Back to School Time: Some Tips for Conservative Students

It’s back to school season and with it, often comes many challenges for conservative students and their families. From ultra-liberal public school brainwashing, to the elitist liberal colleges, conservative students and their families too, can feel ostracized, left out and silenced. However, there are ways to fight back big and small depending on your comfort level. Some are brave and come out boldly in their conservative views. Others feel it would jeopardize their futures too much and choose more covert methods to stick to their principles. Whatever you’re comfortable with, you must do what’s right for you. I judge no fellow patriot for going 100% out, or keeping it 100% in or choosing a middle ground like myself. After all, the ballot box is where we really get to be heard 😉 Here are some tips though to get you through another school year whether in public school or college:

Choose Your Battles in Voicing Your Opinion

Sometimes, you just have to pick your battles as the old saying goes! You don’t need to out yourself as a conservative on every social or political issue brought up in class. I had a professor who literally ranted about President Trump for 15 minutes in a class totally unrelated to politics! What did I do? Kept my mouth shut as that was not a battle I needed! However, in other cases I was irritated enough I did decide to at least partially share my views. You have to decide carefully when it’s worth the risk of sharing a conservative viewpoint openly in a highly liberal atmosphere. A middle ground is healthy.

Couch it Diplomatically

This is a huge point! It’s not just about being civil, as we always should be, but also about keeping a greater chance of not being ostracized by peers or teachers/professors! If you couch it more diplomatically, and refrain from being super blunt about it, you an have the best of both worlds: Staying true to your beliefs and standing up for them, without potentially alienating yourself from your classmates 🙂 They can also then see that conservatives aren’t so “evil” as they thought! The way I often approach it is to sympathize with at least one part of their argument before debunking it or couch it in terms of it furthering their ultimate goal but from a conservative perspective. Let them know you care as deeply as they do about the issue at hand, but have a different perspective on how to solve it, as many liberals think conservatives are coming from a lack of empathy and callousness.

Always Think “Does This Make Sense?” and Consider the Source

Go with your gut! If it sounds fishy or not making sense, it probably isn’t! Teachers and professors are often very educated and competent, but keep in mind they too were brainwashed by the Left and it can show. They genuinely believe they are teaching the factual thing, but it may not be the actual reality! If they provide sources for their information, consider the source. One professor only cited articles from CNN and other highly liberal news sites, and I’m not kidding, EVERY article was only from ONE perspective in a two sided issue! School should be about learning to think, not learning what to think! Learning for yourself is a lifelong skill you NEED. Sometimes, you are your own best teacher…

It’s Often for the Best Friendship and Politics Don’t Mix

A very important one! Just because you’re a conservative who has integrity and principles doesn’t mean you can’t be social with liberal classmates. I was good friends with several who had politics opposite of mine, but we shared other interests and hobbies and the same core values of kindness and integrity. Politics does not define you 100%. You are a multidimensional person and your political views are one part of who you are. In addition, unlike the radical Left, we don’t hate and demonize and dehumanize people solely for having different opinions! It’s good also to be exposed to opposing viewpoints other than your own as it strengthens your arguments, and may even change your perspective. Understanding does not always mean justifying, so don’t be afraid to understand where a liberal peer is coming from. You can share other sides of yourself with others. Of course, if you are lucky enough to connect with other fellow patriots through campus clubs or simply socializing then go right ahead and embrace your political side!

Always Stay True to Your Beliefs, but Find Clever Ways to Blend in When Needed 😉

This is huge for me! I have integrity and principles in my core beliefs as a conservative and would feel dishonest in falsely expressing leftist views just to blend in. However, sadly, until we gain more power back, the Left has become powerful enough to jeopardize our futures if we get too outspoken. I can’t put myself into a position where I would be blackballed and ostracized socially and professionally. However I also can’t change my core values as a person and a conservative an be a “sellout”. When the two objectives clash, I found some clever ways to do both:

For example, I wrote a liberal sounding essay thesis on a test I did, but I couched it as a presentation of viewpoint on the subject, but not my viewpoint! You can write papers that sound more leftist, but be careful not to write it in a way that it comes off as your personal view, but present it as a viewpoint that is out there, or better yet, write others have this view then explain what it is while keeping it distant and impersonal. Avoid the first person or stating it as an indisputable fact such as instead of saying “I think”, or even “It is known…”, say “some students/people/(whoever you’re writing about)  think/feel…” for example. That way, you can blend into the ideas of your school, but not lie about your personal opinions or out yourself. After all, accurately presenting the other side’s argument is a valuable skill too!

For Parents: Always Talk to Your Kids About The Big Issues from Your Perspective and Why

If it weren’t for my parents keeping that line of open dialogue about these issues, I may have been yet another brainwashed lefty! I credit them and other conservative role models for shaping my conservative mind and principles. When they talk about the liberal biases they learn in class, counter with your side and make them think about both sides of the issue. Point out censorship and political correctness and impart a message of an open exchange of ideas. And sometimes, you just have to contradict what the teacher says in issues you feel are morally important, (such as your personal values on abortion for one example) and say, “I know you’re being taught this, but it’s flat out wrong…”. However, and this is hard, let your kid explore and form their own opinions even if they are on the other side of yours. They can change their mind later and they need your openness to not be shut out from you and dismiss you as “pale and stale” or ignorant. They need to see that conservatives are levelheaded everyday people and learn that you can love and respect someone you disagree with. We win hearts and minds through common sense and reason, not censorship and “correct” opinions.

Also know while it’s painful sometimes, don’t take it personally. The school system is powerful, from k through 12 to college and many are somewhat a product of their brainwashing over our whole school lives. A family friend’s daughter told her dad he had “white privilege”, dismissing all the adversity he faced, yet it wasn’t her fault and she meant no malice. She was simply brainwashed to believe it was true from school and society and thought it was a plain fact. Hopefully when she gets older, and had adversity and a family of her own, she’ll see reason. Many young people see reason and become more conservative as issues like the economy, immigration, healthcare, safety etc… become more personal to them when they own their own business, have a job, have a family to provide for and protect. Just wait 🙂 Until then though, always share your views and why you believe them!

sjw_university_ben_garrison

What are some of your tips on surviving another liberal school year? 

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You Don’t Know My Story…

“You don’t know my story!”

Commonly shouted by the Left whenever someone tries to contradict “their truth” with factual evidence and common sense. When minorities, women, LGBT people, immigrants, religious minorities (a.k.a Muslims), etc… say that, they want to tell you that you have no idea what struggles they faced. On the surface, it makes some sense. Often, a person’s struggles are not as obvious as one would ever guess. Barring a physical disability or witnessing outright bigotry, many of our life challenges remain hidden to others unless they have an intimate look at your situation. Often, white people and men, or any “majority” group are accused of being blind to others’ challenges and any contradiction to them is taken as insensitive and callous.

Even in the face of statistical facts and common sense, apparently it’s callous to point out that the reality may not always be your reality. Another important point to note here is it is indeed very plausible that the individual has actually had a negative experience in their life or has known a disproportionate amount of people who have and genuinely thinks that’s the wider reality while in truth, they or their friends were the exception. When such a discrepancy is pointed out, cries of “you’re blinded by your privilege!” come up. We’re supposed to take them at face value and simply shut up and nod our heads in agreement upon their edict that they in fact, know the REAL truth!

But do they know the whole truth? After all, there’s always at least two sides to a story 😉 Many on the Left want the so called “privileged” to acknowlege their invisible struggles, but what about ours??? You are completely delusional if you think anyone’s life is 100% pure bliss, no struggles whatsoever or the lives of their families are! Do you honestly think that because of a white man’s skin color or gender he’s on easy street? Or the heterosexual couple is in marital bliss with no angry in-laws who won’t accept their spouse? Or the Christian doesn’t feel judged at times by others for his/her faith too with their own nasty stereotypes of being intolerant fundies?

Well, if you were, let me give you an example of how looks can go only skin deep, and the assumptions that go with them:

Like many in America, I have immigrant relatives on both sides of my family who came here to make a better life for themselves. Now take my grandmother for instance. To a stranger who just happened to see her as she was running some errands, she looks like a privileged white woman. Typical. Probably grew up in some nice middle class house in a safe neighborhood with a provider husband. Had a family who through their race built up wealth based off centuries of oppressing minorities and the indigenous population. Always had security and comfort, never lifting a finger to rise to any major challenge. Was probably that privileged suburban housewife of the 50’s who goes to the women’s club and complains about how the neighborhood is being taken over by those who don’t look like her. Never once knew what it was like to face the bigotry minorities have.

Now, the part about the comfortable house, wonderful husband and safe neighborhood are true. However the rest would be a lie! Her parents literally came to the country with NOTHING. Her dad was a refugee fleeing violence and genocide and her mother fleeing inescapable poverty in her home country. They had no time whatsoever to gain any of the “wealth” white families allegedly have gained through decades of oppression. She was barely in the middle class growing up and as a married woman, married a blue collar guy and had to work herself cleaning houses to help her family. She cherished her domestic life, but was no privileged housewife who could live solely off her husband’s income. Her husband was of a similar background growing up in the depression unable to afford luxuries like Christmas and birthdays. As for never having any adversity herself, she was bullied for her ethnicity so badly in school she dropped out of high school due to the vitriol of her classmates AND teachers! Imagine a person of color today sharing a similar story. How appalled would you be to hear that? Almost forgot, her neighborhood gave her family the stink eye for not being Irish in an Irish neighborhood, so don’t tell me she never felt what it was like to not belong! That’s probably why she is so adamantly anti-racist herself…

Do you know why she did live in a nice neighborhood in a nice house though? Her family WORKED HARD and gave everything to give her a better life than the previous generation. She married a man who worked for everything they owned including her nice house in that safe neighborhood. And she carried that legacy of resilience and being a victor instead of a victim demanding handouts to her children, one being my dad. Because of her and her family’s perseverance, my dad and his sister got to go to college and get professional careers. Thus trickling down to me being even more privileged than they. My mother’s side has similar stories of building that family legacy of success and prosperity from almost nothing as well further contributing to what I have today.

I guess in a sense you’d be right if you assumed my grandmother was privileged. She had a wonderful husband of over 50 years, raised two children in a nice household and lived off the success her parents enabled her to have. But that’s FAR from her whole story which also included much adversity and prejudice and a family which came from adversity and poverty. Just looking at her skin color tells you nothing about where she came from and what she’s had to face in her life of almost a century.

I can anticipate some of the naysayer’s responses and I’ll answer with my family’s immigrant story is not inconsequential just because they were white! My relatives on both sides of my family have faced adversity and prejudice, my grandmother being just one example. Their whiteness did nothing to help them gain their prosperity, their actual effort to better their lives did. I challenge you to find one example of how the prejudice your family faced due to their skin color is more “important” than what my family and countless other “privileged” white families have! My grandma had the “privilege” of:

The student body bullying her into dropping out of school for her ethnicity

Her family being shunned in an all Irish neighborhood simply for not being Irish

Both parents coming from poverty and devastation in their homelands

Losing her sister young and a brother disabled by a brain tumor

Being slammed violently into a desk by a teacher who treated her in a biased manner for being different among others….

So, if you see her being helped by a gentleman to carry her things or people looking out for her, don’t automatically assume she was always treated like royalty, or she never had to lift a finger in her life. Don’t think because of her skin color, she had everything given to her and lived a life based off the exploitation of others. Don’t look at her neighborhood or her house and think “her kind” have been there for generations basking in their privilege. And don’t think, most importantly, that her skin color somehow minimizes the pain and adversity she went through compared to what you or your family went through!

I don’t know your story as a minority group or person of color. I can’t say I can automatically know all your struggles or have been exposed to every type of adversity you have. But you also don’t know my story, where I came from, and my family’s legacy from just looking at me. You can’t assume any privilege or lack of it just by eyeballing me for 20 seconds on the street. You also can’t assume that even if someone has “privilege” related to race or gender for example, they don’t have other personal struggles they must overcome like mental illness, crushing anxiety/self doubts and insecurity, chronic conditions, family tragedies, deep personal loss, obstacles due to poverty, etc… So, if you want the courtesy of me acknowledging your story, please stick around to listen to mine before you cast judgement. Until then, when you say my family and I have “privilege” we didn’t earn or deserve:

You don’t know my story!

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Yes, even white men too 😉 !!!

Do you have a story others don’t know that helped shape who you are? Please share in the comments! 🙂

Guest Post From Dems are Dumb: Another Take on “What Makes America Great?”

This originally was a comment to my post but it was detailed enough I thought it deserved its own guest post! Thank you Dems are Dumb for your wonderful insights! 🙂

Link to my original post: What Makes America Great?

You make some excellent points. The immigrants who face great hardship to get here, as they have throughout the history of the republic, are proof of the greatness of America. If the good old U.S. of A weren’t all that great, they wouldn’t leave their homes and brave all the hardships to travel to a strange land. Not all of them come here for the handouts that the so called “sanctuary cities” offer.

Most come for what political and economic freedom that still remains here. They come to be free of that dreaded knock on the door at the night from the dictator’s secret police. They come in search of a land where hard work, thrift and education will enable them to build a better life for themselves and their children without fear that a government cleptocracy will take it all away. They come to participate in the economic prosperity that those freedoms enable individuals to build.

Note that by 1900, not much more than a century after the declaration, the U.S. had far surpassed the mother country as well as the rest of Europe in industrial output. That was at a time when “the sun never set on the British Empire” so we can’t ascribe it to imperialism. I suggest it was the opportunity for individual initiative that America’s freedom provided and that America will continue to be great so long as it protects those freedoms. Prosperity is something that you build yourself rather than demand that the government provide for you.

If America doesn’t provide enough welfare and government assistance, you’re free to go someplace that does. I hear that Venezuela has a wonderful socialist system.

If America is deeply racist that doesn’t seem to stop people of color from coming here in great numbers.

If America is sexist and supports a rape culture, old Colonel Colt provided the means to deal with would be rapists.

If America oppressed the 3rd world with its imperialist policies, well I’m sorry that the U.S. built the Panama Canal.

If America owes reparations for slavery, check your history, we sorted that out in 1861-1865. Neither slaves nor slave owners are still around after all that time, so who owes what to whom and why? All the call for reparations does is look for another way to exploit taxpayers.

If you think that you can’t succeed unless you’re in the top 1% because America’s economy and job market is flawed, then you need to do your research. Check the IRS historical figures of movement of taxpayers from the bottom quintile through to the upper quintiles. That might disabuse you of your notion.

If America is too consumerist, no one is forcing you to go out and buy stuff. If you want to live in an impoverished society, then you might be happier in one of those oppressed 3rd world countries that so many others are fleeing. On your way out ask the incoming migrants if they are opposed to living in a consumerist society. Their answers might surprise you just as your views might surprise those mentioned above who bemoan the lack of ability to succeed in this country.

The First Amendment freedom of expression is essential to the greatness of the country and that includes and requires criticism of America. The country was founded on it. The revolution started with criticism of government and the signers of the Declaration of Independence wrote their names clearly so that all would know of their position. Indeed, John Hancock wrote his name especially large so that “Fat George in London (the king) could read it without using his spectacles.” That was at a time when the signers risked execution for treason had they been captured by the British. After signing, many went off to fight, carrying out their pledge of “our Lives, our Fortunes and our Sacred Honor.”

Of course freedom to criticize requires robust debate, so if you have the right to voice your opinion others do as well, including those who disagree with you. The left appears to have lost sight of that essential aspect of freedom when they call for government and institutional suppression of “hate speech” with its ever expanding definition, and allow Antifa thugs to assault any who disagree with them. I’m waiting (probably in vain) for the left to criticize Representative Frederica Wilson (D FL) for her recent call to shut down and prosecute those who mock members of Congress. Unless you believe that America should discard its greatness and imitate the countries from which our immigrants fled you should stand in opposition to Antifa, Wilson and their like. It’s not enough to talk the talk. If you believe in freedom, you must walk the walk as well.


A resounding “amen!” Dems are Dumb! You sum up my points exactly and add plenty of new points to consider 🙂 Thanks again for writing in!

What Makes America Great?

Believe it or not, at one point I was far more critical of America than I am now. I used to think that many were too nationalistic, to the point of arrogance and blindness towards other great nations. I felt that many did not allow one to question or critique this country without jumping to conclusions that you were anti-American for speaking up to raise important issues needing fixing. Also, that purely blind patriotism is just as wrong as blind hatred without looking at the facts impartially. I still feel that we shouldn’t put America on a pedestal so high it’s immune from any valid critique and change. I still feel patriotism should be earned, not just given blindly to any nation, and that we are one of many great nations who are our peers as world leaders.

However, I have gained far more respect for America and am far more apt to defend America’s good name once I opened my eyes to just how virulent the America-haters were! No, we are certainly not perfect, but we aren’t an evil regime of oppression, as some like to think nowadays! I’m certain plenty on the Left celebrate the 4th of July like you and I do, and think they’re being “patriotic”, but the things the Left thinks about this country are some of the most hateful and bitter sentiments I’ve heard about America from fellow Americans. It’s one thing to be in some enemy country and chant “death to America!”, but it’s another to be in this country reaping in all the privileges that come with it and crying “Oppression! America is evil and immoral!”. Among their complaints:

America doesn’t give enough welfare and government assistance…

America is deeply racist…

America is sexist and supports rape culture…

America oppressed the 3rd world with its imperialist policies…

America owes reparations for slavery…

You can’t succeed unless you’re in the top 1% because America’s economy/job market is flawed…

America is too consumerist…

Even: America asked for 9/11 because of its foreign policy!

And that list is not nearly exhaustive in the litany of complaints the Left likes to whine about our country… Now is America perfect? There’s nothing we need to improve? There’s nothing in our past we should regret? No, certainly not! However, compared to plenty of other countries, we are light years ahead in terms of political freedom, civil rights, and social equality not to mention quality of life for our citizens. We have many flaws that need fixing, but even with those flaws, we’re better off than the majority of the world! So what does make America great?

What about our higher standards of living? Our top hospitals to treat all sorts of issues. Our lower infant mortality rate and safer childbirth. Our vaccines to prevent disease and the fact many diseases that are easily treatable here are fatal in the 3rd world. Our technologies that make it possible to have clean drinking water, safer food, better housing, better roads, better infrastructure. This isn’t merely about whether or not there’s a McDonald’s around the block, or how many can have a flat screen TV and the latest gizmos!

Unlike some like to argue, or pretend to argue, that we’re being presumptuous to think the world needs to live like us in a consumer capitalist society, I’m talking about basic needs, NOT whatever someone wants on a whim! America is great not because of how much junk we have in our living rooms, but because we HAVE a living room to live in, hospitals to go to if we’re sick or injured, children that will actually live to adulthood etc..etc… No, not everyone has to live like we do, but everyone does need food, water and shelter which America does provide far better than most of the world! In addition to the other long list of so called “rights”, a.k.a entitlements, the Left demands must be handed to us!

Or what about our great economy and opportunities to advance in life? No, we’re not a utopia by any means, but the “American Dream” still exists for countless Americans. Is everyone going to get their dream job and their dream house simply by working hard? No. But hard work does reap real rewards in this country in ways it will not in others. The rigid class system of England, or India for examples does not exist here. The system of Russian serfdom and contemporary debt bondage is illegal here. Is there still extreme poverty and inequality here? Sadly, yes. But poor choices lead to poor luck as much if not more than our systematic flaws.

The stories of past immigrants succeeding in the middle class or better from nothing show the extraordinary opportunities America brought in a time where you were often defined by class and things beyond your control in countless other countries, even in ones we’d consider 1st world today but were essentially 3rd world back then. The recent waves of immigrants and “refugees” don’t flee here for no reason. Mexico has opened its borders to immigrants from Central America yet they refused their hospitality and ran to us to beg for our charity. After all, who said “beggars can’t be choosers?” 😉 No one is forcing them to choose America, they could go elsewhere too, especially if on a whole different continent to a much more convenient asylum than across the Atlantic! Yet here they come…

Standards of living and socio-economic advancement are two major examples of many that make America great! The last point I want to make though, is in regards to a more subjective area: Ethics and morality. The Left claims America is immoral on many many counts. We’re racist, sexist, bigoted, fascist, greedy, paternalistic, imperialist, etc..etc… It’s true we did things in our past that we’re not proud of, but whenever the majority of these insinuations come up about America’s character, they’re from past historical instances! Well, what about right now? Just because we were paternalistic and imperialist 100 years ago, does that mean we think the same way now? Just because we did racist things like Jim Crow and slavery in the past, are they still in effect now? Even for modern-day accusations such as modern day inequalities, why not take a look at what other countries have done then come back and whine “oppression!”. Ever heard of 1st world problems? 😉 The utter hypocrisy in which America is attacked while other countries get off for far worse offenses is astounding!

Women have to pay a tax on tampons and have special pink items that cost more.

Gay people aren’t the star of every TV show.

Transgender people or gender fluid people aren’t addressed by their pronoun.

Band aids, and crayons are “racist” for not having your skin tone.

Meanwhile in the 3rd world…

Women are subject to honor killings, acid attacks, FGM, wed as prepubescent children, and are the literal property of men.

Gay people are brutally executed in many regimes and subject to far more violence than in America.

Ethnic and racial minorities are subject to mass killings, genocide, slavery, and outcast from society.

Yet the feminists never talk about how women are enslaved by men in the 3rd world, instead whining about the “war on women” for a tampon tax, or “rape culture” for a butt grab when girls are being raped by their husbands at age 10 in the Middle East. The gay advocates whine instead about Trump telling these countries to STOP killing gays because it’s “racist” or about a straight pride parade while ignoring the gays being executed abroad. As well as civil rights leaders decrying not enough “diversity” here when mass genocides by foreign governments happen to ethnic and racial minorities abroad while people of color in America are in top positions including the former presidency for two consecutive terms. Then of course, the West is bad no matter what, even despite far worse offenses by non-Western cultures!  Pure and utter hypocrisy and double standards…

America is a nation of equality and democracy, who, in light of its flaws strives to change them. It’s a nation of good healthcare, cutting edge technology, a good economy where we are the world’s top 10%, opportunity for socio-economic growth, great infrastructure, fair laws, and governed with the people, not just a dictator. It’s no utopia, but also no tyrannical regime. It’s a place where people flee to for safety and a better life. A place where I can work hard and earn a better life. A place I can be proud to live in and be a part of.

Honestly, I think the REAL American flaw is the fact we let everyone else walk all over us!!!

Image result for ben garrison patriotism cartoon

You Do Have a Point, But….

It’s no surprise to many conservatives that the Left likes to attack us with ad hominems, smear us, attack our character, ruin our reputations and chalk us up to being closed minded bigots. Standing by our convictions and being apart from what’s the popular attitude of the moment has cost us friends, networking, even jobs and family connections! Despite being the silent majority, we certainly don’t feel like it! I of course, have had my fair share of observing this too, as I am putting my views out there online in an open forum. And contrary to what many on the Left believe about fellow conservatives and myself, we can attest to not being simply “closed minded bigots” in our motivations for taking a seemingly harsher view on certain issues.

See, what may surprise many liberals who automatically dismiss everything I have to say simply because I support Trump as president, or consider myself a conservative is that my views are actually more nuanced than your cherry picking of them are. Why would that be? Well here’s the surprise:

I think you have valid points too in many of your positions which I do have to acknowlege and take into consideration when I argue my own viewpoint. 

It’s not always a cake walk rebutting every point you make, albeit I will say many are easily refutable too! The reason why we end up on opposite sides of the debate though is because while I do think your basic premise sounds valid on its face, there are nuances that I add that lead me to the conclusion that premise does not extend that far, or there are caveats you need to understand, or maybe, there’s a middle ground between either extreme, and guess what? I DO make these caveats in my articles about various issues, but thus far, I’ve observed very few of my critics directly address them, instead choosing to ignore those for my more extreme views only as if I never made a nuance in my argument. So here are some examples of places where I can see your point too, but why I end up disagreeing with your overall position and the nuances you overlooked when you rebutted me:

I understand the need to keep our leaders accountable and within the law, including Trump. However, making baseless accusations not backed up by facts then never admitting what he does right reflects far more on you than him. Also, why turn a blind eye to accountability within your own party leaders?

I understand the idea of being able to step out of an uncomfortable situation that would bringing up uncomfortable feelings and past trauma. I’ve done it too. However, safe spaces in college for example, only hinder your own personal growth as I realized as I matured, I needed to challenge myself to feel uncomfortable at times to grow intellectually.

I understand that we are a nation of immigrants and others should get the chance our ancestors did too. However I also know that we need to put our current citizens’ needs first before we can extend the hand to others.

On a related note, I really don’t mind immigrants keeping their own cultural heritage, traditions, language, dress, food, music, faith, holidays, etc… in America anymore than I mind Germans hosting Oktoberfest, or the Italian community having Fiesta. However, there’s a difference between being proud of your heritage and keeping cultural traditions alive, and imposing them on others and demanding to be accommodated instead of adapting also to our culture too such as also learning our language and embracing our values of hard work, democracy and equality. It’s NOT an either or choice! You can do BOTH.

I understand the world is not perfect and not every child can be wanted or born into a good situation financially, emotionally and physically. I realize part of respecting the sanctity of life also means the quality of that life matters more than simply being biologically alive. I also realize the mother has rights too including her own right to live. However, the idea that the child has no rights at all and abortion is simply a healthcare choice for the mother’s convenience instead of the weighty ethical decision involving the  termination of a human life is not something I will accept.

I understand we cannot live in fear and paranoia just because of some bad apples out there and forget to be kind and accepting and see the good in people, but we also cannot let our guard down and let a bad apple hurt our country and its citizens.

I understand some have more “privilege” than others they were lucky to be born with, but they cannot control their gender or skin color anymore than you can control your race or gender that may disadvantage you. Making people feel guilty and putting the onus on them to solve your problems is as unfair as asking you to change something you cannot simply because you were born a certain way. Also note, race and gender are not the only things that make someone have “privilege”. A good socioeconomic status and strong support network work wonders…

I understand many transgender people are not bad people, nor do they want to go out and victimize others, but simply want to live how they wish. However, my issue is not with legitimate trans women but those who will use that as an excuse to prey on women in women’s spaces and dominate women’s sports unfairly due to physical strength and endurance exceeding women’s, or my issue is with trans men who insist they are capable of the physical strength of a man but are biological women weakening our defenses such as the armed forces. I don’t wish ill will on those who suffer greatly in a body they feel is not their own, but I also cannot accept that their needs outweigh the other 99%’s needs.

I understand we need to treat everyone of all colors fairly and equally, and make sure they are not being discriminated against. However that also extends to the majority too as true equality is not what you take away from someone who already is on top, and giving it to the bottom, but giving the bottom what the top already has so EVERYONE has the same rights and privileges. Shutting down white people’s opinions or not hiring someone because they’re white citing past inequality only creates reverse discrimination.

I understand that we should be aware of what we say so we don’t hurt someone, but they should be aware not everything people say that sounds hurtful was meant to be and that maybe it was you who misinterpreted what they really meant. Also, I understand we should not be going out of our way to be “offensive” and rude, but not everything needs to be taken so gravely nor is it meant to genuinely offend. Also, sometimes, the truth hurts but needs to be acknowledged despite offending people.

As a woman, I understand that women have not always had ideal treatment by society. However, women have more power and greater freedom than countless other places in the world here in America. Whining about a tampon tax or pink razors for women or the fact a guy told you to smile once does not compare to having acid thrown in your face for not hiding it and being sold as a “wife”, (a.k.a sex slave) by your father to a man at age 12. Nor do we need to be like men and take on traditional men’s roles to be “empowered” and autonomous human beings.

Among other examples!

And to make one final important point, why can’t we just talk? Why can’t instead of dismissing me as a closed minded bigot who is all wrong, actually tell me why I’m wrong and give me specific examples? Now, I do acknowlege the few who do make more nuanced arguments against my arguments and I commend them. I’m talking to those who just want to endlessly rant about me being wrong and a bigot without giving any substantive counter arguments of their own, or simply showing me where I messed up. I’m not allergic to facts and figures. I’m not dismissive if someone makes the effort to try and educate me on a topic in a scholarly manner coming from a desire to help. What I do shut down though, are the ranters and ravers who only want to be a troll. I honestly would love to know why you didn’t vote Trump without going into an unhinged tirade of accusations without telling me why you think they’re true. Or more specifically why you might feel it’s unjustified to say Western Culture is beneficial compared to the 3rd world, or why you want more illegals in the country, or more gun control, or less strict abortion laws, why you believe white privilege is a thing, or why you think we need safe spaces etc…etc…

One critic of mine claimed they were a cultural anthropologist. Well guess what? I’m very interested in anyone who’s an academic in a scientific field and what they have to say and why. Instead of ranting and raving about me being wrong based off you being a cultural anthropologist, why not actually take the time to educate me, one lover of anthropology to another and not righteous SJW to some bigot, why my arguments about Western Culture are wrong beyond simply crying “past oppression!” Side note to all the scholars out there who disagree with me, I want to learn from your expertise and find out why you think I’m wrong. However I learn nothing from you just flaunting your credentials at me then proceeding to simply state I’m wrong. Unlike your stereotypes of conservatives, I do not embrace pseudo-scientific bunk and hate intellectuals! You may be shocked to find out I have a deep passion for topics such as the natural and social sciences.

Overall, if you simply critique my views from a desire to educate me and help, I’m not offended nor dismissive of you. I will listen, even if we end up not agreeing after the fact. I can respect a well made argument against me and maybe even modify my own views. Just stop the ranting, raving and personal attacks. And next time you criticize my position, please take the time to read the caveats and acknowlege them!

Your Choice, Their Body…

I’m sure you all have heard of the recent laws being passed in several states restricting women’s abilities to get abortions. For many, it’s a victory in the fight to recognize the human right to life for the unborn, but for others, it comes as a severe blow for women’s rights to her bodily autonomy. Abortion is an incredibly heated topic, perhaps more so than all the others I’ve covered on this blog! Regardless of where you personally stand on the issue, I think much of the controversy rests in the fact that many pro-choice people miss the points the pro-life side is trying to make. The pro-choice side sees it as a struggle against the “patriarchy” over obsessive control over women’s bodies and has decided that men have no say in the matter, and argue that person hood and the rights that come with it don’t start until birth. However, the pro-life arguments I have heard have nothing to do with obsessively controlling what women do with their bodies, and all about protecting any ethical concerns regarding the person hood and right to life of the developing fetus. To many pro-life people, they define those rights beginning at conception. Some define it after a heart beat begins at around 6 weeks. Some factor in the when ability for pain and suffering would be present in the equation.

As to my own personal views on the matter, I will only say this right now: The issue is not all black and white, but ANY viewpoint or decision on the matter has to be about the child’s interests, NOT what’s merely convenient for mom! I’m honestly enraged by the blasé attitude of “my body my choice”, because the child growing inside of you is its own entity despite needing your body for survival for the first 9 months. Yes, bearing a child to term is a drain on your body, but just because your already born kids are a drain on your bank account doesn’t give you the moral right to terminate your parenthood over them, now does it?… Why not a “my bank account, my rules” clause too that relives parents of the legal obligation to feed and clothe their kids as well? A fetus depends on your body but is NOT part of your body and regardless if you are pro-choice or pro-life that’s just biology. It is not your cells. It is not your DNA. It often is not your blood type, and what many women find out the hard way, nor your Rh factor. The REAL crux of the issue is not about whether or not it’s biologically part of your own body, but the point at which it gains its own moral person hood and human rights in its own interests apart from yours, which is a nuanced and contentiously debated issue!

And nuanced and high stakes ethical issues require all sides be on the same page as to what’s being argued. I can respect arguments about the quality of life for the child after it’s born, as part of honoring life is understanding that all life is sacred, but the quality of that life matters just as much as being biologically alive. I can understand arguments about the mother’s health and safety in extreme cases other than mere inconvenience or some discomfort. What I cannot and will not consider though, is the total disregard for the fact that there even is a separate life to consider in the equation! 

The radical Leftist pro-choice side has lost more and more credibility with me the more they deny there are any rights to be considered for the child and couch their arguments in terms of convenience and argue strawmans about some mythical right-wing fundamentalist “patriarchy” in a mass conspiracy to get women pregnant and keep them that way. Really? The guys would have to pay child support for the next 18 years then! If they were being selfish and callous, they would encourage MORE abortions! He wants to cover up his mistake too… Oh, and the idea terminating a life is merely a “medical procedure” sounds chilling to both sides in any other context… Conversely, I have only gained more respect for pro-life arguments which do consider the interests of the unborn child above all else, because that’s what a parent does, and I agree parenthood morally begins once you know you’re pregnant, (and many on either side agree in terms of drinking and drugs while pregnant…) and parents put their children first above all else. Do I think the mother has zero rights herself? No, but while every life is sacred and person deserving of their human rights including mom, a mother puts her children first.

However, we could avoid this entire issue and the ugly realities it brings out for both sides of the debate if people could have the self control to not pop out unwanted kids then feel the need to clean up the mess! In that I agree with the pro-choice side: Your body, your choice, but also your consequences! With freedom, comes responsibility ladies. If you expect a man to step up to the plate if you choose to keep your baby, then why can’t you hold yourself to that same standard? Sex is NOT a right, and it’s certainly not a right to bring a child into this world you can’t care for and won’t want to! Prevention is the best cure!

Oh, and to the women on sex strike not raising future kids they will resent or turn into soy boys or radical man haters, thank you for this wonderful gift to humanity! 😉

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(Oh, and P.S., all the conservative men said “NO!” first 😉 )

Mom: The Most Important Job…

If you have been privileged to have an amazing mom then you know that she deserves her own special day and more! Regardless of race, gender, politics, religion, culture, etc… we can all agree a loving, caring, supportive mother who is your biggest fan and loves you unconditionally is one of your greatest privileges to have in this life.

Throughout history, across all cultures, all peoples, no matter what side you’re on, the shared experience many have of the love of their mothers brings most of humanity together. Yet, why is it then in our society motherhood is looked upon as a burden, a chore, enslavement even for women? Is motherhood easy? Certainly not! But what is easy in this life that’s worth lifelong happiness? The feminist movement now treats motherhood as part of the “patriarchy”, saying men pressure women to be mothers to enslave them as domestic servants while he goes out to have all the fun! They say that women should be able to get “real jobs” in order to be empowered. Fancy degrees, high powered careers, not “depend on a man” and that kids will hold you back. They say it’s sexist to think of women as mothers first and that their kids take away their identity. However, what if your kids are a permanent part of your identity and you want it that way? Is it possible a woman can live a traditionally feminine lifestyle as a wife and mother and find the fulfillment she wants in life without worrying about what the new age feminists think of her autonomy? What does it honestly say about our society when being the CEO of some company is more important and far more valued then raising the next generation of our future leaders? Or bringing new life into the world?

Some women are now raised to worry about what sort of “impact” she’ll make if she’s stuck at home living for her children and family? She says, “But I want to be empowered! I want to save the world! I want to have bigger dreams than beyond the walls of my home! I want to be autonomous like a man and dream of achieving everything my brothers can…” Now, I get that not all women want a domestic lifestyle and guess what? That’s fine by me. My issue however, is that such attitudes often are not made from many women’s intrinsic desires, but more of a way to “one-up” the patriarchy or “be like a man” as she feels this is the only way she’ll be empowered and autonomous, or make any impact on the world. She feels that it’s “sexist” to be told that motherhood is one of her greatest callings she can pursue, but what of the inherent sexism I’ve argued about before  in sending women the message that the only way to matter in this world is to become a man and shun traditional femininity? Isn’t it silly though, to believe that mothers make no mark on the world? Anyone who has had a mother in their life has been deeply impacted by her love, care, devotion and everlasting support, or in the unfortunate case where that was not the case, they do not forget how she was absent when they needed her to be a mother.

If motherhood does not make an impact, then why do countless cultures hold a special place of honor for a mother? Why is one of the rare times a man can break down and show real raw emotions is when he loses his mother, or get sentimental over the memories he’s had with her? Why can soldiers, trained for stoic bravery and fearlessness sob in the barracks at night over missing mom, or in their most vulnerable moment, cry out to her when sick or injured and people don’t see them as less of a man? Why have many high powered women in leadership positions, who have broken barriers for women often cite their mothers as their strength and inspiration to achieve their dreams? Or all the so called powerful men of the “patriarchy” credit their moms for their success as well? What about the phrase behind every great man is a great woman?

How can anyone say that the woman whose shoulder you cry on, the woman you laugh with, who loves you unconditionally, who applauds your successes and supports you in your weakest moments, who is your biggest fan, who has raised you since day one, who has carried you in her body to her own inconvenience big and small, or has opened her heart to you and raised you as if she had carried you within her, has sacrificed more than you will ever know for you and the family, etc…etc… did not make an impact in this world? Saying she has no freedom, and is reduced to a mere slave unable to achieve anything “worthwhile” like a job in the workforce is the most sexist insult you can give a woman, and yet society reinforces that message everyday to prospective mothers.

“Oh, you have so much life ahead of you…” “Don’t you want to be something else too?” “You’re too young to decide right now!” are all phrases we take for granted, and yet perpetuate the bias that motherhood and traditional womanhood is oppressive and limiting. Imagine anyone saying these things to girls when they say they want to be in a career! Absurd when you see it that way… A job isn’t everything in life. Yes, I realize that many women can’t be stay at home moms anymore, including my own mother. However, couldn’t that be argued to have been forced on women too, as a result of this “independent woman” craze? When we stopped expecting women to be home full time with the children and out in the workforce like men, we stopped supporting women as wives and mothers, and give less opportunities for men to be breadwinners in their families. Now, a woman not working is often considered a leech by men who feel she is just freeloading off his earnings, rather than being like the men before him who saw it as their duty as a man to provide for his wife and family.

Now, my mom did work like many mothers of this day and age in a solid career and actually was the breadwinner in my family! She enjoyed her career and did in fact, earn a graduate degree and is proud of that and of her ability to provide for her family. However, she was always mom first. Something many high powered career women who subscribe to the masculine ideal of a fulfilling life aren’t. She cut back her hours to always be a stable presence in my life and if she could have, she would have stayed home full time to raise me. She could have risen up higher in her job, but chose her children over her career ambitions because she knew that the impact she would make on me, and the legacy she would leave behind as a mother was far more important than a fleeting career promotion. She knew that a career was a wonderful thing to have, but being a mom was far more important and her #1 job no matter what!

The devaluing of mothers in society is the root of many issues today with women resentful of their own kids as obstacles rather than legacies, kids stuck in daycare full time rather than being with mommy, little help for stay at home moms to stay home and make ends meet, and the constant message of under-appreciation from a society bent on women becoming more and more like men. When will the so called feminists, advocates of women as they claim to be, stand up for traditional femininity as being equal to being like men? When will more women cherish the children they brought into this world more than their next job promotion? When will the lifelong impact and legacy a mother leaves on her family be valued just as much as the next scientific breakthrough or glass ceiling shattered? How worth it is shattering that glass ceiling if your children will be stuck on the other side?

Why does the world have to know about you? Why do you need approval from the whole world? Is the legacy you leave behind on your family enough? Why is being like a man with an outside job so much more meaningful than raising the next generation? To me, it speaks more of a society obsessed with money and worldly prestige, power and fame, which all fade soon enough, than with creating a legacy spanning generations of commitment, support, and unconditional love.

Look, there’s nothing bad about having careers or wanting other identities in addition to motherhood. Motherhood may not be for every woman, and if you truly don’t want to become one, for the sake for any future children raised in your future resentment and neglect, don’t be. But don’t discount becoming a mother because of some radical feminist message that it will make you a lesser human being or strip you of your empowerment, as the most empowered women I know are mothers and proud of it. It’s time we women  show the world we are NOT lesser or oppressed because we choose to value something different than being like the pseudo-men the feminist movement brainwashes us to become. Mothers, you ARE making an impact in this world, one FAR greater than any worldly career!

Thank you, Mom!

To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world… 

—Unknown