Yes, Sometimes You Have to Work Harder Than The Next Guy…

I’ve wanted to bring up this point for a while now: Sometimes it takes more work to get where you want than for another person.

Now, as obvious as this sounds to most people, apparently this is breaking news for the Left! Their beef is the fact that not everyone has that “even chance” in life. The most commonly cited examples being racial minorities or women. The Left argues that racial bias and prejudice has held back countless qualified employees, brilliant students and hard working people from reaping the deserved rewards for their hard work. The idea that even despite the civil rights movement and a bigger push for equality, racism is still rife and people will do anything to get around anti-discrimination laws leading to the system keeping racial minorities in poverty and trapped in a downward spiral. Instead of seeing many minority communities as represented by lawyers, doctors, CEO’s etc… they are seen as welfare leeches, criminals and a drain on society.

Women too, as gender is the other huge example they argue about face similar bias in the eyes of the Left. Women are dismissed, not taken seriously, looked upon as weak, incompetent, and unsuited for many lines of work traditionally done by men. However, the trends have changed as more and more women break the barriers once faced by women historically. Never the less, the Left still argues women only are paid 3/4 of what men are and are held back from reaching higher levels in their respective careers and limited in stereotypes of more “feminine” lines of work.

In both cases of race and gender, the idea is that those who fall in to either (or both!) don’t have the same chances of a white male in particular of landing a good career or getting into a good school. In the minds of the Left, the system keeps them trapped, and the idea that in America, you can work your way up in this life is a fantasy. Now, I don’t deny that gross inequalities have existed historically, and still exist in society. I understand that not everyone does have an even chance at life and success and the wider forces of society do influence all of us and what we’re able to achieve. However, the Left misses a very crucial other piece of the puzzle to success: The individual’s determination to get what they want.

I think the Left has created their own reality about the situation. They over attribute social factors negating personal ones and other factors that may have had the outcome of being held back. I’ve argued more in detail about the whys in previous posts, but for the sake of the argument I want to make let’s assume everything the Left says about “the system” keeping women and minorities down is true. So, to be clear here, the basic assumptions I am going off of are the ideas that racial minorities and women are kept back by society and that their race, gender or both have been the main factor in hindering their success in life.

However, who says race and gender are the only factors holding you back? Yep. Just because you weren’t hired you can automatically assume it had to be racially motivated, or because you’re a woman? What about factors such as social connections, family connections and networking? I personally have applied for many jobs where I had none of the above, and got the job. However, I’m sure I didn’t get the other 9 out of 10 I applied for because there was a shoe-in from within the company. Or the manager’s cousin needed work. Or I just didn’t know anyone who could put in a good word about me. Or in college, the professor running the research or that internship already knew another student well and liked their work while I came in as a complete stranger. College is the same! Ever heard of legacy admissions? 😉 Or the other family donated a ton of money to the school. Or the last spot was filled by the Dean’s nephew ahead of 20 other qualified students including you. You can’t rule out that factor if you have no connections for the job or the dream school you want no matter what your race or gender! You cant know for sure exactly why you didn’t make the cut, and if you lack connections of any kind, you can’t rule that out.

What about prior experience and qualifications? Yes, you might have a Master’s degree in business administration, but that company wants someone who worked in a bigger company or with a specific skill set. A college may not accept you if they want to fill some quota of different majors or clubs people are in. Maybe they wanted a more intense focus in specific types of community service. Just because you’re a female professor, or a professor of color doesn’t mean that’s the reason you didn’t get tenure. They might have wanted someone with different research concentrations. Or your class reviews went down this year. Or they have that shoe-in already no matter what you do to make yourself the most deserving. You would think jobs and schools would be transparent about such specific desires, but often times they’re not. I have applied to many opportunities without a strong history of past relevant experiences, and surprise, surprise, I wasn’t chosen. Am I entitled to jump to the conclusion it’s because I’m a woman despite my lack of relevant experience?

Now some might say, “but I did have a stellar resume, GPA, etc… and still didn’t get the job or into the school I wanted!” For that, I say see the paragraph on lack of connections, and consider the fact that as I just said, they might be looking for a specific thing you don’t have despite your experiences and qualifications. I had a strong academic record to bring to the table in my college application to my top choice school. However, I wasn’t accepted. Why? I don’t know exactly, but my guess is I didn’t have something else they wanted to bring to that next year’s class. However, a Y chromosome wasn’t my first guess! 😉 So in conclusion, there are other factors you need to consider before crying victim to racial or gender discrimination.

Even if you can eliminate those other factors in why you weren’t given the opportunity, and you can solidly conclude it was your race or gender, does that have to stop you? Maybe you do have to work twice as hard to prove yourself. Maybe you do have to put out more applications, follow up more, become more assertive in pursuing your career goals. Maybe you do need to prove to them your priority is with them, and not with what they assume it is. Is it fair you are under a microscope your colleagues or classmates are not? No! But is life fair 100% of the time for anyone? Maybe white guy down the hall isn’t getting promoted or is in danger of getting laid off because he doesn’t have connections despite being white and male, but you just don’t know his situation and assume he’s working his way up easily because of his skin color or his chromosomes when he might be under his own microscope too. Maybe you’re a minority, but have a degree, training, specific research, past relevant internships etc…the white person doesn’t giving you the edge on your resume when coming up for review.

Point is, regardless of if we get what we want or not, we all have a mixture of advantages and disadvantages that may include race and gender. I’m not saying there is no gender or racial bias out there. However, why is race and gender “extra special” and entitle you to cry victim over for example, someone who simply doesn’t have the right connections? You can argue, “but you have no control over race or gender”, but how much control do you have over whether or not you’re the manager’s cousin?

So what’s a person to do? You have to work harder than everyone else, exceed expectations, be held to a higher standard, and you can’t control your race or gender. The solution seems to be mind blowing to the Left: Instead of whining and demanding affirmative action programs and quotas, actually put in the extra work to get what you want. Yes. Outwork the next guy and if you have to work twice as hard, work twice as hard! If the world thinks you don’t look like what you want to be, don’t whine about how oppressed you are, prove them wrong by pushing hard to achieve your goals. You may need more patience. People might push back and try to limit you. Not hire you. Not admit you. You probably won’t get in as fast as a more “privileged” person. But will you let that stop you? And what if there is no one like you in your dream field? Well someone had to be the first woman/minority doctor, lawyer, researcher, PhD holder, engineer, etc…  Why can’t the next someone be you? Blaze the trail yourself if you want the path created. Our heroes we look up to in the history books all did in spite of the prejudice and bias.

If you give up, doesn’t that just let those whom you feel are keeping you down win? If you throw in the towel and don’t call back, stop applying, don’t push for what you want to do in life and say “Well, I’m a person of color/woman so I will never get where I want to be” then you gave up on yourself. Not the world. Is it fair you’re held back more than others for reasons you have no control over? No! But that’s reality. Don’t whine about wanting change, BE the change! Hurdles don’t mean a closed door. They just mean a door that’s a little harder to unlock. But there is a key. That key just means working harder than the other guy sometimes… All you need is to be given one chance for that door to open. It’s up to you to have the motivation to seek it out. You CAN go far in life, you just have to work a little harder sometimes 🙂

One final point: What about the fact that white males are passed over now due to affirmative action programs? Perhaps today being a woman or minority is now the advantage 😉 …

The Left’s Social (Ir)responsibility…

Social responsibility: The idea that while we enjoy many individual freedoms, we cannot do just whatever we please to the detriment to our community.

I think we all embrace this concept to varying degrees despite debating the more subtle nuances. For example, many agree that your freedom to drink and drive ends when another person’s safety begins, or as some may argue, albeit far more contentiously, that vaccinating yourselves and your kids is a social responsibility toward herd immunity against disease for those who cannot get vaccinated for various reasons. Even minor daily things like basic manners and consideration of others could fall under a sort of micro version social responsibility. While we all agree we should be considerate of those around us, the problem starts when our personal freedoms get smaller and smaller all in the name of “social responsibility”. It’s a delicate balance between our right to personal choices, and others’ rights in a collective society that may affect the choices we as individuals can make for ourselves without thinking of everyone else’s needs too. In this “land of the free”, freedom should be paramount, but to live in a cohesive society, we all need to take into account the needs of the group, not just each individual.

Personally, I’m for the idea that we must do everything we can to preserve the maximum amount of freedom of personal choice as possible and some of our personal choices can ethically outweigh the needs of the group. However, I cannot go so far to say we owe nothing to contributing to a smooth and cohesive society as a whole either, such as in the case of being “free” to endanger others by driving drunk for instance. Never the less, attempts to restrict individual freedom in the name of “social responsibility” can lead down a dangerous slippery slope when the powers that be use it as an excuse to slowly take away our freedoms. This argument however, is often used by the Left against conservatives. Whatever social agenda they wish to push, they always pull out the collective responsibility card to further restrict our freedoms or demand more entitlements such as your tax money for welfare, forced indoctrination of your children, and social agendas that feel good rather than do good.

The ironic, but perhaps not surprising thing anymore is, like most of the Left’s hypocrisy, they ought to look in the mirror when speaking of social responsibility! The Left wants and demands to be given the choice to feel entitled to have hook up culture, enable welfare cradle to grave, force their agendas on the next generation and control everything they think, take away our means of defense, demand someone’s personal choice outweighs the interests of society and such. Here are some prime examples:

A person’s own personal choice to be transgender is lauded by the Left, and now demands that the rules of biology, evidence based science, and all of society must be turned on its head for those who want to redefine the norm so they can feel normal. They say that it’s a personal choice that harms no one, and that all the hoopla over the issue is a right-wing conspiracy and sexist. After all, who does it hurt if a man wants to live and identify  as a woman? Why should we care if a dude wears a dress and renames himself Susie? Why can’t there be more than a gender binary view of human nature? However, it’s not that simple.

Living as a woman with the expectation that you, a biological male, are entitled to enter women’s private spaces, compete with masculine strength on women’s sports teams, and such has consequences beyond just your own personal lifestyle choices. If it were simply about one’s personal choices, I’d have no issue at all, but that’s not the case. Women have been endangered before when perverts assaulted them in bathrooms and changing rooms pretending to be transgender. Biological male athletes on women’s teams have significantly out competed their fellow women in endurance and strength. On the flip side, trans men who are biological women do not have the requisite strength and endurance in male dominated fields such as the armed forces. Not to mention simply the idea of one feeling entitled to redefine the norm and what is factual based on their own personal feelings! So no, transgender people’s personal decisions do affect others around them yet the Left cries “personal choice” when confronted with that reality while ignoring the detriments to society. If you want to argue that communal welfare outweighs personal choices, then why not in this case?

Or consider the example of the Left’s promotion of promiscuity to young women to “get ahead” and be “empowered”. Treating sex as a handshake, a mere commodity instead of a milestone for a young woman has real and lasting detriments. It’s not, as many perceive the issue, about nosy prudes sticking their noses in everyone’s business! There are reasons why sex on a whim and confusing promiscuity with empowerment is detrimental beyond arbitrary edicts, attitudes and cultural taboos. The Left says sexual freedom must be paramount for women to be equal to men, but they forget: with freedom comes responsibility!

Yes, your personal choices regarding your sexual activity do matter for society. They matter for all the unwanted oops babies born to parents with nothing to offer them and no resources to care for them, adding a drain on services to feed, clothe, educate and provide healthcare for these children. Speaking of healthcare, isn’t it a drain on the system to be flooded with patients needing treatment for their STD’s, prenatal care and yes, abortion? What about all the misunderstandings that can arise out of murky situations regarding consent and willingness the police and courts have to deal with? All the criminal cases when she hooks up with the wrong guy? Or conversely, the young men now at risk for a false allegation that will destroy his life? What about all the young women being brainwashed into the idea that sex is a handshake and mistake exploitation for empowerment? It’s not just between you and your partner anymore when you bring 1000+ liabilities to the bedroom whenever you choose to hook up? Society did not “consent” to clean up the mess you made when you had your little slip up last night!

My last but certainly not the final example of the Left’s hypocrisy regarding social responsibility is the welfare system. They say we owe our fellow society members in need a helping hand. And if everyone were motivated to give it and pass it forward too that’s fine. The issue is though, many take clear advantage of the welfare system despite families in need who need it legitimately. The welfare system is now really the welfare state, one where families are enables to live cradle to grave off welfare with no thoughts of further career choices. Instead of using food stamps for food to feed their wife and children, they exchange them for drugs. Instead of wanting an honest job, they are content to collect our tax dollars then raise their kids to do likewise. Instead of coming to America to work, they come for our handouts while homemaking widows, starving children, wounded veterans and their families, that family who just needs this month’s rent to secure that job interview and get back to self sufficiency, etc… are denied what welfare is REALLY supposed to be for! One must ask: What about their responsibility to society to be self sufficient and earn their living rather than leech off of everyone else’s hard work?

All in all, the Left likes to cry “social responsibilities” when we ask for personal freedoms, yet ignores how they hurt society by letting people feel entitled to do what the want regardless of the consequences for society to bear. Society is NOT here to clean up and subsidize your poor choices! We, society, are not here to clean up the mess you made by:

Your unwanted pregnancies

Your STD’s

Your nasty divorce and custody battle requiring extensive therapy for your traumatized kids

Your addiction you pass off as an involuntary disease

Your choice to live as a woman then demand access to women’s spaces endangering REAL women

Living off welfare cradle to grave on OUR tax dollars

The laws that stops law abiding gun owners from defending society

Teaching a generation that what feels good matters more than what does good

And many others!

See? The best thing about embracing personal choice over societal obligations is personal choices get personal consequences 😉 You make the choice: You own it. Society should not be obligated in any way to clean up one’s own personal mess!

Ladies, Be Empowered!

This is addressed to my fellow women out there. I’ve covered much of the flaws of feminist thinking, especially along #MeToo lines in sexual assault prevention, which is basically zero. I’ve also covered in several articles my argument for more personal accountability to lessen one’s risks of assault as well as holding the perpetrator accountable too. Look, I know this topic isn’t all that pleasant, and very serious, but it must be addressed head on. I agree with the Left that misconceptions are a roadblock to empowering women to fight back against sexual assault, but I argue that it is in fact their side, that is fostering dangerous misconceptions about sexual assault.

Their basic premise is that too often, we shift the blame on the victim rather than the perpetrator and even go so far as to say we created a “rape culture” where rape is not only tolerated, but thought of as a man’s “right”. They say that the only thing that causes rape is the rapist, and nothing else. Therefore, one cannot talk about how alcohol or drugs play a role. Nor other poor risky choices such as becoming isolated or suggestive behavior/dress. Now, I will say that they are correct that one does indeed, need a rapist, to commit rape. Alcohol, sexy clothes, drugs, partying, does not literally cause a rape to happen, just as gun violence can only happen if someone pulls the trigger. However, the above factors do indeed create an increased risk of victimization, and are correlated with incidents of sexual assault.

Rapists are going to rape no matter what, because if you are at the point where you feel entitled to rape someone, you don’t care one bit about how it will impact your victim. You may not even care what they are wearing either, as many argue rape is more about power than sexuality. However, barring any empathy for your victim, you still have to choose one! So, which girl, if you would put yourself in the mindset of a callous rapist, but doesn’t want to get caught, would you choose? The girl who’s sober, more modestly dressed surrounded by 5 other girlfriends, (a.k.a. witnesses) at the party, or the one who’s almost blackout drunk, isolated, and in suggestive clothing that can be used as an excuse later in court in your favor? Who do you think would be noticed more if missing? Who do you think would put up less of a fight?

Now, does either girl deserve to get raped? Absolutely not! No one ever “deserves” rape, and nothing ever “justifies” rape. However, the cold, hard ugly truth of the matter is, one girl is more at risk than the other to be chosen as the next victim. Rapists will indeed rape no matter what whenever they find the chance, but it’s on us, ladies, to make sure he has the least amount of chances possible to target us. Causation for increasing your risk is not justification for the crime! Is it fair that we must go out of our way to look out for creeps? NO! But that’s reality. We shouldn’t need to watch out for each other at parties, or a girls’ night out. We shouldn’t have to worry about trusting the guy to take us home safely. Or buy us that drink and worry if he drugged it. We should be able to dress as sexy as we want without any unwanted advances. However, what we should be able to do and what we are able to do without putting ourselves more at risk aren’t identical.

And yes, sometimes, rape will happen when we do everything right to lessen our chances. Rapists will rape, we get it… But isn’t that true for any crime? A burglar can still smash in your window even when you lock your door every night, but does that mean you shouldn’t bother to lock your doors? We talk about more emphasis on teaching boys not to rape and assault women, instead of teaching girls how to empower themselves and lessen their risks in the logic that the solution is solely on telling men not to rape.

However, look at it this way: We teach our children not to steal, yet there are still thieves. Should the solution for burglary be simply to teach people to not steal and call any attempt at advising people to lock their doors or hide their valuables victim blaming? After all, no one has the right to steal your stuff no matter where you leave it! Similarly, there are still rapists despite teaching boys not to rape. The crime is not going away in both cases sadly. So what are we to do? Just sit around on our hands and complain about the obvious injustice, or do something to protect ourselves from becoming a victim, even if it means making inconvenient and yes, unfair, lifestyle adjustments?

Ladies, we need to live in the world as it is, not live in the world that we want it to be. Even if that world demands a “sexist” or un-PC answer to lessening our risk. We ARE judged by how we dress, whether we like it or not. Wearing sexy, provocative clothing, while never justifying any unwanted advances, sends off the signal that you want a consensual interaction and if the wrong guy who’s a complete callous jerk feels you “led him on”, yes, some will cross that line into assault. It’s ugly and unfair, wildly unfair and unjust, but ladies, this is the reality we live in. It’s not about simple morality, or saying that the girl in the sexy dress is morally “lesser” or “bad” and deserves assault, but it is about the fact that as unfair as it is, you ARE judged by how you choose to present yourself, and a real rapist can use it as an excuse in his sick twisted mind to justify harming you.

Drinking until you’re black out drunk, going off alone with a strange guy at the party, taking a drink that could be roofied easily etc… increases your chances of victimization and puts you in a vulnerable position. No, alcohol doesn’t cause rape to happen, but it does increase your risk the rapist will target you because you can’t physically resist or even say “no”. Going off alone with no witnesses and no one to step in to protect you is the perfect way to be victimized. Is this fair? Is it fair that women need to be careful instead of just being carefree when out for the night? Of course not! But as said before, this is the cold hard reality of the world we live in.

Saying all this is bound to draw the ire of many screaming “victim blaming!”, but this is no more victim blaming than suggesting one lock their doors or hide valuables to lessen chances of a burglary. Rapes can happen even after every base is covered. But so can burglaries. So can any crime. NO set of precautions has a 100% guarantee or covers every situation. That however, doesn’t mean we don’t take those precautions. Yes, the rapist could be someone you know and trust. Yes it can happen elsewhere than parties. Yes, more subtle coercion could be involved. Yes, I know all those things! That however does not belittle the merits of precautions against rapes that do happen with strangers, or in parties for instance. You may not be able to avoid one scenario, but does that mean “Why bother learning how to avoid the other”? Sure, the burglar can just smash in my window, but he sure won’t come through my door if I can help it! 😉

Ladies, it’s also not black and white. I’m not saying you can never party, you can never go out, you can never wear that “cute little number” to the club on girls’ night, you can never have a drink or hang out with a guy. We don’t have to dress like nuns and never leave our homes! All I’m proposing is to be aware. Awareness is half the battle, and with a good dose of awareness and common sense, you can have that night out of fun and be as safe as you can. Empowerment is liberating, not constraining. The awareness to know what the risk factors are, and how to avoid them is liberating, as you can live your life, just be aware and vigilant. When we drive, we learn the rules of the road. When we choose where to live, we look into crime rates. We have fire drills. We have emergency drills. We look over our shoulder in that sketchy area. We hide our valuables. We do all these things AND live a normal life full of excitement and fun. Can we do everything we want, (drink to excess, dress like we’re turning tricks, go off with every guy in the bar etc… etc..)? No. But in moderation, and with awareness of the risks, we can weigh our chances and act accordingly.