Equally Treated : Equally Criticized

Criticism: Everyone gives it, everyone gets it! This has been known to all who have ever had an opinion about anything! Even more benign topics than politics or morality, such as pineapple on pizza, is it gross or tasty? Chocolate or vanilla? Dog lover or cat lover? The list goes on and on in our everyday lives we don’t even think of, nor truly care about if someone happens to have a different idea of what they like. Of course though, when the stakes are a little higher than “what’s for lunch?” disagreements get more heated! From gay rights, to religion, to racial issues, gender issues, foreign policy, etc…etc… issues that will affect countless people other than yourself, disputes on how to handle them provoke far more conflict.

Issues that both sides of the aisle can agree needed change, such as blatant racism, segregation, the oppression of women, intolerance for different lifestyles, religions, etc… that led to violence, threats and out and out bigotry, have been addressed and still are. I think we can all agree it was a good thing to stop segregation, lynch mobs, slavery etc… or stop treating wives and children as property, or letting women reap the rights and duties as citizens of this country too. Or to be more open minded to a changing society and learning about those who are different from ourselves. We’ve come along way from a century ago and many things I’ll admit I’m glad we can leave behind in the history books.

However, there comes a new issue with this newfound freedom many groups now enjoy alongside us: The pendulum swinging too far the other way! See, I don’t mean that in the sense they are too equal and should be put back in a state of disadvantage and inequality again, but in their right and just equality with the traditional “majority”, they feel in order to be our equal, they must become our superior! How is this?

Well, take the issue of criticism. It is true many minority groups feel that if a member of the majority group criticizes any aspect about them, this must mean that the criticizer wants to revoke their equality in this country and set them back a century! Now, in a way, I can get an understanding of why some may feel this way. If you genuinely feel that the group who gave you your equality is bitter and resentful and wants any excuse to find a way to revoke it, then yeah, I can understand that. Or if historically, that group had a voice and you didn’t, you might feel that when today, your former “oppressors” speak up and critique something, it can bring flash backs of that earlier time where you didn’t have a voice to respond.

Trouble is of course, just because you feel a certain way, doesn’t make it true! Just because something “feels” like past oppression, doesn’t mean it is. For one example, a brutally honest critique of a minority group doesn’t always mean that the person making the criticism does it out of hatred or bigotry for that race. It may sound very harsh and uncharitable to hear, but that person may have a valid point. If one says that for example, the Black community is disproportionately affected by crime and has a 75% illegitimacy rate, and this should change to build better communities and families, unless these assertions came out of thin air and are false, it is a valid criticism that needs to be addressed. Just because, say, the person noting this was White, doesn’t mean they say this out of ill will, bigotry and hatred for the black community, anymore than when fellow Black leaders such as Walter Williams and Thomas Sowell say it. No more “racist” than when someone in the Black community wishes to offer a criticism of White people and ask them to address something that they feel needs fixing, such as racial bias…

Or look at Native Americans. Reservations often have similar issues with crime and gangs. Child abuse and alcoholism are rife. So is poverty, and no, it’s not solely “the white man’s fault!”. Does bringing this up beyond blaming white people mean that person hates Indians? Not necessarily! You don’t need to be Native American to see the devastation alcoholism and poverty had affected many of their communities! Perhaps maybe, just maybe, the outsider who raised the issue genuinely wants to help and to do so, must bring it out into the open?

Every society has things that are good, and things that need to be looked at with a critical eye and addressed. Hiding one’s need for change behind labels such as “racist” and making excuses that only your group can ever critique your society when the issues at hand are plain for all to see, lets a blind eye be turned to pressing issues as of course no one likes being criticized and told they need change! If the only people who can criticize you are you, then how honest will you really be with yourself??? Outside 3rd parties help eliminate some internal bias or even just shortsightedness for things an insider may take for granted. An obvious fabrication and lie told about a group is not the same as a proven fact that happens to be unflattering being called out in the open by others. A criticism is not the same as slander!

A slightly different circumstance but related to the idea of being immune from any outside criticism is happening to the gay community. It’s now the law of the land gays have the same civil rights, including a legal marriage here in the United States. In fact, being gay is becoming more and more accepted and less stigmatized. I know plenty of gay people, who are just like you and me, have jobs, go to school, like the same things, and are probably among your friends, classmates, coworkers, your favorite celebrity, etc…  From even a few decades ago, the LGBT community has made immense strides in being socially accepted and are being represented exponentially in the media and in society.

However, this apparently is not enough. Despite all the acceptance as well as gaining the clear legal right they wanted to see happen nationwide, they now demand that no one can ever criticize or disagree with their lifestyle. Look, some people have religious objections to the gay lifestyle. Some find it distasteful in their personal opinion. There is still opposition to gay marriage. And yes, instances of threats and violence and bullying have affected the gay community. Thing is though, there is a vast difference between those who do actual violence and threats towards gay people, and those who in their private opinion, don’t embrace the idea of being gay for religious reasons or otherwise. Many of these people would never threaten a gay family, or do violence against them. Those that do are a very small minority who we can all agree are in the wrong regardless of their opinions!

No one is entitled to force people to like and embrace your choices in life. You have the right under federal law to be gay and to be free from threats and violence as much as any other citizen in this country. What you don’t have the right to however, is to make everyone embrace your choices or else be labeled a “bigot!” and demonized. I personally don’t mind gay people and nor does my family who would love me just as much if I were gay myself. What I do mind though, is the idea that any valid criticism of the gay community, or someone’s personal distaste for the gay lifestyle must be stamped out and compelled to agree with it in the name of “acceptance”. No, not everyone has to “accept” your choices in their personal opinions!

Still don’t understand? Take my own personal example. I’m an atheist, and a “minority” within the conservative community. Some of my fellow religious conservative peers say things about atheism and non-believers I can find too harsh and un-nuanced, such as the idea that my non-belief means I don’t have any real moral code based in anything real. Or that my life is unfulfilled and I must be angry and bitter. Now, I will argue against these assertions about my non-belief, but I will never demand religious people stop criticizing atheists to spare my “delicate feelings”! They have just as much right to their own opinion and criticisms about my lifestyle choice to be an atheist as a fellow atheist. Many religious people may find atheism distasteful, and that’s okay. The beauty of this country is we can all have our own opinions! Now, it crosses a line if they were to threaten me or openly discriminate against me, but again, criticism alone does NOT equal discrimination! I can be a non-believer in this country just as you can be gay, and we both have the legal right to be what we are. What more should we demand??? Anything beyond that to me smacks of entitlement!

To sum all this up in general for everyone, no one is immune from criticism, nor is entitled to be! As a conservative as well, don’t I and many of my fellow patriots know it! 😉 We don’t demand the Left never criticize us. Just don’t threaten us and our families, bar us from jobs, and ostracize us from society. Nor do we seek to stifle the voices of minorities, women, gays, etc… as in the past. We just want to still let our voices be heard alongside yours now. We do want equality for all in this country. But equality means we all can be equally criticized as well as equally heard! And don’t forget of course, of you want to be free from criticism, then don’t feel entitled to hurl it at others, like straight, white cisgendered males for instance! 🙂

Image result for left party of tolerance cartoon

Advertisements

My #WalkAway Story Series: Verna

My #WalkAway Story Series is a bigger and more long term project for A Lady of Reason, and it’s all about YOU! This is your big chance at getting your voice heard and your own story out there! For many closeted conservatives, afraid for our livelihood, social networks, family connections, even physical safety now, being stuck in the closet can be extremely isolating and it’s easy to feel like it’s you against the world sometimes! I certainly feel that way! By sharing our stories collectively, I hope to give a voice to you, my dear readers and followers here on WordPress and Social Media, to show each other camaraderie and that in fact, we’re NOT alone, just in the shadows. Well folks, it’s time to come out of the shadows and into the light! The “silent majority” is at least half of our nation, so you’re not truly alone. Come and hear others, and add your own voice, your own story to the mix, of what it’s like being a conservative in an increasingly Leftist country! Send me an e-mail at aladyofreason@outlook.com or direct message me at @aladyofreason1 on Twitter to add YOUR story!!! 🙂 I’ll send you the standard question list, or you can just write it free form as a narrative…

Tell me about yourself briefly:

I am 52 and married. I am disabled and worked in the insurance industry as an accountant. My husband is a Army vet, who is also disabled. I grew up military, my father was career Army until his forced “disabled retirement” I had 1 sibling who committed suicide at a young age, Drugs got him☹ My mother was 100% Aztec Indian, her mother legally immigrated to the U.S. from Mexico, Mexico City to be exact. My grandfather was White and worked in the Railroads until his retirement. My father was white, and from Kansas city Missouri. None of my grandparents on either side are living and both of my parents have passed, both at the age of 59 😦 . I love my Cats and am your typical “cat lady” I love to crochet, draw, make crafts of all kinds. I love reading and puzzles. I love all animals but I am just partial to cats. I have no other type of animals. I live in rural Texas, east Texas. I do have 2 step daughters that we hardly ever hear from.

When did you become conservative? If you were ever liberal, what made you walk away?

I have always been conservative, but voted Democrat 1 time in the 80’s by mistake. I thought I was voting Republican and didn’t realize I had voted democrat until it was to late 🙂 I think I was brought up conservative, but wasn’t forced to think that way. I don’t even think my parents voted. I loved politics since high school.

Do you feel at all afraid to be openly conservative? If so, how do you cope with being closeted?

I don’t feel I have to hide that I am conservative because of where I live, but we don’t bring attention to ourselves, because some people have homes, cars etc. vandalized

What advice to you have for other conservatives afraid to speak out?

Advice I have for others is to be “true to one’s self” don’t fear who you are… 🙂

Thanks so much Verna! It was great to hear your story, and as always, you’re welcome to write for my blog anytime! We need voices like yours to speak out so the silent majority is no longer silent 😉

Image may contain: people sitting

You’re Not Alone: Guest Post by The Re-Farmer

The Re-Farmer is a loyal ally and follower of mine who gave me the honor of writing in her advice for my new “You’re Not Alone” page, where conservatives write a piece of advice to help out their fellow allies! She however, wrote enough deserving its own guest post and is the perfect way for me to proudly present my new page of “You’re Not Alone” words of wisdom and encouragement by many of my loyal followers and fellow conservative allies! Thank you so so much Re-Farmer! 🙂

I’ve enjoyed following Lady of Reason’s blog for a while, now, and have really enjoyed all her posts. It’s so great to encounter this level of intellectual discourse and sober thought – something that is increasingly rare, I’m afraid. So it was quite an honour to be asked if I could give some words of encouragement to closeted conservatives. I know that my own experiences are quite different than others – I’m Canadian, for starters, and grew up on a farm two sticks ahead of the stone ages – but I hope that what I’ve learned in my own life can be helpful to others.

I’m not really a closeted conservative, and have been fortunate enough live in areas where being a conservative was pretty normal. My own views used to be far more to the “left” than they are now, which is odd, considering my own experiences and those of my family should have made the flaws of those views obvious. I guess the words attributed to Churchill are true; if you’re not a liberal at 20, you have no heart. If you’re not a conservative at 40, you have no brain. Plus, I was definitely a product of the school system, even though it wasn’t particularly liberal back then – at least not compared to now.

We have had so much happen to us, especially within the last 5-6 years, that something like a lefty getting upset over my conservative views can’t bother me anymore. They just aren’t at the same level of what we’ve already lived through, and I’ve reached a point in my life where I can no longer be threatened or intimidated into submission. Age has its benefits! In the process, I discovered that the people who are the most threatening and bully-ish in their behaviour are often the most cowardly. They expect you to be cowed into submission, and when you’re not, they can’t handle it. However, instead of backing down, I have found that more and more, they instead become more devious and try to bring you down through whatever system is available to them. It could be the law, or it could be company rules and regulations, or even housing bylaws.

Here are some of the things I’ve found to be the most useful in defending myself.

First and foremost, truth, accuracy, transparency and honesty. This is the strongest foundation to stand on.

Second, constantly educate yourself in what you need to defend and protect yourself. What that is depends on your situation. In my case, for several years, the thing that protected me most was a set of bylaws for where we lived. I learned to love those bylaws! Study relevant laws, company policies – even the dictionary! – etc. They will be used against you, so know what they really say! More than that, use this self-education to know what you are and why you are that thing. If you are a conservative, what does that mean? Why did you become one? Leftists will rewrite definitions to suit their needs (as well as laws, regulations, etc.) and project motivations onto you. Do not let them define what you are. Oh, and make sure to learn Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals. They WILL be used against you.

Third, document everything. Have your phone ready to record things. Have witnesses. Be in public. Take photos and video. Have a dashboard cam. Keep emails. Take screen captures. Journal. As much as possible, make sure the time and date is included. Just as leftists will make up their own definitions, they will make up their own reality. You will be accused of all sorts of things, and having that documentation to prove the truth and defend yourself becomes essential. I started documenting things because we lived so far from family, and I wanted to share our new life with them. That habit ended up saving our butts more than a few times.

And finally, be prepared to defend yourself physically, too. It’s a sad reality, but that is increasingly the world we live in. Take self defense classes, if you can. See what options there are in your area. Maintain situational awareness. Even reading helps; I recommend The Gift of Fear, by Gavin DeBecker, which will help assess real dangers from artificial ones.

I struggle with the idea of people having to hide that they are conservatives. You are not alone! I understand the why of it, and when your career or safety is on the line, I get it. I really do. Sometimes, saying and doing nothing is the best choice. However, in my experience, saying something or standing up against something, as painful as it may be, is the only thing that will stop the problem. Not saying or doing anything serves to validate and strengthen the behaviour, and it will just keep getting worse. I think this is part of why leftism is such a big threat to our society right now. So few have stood up to challenge them for so long, it allowed them to gain power over our lives in a way that is now becoming dangerous. Conservatives tend to have a live-and-let-live attitude, and that has been taken advantage of by leftists. That can only stop if conservatives challenge them. In that, the internet can be a beautiful thing, because it does allow conservatives to stand up to the leftists – shine a light on the harm the are doing, yet still be able to protect themselves and their loved ones through anonymity.

When it comes down to it, we are at war right now. Not so much a physical war, but most definitely a psychological war. A war over to control our very thoughts and feelings. The leftists have significant control over our culture, our media, our legal systems, our education systems, and our work environment. This is a concept Christians should understand well, as we are taught, “For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world-rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places .” (ASV, Ephesians 6:12) As conservatives, sometimes our greatest enemy is our own apathy. We all have our strengths. As much as possible, we need to use them to fight back. If you can write, get your words out there; send letters to editors, politicians, start a blog, write a book, a script, poetry (a young Karol Wojtyla was an underground actor and poet before he became Pope John Paul II and helped bring down communism). Anonymity can be a significant shield, but if you are in a position to act openly, do it! If you can speak, speak boldly. If you are a sword, learn to cut. If you are a shield, shield those who are being targeted.

Leftists have weaponized social media, the arts, education, and even art and entertainment. These are, however, just tools, and tools can be used for good as well as evil. Conservatives can use the same tools. It isn’t easy, to be sure, but there is one thing to remember. You are NOT alone.


Thanks Re-Farmer for your amazing words! You are absolutely right that we must speak for those who cannot, and the silent majority must no longer be silent! I’m deeply honored you chose to write for me, and appreciate your loyal support of my blog, and as a fellow patriot 🙂

Image result for grrrgraphics cartoons

The Party of “Tolerance”

Ahh…. The Left! The party of tolerance! The party that’s accepting of every color, gender, religion, sexuality, etc… The party who fights against racism, discrimination, white supremacy. The party who believes both sexes are equal in every way and should be treated as such. The party who says “love is love”. The party who says “be whoever you feel like being” and not be boxed into what you were born with. The party who accepts all cultures, all religions, all sorts of people, not just one way of life. The party that is generous and giving to the needy. Who advocates for the underdogs of society. Or so they think 😉 But anyone who can see and has a brain knows the reality:

How the Left has demonized the white race, made it acceptable to mock white people, stereotype them as bigots, and claim they have unearned privilege and it’s on them for all the problems of the world.

How they can weaponize race as a political tool, and pit one race against another, tearing each other down rather than bringing each other up. Not to mention the bigotry of lowered expectations with every student of color they pass along, every employee they hire for their skin color, not their merit. The idea that the Left is the minority’s savior, not the minorities empowering their own communities.

How they also demonize men as the enemy of women. The oppressor, the rapist, the wife beater. How they teach a generation of girls and women to look at boys and men as predators, just waiting to grab them. To fear a hug from grandpa or an uncle. To see their one true worth as a human being as being gained only through being like a man in every way. Telling wives and mothers they need more than being “just” a keeper of the home and nurturer of their children to have any sort of life.

How they weaponize the vile assault of women to come after their political enemies by getting women to claim “MeToo” with no evidence making it much harder for REAL victims to get the belief and justice they so desperately deserve. Taking advantage of everyone’s outrage as the thought of such heinous crimes to smear an innocent man for life.

How they will turn a blind eye to the wrongs of other cultures, while only seeing wrong within our own. To hate the West and America for its past imperialism, while ignoring the imperialism in many other countries and cultures today.  To say we oppress women, while women in the 3rd world are mutilated, imprisoned, abused, beaten, raped, trafficked, made child brides, etc..etc… To shun democracy because of some flaws, while seeing none in socialism which has wreaked havoc on many countries from Russia to Venezuela today! To teach our children that the West is the great evil, while every other culture gets a free pass on their flaws.

How they blame a race for horrific acts of mass shootings, while denying a religion has become radicalized and perpetuates terror here and abroad.

How they say “love is love”, but have none for anyone who dares criticize their politicization of the gay community, or chooses to have religious objections.

How they champion themselves the protectors of women, while letting predators get a free pass in the name of transgender acceptance.

How they can pick and choose groups at will to be immune from criticism, while making others the targets of nothing but criticism.

How they can mock one’s faith, but make it heresy to do so for another’s.

How they “care” for everyone in need abroad, yet turn a blind eye to the countless Americans here that need our resources first. The homeless veteran. The starving family with children. The people who truly NEED welfare to get a leg back up in life once more instead of the cradle to grave leeches pandered to for votes. Or value the rights of an illegal who has a lengthy criminal record or even kills an American citizen by harboring them in sanctuary cities.

How they condemn alt-rightwing violence and hatred while creating violent mobs to harass families inside their homes, elderly in the streets, trashing neighborhoods, terrifying communities, while claiming a MAGA hat is a “threat” and scares them… How they see a smirk as a hostile act, but not someone inches from one’s face banging a drum loudly while others scream slurs at you. 

How they preach “acceptance” of all people, yet those with different ideas, perspectives, and experiences are labeled bigots, racists, homophobes, sexists etc… How they say that everyone is welcome on the job or in school, but truly mean just their own cohort. Conservatives can be shunned, mocked, ostracized, censored and even targets of threats and violence.

Now does any of this scream “tolerance” to you???

Image result for ben garrison covington

He Had a Dream…

Perhaps one of the most iconic speeches of the past century was the “I Have a Dream” speech by Martin Luther King Jr. A civil rights activist, he truly was on the front line fighting the prejudices of his day. Prejudices that included segregation in schools and businesses, a world where a black person could be refused service, black children denied entrance at attractions, couldn’t even drink from the same water fountain, and yes, even lynched… His activism inspired others after him to mark a day in his honor for people to reflect on what his dream was and where we are today with it.

Now, most think that this topic resides more in Leftist discourse than conservative discourse, but I disagree! Yes, the Left has pushed the narrative of black oppression, and more widely, people of all races but white, and use MLK to prove their points. However, this is flawed. First of all, since when did the Left own the dream MLK gave the black community? Where in his speech does it say “I have a dream for black democrats…” I thought that dream was for everyone… The Left however, seeks to control the narrative of black oppression and of course, blames the white race.

Problem is, and I’ve covered this in far greater detail before in my “Breaking the Cycle” post, not all issues within the black community today are caused directly by white people and past oppression, such as the Jim Crow discrimination MLK did fight against! In a pop culture that embraces music with themes of gangsters, drugs, prostitutes and objectifying women, clothes that signal “I’m a gangster”, rundown neighborhoods condoning crime where promising young people are gunned down in their prime, anyone who wants better labeled uncle Toms and such, is not a society that breeds independence and respect! One honestly can’t blame one other race for injustices long past, for the current poverty and crime in a society that perpetuates it through their clothes, music, language, trashes their neighborhoods, bullies their best and brightest, objectifies women and where 75% or so are without a father figure, and has welfare cradle to grave rather than just to get back on their feet. Yes, you can be poor, and your past can disadvantage you greatly, but the past is gone now. Sounds brutal and cruel to say this so frankly, but change cannot happen until the truth is spelled out. MLK knew that when he called out the issues plaguing his generation!

Now, in the present day, and with a blank slate as a future, why not rewrite your story? Black people, who have been enslaved a century ago have broken the bonds of that servitude and created their own identity in America. Black people who were’t even allowed to be in the presence of white people now are able to go where they please, be friends with, even marry white people, things never dreamed of in the Jim Crow era not so long ago! Do people of color still face prejudice and injustices? Of course they do! But so does everybody else… Prejudice is as old as humanity, and far older than the modern notions of race! It’s how you fight back and overcome that prejudice that determines your strength, not your victimhood status like the Left wants to believe! See, being a victor and not a victim, as another inspiring conservative black leader Candace Owens says, does not mean you were never victimized and treated unjustly. It means you fought back and empowered yourself instead of capitalizing on your helplessness… The black community has risen out of Jim Crow and was once thriving in this country. However now, much of it is sinking back into the “hood”, a life of crime and welfare as a lifestyle…

Now do all black people embrace such a detrimental culture??? Absolutely not!!! Countless people of color are appalled, embarrassed, and saddened they are painted with that awful stereotype! Don’t take my word for it! Black conservatives like Thomas Sowell and Walter Williams say it outright: their community needs a huge change! They, and other rising black leaders, such as Candace Owens who formed the current #Blexit Movement for people of color to leave the Leftist narrative of dependency and victimhood, and CJ Pearson, another rising young black conservative on Twitter, want more for their neighborhoods, their race, and their society. To them, skin color does not define who they are, what their destiny will be and what they have to think.

Race does not define a person’s character, actions do. That is the core message of MLK’s activism. The segregation, discrimination, poverty and such of his time was fueled by this notion that the black race was inherently inferior, subhuman and less deserving due to their skin color, their genetics, and a flawed view that their inherent natures were inferior to the white race. Luckily this attitude is being destroyed more and more in the present day. Black people have achieved greatness. Proven themselves just as much of value as anyone else. One was our president (albeit not a great one!) for two terms. Point is, do you honestly imagine that happening in 1960??? If people of color can achieve the presidency for two terms in a row, then why are so so many disproportionately in prisons and poverty? The Left has an easy answer: racism. However, the truth is far more nuanced, including of course, internal societal attitudes about crime and education…

I admire conservatives of color and think they too, have their own dream. I can’t speak for them with 100% certainty, but I do believe they would likely have these dreams:

A dream where their race is defined by their merit, not their skin color via affirmative action…

A dream where their communities want more than just gangs and poverty…

A dream where a generation graduates high school and goes onto college and beyond in record numbers, not in prisons disproportionately to the rest of the US population!

A dream where all little boys and girls are raised with loving involved fathers and intact families…

A dream where their race represents the top CEO’s, business men and women, professors, academics, doctors, lawyers, in people’s minds, not a welfare or victimhood stereotype!

A dream where every young aspiring student is applauded for getting great grades and scholarships to fine institutions, celebrate as the best and brightest, not derided as an uncle Tom or beaten if caught with a book…

A dream where their leaders challenge them into action, not lull them into complacency with dependence and victimhood to gain more votes…

A dream ultimately, where they’re seen as people, period. Not defined by traits merely skin deep by anyone!

Yes, they too, have their own dream! Dreams of being just like everyone else, who is successful, driven, determined, bright and passionate to make a real and lasting change! That is MLK’s legacy. Not something dated from the 60’s, but the message that change can, and must be made continuously as new challenges arise. He truly was a victor, NOT a victim! To all conservatives of color: I admire your perseverance, your strength, and determination in the face of prejudice of not just those who shun conservatives and the frank truths in our world, but from your own communities, your own people, a party who thinks they own you and your goals, dreams and aspirations! Always remember, YOU define you, NOT your skin color!

Happy MLK day 🙂

Image result for black conservative cartoons ben garrison

Oh, and for those who will cry “racist!” at me and think I’m pulling this all out of my butt, take a look at these:

Black student rejects victimhood status: ‘I am going to break stereotypes’

Civil Suit Filed As Gifted Black Girl Bullied For “Acting White,” Principal Refused To Act

Walter William’s Insights…

Thomas Sowell’s Wisdom

And more and more are walking away!…

Yes, We Need Strong Men!

In light of recent events with Gillette’s anti-traditional man commercial, people are speaking out and speaking up for the traditional man! I wanted to cover this topic before, but now seems like the prime time to do so. See, the idea of the traditional man, like the traditional woman, is under attack. The gender neutral movement of radical feminism is not truly about making things fair for women, but an attempt to eliminate any natural differences between men and women in society! They say gender is a social construct, which implies it is theirs to manipulate, and engineer in whatever Leftist direction they choose.

This has created a monster: One where little boys are now forbidden to play soldier, roughhouse, or pursue a mate later in life. All gender roles are now un PC, and boys must be taught to play with dolls, wear pink, and mothers encourage their sons to “let out their feelings” and be “vulnerable”. A boy’s natural energy is pathologized in schools as a special ed issue or a video game a gateway to being the next shooter. A little boy hugging a teacher is an assault, or pursing a playground crush if she says “eew!”. Boys creating harmless mischief and antics, or a no girls allowed tree house or club is not “sexist”. A man who wants his wife to raise his children, and vows to protect her, or puts women first in his life is now “patronizing”. A father who guards his daughter’s heart is accused of treating her like a slave. A military that wants strong men, not weaker women is now “discriminatory”… And so on and so on.

Now, the Left says gender roles are too restrictive, and enforce a “patriarchy”, but did they ever think why those roles were there in the first place? Like it or not, men are women are different. Different physically, and yes, in aptitude and emotionally as well. Humans are a sexually dimorphic species after all, if you just look down below 😉 Our traditional evolved roles suited our unique traits, thus, men being the protector and provider and doing more physical labor, while women doing the child rearing, and keeping the home, foraging, making materials needed back at camp, while the men went out to hunt and such. Many un-industrialized cultures still do this. However, as the Left points out, we’re in the 21st century, not the stone age! Our roles can become more fluid than man hunt, woman gather! And to an extent, I agree. Women and men can overlap more in today’s society in roles such as work and childcare. However, some things have not changed…

We still need our men to protect and provide for society. The cold hard truth is, women are weaker physically than men. Think of why it’s so appalling for a man to hit a woman. It’s appalling to be violent towards anyone, but the key here, as many would agree, is the woman is at an unfair disadvantage, just like it would be unfair to pair wrestlers of vastly different weight classes together for a match! Women are still more vulnerable to violence and assault, due to their weaker physicality. Men have more ways to fight back than women. Why are more women raped than men? Assaulted? It’s not the “patriarchy”, as men are also raped, but at a far less number. Now, one could argue male temperaments towards sexual aggression are higher, but doesn’t that, Lefties, imply that men and women are innately different??? Part of it, a large part I think is women simply are often too weak to fight a man pinning them down versus another guy. Try that on a guy, and take your life in your hands! Point is, women still need protection.

So does society at large. Think of who made up soldiers and armies throughout history. Only recently were women allowed in combat roles! Another sad state of affairs in gender neutral lunacy… Who defended the campsite from the rival tribe, or the predator? Who is there to defend the country in times of war? Who is strong enough to fight hand to hand with an enemy, or kick in a door or take down a thief? Who will defend a woman’s or a child’s life in times of need? Who was it helping women get out during mass shootings across the country? Who shielded their girlfriends in the movie theater and sacrificed their lives for the women they loved? Do we want all that to go away in the name of gender neutrality? Is this what toxic masculinity is about? Why do you think the marines’ tests of endurance wind the majority of women, and even men?! Do you honestly think that women in intense combat roles is just as good for our defense as the strongest men?

What’s so wrong with men being the leader and provider either? The feminists say women can look after themselves, and have the same providing role as men, but then who’s looking after the next generation? Just as men for eons have been the protectors and providers, women have been the child rearers and nurturers in the home. There is something about a mother’s love and care a father cannot replicate. Nor vice versa. “Mr. mom” will never replace REAL mom as much as the radical feminists wish to delude themselves. Mommy’s work is not more important than being there for the children, who need her at home the most, no matter what is deemed “empowering” to women at the expense of the next generation. Nor will a single mom replace the guidance and leadership a father can give his sons as future men, or his daughter in matters of the heart. As told before, the war on fatherhood is real, with dads being told to step down in their role as their children’s leader, especially in the lives of daughters. Now, it’s “toxic” to screen a daughter’s boyfriends, or tell her to wait and be chaste until the time is right. A man can’t show his daughter the men he chooses to trust her with without accusations of treating her like chattel! A woman can’t entrust her heart to her father anymore, or be given away at the altar without the Left whining about it! A man who is the rock of his family, the leader and provider is not outdated, just deemed “toxic” by the Left.

Toxic masculinity is NOT about saying “boys will be boys”, letting boys roughhouse, young men talking crudely in a private locker room, or a young man pursuing a date. It’s not the husband who will be the rock of his family, provide, honor and protect his wife. It’s not the man who feels women should be treated like ladies, let in first, given a seat, holding a door for them, paying for their date night. Nor is it the father who guards his daughter’s heart until marriage, or encourages her to know her worth and makes sure any suitor knows it too 😉 Or the brother who protects his sister’s honor when the bully called her a slut. Or the good Samaritan who stood up for a woman in need. Or the man who answers the call to defend his country or his community as a solider or policeman.

Boys talking crudely is NOT about justifying raping women! A man who provides for his wife is not controlling her finances. A father who guards the heart of his daughter is not treating her like his personal property, but his personal responsibility. A young man in pursuit of a girl is not forcing himself on her, nor forcing her to date him. A man who believes “women and children first” or that violence against women is a special type of evil is not being patronizing, but honoring the fact his strength was meant to serve the weaker and more vulnerable among us. No! REAL toxic masculinity is the wife beater. The abuser. The drunkard who won’t provide. The cheating husband. The rapist. The pedophile. The criminal. The enemy. The terrorist. The harasser that won’t stop. The bully who calls your sister that vile name.

I’m so grateful I was raised by a strong man. A man who can be sentimental, but never carried away in emotion and hysteria! A man who is the rock in his family, whom his wife and children are his priority. Who always wants to provide and jumps at every opportunity to do so. Who guards my heart until I find the right man to take his place one day once he is gone. Who shows me what a real man is, what he does and what he expects of a lady in return. Who would lay down his life for my mother and I. Who believes that every woman deserves to be protected and honored by men in society. Who can laugh with the guys over a lewd joke or “locker room talk” yet views a real rapist or assaulter of women as more vile than a murderer! And can be tough without being a bully. Who can like guy things like monster trucks, sports cars, guns, etc… yet also appreciate the beauty of art and color, or music. Who can appreciate a good looking woman, without ever one thought of being unfaithful to his wife.

He believes in gender equality, and always treated the women in his life accordingly, yet also recognized that equal does not have to mean identical and that women have strengths where men don’t and men have strengths where women don’t. Nor in guarding my heart, views me as his personal property that he is entitled to do as he sees fit. In fact, he often tells me “It’s your decision” 😉 He wants me to have my own mind, my own path in life, my own career, but also, to open my heart to a man like himself. A protector and provider who will honor, protect, cherish, and lead me. He has real feelings, but is not weak. Is tough but not a bully. Appreciates a good looking woman, but not a slime bag. Can banter with the boys but never once mistreated a woman. Knows the worth of women in his life, but is not afraid to assert his own worth as a traditional masculine man!

Toxic masculinity is NOT the idea of the traditional man as provider, protector and leader of his family and his community! The man who can put up a good wresting match, or holds his emotions back to be there when his family needs him in times of crisis. The man who likes monster trucks and guns instead of soap operas, and knitting sweaters! The man who would rather avoid pink in his wardrobe. The man who tells his wife “I’ll provide for you and our children” or his daughter “he’s not good for you”. The man who answers the call of duty here and abroad. And it’s certainly not men who are man enough to have to shave each morning 😉

Image result for ben garrison trump slaying dragon

My #WalkAway Story Series: CW Miller

My #WalkAway Story Series is a bigger and more long term project for A Lady of Reason, and it’s all about YOU! This is your big chance at getting your voice heard and your own story out there! For many closeted conservatives, afraid for our livelihood, social networks, family connections, even physical safety now, being stuck in the closet can be extremely isolating and it’s easy to feel like it’s you against the world sometimes! I certainly feel that way! By sharing our stories collectively, I hope to give a voice to you, my dear readers and followers here on WordPress and Social Media, to show each other camaraderie and that in fact, we’re NOT alone, just in the shadows. Well folks, it’s time to come out of the shadows and into the light! The “silent majority” is at least half of our nation, so you’re not truly alone. Come and hear others, and add your own voice, your own story to the mix, of what it’s like being a conservative in an increasingly Leftist country! Send me an e-mail at aladyofreason@outlook.com or direct message me at @aladyofreason1 on Twitter to add YOUR story!!! 🙂 I’ll send you the standard question list, or you can just write it free form as a narrative…

This loyal patriot and follower of mine wanted to add her story into the mix of Walk Away stories as well! Here’s her very interesting story and good advice for those who feel afraid to be openly conservative!

Tell me about yourself briefly:

My name is Caroline and I currently live in Central PA; a native NY-er of 45 yrs. I am in my late 50’s, and I am and retired, although hard at work caring for a disabled spouse with Multiple Sclerosis, four pets, and looking after my adult son and his lovely girlfriend who both work full-time. All four of us actually have disabilities that challenge us each day and every day we conquer that is another battle won!

When did you become conservative? If you were ever liberal, what made you walk away?

Growing up in a large city such as New York City can mold one into a liberal entity by default by nature of its diversity and social needs and demands. However, exterior circumstances shouldn’t always influence our personal values by which we were raised, or what we feel or know in our hearts. Even though I was by nature a “wild child,” by nurture I was raised with very traditional values by a very tight-knit and strong family. At some point in my latter 20’s a gay friend called me a “closet conservative.” It was then I realized as I was sharing with him some issues I was going through in my personal life that I was becoming uncomfortable in my own skin because it really wasn’t the skin I belonged in!

Do you feel at all afraid to be openly conservative? If so, how do you cope with being closeted?

Fortunately as a young adult it was the Reagan/Bush era at the time so there was little stigmatization I had to face. Then among and after 8 yrs of the Clinton debacle there was always Mayor Giuliani, (thank God!), and then of course Bush Jr. I moved to Central PA in 2008, after a short two year stint in New Hampshire so the liberal pressure was little and far between; until, of course, Obama ran against McCain, then Romney, and then recently the Hillary nightmares. Most of the harassment took place on social media. I ended up blocking several people and had to break ties with a few.

What advice do you have for other conservatives who are afraid to speak out?

As the saying goes; “if you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything.” What use is it being born in one of the best countries of the world in all its freedoms if you have to be afraid to be free? I believe free-will is a gift from God, and so many use it for wrong. Use yours for right! Pun intended!

I agree Caroline! That’s a very good point that if we don’t stand up for our values, all we do is cave to the mob rule and popular opinion. What feels good rather than does good! We should not be afraid to be free in this country of freedom and the silent majority must no longer be silent to show our fellow Americans what we stand for 🙂