Many of my fellow conservative readers may have noticed, that unlike many of my fellow conservatives, I have never, invoked religion as an argument for my positions here on A Lady of Reason. Indeed, the whole point of this blog is to give non-religious/secular minded women who have conservative views an outlet. This is where I disagree with many of my conservative peers. While we share many views on many issues, I feel like i do not need to invoke God for justification for my views, my opinions are backed up on strictly secular grounds. Many conservatives who in most matters I agree with, think that secularism is bad, or a trait only the liberal snowflakes ought to embrace. Some, have written articles about how secularism drains the purpose or joy out of life, or impedes traditional morals and values. Many conservatives feel like a huge part of being conservative requires religion! I digress. Here are some issues which I generally agree with my fellow religious conservatives on, but justify from a secular perspective.
Modesty: Many religious traditions have embraced modesty, including Christianity, Judaism and Islam. However, the merits of modest dress don’t necessarily have to involve religion. Modesty in dress signals an attitude of shunning detrimental hook up culture and hypersexualization and unladylike vulgarity and promiscuity. Modesty conveys the image of a lady of standards, not one who will throw herself at any man who passes by! Modesty does not have to be about pleasing some god, it can be about resisting a culture that wants women to be cheap and easy. Not to mention, the role of provocative action and dress and its correlation with sexual assault.
Gender roles: Women and men are different by nature, it has been proven scientifically that male and female brains are wired different. The societal denial of the inherent differences in gender is detrimental to men and women alike, in that each tries to be forced into the other’s role, to no avail. Now, women and girls are being told they have to be more like men to be worth something, to be equal to men, and to denounce their own womanhood. Men and boys are being feminized, and turned into soft sheep afraid of their own shadow! While religious people can say that God ordained certain roles, the secular minded can acknowledge the scientific evidence for the differences in genders, and the societal implications for a society that denies them.
Traditional Family: “Any family is a real family” is the new slogan in town! However, dysfunction and unfulfillment plague these so called families such as divorced and broken homes, single parent homes, same sex parent homes, children raised by other relatives. God doesn’t have to get involved. Religious or not, an unhappy dysfunctional home that lacks what it needs to raise well rounded children is detrimental, period. The decay of the nuclear family is spreading every day, and reflects an “anything goes” society, where marriage is dishonored, children are not the priority, and “alternative” lifestyles take precedence over what has been the family structure for decades. In this “hook up” culture, the traditional family, one of loving parents and generations of stable marriages are going away. The impact on society is a generation of children without real families and stable homes, and in therapy!
The Institution of Marriage: Marriage was once a deep promise, a lifetime of commitment to your partner. Now, it’s little more than dating 2.0! Promiscuity, infidelity, divorce, and such are rampant! Younger generations are forsaking marriage for “live in” situations, and hook ups! In this hook up culture and anything goes society, marriage symbolizes the lost sense of commitment and devotion to one’s partner in life. One doesn’t need God to decree marriage is the only way to be in a relationship. One simply has to witness the cheapening of love, commitment and devotion in favor of flings and hookups and treating people as disposable commodities, instead of life partners to see the benefits of a society that embraces marriage.
Abstinence and Chastity: Sex has been cheapened so much by society today. Once, sex was reserved for wedlock, but now, it’s an anyone can join affair! For young ladies, the choice to save yourself for marriage is not just about whether or not God decrees you must. It can be a secular based choice as well, like for me. I will admit this is more of a personal preference, but for good reason. Abstinence before marriage practically, will prevent many “accidents” such as unwanted pregnancy by some random guy, or an STD from a guy who isn’t committed to you nor told you. Sex within wedlock is the “safest” form of sex, even with protection, as you and your partner are committed to each other, they won’t just leave you after the “fling” is done. More abstractly, I personally believe that the greatest gift a young lady could give a man is trusting him with her sexuality. A lady of standards does not just sleep with any man, and give herself away like a handshake. True, men often have more sexual freedom, but I argue women are not suited to emulate the sex drive of a man, by her biological nature. Women evolved to be selective with mates since she has more to lose if she slips up and gets pregnant. A man can just walk away, she is stuck with a child for 9 months. Waiting until marriage is a choice that gives sex its due reverence, and not just a hook up. A lady used to have her first time be a milestone, now it’s merely a handshake…
Traditional Femininity: More specifically within gender roles, I feel that women should become the ladies women of past generations were raised to be. Ones who wished for marriage, not hookups or live in boyfriends. Ones who embraces elegance and grace, instead of vulgarity and promiscuity to get their way. Girls should be taught to be what our grandmothers were: ladies, not tomboy male wannabes, or rude and vulgar “Nasty Women”. Women should be unashamed to act and dress as women. Wear dresses and skirts, do more traditionally feminine things, wear a gown to their prom instead of a tuxedo. Young women should become ladies of standards, not some cheap sleaze bag who hands herself on the street corner and hooks up with any guy who asks. Such detrimental behaviors, vulgarity, promiscuity, aggressiveness under the guise of “being a man”, being a “Nasty Woman” as the current radical feminist movement puts it, all have negative affects for society and women that do not need a religion to know they’re detrimental!
Yes, I am an atheist myself. I embrace science and reason, yet also embrace traditional morality from the religious. I just don’t have the religious part in my reasoning. Just because I’m secular, doesn’t mean I think an “anything goes” society is a good thing. I don’t believe secularism will lead to unchecked morals and anarchy! I base much off my moral code and what I feel is right or wrong off ethics and evidence, what I see to be good or bad for society. I don’t need arbitrary pronouncements on what should be right or wrong. I can reason for myself and these are my conclusions. I also feel like my secular world view is mutually exclusive with shunning political correctness and the snowflake hype of the left. While many secular minded people are highly liberal socially, the two are not contradictory if one can be conservative without religion. My blog title reflects this fact. We are Ladies, women of standards, elegance and grace who embrace their femininity, women who do not have to emulate men to feel noteworthy, but also people who use reason, logic and evidence to support their views and guide their morality. I don’t need religion to be socially conservative. The evidence is right in front of me!