herself and not feel threatened by another’s opinion nor the need to force other women to think as she does.

Recognizing her ability to achieve her goals not in spite of being a woman in an “oppressive” society, but because of her determination, work ethic, and perseverance as a person.¬†

The strength it takes to be uniquely feminine, in her own right.

To me those are some things that make a strong woman ūüôā

Strong woman

(I made this graphic myself!)

Mom: The Most Important Job…

If you have been privileged to have an amazing mom then you know that she deserves her own special day and more! Regardless of race, gender, politics, religion, culture, etc… we can all agree a loving, caring, supportive mother who is your biggest fan and loves you unconditionally is one of your greatest privileges to have in this life.

Throughout history, across all cultures, all peoples, no matter what side you’re on, the shared experience many have of the love of their mothers brings most of humanity together. Yet, why is it then in our society motherhood is looked upon as a burden, a chore, enslavement even for women? Is motherhood easy? Certainly not! But what is easy in this life that’s worth lifelong happiness? The feminist movement now treats motherhood as part of the “patriarchy”, saying men pressure women to be mothers to enslave them as domestic servants while he goes out to have all the fun! They say that women should be able to get “real jobs” in order to be empowered. Fancy degrees, high powered careers, not “depend on a man” and that kids will hold you back. They say it’s sexist to think of women as mothers first and that their kids take away their identity. However, what if your kids are a permanent part of your identity and you want it that way? Is it possible a woman can live a traditionally feminine lifestyle as a wife and mother and find the fulfillment¬†she wants in life without worrying about what the new age feminists think of her autonomy? What does it honestly say about our society when being the CEO of some company is more important and far more valued then raising the next generation of our future leaders? Or bringing new life into the world?

Some women are now raised to worry about what sort of “impact” she’ll make if she’s stuck at home living for her children and family? She says, “But I want to be empowered! I want to save the world! I want to have bigger dreams than beyond the walls of my home! I want to be autonomous like a man and dream of achieving everything my brothers can…” Now, I get that not all women want a domestic lifestyle and guess what? That’s fine by me. My issue however, is that such attitudes often are not made from many women’s intrinsic desires, but more of a way to “one-up” the patriarchy or “be like a man” as she feels this is the only way she’ll be empowered and autonomous, or make any impact on the world. She feels that it’s “sexist” to be told that motherhood is one of her greatest callings she can pursue, but what of the inherent sexism I’ve argued about before¬†¬†in sending women the message that the only way to matter in this world is to become a man and shun traditional femininity? Isn’t it silly though, to believe that mothers make no mark on the world? Anyone who has had a mother in their life has been deeply impacted by her love, care, devotion and everlasting support, or in the unfortunate case where that was not the case, they do not forget how she was absent when they needed her to be a mother.

If motherhood does not make an impact, then why do countless cultures hold a special place of honor for a mother? Why is one of the rare times a man can break down and show real raw emotions is when he loses his mother, or get sentimental over the memories he’s had with her? Why can soldiers, trained for stoic bravery and fearlessness sob in the barracks at night over missing mom, or in their most vulnerable moment, cry out to her when sick or injured and people don’t see them as less of a man? Why have many high powered women in leadership positions, who have broken barriers for women often cite their mothers as their strength and inspiration to achieve their dreams? Or all the so called powerful men of the “patriarchy” credit their moms for their success as well? What about the phrase behind every great man is a great woman?

How can anyone say that the woman whose shoulder you cry on, the woman you laugh with, who loves you unconditionally, who applauds your successes and supports you in your weakest moments, who is your biggest fan, who has raised you since day one, who has carried you in her body to her own inconvenience big and small, or has opened her heart to you and raised you as if she had carried you within her, has sacrificed more than you will ever know for you and the family, etc…etc… did not make an impact in this world? Saying she has no freedom, and is reduced to a mere slave unable to achieve anything “worthwhile” like a job in the workforce is the most sexist insult you can give a woman, and yet society reinforces that message everyday to prospective mothers.

“Oh, you have so much life ahead of you…” “Don’t you want to be something else too?” “You’re too young to decide right now!” are all phrases we take for granted, and yet perpetuate the bias that motherhood and traditional womanhood is oppressive and limiting. Imagine anyone saying these things to girls when they say they want to be in a career! Absurd when you see it that way… A job isn’t everything in life. Yes, I realize that many women can’t be stay at home moms anymore, including my own mother. However, couldn’t that be argued to have been forced on women too, as a result of this “independent woman” craze? When we stopped expecting women to be home full time with the children and out in the workforce like men, we stopped supporting women as wives and mothers, and give less opportunities for men to be breadwinners in their families. Now, a woman not working is often considered a leech by men who feel she is just freeloading off his earnings, rather than being like the men before him who saw it as their duty as a man to provide for his wife and family.

Now, my mom did work like many mothers of this day and age in a solid career and actually was the breadwinner in my family! She enjoyed her career and did in fact, earn a graduate degree and is proud of that and of her ability to provide for her family. However, she was always mom first. Something many high powered career women who subscribe to the masculine ideal of a fulfilling life aren’t. She cut back her hours to always be a stable presence in my life and if she could have, she would have stayed home full time to raise me. She could have risen up higher in her job, but chose her children over her career ambitions because she knew that the impact she would make on me, and the legacy she would leave behind as a mother was far more important than a fleeting career promotion. She knew that a career was a wonderful thing to have, but being a mom was far more important and her #1 job no matter what!

The devaluing of mothers in society is the root of many issues today with women resentful of their own kids as obstacles rather than legacies, kids stuck in daycare full time rather than being with mommy, little help for stay at home moms to stay home and make ends meet, and the constant message of under-appreciation from a society bent on women becoming more and more like men. When will the so called feminists, advocates of women as they claim to be, stand up for traditional femininity as being equal to being like men? When will more women cherish the children they brought into this world more than their next job promotion? When will the lifelong impact and legacy a mother leaves on her family be valued just as much as the next scientific breakthrough or glass ceiling shattered? How worth it is shattering that glass ceiling if your children will be stuck on the other side?

Why does the world have to know about you? Why do you need approval from the whole world? Is the legacy you leave behind on your family enough? Why is being like a man with an outside job so much more meaningful than raising the next generation? To me, it speaks more of a society obsessed with money and worldly prestige, power and fame, which all fade soon enough, than with creating a legacy spanning generations of commitment, support, and unconditional love.

Look, there’s nothing bad about having careers or wanting other identities in addition to motherhood. Motherhood may not be for every woman, and if you truly don’t want to become one, for the sake for any future children raised in your future resentment and neglect, don’t be. But don’t discount becoming a mother because of some radical feminist message that it will make you a lesser human being or strip you of your empowerment, as the most empowered women I know are mothers and proud of it. It’s time we women¬† show the world we are NOT lesser or oppressed because we choose to value something different than being like the pseudo-men the feminist movement brainwashes us to become. Mothers, you ARE making an impact in this world, one FAR greater than any worldly career!

Thank you, Mom!

To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world…¬†

‚ÄĒUnknown

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