I have written many times before on A Lady of Reason about the frankly “unreasonable” amount of entitlement in our society! From snowflake millennials needing trigger warnings and safe spaces, to wanting to cancel classes for the day because their opponent’s candidate assumed the presidency and many other wild requests, to people demanding we go out of our way to change the words we use to accommodate their own personal baggage, political correctness, ad-hominem accusations, “ownership” over cultural expression, inconsequential protesting etc… it’s safe to say today’s society feels very entitled in demands to have the world adapt to us, rather than us to the world.
Well, there’s another thing that goes hand in hand with a culture of entitlement: lack of any sense of accountability for one’s choices and avoidance of accepting any consequences. You see, when people decide they’re entitled to have the world cater to them and not have to bend to go with how things are, I’ve observed they often don’t feel the need to accept any consequences of poor choices they feel “entitled” to make. There are countless examples of this sad phenomena all throughout our culture now, and I argue this attitude of entitlement and lack of accountability is one of the root causes of other issues I’ve written about.
The first major example I’ve got much to say on revolves around the radical liberal and feminist views on sexuality. Our “hook-up culture” has much to do with the sense of entitlement to just pursue what makes us feel good, regardless of foolish choices and outcomes. “Sex feels good, why not just do it with anyone any time we feel like it?” is the order of the day, and traditional values of waiting for the right person, being faithful to one partner, and accepting the consequences, such as STD’s and pregnancies are all labeled as too outdated and “prudish”. The radical feminist movement has been teaching young women and girls to be “liberated” and have bodily autonomy not to guard their sexuality and simply go and be promiscuous like men. “It’s all relative, and a subjective opinion” they say about the traditional view of waiting until marriage, and treating sex as a milestone and not a handshake. In fact, we are entitled to fling ourselves at any one, regardless of the dangers, then not take any blame for a mishap like sexual assault or “bad sex” you regret the morning after. No! Just accuse the man of rape after the fact to absolve any responsibility for your foolish choice. Speaking of, now, you don’t have to be responsible for sending out signals that you actually wanted sexual attention such as dressing provocatively and flirting. That’s “blaming the victim” and “slut shaming”! People can tell you to lock your doors or you’ll get robbed, but heaven forbid they tell you to carry pepper spray, not go alone in seedy areas, and cover up! Bottom line: one is entitled to fling themselves at whoever they want consequence free and play victim then it doesn’t go their way…
On a related note, another example revolves around family choices and planning. People feel entitled to just hook up, then pop out kids regardless of ability to provide for them. Even some conservatives feel this way, that families are entitled to have kids they aren’t able to provide for properly and reproduction is a “human right”. Now, I’m not saying there should be an actual government law on people’s reproduction, I mean, I’m no fan of “Big Brother” and how would one honestly enforce it before the “deed is done” so to speak?, but this issue is a more of “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” variety. People will cry “eugenics!” if we say we ought to control how many people we bring into this world, and if those people ought to be healthy and fit for our next generation, but honestly, why shouldn’t we?
It’s amazing to me how families with multiple kids already decide they can’t afford a pet, but don’t think twice about popping out yet another mouth to feed! If you can’t afford the care of a pet, why on earth do you think a child is any less to care for financially and emotionally??? So many parents, or “parent” as many are single moms now, pop out kids they can’t afford, derail their prospects of getting a future like higher education or a better paying job, then ask us for our pity. Now, while my heart goes out to the children, the parents? No way! They chose to get knocked up, regardless of the pregnancy being planned! So many are on welfare and public assistance, draining our tax money and using the children as sympathy bait. Popping out kids who will grow up in poverty and a lack of attention they need in my book can never be morally justified as a “human right”. However, just as many feel entitled to consequence free sex, they don’t want to owe up to needing the self-control to plan better as a family! Don’t cry to me saying you need pity and charity because you got yourself in a no-future situation because you popped out kids and the baby daddy took off! Just passively giving into your baser urges then saying you and your partner(s) “can’t help it” and pop out kids, is the pinnacle of entitlement and lack of accountability! A disgusting one at that considering the real victims: your children! Not to mention all the resentment many seem to feel towards their kids, like in many parenting articles on how to cut corners without feeling guilty, and condemning any “judgement” calling out their sub-par parenting. In fact, many parenting articles embrace mediocrity and bare-minimum effort!
Speaking of children, what about the poor relationship choices you made and now the kids are in the middle? Many adults care more for their own egos in spiting their ex, than the trauma the kids feel. They feel they can make whatever choice they want, becuase they’re the adult, and it’s their life, despite the deep emotional scars of powerless vulnerable children. They can just up and move the family and pull out all the roots and security their children build in their home for no good reason other than they want to, then expect the kids to be happy and never feel any emotion other than what’s convenient for the parents. They expect the kids to treat the new boyfriend or girlfriend like their “new” mom or dad, giving no respect to a child’s bond with a parent. No, it’s all about their life, children are just the third wheel being dragged along! Heaven forbid the children actually question that, as we aren’t “accountable to them”, as the therapists say. If you go to family therapy, many will indulge the parents’ poor choices and apathy towards their own children’s feelings. These so called “therapists” tell lies that help make no accountability for the dissolution of the nuclear family, and help made it permissable to believe the “any family is a real family” lie, and are little better than dog trainers in helping the kids cope. The kids are brainwashed to be content in the parents’ selfishness or else they’re “bad kids” or “damaged” and need to change, as if they have zero right to their own feelings! No one ever says, “you made a poor choice, and now your kids are suffering.” It’s always “They’ll bounce back, and you just put them in their place.”.
Some lesser yet still very telling examples are what many feel adulthood entitles them. Adult privileges such as drinking, gambling, smoking and more freedom to make stupid choices, many actually feel are blind and should be arbitrary simply on the fact they surpassed the magical age of 18 or 21. In essence, they feel entitled to do all of those poor choices simply because they can! Many adults such as parents and teachers, will preach until their face turns blue all of the detriments of drinking, smoking and such for youth underage and cite all the relevant statistics and studies saying it’s stupid and will hinder one;s growth and futures. However, at age 18 or 21, somehow this magic coin flips and now it’s all “a-okay” because “adults get to make stupid choices becuase they’re older, or have more responsibility”. It’s just an arbitrary privilege of adulthood. But at what cost??? Smoking can give you all sorts of cancers, lung cancer, emphysema, heart failure, etc… drinking leads to addiction and liver problems, horrible ones where you die in pain and discomfort just as much as smoking.
And what about the people around you? I think, by the logic of adults have more responsibilities towards others, they are in a worse position to make any poor choices! The family that you will need to care for, your own parents, children for instance, will be affected by your poor choices. If you go to jail, who will be there for your elderly parents, spouse, or kids? What about your kids getting second hand smoke, then watching you die a premature death down the road for a horrible affliction? What about your poor parents, spouse, and kids seeing alcohol consume your life and who you were? When people depend on you, my family taught me you look out for them, and that means making wise choices for yourself because it will affect the people you love and depend on you. Why aren’t we telling our youth certain choices are bad for one’s development and future, period? Why when they reach the arbitrary legal age, does society give them free rein to make poor decisions without other’s judgement and condemnation? Sure, laws are in place to impose consequences, but we too often excuse others and ourselves of the consequences we are morally accountable for, not just legally.
The whole “addiction is a disease” movement is a prime example of this! I do not deny the biological changes in the brain that make addiction a physical thing. However, the word “disease” carries the connotation of something beyond one’s immediate control. The vice itself is not an illness like diabetes or heart disease! Addiction may be biochemically carved in the brain at a certain point, making quitting more than will power alone, but it started with the choice to take drugs or dink in the first place! The rhetoric of the disease based model takes away any personal accountability and blame and casts the addict as the “victim”. Devastated families write in obituaries how their loved one “succumbed” and “lost their fight” and make excuse after excuse as to why they’re still a decent human being after hurting their family and friend in countless ways. All the let downs and broken promises are all excused away under the guise of this “disease”.
Overall, there are countless examples not listed too, but these are major ones I’ve observed. The common denominator in all though, is the attitude that we’re entitled to make poor choices consequence free and not be held morally accountable by society when we do slip up. The person who made poor choices like getting in debt, being broke, having no-future or barely scraping by to pay college tuition then decides to have a fling, get knocked up then cry out for pity and charity when the baby daddy leaves and they’re stuck with a child. The “victim” who dressed like a hooker, went down an ally way and didn’t say “no” is to be given sympathy and condemnation of anyone who points out her part in the situation. The divorcee who has scarred her children for life and made them jaded towards men and family but whose therapist says “do what makes you happy”. The addict who overdosed is remembered as a “great family person” when they left their son or daughter behind because they chose drugs over their own children. And yet, our society will make excuse after excuse and demonize anyone who doesn’t join the pity party! It’s a sad state of affairs when crying victim is in, and responsibility and accountability are out and considered “old fashioned”. When will we have had enough, and push ourselves and our society to higher moral standards?