“Everybody’s A Critic”: What to Do When They Come for You

It’s been a fact of life for every person who ever had an opinion: some people will disagree with you! Taking criticism is a hard feat for most people, me included! However, if you put yourself out there for people to hear you, they will respond back, and you won’t like every response. Since making A Lady of Reason, I have gotten a fair amount of critiques valid and vitriolic. Praise and condemnation. I knew by speaking out on hot button and very controversial loaded topics as frankly as I do, I’m bound to get backlash 😉 And now that I’ve popularized my blog even further by using social media such as Facebook and Twitter, more people come to see what I have to say. The pros are of course, more publicity and more awareness of conservative view points. The cons of course, with more people, come more critics, and more radical liberals just waiting to have it out with me! They have called me all the common ad-hominem insults now: “racist”, “misogynist”, even “vile nut-job” and “an ignorant, shitty human waste of space” by one vitriolic snowflake! Geez, the heat was turned up high in that kitchen 😉 Criticism, and especially vile attacks on your character are hard to hear, even for the most thick skinned of us. However, when we put our voices out there, we take on the fact we will get such vitriol from the radical left who can’t stand reasoned discourse. So what do you do when you are criticized? I thought of some tips , but please let me know some of yours too!

Some advice in the meantime:

Be Confident in What You Wrote

You have the evidence? You have truth on your side in what you wrote? You backed up your claims with facts? Then be confident you are in the right, and the others are simply in denial! If you need to revise some things, or word things differently, owe up to it and do. If their criticism has a valid point, address it. If you need to revise your thesis, do so, as the bigger person will consider valid points and adjust accordingly. They may say they “won”, but you look like the fair minded one if you do make a valid change. But if you feel you covered all your bases, be proud and let the readers judge for themselves 🙂

Know Many DO Agree With You

We are a “silent majority” here in America. While the radical left is very vocal, and dominates the mainstream media, that doesn’t mean they reflect the views of the average Joe! The fair and balanced reasonable person will consider what you have to say and make up their own mind. There is a growing backlash for the radical liberal intolerance, vitriol and denial out there! If you sound level headed and articulate, you will gain the respect of many reasonable people, even if they don’t agree with you in the end…

You Shook Them Up As Much as They Did You! 

If they’re spewing ad-hominem attacks know they have no real argument, they’re just puffing up their chests in anger! If they had a valid point, they would make it instead of calling you a petty name and slandering your character just to make you upset. They lost it because they know you spoke the truth, and had valid points they couldn’t find counter points for. You may have been shaken up and upset by their attack, but believe me, they only reacted so strongly because they felt threatened themselves by your articulate logic and facts!

Keep Your Online Identity Separate From Your Personal One

Another important point, if you blog under a pseudonym, or anonymously they’re attacking that, not you personally! You still have the luxury of walking away and taking a break from your online identity to just be you. Go about you day, live your life, and be comforted in the fact they’re attacking your fake internet persona, not who you really are in real life! You can always come back later into your internet persona when you regained your energy to fight some more, and take comfort in the fact the haters aren’t hating on the real you 🙂

Speak Out For Others Too!

If you find a fellow ally being attacked, be an ally and stand up for them! You don’t need to get into a fight, but a comment in their favor can sway others to have the courage to speak for that person too, and it means the world to that person! Private message them if you have the time 😉 You’d want someone to speak up for you in your time of need, do the same for others too!

Don’t Forget to Leave Positive Feedback To Others You Agree With

Praise goes a long way! Complimenting a comment or post well written means the world to the author. We’re quick to criticize, but often slow to give people their due credit in life in general. Thanking someone for a job well done makes the world a better place and a little nicer, and keeps spirits up when there is a lot of vitriol being thrown around! I love getting positive comments and likes on my posts, it’s so encouraging! I try to do the same for posts I like by others too 🙂 A little positivity can outweigh buckets of negativity and give someone that little push of encouragement to keep going!

Well, that covers a lot! What are YOUR personal tips for handling intense backlash and coping with vitriol? Comment below!

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  1. LoR, I can completely relate and empathize. Putting one’s self out there, for whatever may come, takes a lot of courage and tough skin. You’re doing well. Just always remember — as you and I have already alluded to each other previously — that we are ALL still cousins in this human family on the ONE planet, amongst 9-10 others in our system, amongst 300-billion stars and systems in the Milky Way of which is just one in 2-trillion we can observe in the Cosmos… and this Pale Blue-Dot completely sustains us and makes life SO phenomenal and worth it, and yet is unimaginably daunting! But that is the beauty of life and living fully… alive!

    It puts everything in proper perspective doesn’t it? 😉 ❤

    Having played pro and semi-pro soccer most of my life, I quickly got use to (useless) heckling from "over zealous" fanatics. Some of it was quite hilarious, if I'm honest. I'd laugh, smile and acknowledge it if I could find them. 🤭 😉 No one REALLY knows you, deep down, intimately, and your level of honor, dignity, generosity, etc, all the great virtues that makes us human except those closest. That's what matters. The hecklers are merely and simply releasing their toxic Carbon-dioxide similar to sitting on the toilet. 😛 We all must expel in some ways — hopefully in sanitary & respectful ways! 😉 — the waste. When it comes to words from the general public in an open forum, 98% of them have no substance and should be water on a duck’s back.

    Keep doing your thang LoR. You’re just fine. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Facts are particularly dangerous things since they need interpretation and they can easily lead to wrong conclusions if we see them through rose-tinted glasses. The media report facts every day but they select them to paint the picture they wish to portray. We must remember that the media are obliged to supply what we will read not necessarily what is going on in the world . Murders , terrible accidents , wars , the antics of celebrities are all good saleable media , things like children going to school , doctors healing the sick , men working building houses or in factories aren’t worth printers ink.
    A gunman hijacked an aircraft and forced it to land in Syria might lead the public to think these incidents are widespread although it is a true fact.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I get really anxious whenever I post something on my blog or on social media that can be controversial. I’ve lost friends because of their intolerance, and even family members have insulted me through comments. But I also know my posts have helped a lot of people, and have inspired them to speak up too and reinforce their convictions. And that’s what matters most to me!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I agree with your post (and also thank you for the likes). It can seem like mayhem out there and at times you wonder whether it’s worth expressing an opinion at all (even if you’re confident it’s based on facts).

    Not being left or right wing is even “funnier” as you are attacked by both extremes. One lady on a platform was convinced I was a man posting under a female alias (she was a “yes all men” type feminist and just couldn’t comprehend why a woman would disagree with that stance). Another feminist wished me to jump off a bridge after disagreeing with her partially on a single issue (though we were in agreement on many more). I can’t recall being called a Nazi, though some did call me far right. Actual far right types usually call me a communist. So it’s pretty funny when you add it all up.

    I also agree with being anonymous (to the best possible extent), as you never know what people are capable of nowadays.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well said. And timely; I’ve been encountering some of this just recently.

    What I find interesting is that the attacks on me when I disagree are almost never a challenge to what I’ve actually said. Rather, they go after me as a person (this is mostly on my personal Facebook profile, so not anonymous), and insult me for everything from my hair colour to my body size to my cat pictures, along with my intelligence (for disagreeing with them), race, gender… but the only references to the points I’ve actually made barely skim past “you’re wrong” before launching into insults.

    Those ones, I don’t take seriously and just laugh at them while pointing out their failures in argumentation.

    Another one I see a lot of projection. If someone is lying, they accuse you of lying. If someone is supporting a racist position, they call you a racist. Etc.

    Also if you disagree with them on A, they will assume you also believe BCDEFG, even though none of those things have any connection with the topic. For example, pointing out a quote was taken out of context to make it look like something else entirely, and getting called a sexist bigot who wants to force women to have babies against their will while supporting rich people trying to make everyone else poor. (I wish I was kidding on that one, but that’s the gist of actual conversations I’ve had!).

    The hard part is not to get distracted by their red herring arguments and stay on topic.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. ‘Another important point, if you blog under a pseudonym, or anonymously they’re attacking that, not you personally! ‘

    They’re attacking the points you make…which is why I stay anonymous. They might retort with insults about what I look like or what they think I’m lacking. They still lost the argument but I’d rather have them go down with not being able to refute than to just resort to childish retorts.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Yes, you are correct. It takes a level headed person to appropriately respond to critisicm. Whether a person’s viewpoint is leaning left or right , he should be able to express his ideas to others without turning to trite insults and screaming obcenities. As soon as anyone becomes unreasonable and out of control, he has lost the ability to present his point of view and therefore irreparably weakened his argument.
    Those people just need to be ignored. They have no valid points and no ability to communicate. Death threats, insults, ridiculous labels don’t further communication.

    Liked by 2 people

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